Chapter 33
Seren
Rykr kept his arm around me as we hurried from the temple. The Seidr’s transformation had been appalling, but her words—those had been terrifying.
I wasn’t even sure if I understood them correctly.
“Did she say I’m dying?” I managed at last.
Rykr didn’t falter. “She was a deranged old woman. I wouldn’t think twice about anything she said.”
I pulled away from him as we reached the street.
Being under the mountain of Emberstone suddenly choked me. I wanted to run in a field, feel the wind on my face, see the stars. The noise, the streets, the dizzying amount of people overwhelmed me.
I need air.
Rykr searched my gaze, surprisingly calm. Then again, he hadn’t just been told that a divine oath might kill him. “For all we know, that Seidr was a part of Haldron’s games. She found us, rather than the other way around. She may have been ordered to say that.”
“Then how did she know the things she knew?” I pointed back at the temple. “She clearly knew things—things no one could have told her. And if she’s right, it means …”
I’m really dying.
If the bond killed me, wouldn’t Rykr die too? Wasn’t that how it worked?
The Seidr hadn’t said that.
Rykr scowled. “Seidrs are masters of manipulation. She could be lying … or telling the truth in a way that only benefits her.”
His words made sense, but my unease didn’t fade. “What if she’s right?”
Rykr frowned, but he set his hands on my shoulders. “Half the nonsense she spewed didn’t make any sense. And why would my taking the Oath of Bryndis unleash evil within you? It didn’t happen to me, did it?”
I hesitated. Seidr spoke in riddles, but their words weren’t lies. Their magic was the same as Ibarran—and I trusted that.
“Seidrs pass along prophecy. Just because we don’t like it doesn’t mean we can change fate.”
Rykr’s mouth turned downward. “If you believe all fate is fixed. But we have choice, Seren. We can make our fates. If you didn’t believe that you’d be more frightened of your twin brother and sister, wouldn’t you?”
He was trying to make me feel better, but right now, I didn’t want comfort.
“What now?” Rykr’s calm tone grated against the storm in my chest.
“I don’t know!” The words burst out before I could stop them. “We came here for answers, and all we got were riddles and death threats. How am I supposed to process that?”
He frowned, his jaw tightening. “I’m trying to protect you. Simple as that.”
“Simple?” I snapped, my voice rising. “Nothing about this is simple.”
His gaze softened, and I hated how it disarmed me. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, his hand brushing against mine. “I just don’t want to lose you.”
The words silenced me. I don’t want to lose you either.
And I was suddenly exhausted. Solric. For all I knew, I had less than twenty-four hours.
Either the Skorn trial would kill me, or the bond would.
The desire in me to fight, to unravel the deeper meaning behind the Seidr’s words was secondary to my need to simply live.
The weight of everything on my heart might break me otherwise.
Moistening my lips, I nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay.” Rykr squeezed my shoulders then leaned forward, kissing my forehead, gently.
I think he meant to pull away right away, but he didn’t. Instead, his arms wrapped around my back, holding me in a comforting embrace. The warmth of him seeped into my skin, steadying me as I closed my eyes, lost to the solid press of his body.
“She cannot survive the bond … he will release a great evil inside her.”
Either way, I was fucked.
Except in the literal sense of the word, and that’s my fault, too.
Kissing Rykr had unleashed every desire I’d been denying the last few days. Even now, I could picture every hard ridge of muscle, the crimson and black tattoos lining his skin. When he’d stripped off his shirt and offered to take my flogging, he’d looked like something carved from legend.
The Seidr’s words echoed in my mind. “His blood is precious.” Precious. Why? Because he was Sealed? He’d been selected from millions by that—set apart. Or was there more?
He’d always been different—polished, disciplined, too refined to be an ordinary soldier from Pendara. And the way he fought, the way he carried himself … it didn’t match the story he’d told me about being disowned by his father.
Who was he? And what wasn’t he telling me?
I pulled away from him, wanting to stop the warring thoughts within my mind as we started back toward the Bellwether.
Truth was, despite the risk I’d taken, I couldn’t regret saving Rykr’s life at all. He challenged me in ways I didn’t expect. Growing up with the Viori, whenever my parents had spoken positively of Liriens, I’d always just assumed they were reminiscing through nostalgic lenses.
The more time I spent with Rykr, the more I wondered if the Viori’s stories were half-truths at best. The Viori taught us that Liriens were monsters, their Bloodbinding a symbol of their cruelty. But Rykr didn’t seem cruel.
He’d bled for me, fought for me, stood by me when I didn’t deserve it. How many Viori would do the same for a Lirien?
Maybe the Viori weren’t so different from the Liriens. Both sacrificed their own for the illusion of safety, for power disguised as tradition. The thought left a bitter taste in my mouth.
The soft brush of Rykr’s thumb against the back of my hand pulled me from my thoughts.
A sad smile crossed my lips.
I liked Rykr. So much.
Had he been anyone else, I would have fallen for him easily, and not just because he was so utterly attractive.
But our visit to the Seidr had affirmed what my mother had said—I needed to keep my distance from him. Guard my heart.
But it was too late for that.
I love him.
The bond hadn’t done that. Even though he still kept secrets, even though he mocked me at times, my feelings had taken root. There was so much to process, but what kept echoing in my mind were his words before we … before I nearly killed him.
“I care about you, Seren Ragnall. More than I should. Not because you’re not worthy but because my life is a threat to yours for reasons you can’t possibly imagine.
And still, I can’t decide what worries me more—the thought of someone using us against each other, or the idea that if the bond is broken, I’ll no longer feel you, hear you …
sense you. You’ve consumed me, Seren, and I fucking can’t stand the thought of you not being a part of me. ”
That was why I loved him.
Because, like him, I couldn’t fathom not hearing him, feeling him, sensing him.
“Tell me something true,” I said, desperate to shake off the melancholy pressing in on me.
“It will rip her apart. Without balance, the power will consume one of you.”
“Something true …” He glanced at me, as though weighing my expectations. The movement on the streets was a steady thrum around us, somehow less threatening when he held my gaze.
He was silent for a long moment, then said, in a quiet voice, “I’ve been to every realm in Lirien, and I’ve never met anyone more fascinating than you, Seren.”
Ugh. Was he trying to make me fall for him all over again?
When I didn’t respond, he said, “Something the matter?”
“No,” I choked out. “I just … haven’t ever met someone who’s been to every realm of Lirien. Which realm did you like the best?”
“No, it’s your turn. Didn’t you ever want to visit anywhere outside of the forest? Make up your mind about Lirien for yourself?”
His question struck deep to the heart of me. Like he knew—somehow—the quiet war I’d fought within myself, torn between the love my parents had carried for their homelands and the identity I’d built as Viori.
“I was curious,” I said, at last, voicing what I’d never admitted to anyone before. “But I knew it wasn’t possible for me. So I read about them as much as I could.”
“Of course you did.” His voice was like a warm cloak inside me. “Which realm would you have visited if you could have?”
“Ibarra,” I said without hesitation. “My mother used to tell me about the cities there, like Caral, where the streets shine with enchanted light. I used to dream of seeing them for myself.”
Rykr’s lips quirked in a faint smile. “Caral is as beautiful as they say. But Ibarra’s magic doesn’t hold a candle to Suomelin.” His voice softened. “That’s where I’d go if I could. One more day in the Golden City …”
The wistfulness in his tone made my chest ache.
My parents had fallen in love there. “Is your family still in Ederyn?”
“I don’t have much of a family anymore. Most of them are dead.”
The tightness of his voice betrayed his sorrow, even if he’d said it flatly.
“I’m sorry.” I stopped and brushed my fingers along his cheek, a gentle caress. “I didn’t realize—”
“I know.”
As we walked up the steps to the Bellwether, the depth of his grief carried through our bond, stealing my breath. Rykr had carried this pain alone, buried so tightly inside him it threatened to choke him. Compared to that, my complaints about my own life seemed like insignificant whining.
And he wouldn’t have breathed a word of it to me.
He would have just carried it, his armor up, impenetrable shields around his heart well masked by sarcastic quips and charm and swagger.
His life hadn’t been as charmed as I’d thought, given the way he carried himself.
He might be lonelier, sadder than I’d realized.
I couldn’t imagine losing several members of my family—Esme’s kidnapping had nearly destroyed us all.
“Rykr, I …” Maybe it was stupid, but I wanted to soothe that wound inside him.
I didn’t know what to say. We’d both had our secrets, didn’t we? I hadn’t told him about Esme, just like he hadn’t told me about his family. Why hadn’t I? Maybe because her kidnapping haunted me in a way I hadn’t been ready to share with him.
And maybe he’s not ready to share, either.
I unlocked the door and stepped inside. The enchanted lights flared on, flameless candles burning in their lamps.