17. Luciano
Chapter 17
Luciano
Concern weighed the corners of my lips down when I saw Juliet's shoulders drop with her smile as she cowered her body before the mirror.
I couldn't find it in me to stop her from admiring herself. The way she smiled so brightly as she twirled a bit in her spot and the way her appreciative eyes drank in her own image, it was too happy of a moment for me to shatter. So, I hung back at the doorway, leaning against the frame with a small smile of my own as I enjoyed the little moment myself.
Well, it was nice until the switch in her. I immediately sprang into action at the sight of her shutting down. The robe I had in hand was thrown onto the bed as I took big strides to her and embraced her in my arms. "Hey, don't," I commanded sternly, forcing her attention up to me with a face grab. "What is going on in that mind of yours, principessa ?"
"I don't want to go out like this. I don't like it. Everyone is going to look, and everyone is going to think I'm a whore for dressing like this, and if anything happens, it 's because I was asking for it." Her whimpering words rambled on as her eyes grew distant and her breaths picked up in pace.
Shifting my hand from her cheek to her neck, I gently applied some pressure as I tightened my other arm around her to keep her firmly pressed against my body. "Stop." I bit out sternly. "Pay attention to my voice. Don't let your thoughts race because they aren't true. Don't listen to the demons in your mind and the lies they spew."
Slowly, her eyes came back into focus. "That's it, good girl, come back to me. Just breathe, in through your nose, out through the mouth." I praised and instructed her with a proud smile.
"I swear to you, as long as I am alive, no harm will ever come to you. If anyone dares to look at you wrong or say such things to you, I will rip their tongue out, break their jaw, then use their own jaw to beat them to death." I promised her with a serious gaze and voice. "And don't you ever think like that. It doesn't matter how you dress or act. That is not an invitation or consent. And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise or convince you, you let me know or clock them in the face and deliver a blow to their balls. Is that clear?"
Letting out a deep, shaky breath, Juliet nodded her head before leaning into my hand. "Yes, understood." Her reply came out airy as she let her eyes flutter closed.
"Good girl," I whispered against her forehead with a smile before kissing it softly. "We will leave when you are ready." Time crunch or not, Juliet's safety and comfort took precedence. I would have to cut my warmup a little short, but that did not matter to me. Thankfully, Juliet didn't take long to recover.
Once she was back to baseline, I released her to go pick up the black robe I had brought in for her to wear. Standing before her again, I helped her slip my black robe on, carefully tied it around her, and fashioned it into a makeshift off-the-shoulder dress with a satisfied smile on my face. She couldn't see it, but my symbol was in red on the back. It was my robe for the ring, which kind of swallowed her up and almost looked like a long dress.
"There, now everyone there will know that you are mine for tonight." I couldn't help the possessiveness from coming out as I admired her delicate body wrapped in the dark material.
"What happened to me deciding?" She remarked with a hesitant smirk.
Chuckling, I reached out and pinched her cheek softly. "There's my spunky brat."
"We should be mindful of our words to each other until I do decide after tonight." She said with a saddening smile.
Humming softly, I nodded my head in agreement. "You are right. I am sorry." I shouldn't be calling her mine when she wasn't.
But by God, I hope she will be mine.
Reaching out, I took her hand and dragged her out of the house to my car. "I will have to leave you with some people at the event towards the end, but you will be more than safe with Leah and Aidan," I told her as we were on the road.
"Aidan? As in Aidan The Vulture?" She sounded wary at the possibility of being left with another person in the syndicate, not that I blamed her.
Nodding my head, I focused on the road as I spoke, "Yes. You will be more than safe, and he knows a bit of your situation and how you came into my care." Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see her frown faintly in the dimly lit cabin of the car. "I would take you with me if I could, but I can't for that part."
Well, I probably could take her to the back with me while I warmed up and prepped myself for the ring, but I would need a moment alone to fully set myself straight. Also, I would be too distracted with her beauty if she were around.
Movement in my peripheral made my eyes flicker to her to see her fidgeting hands. "I think I'll be fine with Leah around." She tried to sound confident, but I could hear the slight tremble in her voice.
Taking a hand off the wheel, I rest it on her thigh and stroke it comfortingly. "You can do it, Juliet, but if it gets too much, just let them know, and they can take you somewhere to decompress." I wanted to push Juliet with this event, too. "Plus, I think Aidan is bringing his girlfriend this time, so maybe you can make a new friend. She's a few years older than you but a delight. I think you two can get along pretty well."
The other reason why Aidan was bringing his girlfriend along was because of Juliet. Much like Juliet, Aidan's girlfriend had a really sheltered life and only recently broke out into the world on her own after a run-in with Aidan's boisterous daughter. So, Aidan was more than eager to get more people in her life, and he was the one who suggested having our women meet up to get them acquainted. Juliet didn't need to know all of that, though.
"So, what exactly is this event?" Juliet asked as she wrapped her arms around my outstretched arm and hugged it tightly.
"It's an underground fight," I replied bluntly. There was no sugarcoating the event, nor did I want to. "I run them every three to four months as a way for lesser-known names to make their way to fame, entertainment to those who can afford it, so business venture in a sense, and I take care of other syndicate business there which you will see later."
"So, an illegal underground fight ring?" Juliet asked timidly while poking the back of my hand with her fingers.
Amused, I chuckled and squeezed her thigh softly, causing her to gasp softly. "Underground fight already means that it's illegal."
"Oh shut up, I don't know all the technical terms and shit of the shady world." Sometimes, her innocence was adorable and refreshing, and that part of her made me not want to drag her into Hell with me.
Smiling sadly, I moved my hand up her body to her nape, rubbing it with my fingers. "I hope your light continues to grow and never dims, no matter what choice you make." I couldn't ruin her, and I would do my best to preserve what goodness she had in her heart and soul if she were to join my side.
Scoffing and chuckling dryly, I felt her head shake. "I think it's a little late for that."
If I wasn't driving, then I would've taken her face into my hands and said some stern words or pulled her over my knee. But for now, I had to settle with choking her softly by slipping my hand around the column of her neck from the back. "Juliet, do not make me pull this car over to teach you a lesson already and make us late," I warned her with a subtle squeeze. "I hate being late."
The subtle vibrations of her words tickled my hand. "Luciano, is it wrong that I like you choking me?" I could feel the subtle bob of her throat when she swallowed hard. "It always feels so calming to me and gets me turned on sometimes. And I feel like it should feel wrong after everything, but I like it when you're close. I crave for you to touch and guide me."
Loosening my hold, I stroked her neck gently with my fingers. "No, nothing wrong with kinks and preferences, especially for a little bratty submissive like you." It was a loaded conversation; one this car ride wouldn't even begin to cover. "We can talk about that tomorrow or sometime after tonight. It's a lot to cover, and how we go about things depends on your decision about us after you witness everything tonight."
"You make me sound like a child saying I'm a brat, and saying I'm submissive makes it sound like I'm weak." She remarked with a 'hmph' at the end.
"Depending on context, it could very well mean that, but that's not the case here. A brat and a submissive are roles in a BDSM dynamic, and nothing about them makes you feel weak. Just because you are submissive does not indicate a lack of power. If anything, the submissive in any dynamic is the strongest because of the total control they have." I needed to put a lid on it before I overloaded her before the night even began. "But that's something we can talk in-depth about later or something you can explore on your own and ask me about."
Sighing reluctantly, I suggested to her, "You can also ask Aidan since he's more knowledgeable and can probably teach you about it in a way that's more understandable than me." Did I want her to talk to my friend about sex and BDSM? No, not particularly, but I knew for a damn fact Aidan would be able to navigate it a lot better than me because of his lifestyle.
Humming softly, I felt her head shake. "It's okay. I can wait to talk to you about it after researching." I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief at her response.
Thank fucking God.
Then, after a brief silence, I asked the dreaded question. "Juliet, do you like me because I saved you, and is it that aspect that you love and grew your emotions on? Or is it something else?" I wanted to see if she was on the right road to begin with.
Sighing heavily, Juliet chuckled dryly. "I actually spoke to my therapist about that quite a bit over the past few weeks. I thought about my gravitation towards you and my feelings towards you. I thought I was displacing my emotions and clinging onto you because you saved me and whatnot, but after I got over my gratitude for you, I still found myself fascinated with you and wanting to know more about you. Your presence alone is enough to calm me and keep me more than content. I can relax around you, feel safe, and stuff." Her words trailed out into a strangle of incomprehensible mumbles before she recollected herself. "Sorry, my mind rushed ahead of me." Her body shook softly with her sheepish chuckle.
Letting out a long sigh, she leaned against my arm. "I thought the feelings would simmer once I reconnected with my friends, especially Gale, who I always found comfort in as much as I do with you. Yet, I felt nothing close to the warmth and bliss I always feel with you." The soft pads of her fingers danced along the back of my fingers, making me shiver softly at the contrast between our bodies.
Her delicate fingers pried at my stiff ones until I released her neck. Then, she held my hand in her lap before continuing, "Although, I guess I've only fallen for a part of you, and if I am being honest, I am more afraid of losing what I have developed for you after seeing your true self tonight. I mean, I know that's the point, for me to know what kind of man you are to see if I can feel for all of you…"
"But you are afraid of the other possibilities." I finished in a somber but understanding voice. "Just know that no matter what you decide tonight or after, I will still be there for you in whatever way you need. Whether it be a friend or a lover, I won't abandon you based on your decision." It would be very shitty of me to completely shun her if she rejected me or chose to keep me at a certain distance.
At least, if she decided to keep me in the friend zone, that would make my life a lot easier with moving on from her. I wouldn't have to worry about hurting her feelings or think about ways to let her down easily.
Unfortunately, the idea of her as a friend irked me. An ache threatened to pull the corners of my lips down into a deep scowl when I thought about not being able to have her intimately. Which was fucking confusing and stupid because wasn't that my goal? To not have her as a lover?
This weird situation between us confused me more than I liked to admit because I really shouldn't have her—I didn't deserve her. Yet, the selfish part of me challenged all of that. Because why not? Why couldn't I have her? I was Luciano fucking Agosti, and I could have whatever the fuck I desired in this damn world. I could very well force the lie of the marriage onto Juliet and turn it into a truth, and she won't be able to do anything about it. And I won't lie; I have entertained the idea more than I should've throughout the past month, especially when I felt myself grow a little fed up about Juliet's little stubborn stint.
If she weren 't a traumatized woman who needed a careful hand, then I very well might have kicked her door down, thrown her over my shoulder, and forced her down the aisle.
Yeah, very fucked up of me to even think about that, but something about Juliet made my desires go haywire.
On the other hand, whenever my sense of whatever sanity I had was intact and functioning, I instantly backtracked.
It was a constant tug-of-war in me when it came to Juliet, and I hated it. Not as much as I hated the thought of not having her as mine, though.
God, how the hell did Juliet throw my stable life into such turmoil?
Okay, maybe my life wasn't stable to start with, but it was livable. I had my routines, thoughts, and emotions as straight as possible. Then Juliet came along like a tornado and fucked it all up, making me feel like some incompetent teenage boy crushing for the first time. It was ridiculous because I was a grown fucking man! I shouldn't feel this lack of control over myself because of someone like Juliet.
Yeah, in theory, letting her go if she didn't feel the same way should be easy. I mean, I never had any issues in my past relationships if things didn't work out. However, I have never felt such intense lust for someone until Juliet. No matter how many relationships I've been in, I have never loved any of them. None of them made my breath hitch with a racing heart or invoke such eagerness from me.
As much as I wanted to shove Juliet out of my life, I always found myself rounding back to her at the end of the day, whether it be physically or mentally.
Juliet had a fucking chokehold on me.
And I didn't want to escape.