Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
He’d known this time was coming, yet he wanted her to stay. Not for the boy.
For me.
Because he finally knew what it felt like to touch her, kiss her.
Aw, hell.
But he had to let her go. Both of their lives were too complicated.
When he stepped onto the porch, he found her in a heated conversation with a man he assumed was her fiancé, while Cody made snowballs nearby and hurled them at a tree trunk.
“I messed up, and I’m sorry,” her fiancé said. “But I’m not like you. You need to talk everything out. I had to wrap my head around it before I told you.”
What? That wasn’t how she worked at all. She got quiet and introspective. She had to figure things out on her own first.
“But you did talk, Matt.” Finlay’s tone was calm and rational. “You talked to your ex.”
“Yeah, of course, I did. What other choice did I have? I needed answers. I needed to know why she kept Chloe from me for five years.”
Jude had no business listening in on the conversation, so he headed over to the boy. Jesus, it was cold out there. But the kid didn’t seem to mind. “You ready for that cocoa?”
Cody’s gaze darted to Finlay. “Can Miss O’Neill come?”
“Well, she’s talking to someone right now. But when she’s done, she can.”
“I want to wait.”
Boone peered out from the garage, holding up a box. “Anyone down for a popsicle before we ride bikes?”
“I want one.” After a lingering look at Finlay, the boy trudged over.
“Nice,” Jude said quietly to his brother. “Maybe you should adopt him.”
“Oh, hell no. I’m the funcle.”
“The what?”
“The fun uncle.”
After they each grabbed a Fudgsicle—his dad’s favorite—they watched Cody gape at all the big toys.
The large space housed a snowplow, a Ford F-150, his dad’s convertible for nice weather, and a boat for the section of Lake Calamity that sat on his property. Even with all that, it still had plenty of space for Cody to ride.
His dad and Wyatt joined them, grabbing popsicles.
The way that little boy stood among the four of them solidified something in Jude.
He couldn’t explain it, but he just knew he had to protect this boy.
If the judge gave him any shit, he’d get right back in his face and let him know the McKennas would bring him into the fold. Keep him safe. Loved.
I’m not just the only man for the job. I’m the right one.
When Finlay’s voice came closer, he grew distracted. He’d never heard her teach, but he imagined she’d sound just like this—steady, strong, and brooking no argument. He’d have liked to have been in her class.
Though he’d probably have stared at her tits too much. And instead of listening, he’d have imagined skimming his hand up her thigh, under her skirt, his fingertips brushing her bare pussy.
Would she be wet for him if he pulled her into the pantry and touched her?
Desire surged through him hard and fast.
You’ve got to stop this shit.
Her voice grew louder as she walked her ex to his car. “I’m sorry this happened to you, Matt. I really am. I can’t imagine finding out I had a child. But you decided to tell me about it after we got married, and there’s just no coming back from that.”
“Look, I don’t know what else you want me to do, but you don’t bail on me the first time we have a problem.
That’s not how marriages work. Maybe it’s because your parents are divorced, and you don’t have a good example of how to handle problems, but mine were together till my dad died.
They never once considered breaking up. That’s the kind of marriage I want. ”
“Well, then, you’d better learn how to communicate, because no one’s going to put up with a man who withholds life-changing information until after she’s legally bound to you.”
“It’s not like that, and you know it.”
“That’s exactly how it played out, so don’t pretend otherwise.
But I’ll tell you what I do know. For three months, you talked about barstools for the kitchen island when the entire time you were struggling with something huge.
I’m not going to spend the rest of my life wondering if you’re hiding something or what piece of information you’re choosing to withhold.
I’m sorry, Matt, but you’ve lost all credibility. ”
“You’re seriously talking to me about credibility right now? You left the wedding on the back of some dude’s motorcycle. You spent the night with some other guy.”
“He’s a friend. And believe me, after the news I got yesterday, I needed one.”
“Come on, Finlay.” The man tipped his head back, a burst of white fog shooting out of his mouth. “I’ve been nothing but a good partner to you. I’m sorry if I got thrown sideways and didn’t handle it the way you wanted, but you’re really not going to forgive me?”
“At some point, I’ll forgive you. But that’s not the issue. I’ll never completely trust you. So no, I’m not marrying you.”
The man let out a deep sigh. “You know what? I’m glad we didn’t work out. You want some kind of Prince Charming, and no one can live up to your expectations. Forget it.” He reached to open the door. “I’ll tell the realtor we’re selling the house.”
“Wait.” For the first time, Finlay sounded frantic. “Don’t do that. Not yet.”
“Why?” Matt asked. “Why would you even want to live there by yourself? It’s a family neighborhood. That’s no place for a single woman. Besides, I paid half the down payment. You’d have to buy me out, and you don’t have that kind of money.”
“I’m well aware of my financial situation, but I’m asking for a little time to figure things out. Can you just do this one thing for me? You owe me that.”
“You’d seriously live there alone? Without me?” The man’s voice cracked.
For the first time, Jude felt bad for the guy. He was an asshole, no doubt about it. But he was losing Finlay.
Big loss.
Huge.
He’d never find anyone like her again.
“You just blew up my life. I don’t know what I’m going to do five seconds from now, let alone five years. I can’t think straight, which is why I want you to leave things alone. Give me a minute to calm down and think clearly. Can you do that for me?”
“Sure.” Emotion died in the man’s eyes. “I’ll give you till after Christmas, but then, I’m calling the realtor.”
He got in his car and drove off, leaving Finlay alone on the driveway, staring after him.
Jude had to stop himself from pulling her into his arms. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn’t think she’d welcome his touch right then—even one meant to be platonic.
Well, let’s be honest. It’s never been platonic between us.
He didn’t know how to help her, only that he had to do something. “You want a Fudgsicle?”
She looked at him like he was speaking a foreign language. And then, when she saw all of them licking away, she burst out laughing. “You know what? That’s exactly what I want.”
“Is he right, though?” Finlay lay on the bed, gazing up at the ceiling. “Was he my Prince Charming?” The room smelled a bit like feet, and the mattress had a dip in it. Which was confusing because the Wild Rose Inn and Saloon had always been the best hotel in Calamity.
“Maybe.” Willa stretched out beside her, digging into a bag of Moose Munch. She only liked the chocolate-covered nuts and left all the kettle corn behind. “He sure looks like one.”
With his dark hair and medium build, Matt had classic good looks. He ran six days a week, detailed his car once a month, and had weekly get-togethers with his frat brothers from the University of Western Wyoming.
“Well, it fits because Cinderella didn’t even know the prince,” Finlay continued.
“She had one dance with him and bam! He’s the one.
Same with Snow White. She’s basically dead, and the dude revives her with a kiss.
When she opens her eyes, boom, there’s her soulmate.
I mean, seriously, isn’t that what Matt was for me?
He walked right off my vision board. He checked all the boxes. ”
Not like Jude. Who was dark and menacing.
Except not when he’s with me.
With me, he’s sweet and protective.
Generous, loyal, and kind.
And a really good kisser.
The memory of his hungry mouth sent a hot current through her body, making her restless.
I kissed Jude McKenna.
And it was so, so good. He wasn’t tentative and careful. He wasn’t being gentlemanly like Matt always was.
No, he’d grabbed the back of her neck. He’d plundered her mouth. He’d taken what was his.
No, I’m not his. I know that.
I do.
But God. The way he’d cupped her breast so possessively, like he’d longed to do it for ages and had finally gotten a handful.
Well, more than a handful. Let’s be honest. His palm pressed over her nipple…
She’d felt his restraint, and it had made her desperate to be naked with him when he lost control. She wanted it rough, hard, wild.
She just knew it would be like that with him.
He’d given her a taste, and she wanted more. She wanted Jude McKenna unleashed.
“That’s extremely insightful for someone who’s had two and a half peach wine coolers.
And I’m sure it’s true for all of us.” Willa had grabbed snacks from the convenience store on her way to pick her up from Jude’s house.
But she had a flight in the morning and needed to go right to the office to catch up on work, so she wasn’t drinking much.
But this conversation was helping. Because fantasizing about Jude: Bad. Figuring out what went wrong with Matt: Good. “He thinks I’m being unreasonable. Like, you know, everyone makes mistakes. No one’s perfect. I should forgive him and move on.”
“Honestly?” Willa said. “I don’t care what he thinks.”
Ha. Fair. Still, she had to probe a little deeper. Root out every shred of doubt. “I’m sure he has a million things he can’t stand about me, but he’s willing to get past them. Why can’t I do the same for him?”
“Oh, for sure. I’m surprised he’s put up with you this long.” Willa held up her free hand. “You have no athletic ability at all.” Her pointer finger folded after revealing the first flaw.
“Excuse me?” Finlay swiveled her head to stare at her friend.
“Remember when we tried out for softball, and you ran your little heart out to first base all while peeing your pants?”
Finlay burst out laughing. “That’s because you were making fun of the way I ran, and I was laughing so hard a little bit of pee came out. Also, I’d just had a Gatorade. And anyway, how is that a flaw?”
“Bladder control issues. And your cooking? That’s another thing.” Willa set another finger down.
“Well.” While she couldn’t argue with that one, she felt compelled to try. “I make grilled cheese sandwiches. And quesadillas.” Unsuccessfully, but she got an A for effort, right?
“You literally only bake things. When have you ever made an actual meal?”
“I don’t like meat.” And she hated preparing it. It was the raw muscle of an animal. “And what even are vegetables?”
“Uh, the bounty of nature, that’s what.”
“Okay, but do you strip bark off a tree and steam it? Do you stuff a handful of grass in your mouth and call it salad? What’s grown in the earth—”
“Gets peed on by bugs and four-legged creatures,” Willa said.
“I know. You’ve said it a million times.
You like baked goods. But Matt’s a beer-and-steak kind of guy.
What kind of life is that for him? ‘Honey, I’m home.
’” She lowered her voice to sound like a dude.
“‘What’s for dinner?’” She raised her pitch to say, “‘I made yummy brownies and cinnamon rolls.’”
Finlay laughed. “That’s fair.”
“And don’t get me started with your craft shit.” Willa lowered another finger. “Girl, you leave glitter everywhere. I don’t think I’ve ever come home from visiting you without finding it in my suitcase or under my fingernails.”
“That is a problem.”
“Oh. Oh.” Willa got excited and hiked up on an elbow to roll over and face her. “And what about your laugh? Birds scatter. Dogs hide under the bed, and little children clutch their mommy’s legs.”
“Hey. I can’t help how I laugh.” When her friend broke out in shrieking laughter, her mouth stretched impossibly wide, Finlay whacked her. “Okay, now, you’re being mean.”
“Oh, come on.” Willa leaned in and smacked a kiss on her cheek. “Everyone loves your laugh, and you know it. It’s one of the best things about you. You let it rip. Free and unfettered. It’s awesome. My point is your ‘flaws’ aren’t even in the same ballpark as Matt’s.”
“He said my expectations aren’t realistic.”
“Yeah, well, he can go screw himself.” Willa reared up, snatched the plastic bag off the floor, and began tossing empty cans and wrappers into it.
“You know how I feel about this. We run from anyone who tells us to lower our standards. We hold out for what we want. Now, we’ve got Malibu Barbie cocktails with our names on them waiting for us at Wild Billy’s.
You want to fix yourself up, or are we going like feral women who just raw-dogged six days in the wilderness? ”
That was not going to happen. She hadn’t told Willa—or anyone—about the kiss.
She was holding on to it like a gift. Or a dirty secret.
It’s mine. But her friend knew all about her childhood crush, so she’d understand.
“Jude’s working the bar tonight, so I want to look as fine as wine.
” She cringed. “That’s bad, right? Two days ago, I was getting married, and now, I’m glamming up for some guy I knew in high school? ” Who touched my boob last night.
“You know the old saying.” Willa swung her legs off the bed. “The only way to get over Prince Charming is to get under a bad boy.”