Chapter 4 Cash #2
“Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my prez?” I ask, only half joking.
“I’m your prez, but I’m Freya’s husband.
Or almost husband. I know a thing or two about being a partner to someone who lives in chaos.
Different kind, but there have been plenty of times I’ve had to be Freya’s calm, especially when she was in the middle of her case against Cataldi.
” The two have been engaged for quite some time, but neither seems to be in too much of a hurry to walk down the aisle.
“Don’t think I haven’t seen the way you’re attuned to her at parties.
At the slightest hint of anything uncomfortable for her, the two of you disappear. ”
“Crowds can be tough for her sometimes, and she doesn’t like relying on her sister for every little thing. Her words, not mine.”
“No. But neither of you has a problem with her relying on you.”
“Relied. Past tense,” I grumble.
“And you fucking hate it,” Ozzy surmises from my tone.
“Yeah, I do.”
He tilts his head, studying me. “Have you thought about telling her how you feel?”
“I did. I told her that I wished she would talk to me. Let me help her.”
My prez scoffs at me. “Not that part, dumbass.”
My brow crinkles. I’m not understanding what the hell he’s talking about.
Ozzy shakes his head. “When she came here, you were both going through a lot. We’d just lost Cooper, and I know that shit hit you hard.
The kid grew up with you. You felt a responsibility toward him, probably more so than the rest of us.
Cece had just come from that nightmare in the desert.
Both of you needed the quiet the other offered.
The peace. There was a time I thought you were going to claim her. And then…”
“She got fucking pissed and pushed everyone away. Eventually even me,” I finish.
“So what are you going to do about it?” he asks, cocking his head to the side.
“Not much I can do. Can’t exactly force her to do something she doesn’t want to,” I reply.
“I must have got it wrong then.” Ozzy shrugs and stands, walking out the door to leave me with my thoughts.
Claim Cece? I have no idea what would have given him that impression.
Were there times I thought about what it would be like to hold her in my arms and trail my lips over all of her smooth, silky skin?
Sure. Plenty of times, if I’m honest. I may have even envisioned what her pale-blonde hair would feel like wrapped in my fist as I claim her mouth a time or two…
hundred. But that doesn’t mean I can act on it.
She’s Lucy’s little sister—and she’s been through hell.
She needs to get her bearings, and that doesn’t include a biker more than ten years older than her forcing himself into her life.
I rise from the table and head into the main room of the clubhouse, spotting Linc and Jude sitting at the bar while Barrett and Braxton are playing a game of pool. Ozzy must have headed to his office to go through the mounds of paperwork on his desk.
Waving to the brothers, I head outside to my bike just as Wyatt starts his.
“Where you headed?” I ask as he pulls up next to me.
“Maizie has work, so I’m going home to hang with Colby,” he answers.
Cece used to watch Colby on the nights Maizie worked. But she hasn’t been over there in weeks now.
“Alright, brother. See you later,” I say, and Wyatt nods then heads toward the gate where the prospect is opening it for him.
Climbing on my bike, I start the engine with no particular destination in mind, just a need to get out on the open road for a few hours.
I head out of the clubhouse parking lot and take off in the opposite direction from town.
This used to be the direction I would take when Cece would need to get out on the bike.
I liked the fact that she called me to help her turn her brain off. Really liked it.
And fuck, I miss it.
The sun is beating down on my back as I wind through the country roads outside of town. These late summer days are hot as hell. Before long, I find myself at a crossroads. If I turn left, the road will take me back to the clubhouse. Right takes me to a little house I bought a few years ago.
I turn right.
When I pull onto the long drive, I slow my bike, not wanting to kick up too many rocks.
Though I’ve owned the house for over three years, I’ve never moved in.
Cooper and I were fixing it up after having bought it at an auction.
The house sat empty for a few years, so there was a lot of work to be done.
Cooper and I tackled the project together, but I was never sure if it was going to be somewhere I’d settle in.
I’d planned to let Coop and his sister, Nova, live in the house when he patched in, which would’ve absolutely happened before he was shot trying to protect Lucy.
His plan was to bring Nova up here once he started making some “real money,” as he liked to call it.
Not sure if she would have gone for it, but it gave him something more to look forward to.
I walk up the stairs of the two-story white farmhouse to the wraparound porch.
Cooper used to talk about how great the porch would look once everything was sanded and finished.
We were about halfway through before his death, and I haven’t done any work on it since.
I only come out here about once a month to check on things and make sure no animals have made their homes inside the house.
When I open the front door, the air is stale, so I keep it open, thankful that one of the first things we replaced in the house was the screen door. Heading into the kitchen, my gaze catches on the new appliances still sitting in the middle of the room in their packaging.
I had every intention of offering the house to Nova when Cooper died, but when I called her, she made it clear as day that she wanted no part of the Black Roses or me.
For nearly two years, she blamed the club for Cooper’s death.
Hell, I blamed myself, so I wasn’t exactly in a position to argue with her.
Walking over to the tap, I turn on the water.
I’ve kept the utilities of the house turned on, even though I don’t spend any time here.
I’ve always had the intention of coming back and finishing the work Cooper and I started, but it’s hardly been a priority.
Maybe I should change that. At least get it in good enough condition to sell and buy something closer to town.
I turn the tap off and walk into the empty living room and look over the papers strewn across the card table I’d set up in here.
Lists and invoices, paint swatches and carpeting, and hardwood samples for flooring.
Cooper used to joke that I would have made one hell of an interior designer in another life.
A smile tips the corner of my mouth as I remember the way he loved to give me a hard time, like the little brother I considered him to be.
I always got him back, though, especially after a clubhouse party.
We aren’t the kind of assholes who don’t let prospects party with us—as long as they’re taking care of the brothers and the women.
But there were plenty of times Cooper would stumble into the kitchen after a night of hard drinking, and I’d immediately hand him a broom and mop with a smirk on my face.
The kid never complained, though. It was part of his initiation, and he wanted to be a brother more than anything.
“Fuck,” I breathe out as thoughts of the scene we rode up to after the shooting play through my head. The car was flipped over, and Cooper was lying in the driver’s seat with a bullet hole through his head.
“Fuck!” I scream and swipe my arm across the table, sending papers and samples flying.
I look down and see the corner of a picture.
Bending to pick it up, I see it’s of me and Cooper when he first got to Shine.
We’re standing in front of the bike I was helping him rebuild.
The kid was a wiz on a dirt bike and used to ride that around when he was younger and living in Louisiana.
When I’d come back home for a visit, he’d show me some hunk of junk he’d scrounged up and gotten running.
He was a natural mechanic. But this was his first “real” bike.
He was so damn proud that he found it for a steal.
I don’t remember who took the picture, but I remember being happy that he was up here with me and my brothers.
I was thrilled that I was able to help out a kid from my hometown find a place in this world.
Then it all went to shit.
And nothing has felt right—felt settled—since.
There were a few moments when the pain didn’t feel like it was burning itself into my soul.
That was when I spent time with Cece, but that hasn’t been the case for the last several weeks.
Ozzy was right when he said we found peace in being alone with each other.
There was a comfort in her presence that calmed the chaos in me.
The same way I hoped I did for her. But her chaos has exploded and is out of control now, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to help her through it this time.