CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Zane
Ican’t decide whether sleeping next to Blair is a dream or a nightmare, or a little of both, but there is no way in hell I’m walking away if she’s asking me not to. Especially after she whispered, “ please,” peering up at me through thick lashes, her gaze begging me not to leave her.
As if she doesn’t know how much it kills me every time we say goodbye.
When I don’t immediately respond, Blair’s shoulders drop and she uses her adorable pout to make me feel guilty, reminding me of the playful spark I used to see, instead of the reserved woman she’s become.
I stare at her for a beat, mesmerized by the moment, and vow then and there that if it takes a lifetime, she will find herself again. I’ll make sure of it. Because at the very least, she deserves that.
“Well?” she asks, scrunching her nose.
“You know I can’t say no to you, B,” I tell her honestly, my response accompanied by a half laugh. “So yes, I’ll torture myself by sleeping next to you. All night long.”
“Torture yourself?”
Is she kidding me with that question? “Blair, we have never slept next to each other, and here you are in skimpy silk pajamas, having trusted me enough to bare your soul, and I’m expected to just sleep next to you.”
“Do you want more?” She swallows nervously and I can’t help but smile. She’s got the wrong idea entirely.
“I just want to hold you.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widen and a spark of heat ignites within her deep brown irises. “I’ll allow it.”
“Good.” Lifting her up, I shift the sheet and comforter away, laying her back down, tucking her in.
Then, as she watches me with intrigue, I strip out of my shirt and dress pants, switching off the light before climbing in beside her, wearing nothing but briefs.
“Who’s torturing who in this situation?” she asks with an adorable little huff.
“I evened the playing field.” I wriggle around until I’m spooning her, and in the process, she settles her ass against my cock, making me bite back a groan. “Have a good sleep, B,” I grate through clenched teeth. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Goodnight, Zane.” She yawns again before sleepily adding a “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I smile as she gets comfortable, the floral scent of her hair calming me as I breathe her in.
Whether it’s the effects of the alcohol or our emotional confessions, Blair falls asleep easily, while I lie awake, listening to the soft whistle of her breathing, my palm rising and falling where it rests across her stomach.
This shouldn’t be the first time we’re sleeping next to each other. We should have had years of this.
If life had turned out differently.
My stomach clenches, and I ache to go back to when everything was simpler, when we thought the worst thing that could happen to us was Cade throwing a tantrum. I would have taken him beating the shit out of me and never speaking to me again over the way life panned out.
Leaning in to Blair, I snuggle against her, my face in her messy brown curls, my body flush with hers, and let myself relax and be in the moment, falling asleep to the sound of her snores.
It feels like no time has passed when my internal alarm wakes me before the sun.
And while I’m acutely aware that I should be going home, I can’t bring myself to move with Blair still curled up against me.
My shoulder aches from being in the same position all night, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I’m not embarrassed to say I’ve dreamed of this moment, of waking up with Blair in my arms. It’s how life was supposed to be. Before I ruined it all. If I could spend the rest of my days waking like this, I’d be a happy man.
Blair shivers, and I instinctively curl my arm farther around her, guiding my palm along her stomach, blanketing her in my warmth.
I’ve always run hot to her cold, yet another reason I believed we belonged together.
Feeling content for the first time in God knows how long, I stretch my fingers and sigh when they brush against her skin. Her top must have risen during the night, and try as I might to resist her pull, my hand slips under the silk, as though moving of its own accord, burning to feel her.
She doesn’t move at first, but after a few minutes of my gentle caressing, her breath hitches, and she squirms. I pause my movements, pulling my hand away, but she grabs my wrist and repositions my palm against her skin, closer to her breasts.
I take in a sharp breath of my own and continue, running the pads of my fingers from her breasts to her stomach, circling her belly button before making my way back up.
She barely reacts at first, her breathing even, but on my third run, I snake my hand lower, dipping a finger beneath the waistband of her shorts, and a soft moan escapes her.
I stiffen at the sound—the tension between us wound so tightly, it could snap at any moment. Blair must notice because she stills, her chest heaving, her breasts rising as she turns back to look at me, her eyes bouncing between mine, waiting for me to go on.
Holding my breath, I slide my hand under her shorts, feeling her squirm as I stop just above her pubic bone.
She jolts, looking away, and I expect her to stop me, but her palm covers my hand, her fingers lining up with mine as she guides our hands lower, silently consenting to what I desperately want to do to her.
My heart pounds as we move toward her heat, the beat so loud, I’d be surprised if she can’t hear it.
I have never wanted another woman as much as I’ve always wanted Blair, and this moment is no exception.
When our hands find the edge of her pussy, she lets go, leaving me free to run my finger through her folds, hissing at the feel of her.
She stiffens when I pause, an anguished sigh escaping her lips, and I bite back a smile.
Patience, Little B.
Taking my time, I slip a finger inside her, inching in slowly as she tightens around me, her pussy sucking me in.
My patience gone this time, I add a second finger, and she squirms, melting against me, her head dropping back to rest on my chest.
I curl my fingers, fighting not to grunt when her pussy clenches.
She’s so wet for me that my cock grows hard against her ass, her breathless gasp making me desperate to rock into her. To elicit more of her glorious sounds. But I’m moving too fast, too soon.
Slowing my moves, I open my mouth to apologize when she reaches between us, her light grip curling around the bulge in my briefs.
And fuck me…
I thrust forward as I stifle a groan, my cock nudging the perfect curve of her ass, making her whimper softly.
Precum soaks my briefs as Blair rolls her thumb over my tip, working me torturously slowly as I continue my thrusts, my fingers in sync with her moves.
She twists her head to face me again, and I finally release a groan, the intensity of her gaze eliciting the sound, the way her lust-filled eyes bore into mine.
Unable to resist her gleaming pout, I lean forward and kiss the edge of her mouth, capturing her lip between my teeth as I slip another finger inside her.
“Oh, God,” Blair mewls, breaking our kiss as she speaks, her voice so soft, it doesn’t break through whatever trance she’s under. And thank fucking God. I don’t think I could stop this train if my life depended on it.
I’ll be lucky if I can stop after giving her only one orgasm. What I wouldn’t give to run my throbbing cock through her soaked slit, to feel her pussy coating my tip.
But not today. Today is about this moment. About finally coming together again.
We continue our slow rhythm for a while, our ragged breaths filling the air, until something shifts between us.
I couldn’t tell you what changed, but as if a button was pushed, the intensity kicks up a notch, and Blair rides my fingers, her hips rocking as I grind hard against her hand, the cotton of my briefs creating a friction I don’t need right now. Unless I want to come like a teenager.
I grunt as I try to hold back but can’t stop my hips from thrusting as Blair jolts back against me.
If anyone walked in right now, I’m certain they’d think I was fucking her from behind, the way we’re moving in sync, breathless and hot.
I’d never usually settle for a hand job, but it’s different with Blair.
Everything’s always been different with Blair, and she knows exactly what I need to make me come…
The speed, the tightness. She’s so good I can almost imagine it’s her soaked pussy strangling my length instead of her delicate fingers.
Only I’ve never been inside her to know that for sure.
And that’s a goddamn tragedy on its own.
Blair changes her grip, and the heel of her palm nudges my piercing, making my balls tighten.
She inhales sharply and I smile, knowing she felt it too.
She doesn’t comment, but her fingers explore, and before I can ask her what she’s doing, she twists in my arms, making me remove my fingers as she brings her body flush with mine.
Her eyes widen with intrigue and my heart slams in my chest, awed by having her in my arms.
“Can I try something?” she whispers, and I just about come from the desperate sound of her voice.
“Fuuck. Anything.”
I try to touch her again but she shakes her head, and I almost pout until she lowers my briefs, letting my cock spring free between us. She hesitates a beat before curling her fingers around my girth, rubbing her palm against my piercing.
“Jesus Christ,” my voice strains as I fight not to blow my load.
“You weren’t lying.”
“I wasn’t. Fuck, that feels good. I need to touch you again.” I am not opposed to begging.
Blair nods and I sigh in relief, shifting my focus back to her pleasure, pressing my fingers inside her as she experiments with my dick.
She sucks me in, her pussy so wet that I easily slide two fingers back inside her, pumping them in and out, my muscles tight with restraint.
I start slowly, but when her breathing picks up, I curl my fingers against her wall, hitting her G spot at the same time I roll my thumb over her clit.
“Oh, God. Zane.”
Blair squeezes my length as she comes hard, whispering my name, her body jolting, her arousal soaking my hand.
My stomach tightens as my release builds, and when I can’t hold back anymore, I roll her onto her back, letting her watch as I explode onto her, my cum coating her stomach and breasts.
She cries out, her body bucking off the bed as she stares at my pulsing cock, her lips parted in ecstasy.
The sated sight of her makes me feral, and an unrestrained groan rips from my throat.
It takes a minute for me to calm down and then I pump my cock one last time, biting back a smirk when Blair whimpers at the sight.
Nothing has changed. She always loved getting me off. Watching me fall apart. So much so that I bet I could pull another release from her now. With barely any effort.
Testing the theory, I wriggle down the bed until my mouth lines up with her pussy, and fuck me, it’s more beautiful than I remember—bare and soaked, glistening for more.
“Zane, what—”
Without letting her finish her question, I run a finger slowly through the arousal soaking her, moving toward her throbbing clit. I want to clean her with my tongue, but the second I press down on the sweet little bud, she cries out again, biting down on her hand as she thrashes against me.
I grin proudly, and maybe a little cocky too. But the real pleasure comes from knowing how much I still get her, how much I still understand.
My breathing returns to normal as I wait for hers to slow, moving up the bed, dropping down beside her as her warmth comforts me.
A beam of sunlight shines across her flushed skin, and a tightness works its way into my chest. “You are so fucking beautiful when you come apart like that. Thank you for letting me watch.”
Blair’s already pink cheeks brighten, and she shies away from me, until I grab her chin and force her to look. “I mean it, B. Everything about you is beautiful.”
“Even this?” she whispers, pointing to the sticky mess I made on her skin, a giggle escaping her.
“Especially that.” I chuckle, loving the way the heat returns to her gaze. Yeah, I may be a little possessive. But only for her.
Despite the intense desire to keep her branded with my cum, I grab a handful of tissues and clean her up as she watches me, her eyes wide, her lip trapped between her teeth.
When I’m done, she drags me back to bed, snuggling against me, her head on my chest.
Her eyes drift shut as I gently stroke her hair, and all too soon, my alarm goes off, the sound making me jump.
Slipping out of Blair’s hold, I rush to silence my phone, an apology on the tip of my tongue.
Only she doesn’t wake.
She’s so peaceful, I can’t bring myself to rouse her, but I have to go. I’ve already missed one practice this month. I can only imagine the consequences if I skip another.
Especially considering I left early last night.
As though doing a walk of shame, I quietly get dressed and sneak out of her room, tiptoeing down the hall.
My jacket’s not where I slipped out of it last night, but when I reach the entry, I find it on a coat rack and silently thank Jenna. There’s no way Cade was that thoughtful.
The door creaks as I open it, and I rush to leave when Cade’s angry groan stops me in my tracks. I freeze and then turn slowly, my heart pounding, my hands lifted in surrender. But he’s passed out on the couch, sleeping restlessly in true Cade fashion.
Thank fuck.
I chuckle to myself, and with one last glance toward Blair’s closed door, I slip away, a smile on my face, feeling lighter than I’ve felt in a very long time.