CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO #2
“Okay. Sure.” I fake a bout of enthusiasm. “Let’s do this.”
***
Just like Sierra suggested, we party hop around Ponte Vedra—where all the wealthy kids fight to throw the best spring break parties—and I’m significantly buzzed by the time we get to the third.
Not that it takes much alcohol to get me drunk. I’m not usually a drinker. But today, I am letting loose and trying to enjoy myself. Trying being the operative word.
“Who’s here that we know?” I ask Sierra as I stumble up the steps, giggling at my clumsiness.
“I think Lily and Bryce are here”—a couple we know from school— “as well as the guys from the lacrosse team.”
“Which means that Jaxon is here?” I smile knowingly. Sierra and Jaxon were flirting for the majority of Zane’s party. “I wholeheartedly believe you’d make an adorable couple.”
“Shh. Jesus. We haven’t even kissed.”
“What?”
“You don’t even realize you said that out loud, do you?”
I wince, shaking my head no.
“God, that brother of mine really messed you up.”
“I’ll have you know that I ended it,” I say somewhat proudly until reality sets in and my stomach sinks. “Moving on.”
As though proving my point about the two of them, Jaxon seeks out Sierra the second she walks in, and other than mixing her a drink, I stay away, giving them time to themselves.
But it doesn’t take long for me to regret it.
I’d be fine by myself if I wasn’t forced to stare at couple after couple mauling each other on the dance floor, reminding me of how easy it is to be free to kiss whoever the hell you want without stressing about the consequences.
That should be us. That should—
“Blair Stevens, is that you?” I turn to find Nathan Morgan, the only guy both my brother and Zane truly hate.
“Hi, Nathan. I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I wouldn’t usually be caught dead at this party. But my cousin’s hooking up with the woman of the house, so here we are.”
“And you wonder why my brother hates you. You know this is a party with most of my school, right? My brother’s old school. Your rival team.”
“I do. And that’s why I don’t want to be here.”
“I get that, but…” I lean in closer to whisper in his ear. “Shouldn’t you at least pretend that you do, so the guys don’t beat the shit out of you?”
“Let them try.” He pulls back and winks, making me laugh uncontrollably.
“I’m not here for long anyway,” he tells me.
“There’s a party at my house. I’m just waiting for my cousin, then we’re…
” he continues speaking but I don’t register anything coming out of his mouth on the account of Zane entering my line of sight.
He laughs at something some girl is saying, shaking his head with a smirk.
My stomach knots, and I struggle to fight back tears, but I pinch my leg and smile, turning my attention back to Nathan.
“Sorry, I got distracted. What did you say?”
“I asked if you wanted to come with me?”
“Where?”
“To my party. You look a little sad here. Maybe a change of scenery will help.”
I’ve never had a problem with Nathan. He’s an ass to my brother and Zane, but they’re both assholes back to him. I’ve always played it off as a football rivalry and never anything more. He’s always been nice enough to me.
But…while I may be drunk, I’m sober enough to know that’s a bad idea. “Thank you, but I’m going to have to pass.”
“Because of your brother?”
“No,” I say honestly, because if I was thinking about Cade, I’d go just to annoy him. I’m saying no for Zane. And because of that, my traitorous gaze flits back to where he’s standing, and when I see him, it feels like someone knocked the wind out of me.
I clutch my chest as the girl he’s with grabs his shirt, leaning in, and I have to stop myself from screaming when she presses her lips to his.
Bile rises in my throat and I feel nauseous. I’m not sure what’s pounding harder, my head or my heart. Either way, I need out.
“What time are you leaving?” I turn back to Nathan, trying to control my composure.
“Ten minutes?” He seals the deal with the quick escape and I nod with relief.
“I’ll meet you out front. I just have to say goodbye to a friend.”
I don’t listen to his response—I’m not even sure if he gave one—my mind already set on finding Sierra and hightailing it out of here.
When I turn, my steps falter, my chest burning with betrayal. We only called it quits three days ago and Zane’s kissing someone else.
My head spins as I race to find Sierra, but before I can reach her, someone grabs my wrist, pulling me into a hard chest.
Zane.
“What are you doing?”
“What are you doing?” he counters. “You look frantic. What’s going on?”
I try to wriggle out of his grasp but he holds strong, making me angry. “Let go of me, Zane.” I rock as I’m yelling and his eyes narrow.
“Are you drunk?” It takes me a second to register his words because there’s something off about them. He’s slurring.
“Are you?” I snap back, which somehow convinces him to let me go.
“I’m not really in the mood to party, you know,” he stares at me pointedly. “The alcohol helps.”
“Seems to have helped a great deal. You looked like you were having lots of fun on the dance floor.”
Zane’s eyes widen before he curses under his breath.
“That wasn’t… it’s not… B, it’s not what you think.”
“Did you or did you not have your tongue down someone else’s throat?”
“You know I fucking didn’t. If you were really watching you would have seen that she kissed me and I shoved her away.”
“After a good thirty seconds.” I may have been talking to Nathan, but I was watching Zane from the corner of my eye.
“Blair.”
“No, don’t ‘Blair’ me. If our friends knew about us, no one would be trying to kiss you.”
“Fuuck.” Zane winces, running a hand through his hair, his shoulders dropping at the knowledge that I’m right.
“How many times has that happened?”
“What?”
“You know what? Never mind. I’d rather not know.”
I turn to walk away but his fingers curl around my wrist this time. “Blair.”
“Stop, we can’t do this here. I’m leaving anyway.”
“Where?” He drops his hold and steps back.
“To another party.”
“Whose party?” As though expecting to get the answer somewhere in the room, he scans our surroundings, his expression confused.
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“Fuuuck.” He runs a hand down his face this time, groaning again. “Don’t go. Please. I promise I didn’t—”
“Let’s talk about this tomorrow, when we’re both sober. Rest assured, you didn’t do anything wrong. We’re not together.”
“Thanks.” He rolls his eyes sarcastically. “Whether we’re together or not, I’m still not interested in anyone else.”
I’m momentarily stunned, but I still can’t stay here. “I…”
Zane’s shoulders drop and he sighs in resignation. “If you really have to go, can you at least call me when you get there, and when you get home?”
“Zane.” My heart skips, taking in the protectiveness in his eyes.
“Just do it, B. Please.”
“Fine.”
“Thank you.” His eyes light up with relief. “Look after yourself, yeah?”
“I will.”
I think he whispers ‘thanks,’ but I’m already on my way to find Sierra, grabbing another red cup of beer when I pass by the drinks.
I’m determined not to look at Zane, but at the last second, I glance back, finding another girl already in my place, her arms draped over his shoulder, her body pressed against him.
And instead of hating him for it, like I should, my chest aches for him.
Because I really wish that could be me.
And maybe, someday it will be. God knows, we both deserve to be happy.