Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Finlay went up to her room. She needed space. She needed to think.
But she couldn’t work this one out on her own so she called her best friend.
Willa answered on the first ring. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.” She didn’t hear noises in the background, so it was true. “You really are alone today?”
“Oh, I had plans, but everything blew up, and if I don’t get this case back on track, they’ll fire me—even though it’s not my fault. Are you having a good time with the McKennas?”
“Well, that’s the thing.” She paced to the window and looked down at her backyard. It was a perfectly square lot, with plenty of room for the swing set Jude would build in the spring. “I’m about to blow my life up.”
“Okay. Am I pulling the pin or snatching the grenade out of your hands?”
Good question. “I’ve been thinking a lot about my parents, and how I tiptoe around them. I take the crumbs they offer and say thank you. And…I think I’m done doing that.”
“So we’re lobbing it.”
“I think so, but before I do it, I need to think it through. Make a list of pros and cons.”
“I think it’s less about the number in each column and more about the quality, because doing it will empower you.”
Just hearing her friend say it out loud gave her a punch of determination.
“And not doing it will keep you in limbo,” her friend continued. “But, really, Fee, what’s the worst thing that could happen?”
Her parents wouldn’t disown her. She wasn’t worried about that. “The worst? If I tell them, and they just keep doing what they’re doing, then I’ll know I don’t matter.”
“And that’ll hurt, for sure. But—”
“It already hurts. And I’m done with the status quo.”
“There you go.”
“I love you, Willa.”
“I love you, too. Let me know how it goes.”
She pressed a hand to the cold glass, wanting to anchor herself in the moment. It felt so monumental, like there’d be a before and an after. Right then, she at least had parents. But challenging them, calling them out… Well, it could mean losing them altogether.
But what do I have? Her mom hadn’t even gone to her engagement party.
Okay, I’m going to do it. She called her mom first. That would be the easiest, since she wouldn’t try to play her. She’d cut to the chase, whereas her dad would cajole and make light of the situation.
Aw, you know I love ya, kid.
No, Dad. I really don’t.
But it was no surprise that neither answered their phones. It wasn’t even a letdown—that was how accustomed she was to her parents not taking her calls. Sure, her mom was working, and her dad was very likely at a party telling a story. He probably had no clue his phone was ringing.
But that was the thing. Neither of her parents was thinking about her on Christmas Day. She pulled up the family chat.
Finlay: Merry Christmas!
She had to get her thoughts together, get the right tone so it didn’t sound like she was throwing a tantrum. She didn’t want to sound bitter or angry. Just speak from the heart.
Finlay: Mom, you said something to me the other day, about how I swapped one family for another. And I suppose it looks like that, but I really do care about Jude.
Ugh. You’re rambling.
No, actually, she was getting to her point.
Finlay: You said you know I need to be part of a big family, like that was a negative thing, but you know what? I want it so badly because I grew up with one that gave me the bare minimum.
Oh, maybe she was a little angry.
Finlay: And now that I’m making Christmas magic for a little boy who’s not even mine, and being welcomed into a family I just met, I can see how very little you both did to make me feel special. I didn’t even need much. I certainly didn’t ask for much.
You know what? This feels good.
Finlay: In any event, I’m done making myself small for both of you. I’m done being convenient.
Oh yes. This is what I want to say.
Finlay: I love you both very much, but here I am, spending yet another Christmas with a family that’s not mine—no call from either of you, no real attempt to make plans. So going forward, if you want a relationship with me, the ball’s in your court.
She didn’t just hit Send. She punched it.
And damn, it felt good.
The laughter and conversation drew her back downstairs. The cinnamon-scented air made her stomach growl.
Even before she hit the living room, her dad texted back.
Dad: Heard. On my way. Text me the address again.
Well, look at that. That was all it had taken. She smiled.
My dad’s spending Christmas with me.
After a feast of prime rib, Yorkshire pudding, and roasted carrots and potatoes, Finlay sat back in her seat, Jude’s arm slung across her shoulders. She liked the way he kept his hands on her. It let her know he wanted her, was thinking about her.
They just fit, and she’d never had that with anyone before.
As always, everyone was laughing and having a great time. Especially Jude. He wasn’t acting like his usual dark and broody, observant self. Like he was an outsider.
“Someone’s wiped out.” She smiled at Cody, who was having a hard time keeping his eyes open.
“I’ll put him to bed.” Jude leaned over and whispered in the boy’s ear. “Hey, buddy. Need to close your eyes for a few minutes?”
The boy’s head wobbled in his attempt to shake it. “I want to stay here.”
“How about you stay here and close your eyes?”
“Okay.”
When Jude lifted him onto his lap, the boy collapsed against his chest. In about five seconds, he was out cold, his body boneless.
It was the sweetest sight, how well they were bonding.
Her phone vibrated, so she peeked at the screen—but only because her dad still hadn’t shown up yet. But no, it was just a spam text.
She had to get her parents out of her mind. This is nothing new.
“So what’s the plan?” Wyatt asked, looking at Cody.
“Carlo’s attorney’s going to get started on the adoption papers, and we’ll talk on January second.”
“That must give him so much peace of mind,” Finlay said. “To know his grandson’s in good hands.”
“I told him we’ll find a place for him to live right near us,” Jude said. “We want him to stay as involved as he wants.”
“My heart is full,” Ava said. “This makes me happy.”
“And what about you two?” Boone wagged a finger between them.
“Don’t do that,” Wyatt said quietly.
“Do what?” Boone asked. “It’s a legit question. They’re obviously together. She’s more than a nanny.”
“Why don’t we let them figure that out,” Ava said. “It’s new.”
“It doesn’t feel new.” Jude seemed surprised he’d said it out loud, but he didn’t back off. “I’ve wanted her more than half my life. Even when I moved away, she was still in here.” He looked at Finlay. “You’ve owned my heart since I was eleven. It doesn’t feel new at all. It’s inevitable.”
She almost couldn’t believe he was saying these things.
It was like every teenage fantasy of him she’d ever had come to life.
“It does.” It struck her—why she’d settled for a love like Matt’s.
She’d been grateful to find someone who wanted to do the same things she did.
She’d appreciated his interest because it was so much more focused than anything her parents had given her.
But with Jude… My God, what a gift.
I deserve this kind of love.
“Hey, man,” Boone teased. “This is the singles table. The sappy couple table’s in the kitchen. Go on, get out of here.”
“You taking over Wild Billy’s?” Wyatt asked.
“Yeah, looks like it.” Jude turned to her for confirmation, as if she had a say in it.
She could only nod. Did she have a say in what he did? Is that where we are?
“Okay, cool.” Wyatt nodded. “So you’re not moving.”
“Things’ve obviously gone to hell without me here, so no, I’m not going anywhere.” Jude’s gaze hit Boone, then Wyatt. “Gotta keep you two assholes in line.”
“Hey.” Boone snatched a bread roll and tossed it at Jude.
Jude reached to catch it, but it glanced off the side of the Snowfest first-place trophy that sat in the center of the table and hit Cody’s head. “Thanks for making my point.”
Cody woke up and rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes. “What hit me?”
“It was a roll.” Jude shot his brother a chastising look. “Uncle Boone thought he was funny, but he’s not. We don’t do things like that, do we? That’s not acceptable—” In a flash, Jude rose out of his seat, clutching Cody, and stuffed the soft roll down Boone’s black T-shirt.
Cody cracked up.
“You did not want to do that.” Boone grabbed a prime rib bone off his plate and waved it threateningly.
“Okay, cave man,” Jude said. “What’re you going to do with that?”
Holding the bone aloft, Boone’s other arm whipped low, and he snatched the last Yorkshire pudding popover out of the basket and sent it flying out.
“Credit for deflection,” Wyatt said. “I didn’t see that coming.”
“Can we have a nice meal for once?” his dad called. “It’s Christmas.”
Ava clapped her hands and stood. “Game time.” The guys froze. “Bring me five things that begin with the letter R. You have five minutes. Winner gets five home-cooked dinners.”
All three brothers took off. Gunnar watched, shaking his head while fighting a grin.
“Hey, you don’t need food,” Finlay called to Jude. “I make you a home-cooked meal most nights.”
“Yeah, exactly.” Jude held Cody tightly. “We’d better win, buddy. Am I right?”
“Excuse me?” But she was laughing. He wasn’t wrong.
Cody’s legs were kicking as if he were riding a horse, urging Jude to hurry up. “Come on. Hurry.” His grin stretched wide across his face, eyes lit up with happiness.
It was the best thing she’d ever seen. Jude and Cody were so right together.
His brothers were calling out each item they found: “Ribbon, Rope, Rice…”
Ava shouted, “You went right past the reindeer,” but Jude had a clear target. He grabbed the little basket of rocks Cody had collected as a gift to Wyatt and brought it back to the table.
“Done in two minutes.” He lifted Cody’s arm, and they celebrated their easy win.
His brothers came over with their arms full. Boone stared at the basket. “Why do you always do that?”
“Why don’t you learn to do the same thing already?” Jude asked.
The doorbell rang, and everyone quieted down.
“Who’s that?” Gunnar asked.
She checked her phone.
Dad: Here.
“It’s my dad.” She practically jumped out of her chair and ran for the door. When she threw it open, her heart flipped over. He came. He’s here.
He stood there, tall, burly, his cheeks red, lips chapped from the cold. “Hey, kiddo.”
“Hey, Dad. Come on in.” It worked. I can’t believe he’s here. “You’re just in time for dessert.”
“Yeah, I don’t have a lot of time. I have to get back. We’ve got a couple of movie stars in town, and they’re talking about having me set up a pro tournament here next summer. But I wanted to talk to you.” He stepped inside and cupped her elbows. “Can we go somewhere private?”
“Sure. Let me introduce you to everyone.” She led him to the dining room table that was now strewn with rocks, a radio, raspberries, running shoes, ribbon, and rope. “Dad, this is the McKenna family.” She took hold of his arm. “This is my dad, Buck O’Neill.”
The men stood and shook her dad’s hand.
“You wouldn’t believe why I’m late. A big ole bison decided to hang out right there on 191, holding up traffic. Brought his buddies out, too.” He grabbed a popover from the basket and took a big bite. “Hope you don’t mind if I steal my little girl away for a minute.”
“Not at all,” Ava said, and instead of sitting back down, everyone got busy clearing the table for dessert.
The garage would be too cold, so she led him into the mudroom. “Is everything all right?”
“I don’t know. You tell me. Your mom and I talked about that text you sent. I figured I’d talk to you after the holidays, but I don’t think I can wait that long. Had to come over and say my piece.”
“Your piece? I thought…” So he wasn’t spending Christmas with her? “I don’t understand.”
“Look, it’s your life, and I’ll never tell you what to do,” her dad said. “But I’m looking from the outside in, and it sure looks like you traded your problems for someone else’s.”
“Dad, no.” Finlay let out an exasperated breath. “It’s not like that at all.”
“You’re living in the house you bought with Matt, only you swapped him out for some dude with a kid that’s not even his.”
“He’s not some dude. Dad, I care about him. He’s a great guy.”
“Well, hang on. I’m not saying I have a problem with Jude. He seems like an okay guy. Nice family. But you’ve got to check yourself here, Finny. Make sure you’re not getting carried away with the fantasy of a family. Because that kid is not yours. You’re just the nanny, right?”
“I mean, that’s how it started, yes. But it’s not like that anymore. I have real feelings for Jude, and I know he feels the same way.”
“Okay, but we’re talking about a single guy who just got custody of a kid. And he conveniently has a schoolteacher around to help him out. Hon, you just ran from your wedding. This is a time of crisis for both of you. Emotions are running high. I’m just saying, it doesn’t feel real to me.”
“I can’t believe you’re saying this to me. You think I’m not smart enough to know the difference between reality and fantasy? That I’m so lost I’d let myself be manipulated by a guy who’s afraid of being a single dad? Is that really what you think of me?”
“Now, take it easy. I’m here because I love you, and your mom and I are worried.
Keep in mind, I’ve got no skin in this game.
All I want is for you to be happy, and this looks like a recipe for disaster.
” Her dad reached for the back door. “I have to get back to the party, but let’s you and me go out to dinner tomorrow night.
We’ll talk more, and I promise to make more of an effort, sweet pea. Hate that you don’t feel loved.”
Before he could open it, Jude stepped into the mud room. “It’s real for me.”
Both of them swung around. Oh God. How much had he heard?
“My feelings for your daughter have nothing to do with raising Cody. I’m not afraid to adopt him by myself, but even if I were, I have three brothers, a dad, and the woman who raised me helping out.
I don’t need Finlay for that. I need her because I’m falling in love with her.
Make no mistake, whether I get to adopt Cody or not, I want to be with your daughter. ”