Chapter 10
JOSIE
I tossed and turned much of the night. One moment, I’d be stuck in a recurring anxiety dream, like trying to get on a public bus, unable to move with everyone lining up behind me, yelling at me. Then suddenly, I was dreaming about Killian and the way he looked, holding onto the door frame.
No matter what I was dreaming of, though, I woke up more exhausted than rested.
When I finally got up, the whole house was quiet. It remained quiet most of the day, and I puttered around before settling in for a couple of movies. I let myself take a day off from the meringue. I could fight with that another day.
Killian got home a little later than normal from his hour commute from Plattsburgh.
“I’ve got pizza!” He announced before he’d even fully shut the front door.
“How’d you know I was starving?” I paused the movie I had been watching and made my way to the kitchen.
I tried assessing Killian’s tone and demeanor, but got nothing.
If anything had shifted between us the night before, I couldn’t tell.
“I got your favorite.”
“How do you know my favorite?” Maybe something had shifted.
“You’ve gotten pizza a few times since moving in, and every single time you get sausage and mushrooms.”
“You, you’ve noticed?” I felt embarrassed. I didn’t think he paid much attention to what I ate. And I wasn’t likely to leave behind remnants.
Along with anxiety, I’d always struggled with food, too. I always felt like people were judging me based on what they saw me eat, so at some point, I’d stopped eating in front of people as much as I could.
“Yeah. Because it’s my favorite too.” He looked at me with a smile, but dropped it when he saw my expression. “What? What is it? Did I say something wrong?”
“Huh? Um, no.” I smiled weakly at him before forcing myself to slide one slice of pizza onto the plate he’d handed me.
“Is that really all you’re going to eat right now?”
“Um, to start, yeah.”
“I thought you said you were starving?”
“I, uh.” I searched for an excuse. “I don’t want to eat too fast.”
Killian slowly nodded and seemed to drop it.
Thank god.
“Alright, what non-Christmas movie are we going to watch tonight?”
“Non-Christmas? Excuse me, but you’re going to have to watch one with me before this season is over.”
“It’s not even December yet, Josie.”
“And?”
“And are you trying to make me suffer?”
“You threatened to decapitate my elf!”
“You put him in my boxers!”
“You weren’t wearing them at the time.”
“That was a total invasion of privacy.”
“Then why’d you do it back to me?”
“It was only fair.”
I rolled my eyes at him and laughed. “Fine, I’ll give it to you. But still, you’ve got to watch at least one Christmas movie with me.”
Killian sat there thinking. “Fine. I have one.”
I sat there, eagerly waiting for him to tell me. But when he finally did, I thought I was going to combust.
“Die Hard.”
“D—Die Hard? You’re not serious, are you?”
“Yep. Why? What’s wrong with what I said?”
“Die Hard is not a Christmas movie!”
“It is too! It happens at a Christmas party.”
“No, it happens in a building that happens to be having a Christmas party.”
“And? What’s the difference?”
“What’s the difference? Just because you put an apple and an orange in the same bowl doesn’t make them both the same fruit!”
“It happens at Christmas!”
“I can’t believe I’m having this argument.”
“You really hate this, don’t you?” Killian sat up. His tone was mocking me.
“Look, if anything, Die Hard is Christmas adjacent. Yes, there are Christmas elements, but the main storyline is not about Christmas. It’s about Bruce Willis trying to prevent a terrorist attack on the building. There just happened to be a Christmas party.”
I waited for Killian’s rebuttal, but it didn’t come.
“Fine. I’ll give you that. And honestly, that actually works better for me if it’s not a Christmas movie.”
“Good. Now, what are we going to watch?”
“Die Hard.”
I rolled my eyes and groaned, but still settled in, letting him have it. It wasn’t much, but it was the tiniest crack in his Grinch exterior.
We sat on the couch together, munching on pizza as we watched the movie. I barely stayed awake through all of it, which Killian gave me shit for anytime he caught me dozing off.
And as much as I loved the movie, the moment the credits started rolling, I was shifting my body so I could stand up.
“I’m going to bed.” I patted Killian’s knee as I stood up and made my way to my bedroom.
“I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow.”
I’d barely crawled into bed when I heard what sounded like a knock on the door.