Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Jude couldn’t sleep.
The house was quiet. Fee was asleep and draped over him. Everything was fine.
Except it wasn’t. Something was different. He knew her. Knew the faraway look in her eyes when she was troubled, the pout of her lips when she was lost in thought. She was smart, thoughtful, and plugged in, so when she’d put the milk next to the cereal in the pantry, he’d known she was distracted.
He wasn’t worried about what Fee’s dad said—they’d talked about it, and she’d assured him she wouldn’t take advice from parents who hardly even knew her.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Because the man’s logic was indisputable. From an outsider’s perspective, it did look like Fee had latched on to Jude’s problems to avoid facing her own. She had jumped right in to help him with Cody.
He knew in his heart they were meant to be together, but maybe she needed time to make peace with her past relationship and clear some space for the new one.
He just didn’t know.
A shaft of moonlight spilled across her naked body, highlighting her sexy thigh, and all that silky dark hair splayed across his chest. Her scent filled him, kicking up visceral memories of hearing her laughter, catching her hand in his while taking a family walk, and sitting quietly on the couch with her feet in his lap as they watched a movie.
Just a few hours ago, she’d ridden him with abandon, her hair brushing his thighs, her full tits bouncing. At the memory, desire ignited into lust, and he rolled onto his side, burying his face in her neck and just breathing her in. She stirred, making a sexy “mmm” sound.
His fingers skimmed her collarbone, landing on the plump rise of her breast. The nipple hardened, and he shifted lower so he could taste the hot little bead.
“Jude,” she whispered, her fingernails scraping across his scalp.
He cupped her jaw, forcing her to look at him. “Are we okay?” He needed to know.
“Yes. Of course.”
He swallowed her breathy voice with a kiss he hoped would banish any doubt she had, any ugly thought her parents put into her head. And it seemed to work.
In the darkest part of the night, the only sounds the rustle of sheets and the gasps and sighs of the woman he loved with all his heart, he knew he’d found bliss.
Threading their fingers together, he raised her arms over her head, nudged her legs open, and rocked against her opening.
She was wet and hot, and after a few easy thrusts, he slid deep inside.
Every cell in his body burst like champagne bubbles. He lowered his arms, so his chest brushed over hers. He wanted to feel her plush tits and hear her breathy sighs.
“I love you.” He took his time with slow, sensuous glides in and out of her slick heat. His heart thundered, and blood roared in his ears. “I love you so much.”
Stay with me.
Don’t leave me.
She wrenched her hands free to grip his ass, drawing him tighter to her. Her back arched, and she met his hips with frantic thrusts. “Jude. I love you. I love you. I love you.”
She wanted more, faster, and he gave it to her. He drove into her so hard that she had to brace her palms on the headboard. He reached under her, hiking up her ass and shifting the angle of friction, until she cried out. Fiery sparks ignited, and she gushed all over his swollen cock. “Jude.”
Hearing her cry out his name like that drove him past the point of return. Spasms wracked his body as one climax after another had his hips twisting, punching, and writhing, sending his spirit soaring into euphoria.
When the shudders stopped, his thrusts slowed, turned lazy, and he lingered inside her. It just felt so delicious, so good.
Finally, he settled back down beside her, pulling her close. Peace enveloped him, and he started to doze. Nothing felt as good as having a sated, warm Finlay boneless and satisfied in his arms.
He could handle her needing some time alone. He could handle her needing space. He’d understand that.
But he didn’t think he’d survive her walking away.
When Finlay woke up, she had to shut her eyes against the light flooding into the bedroom.
She still wasn’t used to sleeping in so late, but Jude was just so passionate. He wore her out in the best way. Though, really, she didn’t know what she’d do when school started back up again.
The chilly air had her pulling up the blanket, which made her realize her human heating pad was not wrapped around her. Her eyelids popped open to find Jude was gone.
Wow. She must’ve been out cold not to even notice Cody coming in, asking for breakfast. She thought of Jude in his gray sweatpants, hanging low on his hips, shirtless at the stove, as he flipped pancakes and chatted while the little boy stood on a chair at his side, and all she wanted was to be there with them.
Well, really, she wanted to run her hands all over that beautiful ink and kiss the silly moose tattoo with the floppy antlers. He did that for me.
She could hardly believe it. All the years spent thinking it was an unrequited crush—when he’d been feeling it, too.
Wanting to see him, she quickly got out of bed and pulled on her pajamas. She shoved her feet into her slippers and headed down the hallway.
As expected, Cody’s bed was empty, but she didn’t smell melting butter or pancakes. Curious, she headed downstairs. Colored lights twinkled on the tree, and the basket of pinecones by the hearth filled the house with the scent of cinnamon.
It was all just so lovely and perfect.
On the dining room table, she found a note.
Fee,
Took Cody snowboarding with the family. Thought you could use a day off. You’ve been working so hard—take a spa day! Ava will be over around ten to go with you.
Miss you already,
J
Next to it was a stack of bills. He’d left her money to go to the spa.
Her heart shriveled. She didn’t know why the note hurt her feelings. Maybe because he hadn’t included her in the “family’s” plans? No, that wasn’t fair. The brothers were allowed to do things on their own. And it was good for Cody to bond with them.
It was just…what did he mean by a day off? That was something you’d say to a nanny. Not a girlfriend or a lover. The wording was just…off-putting.
In fact, the whole thing made her uneasy. Since when do I do spa days?
But also, this was Cody’s first time on the slopes. She didn’t want to miss that.
Just stop. You’re overreacting.
It’s fine.
In the kitchen, she found a pot of coffee keeping warm, a bowl in the sink, and dust from cereal on the counter.
She filled her I love my teacher mug, dumped a little too much caramel macchiato creamer, which she did when she was upset—sugar was her happy pill—sue me—and then wandered to the mudroom and glanced out at the snow-covered backyard.
She took a sip, letting the buttery caramel and creamy sweetness comfort her. When had he made these plans? He’d never mentioned them.
And why didn’t he wake me up? He could’ve at least asked if I wanted to go.
Cold seeped in, and she wished she’d thrown on a sweatshirt or a robe. But it woke her fully, and she got a stab of fear when she remembered they’d said “I love you” to each other.
That was a big deal.
It’s huge.
But it was in the heat of the moment, so maybe it didn’t count?
Or maybe it scared him, and that was why he’d taken off?
The fear spread at an alarming rate, invading her entire body. Because that would be so like him to shut down after they got really close.
Oh, stop it. You’re looking for trouble. She headed back into the kitchen, grabbed a sponge, and cleaned up the cereal dust.
Rinsed out the coffee pot.
Unloaded the dishwasher. As she stacked the plates, she realized she hated them.
They were too formal and not her taste at all.
As soon as they’d closed on the house, Matt’s mom began sending all kinds of basic household items. Trash bins that matched the tissue boxes and soap dishes. A cute lacquered tray for the ottoman.
That was really nice of her. She’d thanked her at the time, of course. Mrs. Jones had been nothing but kind. She’d welcomed Finlay into her life and done everything she could to give them a beautiful wedding and a good start as a married couple.
And since running from the wedding, I haven’t reached out to her. None of this is her fault.
I’ll call her and thank her for everything.
It was just that none of this stuff was her style. Not to be ungrateful—she truly appreciated Mrs. Jones’s generosity—but where am I in this place?
And if she were really honest, she only got the house because of her. It wasn’t like they’d toured a bunch of homes and chosen this one. It had just become available, and they’d grabbed it. But if she’d had her choice, she’d have preferred the blue Craftsman up the street.
Back in the mudroom, she swept the dirt and grit and found a pair of Cody’s socks sticking out of his sneakers, so she tossed them into the washing machine and got a load going. As she was folding the clothes, her phone buzzed with a text message.
Ava: I’m here! Hope you’re ready to get pampered.
She looked at the neatly folded stacks. Jude’s. Cody’s. Hers. It felt so completely right. Like in her gut, she knew she was exactly where she needed to be, yet…
Everything was wrong.
As she crossed the living room to let Ava in, she realized none of the furniture was hers. Not a single thing. In fact, other than her clothes and the I love my teacher mug, nothing was hers.
I know you want to be part of a big family.
Her mom was right about that. But did she want it so badly that she’d disappear into anyone’s world? Like, if it hadn’t been the McKennas, would she have dived right in?
She’d stepped right into Matt’s life, and she’d done it again with Jude’s.
You’ve got to check yourself here, Finny. Make sure you’re not getting carried away with the fantasy of a family.
Her dad was right. She had gotten carried away with the fantasy of Jude’s big, loving, generous, fun family.
He was right to be worried. She had traded her problems for Jude’s.
She let Ava in. “Morning.”
The smile fell right off her friend’s face. “Oh. You’re not ready to go?”
“I just woke up. Haven’t even had a chance to finish my coffee.” She started back for the kitchen. “Come on in. Want a cup?”
“Sure.” Ava sounded hesitant but followed her.
Of course, the coffee maker was empty, the pot drying in the rack. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m not used to sleeping so late. I’m a little out of it. Let me make a fresh one.”
“No, no.” Ava moved to the machine Gunnar had bought. “I’ll just use this.” She sorted through the basket full of pods and found one. “Are you looking forward to your spa day?”
“To be honest, I’ve never had one.”
“Never had a massage?”
Finlay shook her head. The window over the sink looked right at the fence between her and her neighbor’s yard. She didn’t like that. She’d rather look at the backyard.
“Oh, you’ll love it. Gunnar used to spoil me with them when I worked for him. He always gave spa gift cards as my holiday bonus.”
Finlay glanced back at the dining room table to the neat pile of cash.
I did exactly what Jude warned me about. I blurred the lines.
And look at me now. Two nannies drinking coffee and getting ready to enjoy the holiday bonus from their employers.
“Ava, I don’t…this is not…” She couldn’t even finish her sentence.
Because it seemed that, finally, after two and a half weeks of avoiding it, she was about to crash out.