12
Josh
I open the door to my apartment and Olivia walks past me towards the couch. My girl is visibly shaken; pale skin, fake smile, hands quaking.
“What was that?” I look down into her sad eyes. Well I try to but she's avoiding my gaze.
“That was Ryan.” She inhales deeply. “My ex fiancé.”
Fuck.
“I didn't even know he lived here. In Florida, I mean. I can’t fucking believe this.” She huffs, rage rolling off her in waves.
“Baby, it’s gonna be okay.”
“Is it?” She yells, pacing the living room, hands running through her hair. Taking a deep breath, she calms herself a little. “I'm sorry, Josh.” She sits on the couch.
“It’s okay, Ollie.” I sat beside her, “Hey baby, don't cry.” I reach out to touch her but she moves away at the same moment. I get she’s upset about seeing her ex for the first time in years. I'm sure it brings up a lot of emotions. But I don't understand why she's shutting me out.
“Seeing Ryan surprised me, sure, but that's not the reason why I'm so upset.”
“Okay… Well, what is the reason?”
“It’s what he said, you know, about your revolving door of women. Is it true?.” She looks deep into my eyes, right into my soul.
Fuck me. This woman had her heart broken by her father and then her fiancé in the same way, and now, here I am, manwhore of the year, having to open up about my past, hoping to reassure her that I'm not like them? That she won’t get hurt again? I feel like this is the end when we've barely begun.
“I’ll be honest with you, Ollie, because you deserve the truth.
” The emotion shining bright in her eyes is crushing me.
“I’ve never had a girlfriend before. Hell, I've never been on a date before.
But this thing between us isn't anything like I've ever felt before.
I've never experienced this type of attraction before. Am I attracted to your body? Yes. Am I attracted to your mind and soul? Also, yes. This has never happened to me before.”
“I get that Josh, I really do, and it means a lot to hear you say that, but you didn't answer my question.”
I take a deep, steadying breath. “It's true.”
Her eyes well with unshed tears and I want nothing more than to reach out to her, but I keep my distance for now.
“How many women?”
“Olivia, you don't -”
“Please, just tell me.” She says, vulnerability in her tone.
I huff a breath, now running my hands through my hair. “I don’t even know.”
“You don’t know? It’s really been that many?” She laughs, not in humor but in disbelief. “And when was the last time?”
Can I lie to save her more hurt? Would she believe me?
As if seeing into my mind, she says, “The truth. Please.” Her eyes are pleading with me and I give in.
I hang my head. “The morning we met.”
I can see the moment her heart shatters but I can’t stop it. All I can do is try and pick up the pieces, if she will allow me.