Chapter 33 #2
I expected Rykr to follow me, but when I turned, he was still by the closed door, resting his back against it. Studying me.
“Do you want to remain Viori?” The question was blunt, his eyes narrowing in the corners, his gaze penetrating. “If we survive the Skorn, would you go with me to Lirien?”
He didn’t have to explain why he spoke through the bond. Given everything we’d been through, this was safer.
He was offering his hand. Drawing a line in the sand and giving me a choice. My heart burned within my chest. “Would you ever turn your back on Lirien?”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.” His voice was a sharp hiss inside me.
“Neither do you, Rykr. I love my people. This is my home. Yes, war may be coming, but I believe in the Viori cause. Don’t you see how harmful the Bloodbinding is?”
‘The war between Lirien and Viori is no longer just about the Bloodbinding.” His voice was bitter. “And going to Lirien may be the only way for you—us—to live.”
The conversation had veered far from where I’d intended. I closed the gap between us and slipped my hands into his. “Then let’s not talk about it anymore,” I said. “Let’s go to sleep. Our next move can wait until tomorrow.”
He nodded, his expression unreadable as his fingers curled against mine. “Speaking of our next move … there’s someone I need you to meet.”
I stiffened. “Your friend?” Oh gods, had he remained in the city?
If I was found in the company of a Lirien …
I took a deep, tired breath. “Not tonight. Tonight, I want to sleep. Forget that I’m dying because of the oath.
That it doesn’t matter whether I survive the Skorn—my fate is decided.
That I betrayed my people, protecting you, enabling a skinwraith attack.
That Moira was attacked, Giulia was killed, and Esme was kidnapped …
and I’ve dragged my friends into treason. I can’t take anything more.”
Something in his face hardened, became more distant. He released me and sat on the edge of the bed. “I ruined your life, didn’t I?” He dragged his hands over his face, exhaling a breath heavy with sorrow.
When he looked up at me, his expression was raw.
“All my life, Seren, I’ve only brought destruction whenever I tried to help.
Those fire powers I told you about? I set more than one fire accidentally.
I couldn’t control it—the rage that came with anger.
Justified or not. My father thought I was worthless and sent me away.
The Seal changed that, but I lost everything I’d been up to that point.
I’m not even sure I know who I am anymore, but somehow, I still keep destroying, even when I don’t want to. Hurting those who don’t deserve it.”
I bent down and unlaced my boots, taking a moment to process his words.
That is his something true.
And he’d so bravely said something so raw and unpolished.
I’d wanted him to tell me who he was and, somehow, this cut deeper to the heart of him than anything else.
Sitting beside him, I tucked my legs up onto the bed and studied his profile. Neither of us was stronger than the other. We both had our fears, our wounds, our burdens.
And we both needed each other now. It was selfish of me to think that I was the only one in pain tonight.
“I know who you are.”
He jerked his chin up, his frown deepening. “What?”
I offered a tentative smile. “I know who you are. You’re Rykr Westhaven. The man who saved my life. You’re honorable. Brave. And worthy of any role thrust upon him.”
He shut his eyes, his throat bobbing as his jaw set. “But who’s to say I won’t ruin more, Seren? That my choices won’t lead to more destruction? Make this world worse for the people around me?”
“You won’t.”
Incredulity shone in his blue-green eyes. “You don’t know that.”
“I do.” I scooted closer and brushed my thumb against his lower lip, slow and deliberate. “Because only good men worry about things like that. And you don’t believe in fate anyway, remember? Make your own fate, Rykr—if you dare. Defy them all.”
“I’m going to kiss you, you know that?” His hands framed my face, fingers threading into the hair just behind my ears. “I’m going to kiss you, and I won’t want to stop.”
“You’re not afraid of me?” I arched a brow. “After last time—”
He cut me off with a hard, possessive kiss. As his tongue swept into my mouth, colliding with mine, I had my answer.
I need him.
He pulled away, eyes smoldering as he stood, a slow smile curving his lips. “If we might die, this is a preferrable way, wouldn’t you say?” He reached for the belt at his waist.
The Vangar leathers suited him—fierce, rugged, powerfully built. As he unlaced the leather bracers, I bit the inside of my lower lip. Forearms shouldn’t be so sexy—or maybe I’d just never seen forearms like his.
Sinewed muscle, tightly corded to the elbow, a dusting of dark hair. The sculpted biceps, the broad shoulders—he moved with the ease of a warrior who knew his own strength. The feral instinct to glide my hands up those arms and be wrapped in his embrace took over rational thought.
He lifted his gaze to me then, as though noticing the heat of my stare, and the barest hint of a smirk tugged at his lips.
Gods, that chest.
He was so jaw-droppingly gorgeous that it made my thighs ache. I pressed my knees together. The tattoo from the rune oath on his neck and shoulder blended seamlessly with the Seal that wrapped around from the back.
Mine.
Possessiveness slunk through me. Plenty of women had watched him with admiration in their eyes during the sparring matches. But he was my husband.
And I want him. No matter who he is.
A shiver went through me as I stared at Rykr, the question burning deeply inside me. Though I could barely remember it now, Rykr’s hair was golden when I’d met him. And he was Unbound … Ederyn.
My breath went shallow as a possibility took shape.
He might not be Rykr Westhaven.
Or a spy, either.
“Rykr,” I whispered. I didn’t want him to be anyone else. The idea was terrifying, opening doors I didn’t want to consider. “Are you …” I couldn’t force the words out.
Rykr’s jaw tensed as though he knew and understood my thoughts. With a steady gaze, he came closer and pulled me to stand in front of him.
“I do need to tell you something.” His voice was quiet, but sure. “I’m in love with you, Seren. And since we might die tomorrow, you deserve to know the truth. It’s not the bond. Not magic. It’s you. I love you with every beat of my heart.”
I sucked in a shattered breath, the trembling in my body stilling. As I closed my eyes, he drew me closer, and I sagged against his chest. He’d become the air I needed to breathe, even when my mind couldn’t fully accept or believe in his trustworthiness.
His lips dipped against my temple, kissing me with a tenderness I didn’t expect. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I didn’t even know what he was apologizing for.
Then he pulled away. “I wish we weren’t Lirien and Viori. There’s no one I want to be enemies with less than you. I know you might not want to hear it, but I love you.”
Despite my best efforts, despite the pain and the uncertainty and everything else between us, the tightness around my heart nearly suffocated me.
“Rykr …” I lifted my eyes to his, my heart aching at the reality of what I refused to admit—of who he might be. “I love you, too,” I managed in a whisper.
He cupped my face in his hands. “You’re making it impossible for me to stay away from you, Seren.
” His thumb swept across my cheek, eliciting a shiver through me, then settled on the soft, fullest part of my lower lip.
As he drew his thumb down slowly, my lips parting, I released a gentle, throaty moan, my eyes fluttering shut.
Then his lips were on mine, warm and insistent, one hand sliding around my waist and pulling me against him.
He kissed that spot on my mouth where his thumb had been, as his hand cradled the nape of my neck, and his fingers tangled in my hair.
With gentle pressure, his lips moved expertly against my own, urging them to part, his tongue teasing a gentle swipe against mine.
“Fuck, I missed the way you taste.”
His voice in my head unraveled me. I clung to him, my arms twining around his neck, my weight melting into his. My mouth opened to his and the kiss deepened, his taste, his breath, his tongue consuming mine as my body burned with desire for him.
His hands glided down my sides, deftly unfastening my vest. The fabric slipped away, and before I could draw another breath, he tugged my shirt over my head, the heat of his gaze searing my skin.
His pants and shirt came off just as quickly.
His eyes darkened as they roamed over me, hunger sharpening every line of his face. “You have a fucking perfect body.”
Oh gods. Only someone a lot stronger might have resisted the temptation he offered, but I didn’t want to resist.
I wanted his hands on me. Now.
I pressed against him, our bodies fitting together in a way that felt devastatingly right. His tongue stroked mine. Claiming. Teasing. Taunting.
More.
More.
More.
My breasts were heavy with desire, my hardening nipples rubbing against the chiseled planes of his chest as his hand splayed across my back, pushing my waist against his rigid, impressively large cock.
I groaned, wanting to wrap my fingers around him—no—have all of him inside me, deep, relentless, until nothing else in the world existed but this.
Despite the difference in our sizes, I fit against him like I was made for him. Like we were inevitable. A perfect balance of fire and ice, strength and surrender. Right.
This was right.
How it should be.
Him and me. Us.
One.
I tore my lips from his, breathless, fingers tightening around his. His gaze was molten heat, his chest rising and falling in heavy, uneven breaths.
“Come with me.”
His mouth quirked in a wicked smirk. “I’d like to.”
I laughed and pulled him onto the bed.