12. Juliet
Chapter 12
Juliet
~1.5 weeks later~
"Juliet, come here." Luciano's deep voice summoned me to his office just as I passed it.
I nearly tripped over my own feet from how fast I stopped to spin around on my heel. Standing at the doorway, I smiled at him apologetically. "Sorry, I know I'm not supposed to be in this wing, but they said you were over here, and I wanted to say bye before school." I also might have wandered a little too far in my daze.
Smiling, he forgave me with a shake of his head as he beckoned me over with a wave of his hand. "It's fine. Just be a little more mindful from here on out. It's not that I want to ban you from this wing just because." Once again, he had this reluctant edge to his voice that made me wonder if he held something back, but I didn't push it as I slowly approached his desk and stood across from him on the other side. "I am doing it for your own safety and sake. There are lots of things that happen in this wing that are unsavory, things I don't want to expose and taint you with."
His studious eyes looked me over before his face softly bunched up with a soft frown. "Are you sure you want to return to school? It won't hurt you to take more time off to recover, and my offer of homeschooling is also on the table." He inquired as he got up from his seat and rounded the table until he leaned back against the desk before me.
Uncertain, I frowned and twiddled with my fingers. "I don't know. I feel like I should try to go to school. I mean, it might help to be around my peers again… But it also just feels overwhelming to think about being around all those people." Chewing my bottom lip, I exhaled heavily through my nose. "I also can't stay cooped up in your place forever… But I'm so scared."
The thought of going back to school and pretending I didn't get trafficked by my own parents, gang raped, and now tangled with the biggest mafia on the east coast was unnerving, to say the least. On the other hand, how would other people see me if they managed to find out what happened?
Reaching out, Luciano took my hands into his, brushing his thumbs comfortingly over my knuckles. "You don't have to do this if you are not ready. It has barely been over a week since your traumatic event, and you have only had one therapy session so far." Settling my hands back down, he reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear. "You don't need to push yourself so much. You have only started the healing process, and if you overexert yourself, you can undo your progress."
He was right, like always, but being home with him felt suffocating with how he bounced from being caring and supportive to giving me a cold shoulder. I know he was a busy man, but over the past few days, he locked himself away in the office wing and felt as if he tried to isolate himself from me.
"I'll be okay… I have to be." I couldn't stay broken and weak forever. I had to pick my life back up sooner than later.
Sighing softly, Luciano shook his head as his hands cupped my face. "No, Juliet, do not force yourself to be okay when you are not. If you are not ready, then that is okay. You are allowed to take time, especially since you can." His thumb softly brushed my cheekbone as he looked at me with sympathetic eyes.
"Listen, I know you want to try and get your life back, take some kind of control back and all, but if you are not fully prepared to try and face the consequences, it will end badly. You have already gone through enough, and I do not want you to get hurt again so soon or ever." At least his voice was comforting to my nerves.
Just as I opened my mouth to protest, he held a finger to my mouth, "If you want to try today, then I will support you like always. I just need you to agree to a few terms, alright?" His voice sweetened just enough with his little smirk as he tilted my face up a little.
"Do I get to know the terms before I agree?" I asked warily as my body tensed up. The last thing I needed to do was blindly agree to something and get myself in a shitty situation. I doubt Luciano would do something like that to me, but I couldn't help but feel wary about any kind of agreement after everything.
Huffing out a soft chuckle, he gave me a proud smile of sorts. "Good girl, never blindly agree to anything." Letting go of my face, he placed his hands against the edge of the desk. "Go for half the day for the next few days. Give yourself some breathing room. If you feel like you can keep going by lunchtime, let me know so I don't have someone pick you up. If I do not hear from you, then I will assume you are not comfortable and will have your ass dragged home to decompress." Tilting his head, he urged me to answer with a raised eyebrow.
"Fine." It wasn't some ridiculous request. He was being more than reasonable, and it was for my sake and health. "What are your other terms and conditions?"
"If you feel uncomfortable and want a break at any point in the school day, then let me know ASAP. You will also let me know of any plans before or after school just so I know of your last known whereabouts if anything were to happen, not that they should, but just in case." After giving me a moment to process his words, he continued, "I am not going to control your life much if I can help it, but for you to have such freedom, you have to be safe, responsible, and reasonable with me. Your bodyguard will take you to and from school every day, and they will hang around the parking lot until it is time for you to go home. "
Pouting a little, I held my complaint back as I reluctantly nodded. I didn't want a bodyguard around to draw attention to myself. Then again, pretty sure showing up to school in an expensive ass car with a new driver would draw eyes to me already.
Maybe Luciano had a point about taking a few days off, but even when I would go back, the situation wouldn't be any different. So, might as well suck it up now, I guess.
Resigning to my fate with a sigh, I looked down at my foot for a moment before looking back up at Luciano, who studied me with hawk-like eyes. "If you have any issues with any of it, then by all means, let me know." He invited me with a wave of his hand and a warm smile.
"Well, I don't want the bodyguard, but it's for my safety… So, I'll learn to live with them hanging around." I grumbled with a relenting sigh. "Anything else?"
Nodding his head, Luciano fished around in his pocket and pulled out a small pouch. "Just one last thing." From the bag, he pulled out a necklace with a pendant of a pair of bat-like wings with two horns and a pointed tail in the shape of the letter 'L' on it. "Well, this one might not be much of a request, more of a… Demand, I guess."
"I'm guessing you want me to wear it and never take it off?" I asked with an unsure voice and expression while I studied the thing closely. "It's not really my style…"
"But it is for your safety." He added in a firm voice. "I won't always be around for people to know you are under my protection. This is my symbol within the mafia, so everyone will know who you belong to while you have it on your body."
Involuntarily, I shivered at his words. He probably didn't mean anything to them, and hearing him say I belonged to him broke open a dam of heat within me. Strangely, I felt happy at the words, and it made me feel safe knowing I belonged somewhere. It was stupid of me to feel and think too much about it, though, because he probably didn't mean it like that or anything close.
Bunching my hair up, I slowly turned around and peered back at Luciano with an eager smile. "Put it on me, please?"
The way Luciano's eyes darkened with his widening smile sent another rush of heat down my body where it settled in areas I never thought I'd feel for a long time. I thought I 'd be fearful of getting such a hungry gaze from a man, but for some reason, I felt a need to run into Luciano's arms and press my body right up against his rather than the adrenaline rush to run far away.
It felt so wrong, yet so right. I shouldn't be eager to get close to a man after what I went through. Well, in a way, I wasn't. The thought of being within arm's reach of any male made me want to hurl and curl away in a corner until I became nothing. I was disgusted with myself at how much I craved Luciano; it was a constant tug-of-war within me.
Unable to help it, I shuddered at the feeling of his rough fingers brushing against my collarbone and neck as he looped the delicate chain around and secured it. The weight of the pendant sank into my upper chest like a weight, or at least it felt like it. Turning around, I looked up at Luciano intensely with wanton eyes and heavy breaths.
The air between us thickened with unadulterated heat with our locked gazes. Inhaling deeply, I watched Luciano's jaw tense before he swept a hand across his stubbled jaw with the faintest of growls. Then, slowly, his hand reached out and settled around my neck, his thumb brushing against my thrumming carotid as I offered more of my neck to him.
Then, nothing. Confusion and disappointment crashed into me like a freezing tsunami when he dropped his hand from my neck and stepped away from me. "Don't take it off, and have a good day at school, Juliet."
Disappointment sank into me more when he used my name instead of principessa , something he had been calling me quite a bit recently.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I smiled flatly at him and nodded. "I'll try. Thank you for the necklace."
Feeling rejected, I quickly made my way out of his office with my head down.
Asshole.
I should have listened to Luciano.
"Juliet." The usual calming voice of Gale, paired with his touch, nearly gave me a damn heart attack when I jumped away from him as if he were a monster.
Holding his hands up, he looked at me with a worried frown. "Juliet, you need to go home before you faint." Slowly, he approached me with caution. Hesitantly, he reached out and hugged my stiff body tightly. "What's wrong? What happened? You go silent over the whole break, then you come back a whole different person and refuse to tell any of us anything."
Sighing heavily, I softly pushed Gale away. "I-I can't… It's too much for me to bring up again right now." The notion of it seemed simple enough, but I already had a trip to Hell and back when I had to tell my therapist everything.
Luciano's home, where I felt remotely safe, was the only place I would accept having a breakdown. "Maybe later… Not here, though." I mean, Luciano did say I was free to bring whoever over, that it was now as much my place as it was his.
Exhaling heavily, Gale's frown deepened as his hands twitched at his side. "Alright, but you still need to go home, Juliet." He strained out flatly.
I wanted to shake my head and argue with him, but I was too tired to. It took so much energy to make it to lunch without going into a panic attack or jumping at every person who approached me. The fight in me was nearly nonexistent now.
"Do you need me to call your par—"
"No!" Not even the full mention of my parents got my anxiety spiking again to where my heart raced and tightened in my suffocating chest.
Frantically, my hand scratched at my chest until Luciano's pendant dug into my palm from gripping it so hard. It was the only thing that has kept me rooted in reality so far.
Luciano. I needed to get back to Luciano.