CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Blair
Zane’s staying in a fancy hotel—of course—and while I don’t feel out of place, I am definitely underdressed.
I’d be more at home in a stylish silk dress and sky-high heels rather than my skintight jeans and off-the-shoulder blouse.
After dropping my bag home, I opted for a more casual outfit than I’d normally wear out since I would no longer be on Nathan’s arm, and I’m regretting it. Among other things.
Like following Zane into his hotel.
If I was thinking more clearly, I’d probably stay outside, but the second we push through the opulent floor-to-ceiling doors, there’s no going back. The soft looking velvet couches are screaming my name, and I desperately need to sit down.
Walking slowly, I concentrate hard on placing one foot in front of the other, determined not to make a fool of myself, and I almost wish I’d let Zane take my hand.
The journey with Jenna felt more like being dragged by a dog on a leash.
We barely managed a few steps without one of us stumbling and the other tripping in the opposite direction, meaning the short two blocks seemed to take hours.
“We made it,” Jenna cheers loudly and I audibly groan. Zane’s going to have something to say about that, but at least he was there to catch me the few times I did fall. “Look how lavish those chairs are,” she continues, awe in her expression. “Blair, do not puke. You’ll get us kicked out.”
I pause, focusing on my stomach for a beat, and when it doesn’t rumble, I smile. “Honestly, I think the worst of it made it onto Zane’s shoes. We’re good now.”
“Perfect.” She beams.
“Yes, perfect.” Zane rolls his eyes and laughter bubbles out of me.
“Ew. You stink, Zane. Can you please go and change?”
“What are you, twelve?” Zane stares at me deadpan, but the corners of his eyes crinkle, giving away his amusement.
“I was way more mature at twelve. You know that. This is me drunk. Something you don’t know.”
At that he raises an eyebrow, and his beautiful lips quirk into a smile. My gaze lingers on his mouth longer than it should before I register what his expression means.
Wait? I frown, my attention shifting to his knowing expression. Has he seen me drunk? I’ve only been this bad a handful of times and most of them were in college, except for Cade’s eighteenth birthday when I found the alcohol he’d snuck into the house.
And…
The night of the accident.
Since I doubt he’d joke about that night, I’m guessing… “You saw me at Cade’s birthday?”
“I did.” His smile widens. “I’m the one that hid the alcohol in the closet. I was on my way to get a couple of bottles when you snuck out.”
“But that was before I started drinking.” My forehead creases as I try to recall anything I can remember of that night.
“Who do you think got you into bed?” Zane questions and my eyes widen of their own accord.
Jesus. “I could have sworn Sierra did that.”
At the mention of his sister, Zane subtly winces before schooling his features. “Nope. It was me.” His smile returns but it barely moves his cheeks let alone reaches his eyes.
A weight settles on my chest as I study his features. What I wouldn’t give to find out what he’s really thinking right now.
“Zane—”
“I’m going to clean my shoes.” He abruptly changes the subject, jolting me. “Don’t leave. I’ll be back.” He jogs away, and the second he’s out of earshot, Jenna wolf whistles, clearly not reading the room.
“Damn, that man is fine. You didn’t tell me he was that hot.”
Unable to stand anymore, I fall back onto the couch and let my body sink into the cushions, closing my eyes with a sigh. “I figured you’d look him up.”
“I was planning on it, but didn’t get the chance.”
My lips lift into a soft smile. Trust Jenna to pull me out of a mood. Her and this phenomenal couch. I could easily fall asleep here.
“So…Miss Stevens,” Jenna continues on, but I’m only half listening as my mind drifts into patterns. “I’m curious…” She trails off.
“Mm-hmm?”
“How does it feel to have two football players in love with you?”
“What?” I blink a few times as I huff out a laugh. “Zane’s not in love with me.” Not anymore. There was a time I believed he was. Or that he’d get there. But that was a long time ago. A lifetime. I can barely remember what it felt like.
My heart wrenches as though trying to remind me, but before I can process it, Jenna laughs.
“Bullshit.” She shakes her head, her smile incredulous. “I could see it in his eyes.”
“You’re drunk.” I wave her off but my traitorous heart dances at the thought.
Jenna’s laughter rises, keeping me from escaping into a memory. “You’re right. I am blind. But I can still recognize a loved-up man—or woman—when I see one. It’s a gift.”
I pretend she’s not insinuating something with the “woman” comment and say my piece. “If he’s loved up,”—I straighten in my seat, curling my legs up in front of me—“it doesn’t matter anymore. We had something years ago but it’s long over.”
“Mm-hmm.” Jenna nods a few times, her lips pursed. “Keep telling yourself that.”
“I will.” Annoyance plagues me and I jump up, needing to distance myself from Jenna’s drunken musings. “I’m going to rinse my mouth out and then… Do you have any gum?”
“I sure do.” She hands over her purse. “This baby has everything you’ll ever need.”
“Thanks. I’ll be back.”
Jenna waves and before I’ve taken a step, she closes her eyes and snuggles herself into the couch opposite where I was sitting, resting her head on the arm.
“Don’t be long,” she calls out as I brush past her. “Lover boy will be back.”
Ignoring the sting of her words, I search the foyer for a bathroom and beeline for the full-length mirror, thanking the universe that I managed to keep myself clean.
Taking my time, I thoroughly rinse my mouth out before running my fingers through my mussed-up hair. And when I’m done, I take a deep breath as my reflection attacks me. Her judging eyes stare back at me, her brows high on her forehead, questioning my life choices.
God, what am I doing? My insides squirm as a shiver runs through me.
Not only am I drinking to quiet the noise in my head, but now I’m here with Zane. One of only two people my boyfriend despises.
I need to get out of here.
Squaring my shoulders, I blow out a breath and open the door, striding confidently toward Zane and Jenna. But when she laughs at something he says, I falter, all my strength whittling away.
This can’t be good.
“I actually haven’t met him yet,” I overhear as I get closer, tiptoeing so I can listen in. “I can only judge on what Blair’s told me.”
I internally groan. Zane’s asking about Nathan.
“Okay. Then how long have you known Blair?” he asks, his body stiff as though he’s running an inquisition.
“You mean B?” Jenna bites her lip, her expression exuding sass, and my muscles tense. “I think it’s adorable that you call her that, by the way. I’ve known her for a few weeks.”
“Fast friends?” Zane ignores her teasing, but I can’t do the same, since I know what she’s doing, and it doesn’t sit well with me.
“Blair’s awesome.” Jenna smiles and it’s full of so much warmth that it thaws my indignation. “But I don’t need to tell you that. I’m sure you know.”
“I do.” Zane’s shoulders bounce as he lightly chuckles, and while I wish I could take a moment and wallow in the familiar sound, I’ve heard enough.
Taking a step closer, I open my mouth to announce myself until Jenna continues. “She told me about the game,” she says and I frown. What game?
“What about it?” Zane asks, his expression similar to mine.
“How Nathan kissed her to make you jealous.” Her head tilts to the side and I curse under my breath. Of all the things she could have said.
“He what?” Zane snaps and… Dammit. What is she doing?
My stomach knots as I rush forward, curling my fingers around Zane’s bicep as he clenches his fists, his gaze darting to my hand.
What’s that saying? “Loose lips sink ships.” I smile through my annoyance, trying to placate a pissed-off Zane. Jenna has a lot of explaining to do.
“Zane, Jenna is—”
“Is it true?” His deep accusatory tone inflicts a similar burn to whiskey, and I swear he gets taller, making me straighten beside him as I release my hold.
“You didn’t know that?” Jenna asks and I quickly cut in.
“How would he know that, Jen?”
Her brows pull together before she glances away, seemingly lost in thought. “You’re right. My bad. What’s Nathan like?” she asks Zane and I groan.
“Jenna, what are you doing?” I release a slow breath, my voice dripping in resignation.
“I just want to know, that’s all. I haven’t met him, and of course you’re going to say he’s amazing. I needed a second opinion.”
“He’s my boyfriend.”
“And yet, Zane here seems to be worried about that.”
“What?” I glance up at Zane, my heart pounding as he folds his arms across his chest, his returning stare unwavering. Guess he’s not going to deny it.
“You’re drunk, B,” he says pointedly. “And that’s not like you.”
“It’s not?” I grate as my insides coil, the tension that’s been lingering fast approaching breaking point.
“How the hell do you know? You left.” A rage simmers inside me as it all becomes too much.
The pain. The uncertainty. The memories I’ve been trying to outrun since Zane first drove away.
“Maybe I became a drinker,” I lie. “Maybe this is an average Sunday night for me.”
In my periphery, I see Jenna shake her head no and I stamp my foot like a child. “Jenna? Whose side are you on?”
“Right now? This guy.” She points to Zane and her betrayal cuts me like a knife. “Until such a time as I meet Nathan. I’m good at reading people, and Zane gives off a good vibe.”
“Thanks.” He smiles and I want to slap it off his face.
“I’m going to go.” I spin on my heel. I can’t be here anymore.
“Wait.” Zane rushes forward, grabbing my wrist, but when I shoot him a glare, he releases me. “Not yet, please,” he begs. “Stay here until you sober up.”
“Oh, I’m plenty sober now. I think it’s best I leave. It’ll give you two a better chance to talk about me when I’m gone.” I wince at the venom in my voice, but right now, I’m too worked up to care. I need to sleep it off.
Jumping up from her seat, Jenna’s eyes alight with panic. “I’m sorry. God, what am I—”
“Don’t worry, Jen. I’ll call you in the morning.” I’m angry now but she’s drunk. Zane, on the other hand…
“No, babe.” She interrupts my spiral. “I’m coming. I’m sorry.” My shoulders drop, some of my fight dissipating.
“It’s okay, I promise. I just can’t be here right now.”
“I understand.” She runs to catch up with me, her heels clacking on the polished floors. “It was nice meeting you, Zane,” she calls over her shoulder, linking her arm through mine, and I think he mumbles “you too” but I refuse to look back.
I refuse to do anything until we’re in a taxi on our way home. It’s only then that I finally speak. After I’ve calmed down.
“I’m sorry I snapped,” I say, releasing a slow breath. “It’s just that was a lot and—”
“Why are you sorry? I said way more than I should have.”
“Yeah, well… Zane’s the kind of guy you want to talk to. He’s alluring like that.”
“He is, but it’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“At the risk of pissing you off again, I have to say, he doesn’t seem like the asshole you described him to be.”
I let my head fall back as I sigh dramatically. “That’s because he’s not. It’s easier for me to think of him that way.”
“He hurt you?”
“We hurt each other. But that was years ago. It’s time to move on.”
“He doesn’t look like he’s willing to do that.”
“He will. He’ll go back to San Francisco and all will be forgotten. It’s only because he’s here. You know…out of sight, out of mind.” I shrug and when I open my eyes, Jenna frowns, wanting to challenge me or say more, but thankfully she doesn’t.
“Want to stay at my place?” she asks instead, as we pull up in front of her building, the wrought iron lights giving the art deco building a fairytale glow.
I smile, considering it for a second before shaking my head. “Thank you, but I should go home. I don’t want Nathan to worry.”
“Of course. I really need to meet this man. ASAP.”
“You do. How about you come over for dinner this week? He’s around most nights.”
“Sounds perfect. See you then.” She presses a kiss to my cheek before thanking our driver. “Talk tomorrow.” She waves as she gets out, closing the door behind her.
And then there was one.
After taking another deep breath, I focus on the scenery around me—the passing lights, the shadows cast from the buildings—desperate to keep my mind off Zane. But it’s hopeless.
Why was he there? And why am I still so drawn to him? I thought I’d moved on. With Nathan. I honestly believed that seeing Zane again wouldn’t have this much impact, but I was lying to myself. And that’s messed up on so many levels.
I love Nathan. I do. And he’s good to me. Yes, there’s a chance he was out watching naked women dance, but he wasn’t spending time with his ex. He’d never do that to me.
Out of respect for him—and myself—I should have said no. I should have walked away.
God, he’s going to flip out when I tell him. Because I have to. I do. One thing about me is that I never hold back. At least not when it comes to things that I’ve done.
When it comes to my feelings, that’s another story.
My chest fills with an anxious weight, and when the taxi pulls up to my complex, I can’t bring myself to get out.
I let the meter tick over as I stare at the buildings, taking in the manicured lawns and perfectly shaped hedges. This building screams wealth, and I can barely afford this cab fare on my own. I don’t belong here, and I don’t think I truly realized how much that’s affecting me until now.
My driver clears his throat and I rush to apologize.
After paying the fare, I make the short trek through the gardens, taking my time to reach my condo near the back.
It’s dark when I get in, meaning Nathan’s still out, and when I check the time, it’s not as late as I thought.
After a long, hot shower, washing away the events of the night, I brush my teeth twice and slip into my comfortable pajamas before staring at our bed, imagining Nathan crawling in behind me, his heavy arm draped over my waist as he breathes loudly in my ear.
That’s if he doesn’t try to start something.
A shiver runs through me and I make a split-second decision to bypass the bed, opting to sleep on the armchair in the office.
The thought of being in our bed when he gets home makes my skin crawl, and while I can’t even begin to process what that means, I don’t want to get in a fight about it. Especially if he’s drunk.
Curling myself into a ball, I tuck my hands under my head and will myself to sleep, praying the alcohol helps me drift off.
And it must work, because before I know it, I’m being shaken awake, my head spinning as my eyes flash open.
Nathan?