13
Olivia
My heart stops beating in my chest the moment the words come out of Josh’s mouth. I feel broken and used.
“I’m so fucking stupid.” I mutter, the tears I've been holding back, now streaming down my cheeks like a flood.
I get that Josh has a past. Everyone does. It’s not really about how many women he’s slept with. It’s more about how I don’t want to be just another one of them.
“Baby, you’re not stupid. I should have told you about my past and that’s what it is. It's in the past.” I let out a long exhale. “I swear, the moment I saw you, it was all over for me. I haven’t even looked at another woman since.”
I stay silent, not knowing what to say. I wanna believe him, I really do, but I’ve been on this ride before and I wish I’d gotten off of it before I got hurt.
Josh reaches for my face again, wanting to wipe away my tears, but before his hand lands on me, I stand.
“I can't be here right now. I need air.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“No, Josh. I need to be alone right now.”
“Please, Ol, don’t do this. We need to talk about this.”
“What’s there to talk about? You probably fuck multiple women a week.
You say it's in the past, but it was literally last week. How can I believe you've changed when you’ve barely had a chance to know it yourself? I’m not gonna stay here and be another point on your score board.
” I'm being hurtful to him and it kills me, but this is how I deal with these situations.
I say hurtful things to scare people off, thinking that'll be easier than dealing with the truth.
“Please, just trust me, Ollie. Please. I need you to give me a chance here.”
“I'm sorry, Josh, but right now I can't. I can't set my heart up for failure.”
Making my way to the door, my bag already slung around my shoulder, I try to stop the tears.
“Baby, please.” He begs. My heart is breaking in two right here on the spot. One final blow. That's what it'll take to make him hate me.
I turn to face the man I'm pretty sure I'm already in love with, which is stupid since I apparently don't know him at all.
“Listen, Josh. This week has been fun. Really fun.” I smile up at him innocently, getting ready to strike.
Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I look into those beautiful green eyes that captivated me so easily.
Although now, they’re not the same eyes.
There’s hurt and fear swimming in them, a glassy hue taking over the brightness.
It’s taking everything in me to stay composed.
“Don’t worry, at least now you can go back to fucking your way around all the puck bunnies that want you.” Hand on the doorknob, “You know, if you haven't done that already.”
I open the door, walking through as quickly as I possibly can and slam it behind me.
Walking down the hall towards the elevator, I feel my lungs struggling, my chest tightening.
I can’t fucking breathe. Grabbing the edge of the wall for balance but losing the fight and sliding down, I put my head in my hands.
I feel like the world is crumbling around me and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
I can't stop the tears from flowing, can't stop the ache in my chest at seeing his face fall, can't stop the guilt slicing through my veins. I can't make any of it stop.
I sit here, crying a river of tears for who knows how long before a body sits at my side. I don't need to look up to know who it is.
Strong muscly arms wrap around my shoulder, pulling me to him. I cry some more, covering his chest with my tears.
“I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now, but I needed to make sure you're okay.” He says, voice deep and filled with concern.
I can't respond, the emotion stuck in my throat making it too hard. I can't even move right now. Too scared to move.
He gets to his feet, placing one arm under my legs and the other under my arms and carries me away from this sad spot on the floor. Placing my head on his shoulder, my cry now silent, he carries me towards his apartment.
This is a bad idea. I know it is. But I don't have it in me to say no.