CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Zane
After convincing Blair that she didn’t do anything wrong, she finally falls asleep in my arms, her tears coating my chest. While I fight hard not to break down.
I can’t sleep, my stomach twisted in knots.
Nausea goddamn consumes me. Everything aches as I spiral into darkness.
I knew my actions that night—and in the lead-up—fucked up her life.
I’d been aware of that from the moment I walked away.
But I had no idea of the extent of her pain, the depths of her torment.
When I’m still awake at three a.m., I get up and pace the hallway, careful not to wake her but itching to do something.
Assault or not, what happened to Blair shouldn’t have happened. She never should have been at the party, but more than that, she shouldn’t have to walk around with that pain in her heart, that guilt weighing her down. It was bad enough that she thought the crash was her fault.
But having to carry this? When she doesn’t even know…
My stomach heaves and I fall into the wall before sliding to the floor, sinking my head into my hands.
I shouldn’t have left. I should have stayed to protect her. I should have been there to make her happier.
Always.
Iglance down at the address on my screen, silently thanking Jenna for once again helping me out.
After spending my morning at the stadium and hiding my feelings from Blair, I then watched her walk through the gates toward her plane, and rushed over to the information desk, booking my own flight.
I should have confronted Nathan well before now. But I’m finally righting that wrong.
Taking a deep breath, I look up at the complex in front of me and my nostrils flare.
This place doesn’t even suit Blair. There’s no greenery.
No warmth. Sure, the stems of the brightly colored flowers are green, but there’s no grass, no trees.
Even before I discovered Blair’s love of hiking, I knew she’d live somewhere surrounded by nature.
Not plants and flowers that look like they’ve been imported from other countries but native trees full of birds and wildlife.
I’m surprised she agreed to start a new life here.
But what do I know? I’m just the guy she had a fling with in high school. Nathan was supposed to be the real deal.
With a fresh anger coursing through me, I stride toward the condo at the back, a scowl forming as I go.
And by the time I reach his door, I’m ready to break something.
None of this even matters. It’s all superficial.
What matters is the fact that this fucker hurt Blair, and he deserves to feel even an ounce of the pain she feels.
He deserves to face the truth. That someone knows the man he truly is.
“Morgan!” I call out when I reach his front door, pounding my fist on the faded wood paneling. “It’s Tuesday so I know you don’t have practice.”
At least, that’s what Blair mentioned once when she was comparing our schedules. He could very well be out, but it’s nine a.m. so I doubt it. Unless he never came home.
When he doesn’t respond, I knock again, louder this time until I hear faint movement inside. The clunking gets louder before Nathan throws open the door, his glare matching my own.
“What the fuck do you want?”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m not in the mood for niceties. Did you think hiding Blair in the Storm suite would stop the world from seeing her?
One of my teammates texted me. His friend was taking a photo of that Hollywood actress.
And look who’s beside her.” He shows me the photo of Hayley and Blair.
“At a Storm game. Barely more than a week after we broke up. It’s fucking embarrassing.
So much for the breakup not being about you. That cheating—”
“Say another word, and as God is my fucking witness, I will end you. I don’t need much more of an excuse.”
“How many would that be then? Three? Or are there other deaths we don’t know about?” He smirks as his words slice me in half, but I smile through the pain.
“This isn’t about me, asshole. This is about you and Blair. More specifically, the fact that you fucked up her life. She deserved better than a piece of shit like you.”
“So, you’re the one that put that idea in her head.”
“Nope. If she said that to you, it’s all her. But I’m fucking proud of her for figuring it out.”
“Then I’ll repeat, what the fuck do you want?”
“I think you should invite me in. Trust me. You don’t want anyone to overhear what I’m about to say. Or your response.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Let. Me. In.”
“Jesus. Okay. You’re not a fucking vampire. If you’re that desperate, have at it.” Nathan steps aside and my skin burns as I walk past him. It’s definitely not me that’s the vampire. He’s the one that sucks the life out of anyone he comes into contact with.
He points me in the direction of the living room, and I actually laugh when I see the furnishings. “I bet Blair loved that couch,” I say sarcastically, and Nathan’s eyes widen.
“She probably told you.”
“She didn’t have to. I know her.”
“Fuck off. Say what you have to say so I can enjoy the rest of my day off. Your jealous rage must be important since you flew all this way to see me.”
“You’re going to wish that’s why I was here. Because what I have to say has nothing to do with jealousy.”
Nathan’s expression twists but it doesn’t bring me the satisfaction it should. “Get to the point,” he seethes and my knuckles ache from how tightly I’m clenching my fists, using all the restraint I have to hold back from knocking him out, before I have answers.
A little part of me knows I might be wrong, and I’m holding on to that knowledge with a tight grasp, but my grip is slipping. “Remember that fucked-up game you played in high school? The one that could send you to prison?”
Nathan’s eyes widen but he’s quick to school his features. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You don’t? Well, let me remind you.” I step closer, edging him back. “It involved the date rape drug and a handful of unsuspecting girls. Girls who just wanted to feel popular for once in their lives. Ring a bell?”
Nathan’s face pales but he stands a little taller, likely preparing himself to brush off whatever he thinks I’m about to say.
“I bet you thought no one knew,” I continue, studying his reaction. “I bet you thought you’d managed to get away with that fucked-up part of your life. Just because no one reported you. You were wrong.”
“You’re wrong. Like I said, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He shrugs and that little gesture pushes me over the edge. I move closer still and he shuffles back again, bumping into the wall behind him.
“Are you really going to deny it, fucker?”
“I don’t—”
“Cut the bullshit. It’s just you and me here. Man up for once; admit you did something wrong.”
“You’re delusional. Whatever proof you think you have—”
“My proof is Blair.”
“What?” Nathan recoils, his expression morphing to one of shock, and I have to admit his response appears genuine.
“You did it to Blair.”
“Why the fuck would I do it to Blair?” The conviction in his voice has me pausing momentarily. Is it possible he didn’t know?
“The night of the accident. She told me she didn’t want to sleep with you, and yet, for some reason she did.”
“What?” Nathan’s stunned for a beat until he blinks a few times and complete devastation flashes across his face. “I didn’t… I’d never… fuck.”
“Fuck, alright. Did you tell any of your teammates that you wanted her?”
“Yes, but—”
“Someone fucking drugged her, Nathan. And you took advantage of it.” There’s no way she drank enough to consider losing her virginity at a fucking party, not in that short space of time.
That’s not Blair. “Admit it. You know she’d never have slept with you that night if she’d been of sound mind. You’re not that blind.”
“No.” He shakes his head, and if I thought he was pale before, it’s nothing compared to now.
“Bullshit.”
“I love her.”
“It doesn’t make it right. Whether you drugged her or not, you were part of the game. You did this. It’s why she left. Why she called me. Why Sierra was driving that night.” Sierra’s name rolls easily off my tongue and it shocks me. But I don’t show it.
“No,” Nathan repeats. “No.”
“Yes! Blair trusted you. She came to your house because of your invitation. And you left her alone.”
“No. No.” Nathan’s denial comes back in full force, but this time he at least has the decency not to hide his emotions. He looks like he’s going to vomit.
“No, what, Nathan? No, you didn’t do it? Or no, you can’t believe that you took advantage of the girl you claim to love?”
Bile rises in my throat. They’d been playing that stupid game for years.
Plying girls with alcohol, then slipping them something to push them over the edge.
Most of the girls accepted what happened.
One of them even joked about it with Cade once.
That’s how we first found out. But when we’d asked around, we got a similar response.
They all laughed it off. Blamed themselves.
But we fucking suspected it and did nothing.
My throat burns as I turn away, needing a second so I don’t fall apart.
If I’d told the police what I thought—told anyone—Blair would never have been attacked.
Fuck, if Cade finds out, he’ll never forgive himself. Nor should I. We stayed quiet because it was easier than drawing attention to ourselves. No one would have believed us anyway. We had no proof.
Fuuuck.
My head spins but I refuse to let Nathan see it. I refuse to spiral. Not again.
“Tell me, asshole. Now.” I turn back to face him, my muscles tense, my venomous gaze locked on his.
“I didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know what?”
“That Blair had been drugged. She was on a no-go list. It was too dangerous. If she told you or Cade, you would have destroyed us all.”
Are you fucking kidding me? “She should have been on the no-go list because she’s not a toy for your fucking pleasure. Not to save your own ass. And while we’re on the topic, there shouldn’t have been a list to begin with because it shouldn’t have been fucking happening.”
My muscles ache from how tightly they’re wound and my head throbs. I let it happen.
I came here wanting to confront Nathan, to hurt him, but I’m just as bad as he is.
“Blair lost a piece of her soul that night. Because of you. Because of your games. You deserve to rot in hell. You deserve for me to call Cade so we can both beat the shit out of you. You deserve for me to tell Blair everything. But instead, I’m going to let you stew over this.
Then I expect you to tell her yourself. Do the right thing, or I’ll take it to the media. ”
I’m lying because I’d never do that to Blair, but if Nathan cares about anything, it’s his career and reputation.
He backs away, his body trembling as he covers his face with his hands. “I didn’t know. I didn’t—”
“It doesn’t matter. Maybe this will teach you to think about someone other than yourself. You’ve got twenty-four hours to tell her. I hope you spend that time drowning in shame.”
My face curls in disgust, and I make sure he sees it when I walk past, but the second I turn away, the disgust turns to anger. Everything comes back to that little fucker. It’s been like that for years. And now—
“I loved her, you know. I still love her. I’d never do anything to purposely hurt her. Not like you did.”
And my rage boils over.
My fists lock, and without thinking through the consequences, I spin around, covering the distance between us in two quick strides, rearing back my hand. “This is for Blair.”
My knuckles burn when they connect with his jaw, but I couldn’t give a fuck right now. This has been a long time coming.
“And this is for inviting her to one of your fucked-up parties.” My fist meets his face again, and I plan to go for round three until he begs me to stop.
“I’ll call her.” He sniffs, wiping his sleeve across his lip, staring down at the blood. “Just stop.”
“You’re lucky I’m not the asshole they say I am. And you’re lucky I believe you when you say you didn’t know. But if you don’t tell her, I won’t hesitate to fuck you up.”
I’m shaking as I turn around. My knuckles sting and my fist throbs, bruising already starting to appear, but it’s my chest that aches the most. All our pain could have been avoided. All of it. And as much as I’d love to blame Nathan, it all comes back to me.
The front door slams against the wall as I storm outside, my chest tight, my lungs burning.
I struggle to take in air, and I’m dizzy as I walk down the steps.
My phone rings, but it takes me a second to register the sound. “Yeah,” I answer without checking the screen, grabbing the wall for support.
“Zane Fitzpatrick?”
“Yes.”
“This is Sergeant Lennon from the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office.”
Fuck. My ears ring as the world around me fades.
“How can I help?” I respond nonchalantly while inside my stomach is churning.
“Circumstances have changed and we need you to come in for some additional questions.”
“Can I do it over the phone or—”
“We’ll see you here tomorrow. District One in Jacksonville.”
My head screams no, but I have no fucking idea what I respond or if I even bother to speak before hanging up. I can’t even remember how I got back to my rental. But the second I’m inside, my body crumbles and I struggle to fight back tears.
And while I’m aware of how fucked I might be, all I can think about is Blair.
One more thing that is going to crush her.