Chapter 34 Maverick
CHAPTER 34
MAVERICK
W hen the phone rings a few minutes after I disconnect with Hendrix, I’m not surprised it’s Zere. I actually thought she’d call sooner.
“Hey, Zee,” I say, sitting on a stool at the countertop in Hendrix’s kitchen.
“Hey, Zee?” She infuses each word with outrage. “Fuck you, Mav.”
“You’re upset that I’m seeing Hendrix.”
“Up… upset? Why would I be upset that you’re seeing one of my friends only three months after we broke up? That would be ridiculous.”
“You barely knew her before Lewks , and your connection is primarily through business. Don’t act like the two of you have been close for years.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me. You’re dating, Zere, and I don’t begrudge you that at all. I’m happy for you.”
“Of course you are because it makes you feel better about this shit with Hendrix.”
“I was happy for you before anything officially happened with Hendrix.”
“Officially? Let’s deal with that word for a moment. When exactly did this begin?”
The moment we met.
I don’t say that because she would hate me for it. She may already hate me. Zere and I were not together when I met Hendrix, but I would have been drawn to her even if we had. I wouldn’t have acted on it, but I don’t believe her laugh, her heart, her beauty and drive would have impacted me any less.
“It wasn’t a start exactly,” I reply after a moment of figuring out how to say this. “When we met in Miami, we connected around our shared passion for venture capital.”
“Passion,” she scoffs. “Go on.”
I give my annoyance a second to abate before continuing.
“And of course, her mother has Alzheimer’s and after what I navigated with my grandfather, I understood what she might be feeling. We became friends.”
“Why her?” Zere’s voice goes shrill with hurt. “She’s not even your type.”
“Driven? Generous? Kind? Funny?” I soften my tone. “Aren’t you that type, Zee?”
“But physically, she’s not your type.”
My face twists into a scowl. “What’s that mean?”
“I was a model, Maverick. I was on People ’s Most Beautiful list. How do you go from me to her?”
“Wait a damn minute, Zere. I don’t know who to feel most insulted for. Me, because you think I’m that shallow. Hendrix, because you don’t see how fucking gorgeous she is, inside and out.” I pause and gentle my voice. “Or on your behalf, because you don’t understand the good I saw in you, the beauty I saw in you, outshines your physical appearance. Is that why you thought I was with you?”
“Of course it’s why you were with me. Men like you who can buy and have anything they want add beautiful women to their collection. I’ve understood that all my life. Is this some kind of phase you’re going through? A midlife crisis?”
“Let me be very clear. I think Hendrix has the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. Her face is art to me. I love her body. I think it’s thick in all the right places and I’ve been physically attracted to her from the moment we met.” Tension creeps across my shoulders and I squeeze the phone more tightly. “I would never be in a relationship with someone solely based on physical appearance, though. I wish in the time we were together you had realized that. For your sake.”
“I’m not body-shaming. Don’t try to put that on me,” Zere says, a defensive note piercing her voice. “I’m just saying a man like you can have anyone he wants.”
“And I do.”
The quiet assurance of my response sits between us for extended seconds, and I’m not sure where to go next. I just want to be done with the conversation. She wants me to feel like I’ve done something wrong, and I know I haven’t. As much as I want to spare Zere’s feelings in this, I won’t say that.
“I don’t know if I can work with her after this,” Zere goes on. “Have you considered what this decision might cost her?”
“If you decide not to move forward with Hendrix as a business partner, that’s understandable. I think she was prepared for that possibility.” And she still chose me, which I’ll never forget or take for granted. “That is your right. You should feel comfortable with your business associates.”
“You don’t care about what she’s giving up?” Zere asks bitterly. “What will you offer Hendrix when the novelty wears off?”
“What if it never does?”
“You don’t… You can’t be saying you love her.”
“I’m saying she’s special to me. We’re aligned in some very fundamental ways.”
“You mean that she doesn’t want kids?” Sobs leak through her wall of indignation. “I’m being punished for wanting to be a mother?”
“You’d punish me for not wanting to be a father again? And should Hendrix be punished for not wanting kids? Most men want children, but I have Tamia. I don’t need that from Hendrix. It’s just another way she and I make sense.”
“And you and I don’t?”
“Not anymore, no, but while we did, I loved you, Zere. I want you to believe that. Every love isn’t forever. We can love people along the way. Relationships can begin and then end.”
“And when do you think your relationship with Hendrix will end?”
I hope it won’t.
It’s not anything I would say to Zere. I wouldn’t even say it to Hendrix in case I scare her off this early in the game, but I have a visceral response to the idea of being with Hendrix forever.
“The longer we talk, the clearer it becomes that you didn’t actually know me, Zee, and that we would never have worked in the long run. That has nothing to do with Hendrix and everything to do with the fact that you and I are incompatible in a way that is more fundamental than I realized.”
“So that’s it? You just discard me and on to the next one?”
“I wish you the best, Zere.”
“You were the best,” she whispers. “You were the best for me and the fact that you’ve already moved on and given that to someone else breaks my heart.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s not nearly enough.”
I don’t know what would be, so I say the only thing I can.
“Goodbye, Zee.”