Chapter 4 #2
“Jude.” The urgency in Carlo’s voice stopped him, but it was the pleading look in his eyes that wrenched his heart. “Take care of my boy.”
Jude gave the man a solemn nod. “I will.” He meant it with every fiber of his being.
He stepped into the hallway to text his family.
Jude: Looks like I’ll be staying in town for a few weeks.
Dad: Sounds good.
Boone: Yes! Snowfest trophy is ours!
Jude: I’ll be bringing a friend.
Boone: Is she hot?
Jude: It’s a he. And he’s five. The kid I came here for. Seems like he needs more than a bike.
Decker: What’s this now?
Wyatt: You need anything?
That last question pricked his heart.
He’d been on his own for twelve years, out in the world, making his way. He’d served this country, started a business, and hadn’t needed a damn thing from anybody.
Until now. Because he couldn’t pretend he could handle this situation. He needed to lean on his family.
Jude: Yeah. I’m going to need help.
To avoid exposing Finlay and Cody to the club’s party, Jude led them out the back. The snow-covered ground had him glancing down at Finlay’s delicate pink shoes. “You need to swing by your house?”
“No.” She must’ve been surprised by her own vehemence because she closed her mouth and looked away. “Sorry. I’m just not ready to see him yet.” When they reached Carlo’s black Mustang, she busied herself with helping the boy into his booster seat.
After they got on the road, Jude asked quietly, “Are you afraid of him?” Only when she glanced at his hands did he realize how tightly he gripped the leather-wrapped steering wheel. But he couldn’t relax until he got an answer.
“Not at all. It’s nothing like that. Honestly, I just need time to process.” She spoke in a whisper so Cody wouldn’t hear the conversation, but with the loud, rumbly engine, he didn’t think the boy could hear anything.
“You said there’s no hope of getting back with him?”
“None.”
As much as he wanted to know what the fucker had done, it was none of his business. “Well, remember, say the word, and I’ll take you where you need to go.”
“Thank you. Believe me, I know it’s bizarre that I ran out on my wedding an hour ago, and now I’m on my way to buy a bike for Cody, but seeing him in that situation, knowing how scared he is… All I know is he’s become the priority for right now, you know?”
He nodded, a little overwhelmed. Because a whole human was being buckled into the back seat, and he didn’t have a clue how to make this turn of events easier for the boy. Well, for either of them, frankly.
“You know how they say kids are adaptable?” she asked. “Well, Cody’s had way more than his share of upheaval. But this is good. He’ll get to be around your family. He’ll have his first real Christmas.” She raised her voice. “You two are going to have so much fun together.”
When she turned to smile at the boy, Jude noticed her arm was stretched behind her.
They were holding hands. Her natural instinct was to comfort the boy, while he was thinking about himself. Not that Cody was an inconvenience, but more that he wouldn’t know what he was doing.
He had to stop that. If you do this, you have to think of what’s best for him. All the damn time.
“But what about your job?” she asked. “Can you take this much time off?”
He shrugged. “I mean, it sucks. They’re not going to be happy with me for bailing during a busy season, but they’ll function without me. Like you said, he’s the priority.” He glanced in the rearview mirror to see Cody watching out the window and talking to himself.
“What if you get fired?”
“I’m a bartender. I can get a job anywhere.”
“Like Wild Billy’s?” She smiled. “Your dad’ll love that.”
“Yeah. His bar’s crazy any time of year, but during ski season, it’s out of control. He can always use the help.” He lowered his voice even more. “You mentioned kids being ready for kindergarten. How’s he doing?”
“Why?” She arched a brow. “Are you going to be with him more than six weeks?”
The idea sent a jolt through him because the possibility seemed both inevitable and impossible at the same time. “Just curious. Seems like the more I know, the better I can help.”
“See? A guy who’s not cut out for this role wouldn’t have asked that question.
” She leaned a little closer. “To be honest, he’s behind with literacy and numeracy, but that’s not a problem at this age.
It’s easy for them to catch up. Really, he just needs someone to talk to him.
Like, you know, count jellybeans, point out colors, read books…
talk about animals. Just expose him to things and use it all as a learning experience. ”
“I can do that. And what about his behavior?”
“I’m not his teacher, but from what I understand, he mostly keeps to himself. He’s quiet. I don’t think he’s suited for the, uh, unstructured environment of a bike club.”
“I was like that.” He kept his focus on the road. Probably shouldn’t have brought it up.
“What do you mean?” She leaned in again, and this time, he glanced over and couldn’t miss the swell of her breasts in that tight T-shirt. “I thought you loved it there.”
“Not even a little. Why would you think that?”
“Because you only hung out with your biker friends. You pretty much ignored everyone else.”
“No one else wanted to be my friend.” He’d never talked to anyone about his childhood, so hearing it out loud made him anxious. Why change her view of him?
“Huh. That’s not how it looked from my perspective. I mean, the guys tried to copy you, and the girls wanted to date you. It seemed like you were living your best life and couldn’t be bothered with kids your own age.”
“Not the case at all. I was constantly getting into trouble, letting my dad down. I couldn’t pull my head out of my ass.”
“That’s so funny to hear because you had so much attitude. You’d laugh when you got in trouble in class.”
“I’m sure I did. But honestly, it was embarrassing to be tagged as the pothead or the loser. It didn’t feel good.”
“I had no idea. Couldn’t you have changed all that if you’d played football or run for class president or something? You know what I mean? If you’d joined a club or a sport, maybe you’d have made friends that way.”
His fingers clenched the wheel. “Those weren’t possibilities for me.”
“You’re blowing my mind right now. I thought you hated the jocks and student council geeks.”
“I hated them for the way they treated me when I was a kid. Like in third grade, when Joey Gillespie invited the whole class to his party—except me.”
“Jude.” Her voice got all soft.
“It is what it is.” He made it sound like it didn’t matter, that it hadn’t hurt him.
But it had. “Ava used to say I was a ‘rough-and-tumble’ kid. I was too loud, too aggressive.” How else could he have survived life in the club?
“Parents thought I was a bad influence, and I get that. I remember showing up at Mason Watter’s house for his birthday, and his mom blocked the door.
She got right up in my face and said, ‘I only invited you because Mason made me, but I don’t want you here.
You’d better not start anything.’” He couldn’t believe he was telling her this. He’d never told anyone.
“God, Jude.”
“I don’t need pity.”
“Yeah, well, it’s called compassion, and little boy Jude is going to get it, because that was an awful thing for her to do. I’m sorry it happened.”
“It was a long time ago, and it all worked out in the end.”
“True. Maybe you didn’t get to play football, but you had an entire roster of girls to hook up with.”
“Sure, girls who wanted to fuck a bad boy out of their systems.” He glanced at Cody again to find him drawing in the fog that steamed up his window.
No way could he hear over the throaty growl of Carlo’s engine.
“But it’s one of the reasons I agreed to take him.
In a small town, when you get tagged as a bad kid from day one, it defines you for the rest of your life. I don’t want that to happen to him.”
“I’m so surprised to hear this. Is that why you didn’t talk to me during school? You thought I didn’t want to be your friend?”
“No.” He knew she did. He saw the lingering looks, the longing. Of course he did.
“I don’t understand. Then why did you ignore me?”
“Didn’t want you associated with me.”
“Where’s my grandpa?” Cody’s little voice held fear and uncertainty.
Finlay twisted around. “Remember, he has to go to the doctor to get better? That’s why we packed a bag for you, so you could stay with Jude for a few weeks.”
“How long is six weeks?” the boy asked.
How the hell do you answer that?
But Finlay didn’t miss a beat. “You know how you go to school Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday? And then you’re home for the weekend?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s one week. So it’s six of those.” Finlay raised her hand and lowered a finger at a time. “One, two, three, four, five, and six.”
The boy nodded like he understood. “Grandpa takes me fishing on the weekends. We get lots of fishies. They’re slimy.”
“I’ll bet they are. So yeah, that’s how long it’ll take for your grandpa to get better. Six weeks of school goes by fast, right?”
Cody nodded.
“And in the meantime, you’ll get to spend Christmas with Jude. Your dad’s best friend.”
With a troubled look, Cody looked back out the window. “I don’t know.”
“What don’t you know, sweetheart?” Finlay asked.
“He’s the man in the picture?” Cody caught Jude’s eye in the mirror.
The direct eye contact forced Jude to find his voice. “I am. I met your dad when I was six years old, and we stayed friends till I moved away.”
“He was your best friend?” Cody asked.
“Yes, he was.”
“Amy’s my best friend.”
“There you go,” Finlay said. “Same thing.”
The boy still seemed uneasy, but he looked away.
“It’s hard to be with someone new,” Finlay said. “Would it help if I spent some time with you, too? The three of us?”
Shyly, Cody’s gaze flicked over to her. “Yes.”
“Oh, good. Then I’ll come over sometimes, and we can all play.”