39. Luciano
Chapter 39
Luciano
"You should have been more careful." Juliet chided me with a huff as she cleaned my shoulder wound. "This could have seriously hurt you. What if it hit a nerve or severed a tendon?" Usually, I found fretting annoying, but it was more than tolerable and cute coming from Juliet's worried lips.
Rolling my eyes, I reached back and grabbed her hand to stop her. "Sweetheart, it's just a shallow knife wound. I will be fine." I assured her with a strong smile.
A deep exhale dragged out of her glaring face as she stared back at me from her position at my side. "I still don't like you getting hurt." She grumbled with blushing cheeks.
Unable to help it, I pushed her against the bathroom counter and trapped her between my aching arms. Leaning down with a chuckling smirk, I trailed the tip of my nose across her cheek to her ear. "You sounding like you care makes me think you've forgiven me some."
This tense distance between us chipped at me with each passing day of the last two weeks. To see the dullness in her eyes when she would look at me, the apprehension, and what hurt the most was when I caught a glimpse of her love for me, only to have her put the walls up.
Sighing softly, Juliet lightly smacked my bare chest with the bloody rag in her hand. "Some, not fully." She remarked with a flat smile.
"I know, but some is better than none." With one hand on the counter's edge, I moved the other one to cup her face. "And with you, I will take anything." Anything to ease this distance and guilt within me—anything to move us to a better place.
Her fingers poked and prodded at my chest for a moment before she looked up at me with those round brown eyes of hers. "What would you have done if things didn't go your way? Would you have forced me to marry you? Or what would you have done?" Her breath picked up ever so slightly as her eyes grew unsure.
I opened my mouth to answer her, but nothing came out. I couldn't reply to her because I literally didn't have an answer. "I don't know." Groaning internally, I bury my face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her addictive scent to keep myself rooted. "I'll be honest, I didn't think that far because I don't plan for it to go that far. I mean, I kind of did, but it was a shaky idea at best. I thought of making up some excuse of you going to college and us reaching some other agreement."
Her back arched awkwardly as she leaned away from me and used her hands to push my head away. "Do you not want to marry me?" Now that was a loaded question, and the tone of her voice made me feel like I was fucked no matter the answer.
The nervous bob of my throat surely wouldn't have gone unnoticed by her eyes as I staled for a good answer. "W-well, uhh… It's not that simple. I mean, back then, you were still trying to figure everything out, and I had a lot I didn't want to put on you. Also, it wouldn't have been fair of me to possibly try to put something as a relationship onto you back then." And deeper and deeper my grave got—and I was digging it.
"Luciano." I snapped point blank with a glare. "Yes or no. Do you want to marry me?"
Without a millisecond of hesitation, I answered her from my heart, "Yes. I do not want to spend the rest of my life with anyone else besides you. You are the person I want to wake up to every morning and come back to every night. The only person I can ever imagine starting a family with. The only person I want to be the mother to my children." I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't stop. Words continued flowing out of my mouth like a broken dam as I held her face lovingly in my hands. "You make my life so perfect yet tear it all up at the same time. I want to be good to you, be the man you need and want, the one who won't smother you and put your flame out."
Leaning our foreheads together, I closed my eyes for a second. "But by God, I want to be a monster sometimes because you are too perfect to let go. I am so fucking obsessed with you now that if you tried to leave me, then I might just snap and lock you in the basement. I don't ever want to let you go."
I hated the two sides of me when it came to Juliet. The primal side that craved to dominate and consume her, and the sensible side that wanted to be good and steady. "It's such a storm inside of me whenever it comes to you. I want to hold you to keep you safe in my arms, feel your warmth against me, but at the same time, I want to tighten my arms around you and trap you against me forever." I strained against her lips with a scowl to myself.
"Oh, Luciano." The wicked yet adoring smile and glint in her eyes made my own furrow together in confusion. "Hearing how crazy I make you just… Mhmm fuck!" My groan, along with hers, echoed throughout the bathroom in response to her nails raking down my chest. "Who would have thought that the broken girl you hit with your car months ago would be your wife." She mused against my lips with a devious giggle.
"I love how crazy you are for me. I don't know how to explain the feeling, but I get such a rush when I feel wanted and desired by you. Hearing how much you need me, like how you need air, makes me feel important to you." The faint feeling of her lips ghosting over mine caused my eyes to flutter shut in anticipation. "I would have hated you so much if you did make me marry you back then or any time after, but I might have eventually gotten over it because it's not like you're a bad person, personality and look wise."
A wave of disappointment washed my eyes open from the lack of warmth bathing my face. With a frowning pout, I looked at Juliet, who had pulled away in confusion. "I hate how there is no sense or reason to all of this. I mean, yeah, how the truth came about was a nuclear bomb, but truthfully, there was no good way for any of this to come about." Her eyes dampened with a reluctant acceptance as she smiled sadly at me. "If it came out earlier, it probably would have sent me into a spiral. Now? Well, we went through the blowout. Later? Probably another petty argument."
Sighing longingly, she leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my torso and hugging me tightly. "And I also hate how I understand and agree with your decision to keep all of it from me. You shouldn't be keeping anything from me, but honestly, if things went your way, then I wouldn't know a single thing, and we'd be on our merry way." The seething in her tense words made me shiver with guilt because she was right.
Truly, I had no plans on telling her any of it and let it settle to dust once I took care of everything. It hurt me to think about it now and back then, but it would have been best for all of us if she knew nothing and remained ignorant. The unfortunate part of it all? If I had a chance to redo all of this, I would do nothing different except take care of the problem sooner to prevent Juliet from finding out.
Call me a shitty person, I didn't give a damn, but I only wanted to do what was best for Juliet, and that would have been the best.
"Well, it came out, we argued, and we've changed. We need to start moving forward." Regret at how blunted my words sounded made me wince because I didn't mean to sound like a pushy asshole.
Expecting some form of retaliation from Juliet, I braced myself for some harsh words or a slap to the face from her. Yet, nothing came but a pathetic chuckle from her. "I know we need to, and I guess I just don't want to because then that means forgiving you fully." Rubbing her face into my chest, she takes a few heavy breaths before looking up at me with a lopsided smile. "Don't think any of this means I'm not upset at you anymore because I still am. I still expect you to grovel every day for the rest of our lives."
Cracking a smile and chuckle, I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "The rest of our lives? Don't say something you don't mean, sweetheart. I might just make you sign some papers and make you my wife before I take you."
Why does the thought of that get my blood pumping?
Juliet, my wife. It had a nice ring to it. I mean, Juliet Agosti sounded very nice, and maybe I played the way her name sounded during graduation too much in my mind. She really caught me off guard when she came up to me with the request to take my last name a week before her graduation. I couldn't deny her because her reasoning was pretty valid, and it wasn't as if she had any other name to take on. My agreeance wasn't out of some possessive nature to see her have my last name. It really was to grant Juliet's request of wanting to be completely cut off from her parents and old life, basically.
Now, though, after hearing it announced at her graduation and seeing the way her eyes darkened with wonder and lust just now at my words, I couldn't help but cling to it. "You would like that, wouldn't you, Mrs. Agosti?" I teased with a chuckle, running a hand through her hair.
The way her body shivered and leaned into me as her breath quickened. "S-stop that…" She squeaked after ducking her head from me. "It makes it harder to stay mad at you." She grumbled, making me laugh softly with a warm smile.
Confidence swelled up in my chest and down where it counts, something Juliet didn't let go unnoticed by how she gasped when I pressed myself into her soft thigh. "Would you still be mad at me if I made you my wife?" I teased smugly, leaning down and blowing a hot breath against her ear. "It wouldn't be nice of you to be upset at your husband right off the bat. I mean, you wouldn't want to start our marriage off on the wrong foot like that, would you?" My hands teased their way up the sides of her body to her breasts while my words worked at her psyche.
"Would you hate me if I shoved you over the desk and made you sign those papers with a gun to your back, make you accept your fate as my wife legally before I throw you onto the bed and force your legs open to consummate our marriage?" Wary eagerness filled my thumping heart from the images those playful words painted in my mind.
Anxious tension tightened my chest as I waited for her response, which surprised me when it came. With a seductive bite of her lip, she looked up at me with goading eyes full of lustful desire. "I heard angry and hate sex is the best kind, so maybe I will hate you and spite you so you can fuck me and mean it."
Holy shit.
I didn't think Juliet had this side of her, or at least, I didn't think it would come out this soon after everything. Hell, I expected and planned on things being more on the vanilla side for a long while. She had a long list of kinks, but most of it was in a gray landmine zone that we had to tiptoe through.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I forced myself to take a step back from my alluring vixen. "Tomorrow, after a good night's sleep, we will discuss it all," I promised her with a smile and a quick kiss before picking up the discarded rag on the floor.
Having this conversation while I was still high on my adrenaline rush from my mission would do us no good. Usually, I wouldn't complain about getting a good fuck after a mission, but getting into it now with Juliet would be the worst thing for both of us.
I wanted to frown when Juliet's smiling face fell slightly after reading the room. "I'm sorry. I just… I missed you, and seeing you hurt kind of reminded me of the fact that you might not come home one night." She apologized with a half-hearted smile. "And I guess I'm just still a little confused with myself after today's events."
Pushing off the counter, she took the rag from me and went to the trash to throw it away. "I should have listened to you when you said it was too much, that I should slow things down today. I rode on the high, and now I realize everything as I'm crashing." A dry chuckle emitted from her trembling body. "You should have slapped me in the face and called me a crazy bitch. I was on such a power trip that I just…"
"Got ahead of yourself? Became some stranger to yourself?" I filled in the blanks for her with an understanding smile.
Juliet said nothing in return as she sighed and hung her head in shame.
" Principessa , come here." I waved her over with an open hand and a warm smile. She took a second but shuffled her way back over and snuggled into me. "We've all been there, and trust me when I tell you I've seen and experienced worse. At least you're humble enough to admit it sooner rather than later."
"Is it wrong for me to kind of like it? Being a boss ass bitch was kind of awesome." She tried so hard to hide her smile, but how her lips twitched in a struggle before giving up was amusing. "I mean, I still like it when you're in charge. Seeing you all macho mafia bossy is kinda hot." She added with a cheeky grin, her cheeks blushing up with her admission.
"I like seeing your confidence. It makes me proud to see that side of you bloom." I knew it was in there somewhere. I mean, would I have preferred if it came out in a more positive or constructive way? Yes, but nothing could be done about it now. "But maybe keep a level head and let me handle the bloody things. You stay behind the computer and wreak havoc that way."
"Deal." How fast she agreed took me by surprise. "As fun as it was to watch you tear that guy apart earlier while I sat there like a queen… I wanted to throw up so badly after the high died down." She admitted with a frown and gag, making me laugh a little.
"Don't worry, sweetheart, that's what I'm here for," I assured her with a cocky grin. "I'm already tainted, so more blood on my hands won't harm me. I will always be there to drench my hands for yours to stay clean." Such words should never exist so casually, but this was our normal now. "You want someone gone? Consider it done. All you have to do is tell me who, sit back, and relax."
Scoffing with a roll of her eyes, Juliet lightly smacked my chest and stepped away from me. "This is why you're so hard to stay mad at, you perfect jerk." She remarked, sticking her tongue out at me before picking up a clean rag from the little closet in the bathroom and chucking it at me. "Go finish up and come cuddle me."
"Whatever my amorina wants." I teased with a laugh, blocking another flying hand towel with my hand.