36. Juliet
Chapter 36
Juliet
Fucking bastard!
And fuck me for being so stupid and na?ve! Seriously, how could I have been so, ugh!
The temptation to punch the wall or my computer monitor gnawed at my clenched fists as I paced around my room.
Everything inside of me felt like a mess. I was extremely hurt and sad, so much so that it felt like someone caved my chest in and squeezed at my heart. Then, my own idiocy made me feel like the damn teenager everyone claimed me to be. I really couldn't believe I got played like that.
I let him in, trusted him, gave him everything, only for him to play me. Then how I believed him, the lies he fed me… When he told me he loved me. It was all a fucking lie!
I had no one but myself to blame for all this hurt because I gave him the ammo to use against me. This damn heartache, me. These tears, me. My fucked- up life, me. I let myself grow comfortable around a damn mafia man. How fucking stupid of me. I really should have known better, especially after he warned me so blatantly. I shouldn't have listened and fallen for his empty promises.
I would be a sad, sobbing mess in bed right now if I hadn't let him in.
The whole fucked up part of all this was how hypocritical he was. He said he didn't traffic humans or partook in such activities, yet he fucking bought me from my parents. My parents were already on my shit list, but hearing about how they sold me out way before Carol put them higher on my shitlist.
Besides the fact he stooped as low as them, I was upset at how he toyed with my emotions despite knowing the shit I went through. I was even more furious at myself for loving him back.
God, and just when I was about to let him… I couldn't fucking believe it. I was ready to give myself fully to him, which was why I got that damn gift that still sat in my bag. I don't know what I would do with it now, maybe chuck it into the ocean or a volcano.
Letting out a frustrated cry, I rubbed at my sore and puffy eyes.
I hated how all I could do was cry about everything in bed like a sad sack of shit, but I couldn't find it in myself to muster up any kind of energy to do anything. Even the thought of marching my ass back down to the office to sock Luciano in the face again was losing its appeal. All I wanted to do was rest my tired eyes and sleep the rest of my life away.
Yeah, sleep sounded nice right now.
Unfortunately, that plan went out the window at the sound of knocking on my door. Whatever dying energy I had flared back up into full-blown madness at the sound of Luciano's voice from the other side of the door. And silly me for thinking Luciano would fucking leave. Damn bastard kicked my damn door in. Seriously, what was his problem with breaking his property? First, the balcony doors, now my room door.
I wasn't in the mood or in the right headspace to deal with him, though.
Whatever anger bottled up within me exploded upon the sight of Luciano, and I didn't bother trying to control it. Object after object, whatever I could get my hands on, was thrown at Luciano until he stopped before me and dropped to his knees.
I wanted to tell him to fuck off and shove him off, but my words refused to leave my mouth the moment he spilled everything. As he spoke, I found myself listening when I probably shouldn't. I mean, how could I believe what lies came out of his mouth now? They didn't feel or sound like lies, and I wanted to keep my walls up.
But damn those sad eyes of his.
The moment he looked up at me with his tear-strewn face and broken eyes filled with sincerity and genuineness, I felt everything crumble around me. I might regret this, but damn my heart for going back to him after he ripped it apart.
Slap!
The pain in my own hand from slapping him again was worth it.
"I hate that I can't not love you." My calm voice shook with my angry exhale as I looked down at him with a tense face. "But that doesn't mean I fully forgive you. You are going to have to earn everything back."
Hesitantly, I threaded my fingers through his hair, gripping the back of it to force him to crane his neck to look up at me. "I want proof. I want proof that what happened with my parents isn't true. I want you to prove every damn second of every fucking day that the feelings you claim for me are true. Prove to me with your actions and words that you cannot live without me."
Out of pure resentment, I tightened my grip on his hair until he visibly winced. Then, slowly, I leaned down until a mere inch separated us. "And if you want to put your ring on my finger, then you will spoil me with the blood of my enemies. Until all the bodies of the bastards who raped me are beaten and bloodied at my feet, where my face will be the last thing they see before Hell, don't even think about proposing to me until then."
"Consider it done. I will do anything." I shouldn't be finding any satisfaction in how desperate and miserable he sounded, but the fact that he slipped into such a state all for me made me feel powerful.
Sweeping my tongue across my lips, I let the devious smirk present itself on my face. "And I want Carol dead. I want her to suffer, and then I want her to burn down in the cursed lounge after I throw a match at it. I want my revenge, and I want it painful and bloody."
Bringing my other hand up to his face, I slowly trailed the tip of my finger down his cheek, across his jawline to his lips, and lightly traced the seam of them. "And after all of that, you will treat me like your fucking queen for the rest of your life."
"Yes, amorina ." His airy reply came as he leaned into my touch.
The coarseness of his beard tickled my fingers and palms as I splayed my hand under his jaw, slowly pressing into him and holding his face for a moment to admire the image of this man melting before me. Until I remembered that I was pissed at him. My grip tightened out of nowhere, my nails digging into him as I jerked his face. "And you better not pull any more dominant shit with me. We are playing by my rules until I say."
I could feel his throat bob with his hard swallow as his eyes turned wary for a split second and softened back up with defeat. "Yes, amorina. " His voice strained with reluctance, but he still gave in.
Okay, now what?
Do I kiss him? Slap him? Kick him in the nuts with this only chance?
The fact I could probably do literally anything to him right now without possible retaliation was a scary thought because I did not like having this much power.
Freaking out internally, I pulled back and let my body do whatever felt right, which was apparently all the above.
It was as if someone took a reflex hammer to my knee with how fast and hard my leg shot out and caught Luciano right between his legs, causing his face to twist with sheer agony and groans of pain to leave his mouth. Of course, that wasn't enough because down to the ground he went with a hard slap across his poor face. But I mean, I took some mercy on him with how I hauled him back up by the front of his shirt into a very hard and angry but passionate kiss.
I will admit I kind of got out of control for a second there.
Whoops.
Apparently, I could hold a bit of a grudge.
It took me three solid days of giving everyone the silent treatment before I accepted any of their apologies. Well, it was five days until I accepted Sebastian's and Ares's because they were off in Florida and didn't really know about me to really tell me anything. Leah, Aidan, and Evie, on the other hand, took another full week before I relented; the fact they saw me quite often and didn't think to mention any of it to me pissed off and hurt me greatly. Granted, it was Luciano's fault for telling them he'd take care of it, so they kind of thought he would tell me one way or another.
Luciano and I were by no means lovey-dovey again, nor were we back to normal. It was hard to think about returning to 'normal' with him after everything. Every time I thought about letting him back in, my walls would come right back up at the thought of how he deceived and hurt me. It wasn't fair to either of us, but I still questioned his feelings even if I could see them as plain as day in his eyes.
"Juliet baby, are you sure?" Luciano asked after looking through the four photos I handed to him.
I nearly snapped at him in response, but I shut the lid on the boiling pot. "Yes. I can't ever get rid of their ugly faces from my mind." I replied flatly with a scowl.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to doubt you, and that question kind of came out wrong." Shaking his head, Luciano's eyes softened with an apology as he held up a picture. "This man, though. You sure?" It was as if he almost didn't want to believe it himself with the hardened edge of anger in his voice.
Without a word, I nodded my head firmly before my eyebrow rose in question. "Do you have a problem with that man?"
Muttering something under his breath, Luciano slapped the pictures onto the desk and ran a hand through his hair. "Now I do." He scowled deeply as he pulled his phone out and texted someone.
Moments of tense silence later, the door to his office opened, and someone was shoved in, followed by two guards behind him who proceeded to throw him face down on the ground. "Luciano, what is—" No words came out of the man's hung mouth when he looked up from his position on the floor.
Emotionlessly, I tilted my head and spoke up in an almost empty and eerie voice, "I think you just answered that question yourself."
"I-I am so sorry, please. I didn't know you belonged to Luciano. If you did, then I wouldn't have touched you or let any of the other men touch you." Empty apologies filled with nothing but desperation to live.
"You better shut up before I have Luciano rip your jaw off and beat you to death with it." Gruesome? Yeah, but I felt nothing for the scum. I don't think I could have if I had tried my hardest. He brought this upon himself, and who knows how many people he's assaulted over the years.
It was unfortunate to think about, but I was only one of many.
"You aren't sorry. You are only sorry that you are caught. It doesn't matter if I belonged to Luciano or not. You shouldn't have done it in the first place." I sounded like a pompous ass with too much arrogance speaking down to him like some mother belittling her child, but that was the least he deserved.
"Please, spare me." The man begged pathetically as he crawled and cowered at my feet.
Scowling in disgust, I kicked him away and rounded the desk to stand next to Luciano behind the desk. A wicked idea snaked a crazed smirk on my lips as I leaned down and wrapped my arms around Luciano's shoulders and neck. "It's been a while since I've seen you go at a punching bag. Why don't you remind me how hard you can hit, babe," I suggested—more like commanded—Luciano in a saccharine voice, tracing the tip of my finger along his shoulder. "But don't kill him. Just get a quick one in, then cut his pathetic dick and balls off and let him bleed to death."
Luciano whispered with a nervous chuckle to me. "Remind me to never piss you off again." His rough hands swallowed mine briefly to pry my arms off, and his lips pressed a quick kiss to the back of my hands before he returned them to me fully after he stood up.
As Luciano approached the man, the two guards in the room each took hold of the man's arms, holding him up upright and still for Luciano. No matter how much the man begged and struggled, no one paid him any attention, nor did either of the guards let their grip on him falter.
Luciano's casual voice slowly deepened with anger while he spoke and rolled his sleeves up his forearms. "I was going to take it easy on you and put a bullet through your head after I found out about you being a mole for Marley, but that train blew up the moment my girl here gave me your photo after she identified all her assaulters." Smiling to himself, Luciano shook his head in disbelief before throwing a fast punch at the man's face, filling the office with the sounds of his nasally screams. "Then the fact that you've been working for me this whole time knowing." Another punch hit the man's face, and Luciano switched gears.
Sitting pretty behind the desk, I propped my elbows up on the flat surface and watched the man's body jerk and twitch with each hit Luciano delivered. Throughout the next few minutes, the man continued to wail and plead futilely as Luciano turned his insides to mush.
"Darling, I changed my mind a little," I spoke up just as Luciano pulled his arm back to throw another punch. "After you cut his dick off, shove it in his mouth. See how he likes having a dick forced into his mouth while he's begging for everything to stop." Not gonna lie, this want for more scared me. "I wanna see him choke to death on his pathetic thing."
This wasn't me. It didn't feel like me. Never in my life would I ever want harm to someone, let alone ask someone to do it on my behalf.
Correction: this wasn't the old me.
The person sitting here relishing the sight of her mafia boss beau beating a man to death because she commanded it was who I had become after being burned by the fire.
They shoved me into The Devil's arms, so I will embrace him back.
I have fallen to Hell, so I shall raise it with Luciano.
Those who wronged me will be nothing but ashes by the time our crusade is over.