Chapter 6
6
L iam carries me into his bedroom, and though my legs instinctively wrap around his waist, everything about this feels wrong and forbidden. I shouldn’t want this, and yet there’s no denying the unending truth.
We fit .
We’ve always fit, like pieces from different puzzles, their edges whittled down by time and pain until they have no choice but to interlock.
Setting me on the edge of his platform bed, Liam shoves his flannel pants down toned, muscular thighs, and a chiseled masterpiece stands before me, his skin glowing in the soft light from the lamp on the nightstand.
My attention veers to his erection, and my jaw unhinges. I expect him to take my mouth first, because it’s his thing, a tradition steeped in our strange dynamic.
“Lie back,” he says instead, voice thick with desire.
I blink, caught off guard. “But I thought you’d want?—”
He presses a finger to my lips. “What I want is for you to do as I say.” His command sends a shiver through me, and I surrender without protest, sinking into the mattress.
“Now what?” I whisper, my knees trembling between us.
“Spread your legs.” He nods toward me, and I part my thighs, baring the apex of my glistening sex.
His pupils darken. “You’re drenched.”
“It’s your doing,” I breathe, swallowing the guilt.
“I know. But seeing you like this…” He grips my ass, dragging me to the edge of the bed, and then sinks to his knees. “It makes me want to drown in you.”
His exhales tease my center, making me throb, and I count the staccato beats as I wait for the molten brush of his mouth. I’m so wound up, all trembling limbs and fluttering pulses, that I bite my lip to keep from begging.
Anticipation coils tighter, every second a razor’s edge.
Liam drapes my legs over his shoulders before dragging his tongue over my clit, circling with slow, torturous pressure.
A cry rips free, pulled from the depths of my being.
“God, the taste of you,” he groans before delving into my slick entrance. “I could eat you out for the rest of my life.”
The rest of my life…
A life that was supposed to be spent with Sebastian. I go still, fighting to keep the pain at bay, determined to moor it for the night.
Just one night.
But the ache in my chest won’t be ignored. It builds in tandem with the pace of Liam’s tongue, splitting me in two until I want to gasp and cry, scream and moan.
I clutch his head, desperate for him to stop.
Desperate for him to never stop.
His mouth stalls against me for a moment, then he lifts his head, dark eyes unreadable in the low light. “You’re holding back,” he says, calling out my internal struggle as he pushes a finger inside me. “I want every sigh and whimper, Novalee. Every single one .”
“Liam…” His name breaks on a lust-filled whine.
“That’s it, my sweet girl. Your pussy’s leaking all over me.” He adds another digit and pumps in and out, stroking that magical spot that sends my mind reeling. With each slippery plunge, I stretch a little more.
“Oh God,” I moan, still not ready to give in. My cries launch from deep in my throat, but still, I hang on, trapped in self-denial.
“Give it to me.” His growling demand vibrates against my clit. “Come all over my face.”
Whatever he does next is pure sorcery, because I can’t think or form words. Of their own accord, my hands fall to the bed, and I fist his royal blue comforter.
Air locks in my lungs.
Fire bursts to life on my skin.
And the earth?
I’m positive it’s spinning out of control. No, I’m the one spinning high above the clouds, suspended in the unrelenting pleasure of his mouth and fingers. I haven’t begun to come down when he tangles a fist in my hair.
“I’d give anything to be inside of you right now.”
“You said you’d make me bleed.” I meet the fierce need in his eyes. “Why wait until my birthday?”
“That isn’t the plan anymore.”
“It’s not?”
“No.” A triumphant smile tugs at his lips. “You’re going to bleed for me on our wedding night.”
“What are you talking abou?—?”
Flipping me over, he silences me, mid-word. “On your knees. Tuck them under you.”
Even as I’m panting in shock, my body does his bidding. I rest my shoulders on the mattress, ass in the air, and wonder what he’ll do next. A drawer squeaks open, and I twist my head to watch him in the dim light.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking you the only way I’m allowed.” He uncaps a bottle I’m all too familiar with and pours some of the slick fluid into his palm.
“But—”
“No buts, Novalee.” He applies the lube before crawling onto the bed behind me. “Marrying you is back on the table, and I’m not blowing it this time.”
I don’t have time to process the revelation. He’s already dragging the head of his lubed cock through my wetness, sparking me to life all over again. His slick digits probe my back hole, an uncomfortable yet arousing way of preparing me for him. One finger, then two, easing in and out with a measured rhythm, coaxing me open until I’m groaning from the stretch.
I try to relax and match his rhythm, but tension flares as I brace for more. Then, with a low grunt, he pushes into my ass, and despite the preparation, it’s an abrupt intrusion that’s far more painful than I remember.
“It’s too much!”
“Relax, my sweet girl. Breathe through it. Let your body take me in.” Liam’s voice has never been so gravelly or strained. Holding my wrists to the mattress, he drives himself deeper.
“Fuck, that’s good.” His voice roughens as he shudders through the sensation. “Do you feel that? You’re taking me so well.”
I bite my lip to stifle a whimper and try not to bear down, but the burn is relentless. “It hurts.”
“I know it does, but you have to get through the pain to find the pleasure. So feel the pain, hate it with all your soul, but know it’s necessary.” His gruff words brush my nape. “Give in and accept it.”
As he continues to open me up, his thrusts quick and urgent, I can’t help but understand the double meaning of his words.
“I can’t accept it.”
“Yes, you can.”
“I can’t!”
“I won’t let this grief kill you. Sebastian wouldn’t want that.”
Sebastian .
His name roars through my ears, awakening the agony all over again. Unbidden, a sob bursts free. But I don’t want to cry anymore. I don’t want to hurt anymore.
Liam’s determined to make me do both. “Cry until you can’t cry another second.” With every deliberate thrust of his cock, he drags out another sob. “Remember him and accept the pain. Embrace it until it no longer hurts.”
Memories of Sebastian flood my mind—his teasing blue eyes, the way he painted my portrait like I was special, how he felt inside me, claiming what he could. His touch and his love had filled me so completely.
Just like Liam’s doing now.
I wail harder than I ever have, my ass taking the brunt of his cock. Acceptance tears me open, bulldozing through my walls as if they were never there at all.
“He’s gone.”
Liam slows his pace, his thick shaft gliding between my cheeks as he brushes a hand over my hair. His thumb strokes my damp cheekbone, wiping away liquid grief.
“He’s really gone,” I weep.
“That’s it. Let it go.” His words follow the cadence of his thrusts, edged with a tenderness that sends a familiar shiver down my back. It’s unsettling, the way every hard inch of him moves inside me, his groin rocking against my backside, steady like the sea.
“He’s not coming back.”
“No, he’s not.” His warm lips hover at my ear. “But you’re going to be okay, because you’re the most astounding woman I’ve known, strong and capable of great things, and this will not break you.”
His fervent vow heats my stomach, igniting a spark in my core, dulling the burn.
“Liam…you feel…”
“Tell me.”
“You feel good.”
“You feel perfect,” he rasps, his hips building rhythm again. “Perfect and mine .”
I can’t be his.
“No.” The objection echoes in my thoughts, and I shake my head. “I can’t.”
“Yes,” he hisses, on the threshold of climax. “You can. You are .”
I can argue with him until I’m out of breath, but my body doesn’t lie. Whether I like it or not, Liam Castle will always have a hold on me.
As my bitter tears soak through the bedding, something raw shudders down my spine, fraying me with dangerous abandon.
“Make me come,” I choke out, the words heavy with regret and shame. Both press into me like Liam, each thrust a fierce mark of his ownership.
“You feel so damn amazing. Hell, you drive me out of my mind. I have no control.” His muscles tense, and with a final thrust, he locks into place. A guttural sound rips from his chest as he spills into me, deep and unrelenting—as if claiming every inch of what’s finally his.
Still riding the tail of his orgasm, Liam rolls to his back and takes me with him. He parts my legs, slips two fingers inside, and lets his thumb become a merciless tease on my clit.
“I need more,” I say, bowing my spine, bringing his touch deeper.
“Greedy girl.” He tugs on my hair, then slides his hand to the back of my neck. My head tilts under his control as he takes my mouth in a desperate kiss, his tongue thrashing against mine. I can’t help but rock into him, chasing every ounce of friction he’ll give me.
Abruptly, he breaks our lip lock. “You’d better come before I want round two.” Even as he issues the warning, his spent cock twitches against my ass cheeks, threatening to grow once more.
“Please, I need…” Biting back a whimper, I move to the pace of his hand, my hips straining for release. His skilled digits guide me to the peak, where I cling to the edge for what seems like an eternity before I finally…
Let go.
It’s an endless fall, an inevitable surrender, an agonizing renewal. My second climax of the night is more earth-shattering than the first, the waves trapping me in the throes, making speaking impossible.
Liam is not so silent.
“I’ll love you until I die, and then some.” His mouth presses against my cheek as he wraps his arms around me, shifting us onto our sides.
I’m still humming with aftershocks, but as the fire in my blood cools, I struggle to keep my eyes open. The landscape of my mind is blissfully empty, my limbs sated and heavy with exhaustion.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers. “Sleep, my sweet girl.”