Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16
L uc hated the pain he saw radiating from Charlie’s face, the anger and hurt in her eyes. He’d only been with her for a short time and most of that had been spent in bed, but he knew a lot about her. He paid attention. Charlie was a strong woman. Capable, and stubborn as a mule at times, but she was also caring and sensitive. More than she let people know. But he knew.
She covered a server’s shift even though the woman co-owned the restaurant. It wasn’t beneath her to roll up her sleeves and pitch in for an injured employee. Her friends at karaoke night seemed to run the gambit of personalities yet Charlie had no trouble calling each of those women her friend.
She accepted everyone. Even Crab Apple found a friendly ear on Charlie’s head. When everyone else in class was sick of hearing the old lady complain, Charlie listened with a smile on her face.
A smirk might be the more appropriate term.
It killed him to call her out like this in class, but that’s why she was here. To understand where her anger came from so she could release it. Stop it from controlling her actions. That’s why he was here. To help her. What they did at night had no bearing on the here and now.
Bull!
Damn, maybe it did, but it shouldn’t. He shouldn’t feel this wrenching ache in his chest watching her try to pull back her emotions. Hide them behind the wall of ice and sarcasm she liked to show everyone. He knew how hot she could burn with the right touch. How sweet and honest her body responded to his. This tough girl image she portrayed to the world was just a cover. But he was starting to see through that veil.
Luc sucked in a harsh breath, unsure if that was a good or bad thing. This deal between them appeared to be more complicated than they first thought.
Knowing she’d given him all she would, he moved on to another student. Charlie didn’t speak to him for the rest of the class. Hell, she barely looked at him save for a death glare once or twice. She could be pissed all she wanted, but it was his duty to help her and, dammit, he took that to heart. He was also starting to worry Charlie might be working her way into his heart too.
After class, he tried to catch her for a quick chat, make sure she was okay, but she hurried out of the building like her ass was on fire.
Frustrated with her retreat, he made his way to the hospital and started work. His entire shift, his mind split in two. Half focused on the job and half on Charlie. With every hour he grew more and more concerned. There’d been tears in her eyes, he saw them. But in true Charlie fashion, she’d refused to let them fall.
When his shift ended, he didn’t change, didn’t shower, or eat. He simply got in his car and drove straight to Charlie’s. He had no idea if she’d be home or at Jacks. But he figured he could wait. He’d wait as long as needed because they had to talk. His gut and conscience were eating at him. He needed to check in, make sure she was okay.
Luckily, he didn’t have to wait. As he pulled into her driveway he spotted her car. He turned off his vehicle. Sitting for a moment to gather strength. He knew he would be hitting a wall of resistance, but they needed to talk. Really talk.
Getting out of his car, he made his way up her front steps, knocking on the solid door with a steady hand and a shaky sense of what he wanted to happen. Right now, they were simple, easy. A naughty little secret meant only for them. But if he went in there, demanding answers, asking her to bear not her body, but her soul, it would change things. Did he really want that?
His question was answered the moment the door swung open. Charlie stood there, defiance in those beautiful eyes, a tight clench to her proud jaw. She looked so tough, but beyond that, deep in her gaze, he saw the pain. And he couldn’t turn away.
“What do you want?”
His stomach clenched, chest aching at the snide tone in her voice covering the slight quiver. “I came to see if you were okay.”
She raised a brow. “Are you asking as my group supervisor or my lover?”
Her sass was in full defense mode, but he saw the discomfort behind it.
“I’m asking as someone who cares about you.” Some of the pique left her and he took a step closer. “Charlie, please, let me in.”
Eyes as blue as the sky on a cloudless day glanced up at him. She knew he wasn’t asking for entrance to her home, that was clear in those beautiful eyes. She stepped back, ushering him in as she said, “Fine, but if you laugh at me, I swear, I’m going to cut it off.”
Striding past the door, he closed it and grabbed her hand, tugging her into his arms. He could feel the tremble of her body, but it wasn’t the same as when they were in bed. This quivering was from another emotion. One he hated and wished he could take from her.
“I’d never laugh at you,” he said, kissing her temple softly. A sigh escaped her lips. “And you’d never cut it off. You like it too much.”
She snorted. “It’s okay, I guess.”
Nuzzling her neck, he gently scraped his teeth along the sensitive spot he discovered made her knees weak. Right on cue, she wavered, but he swept her up in his arms and carried her to the living room. Sitting on her small couch, he held her on his lap, enjoying the feel of her warm body. They needed to talk, but for just a moment he wanted to hold her, touch her.
“Okay wasn’t what you screamed last night. I believe your exact words were, ‘Yes, Luc. Right there. Harder, fu—’”
She smashed a hand over his mouth. He chuckled around her fingers, happy to see a genuine smile on her face.
“Okay, okay fine. You have an amazing wonder penis that I would save from a nuclear explosion if necessary. Happy?”
“Doesn’t hurt to hear.” He mumbled around her fingers. When she dropped them, he gazed deeply into her eyes. “Are you okay?”
Her smile dimmed, hand slipping to his jaw, but she nodded. “Yes.”
“I know class was…emotional today and I’m sorry if I made you reveal anything you didn’t want others to know, but it’s important to understand where our anger comes from in order to deal with it. It’s part of the program, Charlie.”
“I know that,” she said softly. Her hand dropped to his chest, fingers absently tracing the buttons on his shirt. “I just…I don’t like getting all emotional and blabbing my problems. It never solves anything.”
“It can help to talk about it. Help you heal.”
She glanced up, doubt and censure heavy in her gaze.
“Why don’t you try it? Tell me about Blain.”
She scoffed. “Right, because every guy loves hearing about his current bang’s ex.”
She was more than just a “bang,” but he had no idea what they were, so he didn’t address that. “Okay, then tell me about Puddles.”
Her face lit up. Joy and love, so achingly apparent he almost felt jealous.
Of a dog.
“He is the sweetest little pug in the history of the world.”
“Pug? Aren’t those the dogs with the smooshed-up noses?”
“Yes, and they’re adorable.”
The glare she gave him dared him to deny it. Since he valued his body and personal property just the way it was, he wisely said nothing.
“Puddles was the reason I started dating Blain. I met him on 16 th street mall one day when I was in Denver. He came right up to me and licked my face.”
He grimaced in horror. “Blain?”
“Puddles,” she laughed.
“Oh, right.”
She shook her head. “Anyway, I mentioned his dog was adorable and he suggested I go to the park with them. Blain seemed like an okay guy, and it was a public area, so I went. We talked and I played with Puddles.” Her face glowed. “He has this rope toy. He loves chasing it when you throw it, but when he brings it back it’s a tug of war to get it out of his little teeth. He’s so cute. I swear he thinks he’s a ninety-pound Doberman instead of a fourteen-pound pug.”
She laid her head against his shoulder, continuing with her story.
“Anyway, one thing led to another, and Blain and I started dating.”
“One thing led to another?”
She shrugged. “He was decent looking, seemed into me, had some hot tattoos.”
“You dated a guy because he had hot tattoos?”
“And an adorable dog.” She held up a finger, bopping him on the nose playfully. “Mostly the dog.”
She could bluff all she wanted, but he knew she had to have some feelings for Blain. Feelings that stung when the bastard cheated on her. Luc hated cheaters. If you don't want to be with someone, just break it off.
“Did you have a pug growing up?” There had to be some reason she felt such a strong connection to the dog.
“No. A mutt. Barlow.” She chuckled softly. “He was smart as dirt, but the sweetest thing ever. Mom didn’t like him sleeping in the house, but he’d whine and whine at the back door until we let him in. He’d come straight to my room and curl up in bed with me.”
“Guard dog,” he nodded.
She outright laughed at that. “Hardly. Anyone with a piece of bacon could become Barlow’s best friend. But he was a sweetheart.”
He tightened his arms around her, sensing an unhappy ending to the family dog. “What happened to him?”
She was silent for a moment. “He ran away. At least, that’s what my brothers told me. But I was a child, not stupid. Barlow always loved chasing cars. He’d run right into the street, barking like they were giant squirrels. Like I said, he wasn’t the smartest dog. I saw the freshly dug patch of dirt behind my mother’s garden. I knew what happened.”
Damn. He’d never had a pet growing up. They could never afford one with his dad’s habit. But he knew how much it sucked to lose someone you loved to something you had no control over.
“I’m sorry.”
“We never got another dog. My dad…died shortly after Barlow—” Her voice quivered. “Anyway, I never got another dog. But I loved Puddles so damn much and I would have gladly paid Blain whatever he wanted. But the asshole sold him to that horrible breeding place.”
She shifted on his lap, reaching her arm down to grab something from under the couch. When she lifted back up, she clutched a ratty piece of rope with a frayed knot in the middle. Puddles rope.
“Blain didn’t even remember his toy. Puddles loved this thing, and I saw it just sitting there next to his stupid gym shoes he never wore because the dick didn’t like working up a sweat.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” He pulled her into his chest, arms tightening around her.
“He needs his toy, Luc. He loves his toy. He has to miss it.”
His damn heart cracked in two as her body shook. Soft sobs muffled against his chest. He knew this wasn’t just about Puddles. Puddles was just the reminder for Charlie of the things in her life she’d lost; Barlow, her father. Shit! His dad may be out of his mind drunk half the time, but at least he could still see the man, hug him, tell him he loved him. Her pain and strength in the face of all her loss humbled him.
They sat there for moments or maybe hours. He let her get it all out and when she was done, he took her to her bedroom and placed her on the bed. Gently kissing her forehead, he started to rise.
“Wait,” she grabbed his hand. “Aren’t you staying?”
He glanced down at her, face streaked with dried tears, eyes slightly puffy, nose red. Damn, she was beautiful.
“Do you want me to?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“We don’t have to—”
“Please, Luc. I need you tonight. Please,” she begged.
Didn’t she know, she never had to beg. Not him. He was coming to find he’d do anything this woman asked of him. How could he not? She astounded him with her resilience, her bravery, her kindness. He wished he had half the pluck of Charlie.
“Take off your clothes.”
She hurried to comply. Normally he liked to disrobe her, but tonight he worried his emotions were too high strung. She’d opened up to him in a way he knew she hadn’t to many others. That made him special, made this special. And he was determined to make it memorable for her. He slipped off his glasses and placed them in his pants pocket.
“Aren’t you going to get naked too?” She shifted on the bed. His usually confident sex kitten displaying a rare show of vulnerability.
“Not yet.” Because first, he needed to show her how grateful he was that she shared herself with him. Not her body, but her heart. “Let’s focus on you first, shall we?”
He knelt on the bed between her open legs, lifting her right foot to place a soft kiss on the sensitive arch. She sucked in a sharp breath.
“Well, if you insist.”
He chuckled against the smooth skin. “I do.”
Then he proceeded to caress her with his lips. Working his way up her calf and thigh, kissing across the gentle swell of her abdomen and back down the other leg.
“The anticipation is killing me.”
He smiled. “Can’t have that. You’d come back as a ghost and haunt my ass for all eternity.”
“Damn right,” she laughed.
But her amusement turned to moans when he dipped his head between her thighs. She cried out as he gripped the full, firm globes of her ass in his palms, tilting her hips to get a better angle.
“Oh, Luc!”
He used his lips and tongue to give this woman the most pleasure she’d ever had in her life. She deserved it. He wanted to let her know how amazing he thought she was and since he knew she would scoff at any verbal praise, he worshiped her in another way. A way that had her screaming out in bliss less than ten minutes later.
She threw an arm over her eyes, breasts heaving up and down with her panting breaths. “Holy, fuck!”
He chuckled. “Don’t tell my mom, but I’ve always found great sex to be something of a religious experience myself.”
She lifted her arm slightly, glancing down at him. “I’m pretty sure my mom still thinks I’m a virgin.”
He raised both brows. “Really? She can’t really think that. I mean, at your age?”
Her eyes narrowed. “And what age do you think I am?”
Oh shit! He’d stepped in it now. He grew up in a house of women and rule number one was never mention age or weight. He knew Charlie was thirty-two because he had the names and ages of everyone in the anger management group, but no way in hell would he reveal her actual age. Didn’t matter that the woman looked beautiful and it wouldn’t matter if she had clean skin or wrinkles and age spots. He was not digging this hole deeper.
“Not a day over twenty-five, sweetheart.”
She stared for a second before laughing out loud. “Oh, that’s good. Okay, you’re out of the doghouse. Now take off your pants and get your sexy ass over here.”
Relief filled him at not screwing up the night with his stupid blunder. “Just my ass or you want the rest of me?” He bobbed his eyebrows.
Coming up on her elbows, she lifted her hand and crooked a finger at him. “All of you.”
He hoped she meant that in more than a purely physical sense because he was coming to find Charlie Jackson was a unique woman. One he’d be crazy to let slip away.
He lost his clothes in seconds, was next to her in moments, and after quickly protecting them, he found himself caught up in Charlie. It was a frantic rush to join, but once he pushed his cock inside her they both paused, their heavy breath mingling with each other. He held himself, poised above her, surrounding her as she filled his very soul.
“Luc?”
He saw the question in her eyes, knew what she asked by whispering his name. This was different. Different than before. Something had changed. Maybe it was when she shared with him, or when he held her as she cried. He didn’t know and he didn’t know exactly what this was, but he knew he wanted to be here, with her, right now. They’d figure everything else out later.
“I know.” He whispered softly. “Are you okay?”
She nodded.
“Do you want to stop?” He would, somehow, he would find the strength to pull away from her heavenly body and give her space if that was what she needed.
“No.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a soft kiss. “Don’t stop. Make love to me.”
He moved inside her, slowly, drawing the pleasure out. Letting her know how much he cared. When she cried out, he moved faster, setting a pace to raise her up again so he could join her when she came crashing back down. And though it killed him to do so, when she glanced at the clock with worried eyes, hours later, he kissed her softly.
“I know. We’ll figure it out.”
Dressing quickly, he let himself out of her house and got back into his car. He drove home to his small apartment. But it didn’t feel small. It felt big and empty. He wished he was back in bed, holding Charlie as she slept. It wasn’t because he wanted more sex—although he’d never turn her down—he just wanted to be with her. Be there for her. This sex only affair he’d been so on board with in the beginning suddenly felt…wrong. Normally he came home and fell into bed with a smile on his face, loving their deal. For the first night since they’d started this thing something felt…off.