Chapter 4 #3
Jude kept his mouth shut until the boy settled back in his seat and resumed doodling on the steamed window. “You don’t have to do this, okay?” This wasn’t her burden. It was his. “You’ve got enough on your plate. Don’t feel obligated to hang out with us.”
“I’m sure once he gets used to you, he won’t need me. In the meantime, I’ll do what I can to make it easier for him.”
As they approached town, the traffic grew thicker. “Last chance for me to drop you somewhere.”
“Uh…” She glanced at Cody. “Not yet. I don’t think either of us is ready.”
“You know everyone’s worried about you, right? You want to at least let them know you’re all right?”
“Yeah, I guess.” As he sailed through the Main Street intersection, she leaned across the console. “Wait. Shouldn’t you be turning? That’s the way to Bazoo’s Mercantile.”
“Not going there.”
“But that’s the only place in town that sells bikes,” she said.
“We’ve got a garage full of them at my dad’s house. He can have his pick.”
“Oh. I thought you were going to get him a new one.”
“You’re a runaway bride. Do you really want people to see you with me forty minutes after leaving your groom at the altar?”
“No, sir.” She settled back in her seat. “I do not.” Her eyes widened. “Good call.”
“Miss O’Neill?” Cody called.
“Yes, sweetie?”
“Did you bring my blanket?”
“I did. We put it in the duffel bag, remember?”
“Can I have it?”
“Of course.” She unbuckled, sat up in her seat, and reached around back.
He heard the zipper and the soft rustle of clothing as she handed over a red-checkered fleece blanket with frayed edges. “Here you go, sweetie.”
“Thank you.” Clutching it to his chest, Cody rested his cheek on it and turned back to the window.
“You’re welcome.” Finlay quickly dropped back down and latched herself in. “I asked him what he wanted to pack, and you know what he said? Well, besides the blanket.”
“No idea.”
“He asked for three things. The first was a picture of you and his dad.”
His chest tightened. “You’ve got it?” He wanted to see that.
“I do, yeah.” She went quiet for a moment. “He showed me what his dad wrote on the back.”
He didn’t want to talk about this. Not when a knot formed in this throat.
“Do you want to know what it says?” she asked.
“I know. Cody read it to me.” His voice came out rough and raw. It meant a lot that Cody kept it with him.
But what Marco wrote on the back gutted him.
“What do you mean?” she asked. “He’s five. He doesn’t read.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. On the phone, he said, ‘If I’m not around, call Jude. He’s me just in another place.’”
“Are you serious? I can’t believe he memorized it.”
“That’s how scared he is at the club. He’s holding on to that picture, making sure he’ll have someone to take care of him.”
“I think you’re right.” She gave him a helpless look. “He needs stability. Safety. Every kid deserves that.”
Is that me?
Am I the only one who can provide that for him?
It didn’t seem possible, but Carlo wouldn’t have chosen Jude if there were an alternative. He couldn’t think that far ahead, though, so he got the conversation back on track. “What else did he bring?”
“A box full of his ‘special’ things.”
“What’s in it?”
“Rocks, feathers, buttons. Stuff like that.”
Ah, hell. “Did you see a metal gear about this big?” He showed her his palm.
“Yes. How’d you know that?”
“That’s Marco’s. We started that collection when we were kids. We’d wander around the woods, picking up cool things. I can’t believe he kept it.” Man, he wished things had turned out differently.
“That’s sweet that he did,” she said softly. “It says a lot about your friendship.”
“Yeah.” Dammit. He had a lot of regrets in life, but at that moment, with Marco’s son in the back seat, his old friend was the biggest. He shouldn’t have cut him off completely. They could’ve stayed in touch.
“You seem surprised, though.”
“Well, yeah. Things changed as we got older. I didn’t hang out with him as much.
And then, of course, I left town.” He’d never forget the time he’d gone to Bazoo’s to buy a pair of jeans.
The moment he and his friends left the store, a clerk ran out after them, demanding to see what was under Marco’s sweatshirt.
His friend had bolted, dropping the item on the ground, and Jude had wound up paying for it. He’d felt intense shame that day.
He supposed he needed that reminder. They’d grown apart for a reason. As Marco headed into illegal activity, the friendship hadn’t been sustainable.
“What’re you thinking?” she asked.
“Mostly, how different Marco’s life would’ve turned out if he’d been born into another family. He might’ve gone to college, majored in geology or engineering or something.”
“It’s kind of sweet, though, isn’t it?” she asked. “You couldn’t save Marco, but you have a real chance to help his son.”
Her words rang true. “You’re jumping the gun here. I have him for six weeks. That’s it. Don’t start making a vision board about some happy family, okay? It’s not going to happen.”
“We’ll see.” She pushed her bottom back in the seat and tugged on the waistband of her jeans.
“You okay? Jeans not comfortable?”
“When you have a butt and hips, it’s hard to find pants that fit. And don’t tell me to work out. I promise you, no matter what I eat or how much I exercise, this is my shape. It’s just my body type.”
“Why would I tell you to work out? You have a great body.”
She rolled her eyes. “Please. I know what I am.”
“What does that mean?” Didn’t she get that curves were a big fucking turn-on? Watching an ass jiggle or tits bounce was hot. What man didn’t get hard with a handful of plump flesh?
He’d spent years imagining sweet, innocent Finlay in bed. But now, after a decade of relationships, she’d know exactly what she liked, and that was even hotter.
“It means I have a booty and boobs, and I can only wear certain brands that fit my shape.”
Your shape’s always been my favorite. But he wouldn’t tell her that. Not an hour after she’d run from her wedding. “Other than the jeans, how’re you feeling?”
She tipped her head back. “Nothing’s really sunk in. Well, except the fact I left everyone to deal with the fallout.”
“Go ahead and use my phone.”
She eyed it in the cupholder like it was a rabid animal. “Yeah, okay. Thanks. I’ll text my parents and Willa.” She picked it up. “What’s the passcode?”
“66673.”
As she punched in the numbers, she said, “That’s random.”
“Not really. It spells out moose. I’ve had it since high school.” Hopefully, she wouldn’t figure it out. He didn’t see how she would.
“Thanks.” She swiped and started tapping. “I’ll tell them I’m okay, I’m with a friend, and I’ll get in touch in a little bit.” She put it back and slunk lower in her seat. “They’re going to blow up your phone. You know that, right?”
“It’s fine. At least they’ll know you’re alive and well.”
“I know I should be crying my eyes out or…something. But right now, I’m numb.” She lifted her hands. “I mean, literally, I have no feeling in my body at all.” She pulled the waistband of her jeans. “Except here.” She laughed. “This, I feel.”
“We’ll get you something to wear at my dad’s house.” He flicked on his turn signal, braking for the unmarked street that led to his dad’s place deep in the woods. “Do you want to talk about what he did?”
“He didn’t cheat.”
“Yeah, you said that.”
“I did, right? I guess I’m trying to minimize it.” She pressed her hands over her stomach. “I found out he’s got a daughter. Like, literally five minutes before I walked down the aisle.”
“So he hid the fact that he had a kid?”
“Yes. He did. He said he only found out three months ago. That his ex called out of the blue and told him they had a child.”
“But he didn’t tell you?” What an asshole. “Isn’t that something you share with the person you’re going to spend your life with?”
“Exactly. And I know a lot of people will say it’s not a reason to end a relationship. They’ll think I have a problem raising some other woman’s child.”
“That’s not the point.”
“No, it’s not. But I should’ve handled it better. Like you said, it’s a small town, and everyone’s going to talk about what I did. They’re going to think I’m a fool for walking away from a good man just because he was still processing the fact that he had a child.”
“Well, who was he processing with? It sure as hell wasn’t the woman he planned on marrying. For three months, he’s talked to you, brushed teeth next to you, and made plans with you, and the entire time, he was grappling with a huge secret. How can you ever trust him again?”
“And just like that”—she snapped her fingers—“feeling came back into my body.”
“I think you’ll be surprised how many people will agree with you. Who wants a lifetime of trust issues?”
“You’re exactly right. I can’t marry a man who hides things from me. We need to be a team, to handle things together.”
“What was his reason for keeping it from you?” Sounded manipulative to him.
“I don’t know. We didn’t get that far. I hate that he was going to put a ring on my finger before telling me, but at the same time, I can’t help but wonder why he felt he had to deal with it alone.”
“He didn’t. He’s been handling it with her.”
Finlay winced, slapping a hand to her heart.
“Oof. You’re right. Oh man, that hurts.” She stared ahead, unseeing.
“All this time, he’s been talking to his ex.
They got a paternity test and discussed the results together.
” She went quiet, staring at her laced fingers.
“No, I can never trust him again.” As he drove down his dad’s long driveway, she sat up. “Is this where you grew up?”
“Pretty much. We moved here when I was twelve.”
She shifted in her seat to take in the view from all directions. “Teenage me is dying right now.”
“What do you mean?”
She let out a laugh. “I used to dream about coming home with you, hanging out with your brothers and your dad.”
He’d always admired her courage, and this confession was exactly why. Because she owned her truth. She’d had a crush on him. She’d fantasized about him, and she wasn’t afraid to let him know.
Unlike me. Maybe, if he got to spend more time with her, he’d tell her exactly what he’d once thought of her.
Yeah, maybe he would.
She leaned forward. “It’s beautiful. You must’ve loved growing up out here with your brothers.”
“I did.” As kids, they’d used every square inch of the property to go fly-fishing, build forts, and run wild.
“Hey, Mister?” Cody called.
“Yeah?”
“When are we getting my bike? I don’t see a store.”
“You’re right. There’s no store here. This is my dad’s house, where I grew up. We’ve got a whole garage filled with bikes.”
“Why?”
“Why do we have so many bicycles?” In the rearview mirror, he watched the kid nod. “Because I have three brothers.”
“And I can have one of their bikes?”
He caught the brightness in the boy’s eyes. “Yes. Any one you want.”
You just can’t ride it because it’s winter, and there’s three feet of snow on the ground.
“Thank you.” His feet kicked out in a show of excitement.
“You’re welcome.” As he rounded the bend, his dad’s home appeared. The view never ceased to impress him, and he knew Finlay felt it, too, when her lips parted, and awe flared in her eyes.
The stone-and-timber house was set in a grassy valley with a backdrop of the towering Teton Range.
He’d added on a lot over the years, so the original rustic cabin had become a sprawling lodge-like home.
Given the remote location and weather, it was pretty self-contained, with a big game room and an indoor pool.
“This place is amazing.”
“Wait till you see it without snow on the ground. The meadow’s filled with wildflowers.” He had no idea why he’d just said that, considering she’d never get to see it.
She had a life to get back to.
Very soon, she’d be gone, and he’d be alone with this kid.
And he didn’t know which scared him more, stepping up to take care of Marco’s son…
Or losing her.