Chapter 27 #2
Over the course of my life, I’d felt all the different shades of anger.
From mildly irritated to red hot fury. But never had I felt it vibrate in my bones.
Never had I felt it seep so deep into my soul I was certain I’d lost whatever humanity I had left.
The urge to maim and torture had taken over.
The need to unleash the devil within and make Damion bleed.
Visions of Stella’s mutilated back danced in my mind’s eye.
Gashes so deep they needed to be stitched.
Her beautiful skin damaged and bloody. Desperation clawed at my insides—a craving to hear the fucker’s cries, a yearning to paint the walls and floor with his blood, a need to draw out his pain until he begged me to end his life.
“Cash?”
“Quiet, baby girl, I’m deep in a torture fantasy.”
Unfortunately, my fantasy went up in smoke when something she said hit me.
I promised myself one day he’d feel the bite of that leather strap.
It would be me who would dish out the pain he loved to inflict.
Nothing was going to calm the rage inside of me so I didn’t bother trying, which meant when I swallowed all I could taste was the possibility of losing my shot at taking out the fucker who had hurt Stella.
“How badly do you need this?” I begrudgingly asked.
“It has to be me. Not only because of what he did to me, but for what he stole from Cara.”
It was good she brought up the little girl. I wasn’t above using her to get my way.
“About Cara. How exactly do you plan to take out Damion when you have her to worry about?”
“She had a nanny, Flora. She’d been with Cara since Donna went back to work when she was about a year old. She retired but she’ll come back to help me with Cara when the time comes.”
Over my dead body would Cara be left with a nanny.
“She stays with me—”
“Cash—”
“Nope. No arguing. No negotiating. It fucks me to say this, but I get it. As much as I want it to be me, I understand why it has to be you. But while you’re doing it, it’ll be me keeping Cara safe, not some nanny. It’ll be me watching your back.”
“Cash!” she grunted.
“As much as I love you growling my name, Stella, straight-up there’s no changing my mind.”
I braced for the sharp edge of Stella’s tongue. Something we shared in common—neither of us liked to be backed into a corner and both of us would fight our way out.
Therefore, I was wholly unprepared when she simply whispered, “Why?”
“I already told you why. I promised myself that once I found you, I wasn’t letting you or Cara go.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Yes you do, you’re just too scared to admit it because you know once you acknowledge the truth it’ll open you up to the possibility of pain. Ask me how I know.”
Instead of giving me a verbal answer she shook her head. I shoved my hand under the pillow, wrapped my hand around hers, and squeezed.
“Be brave with me, Stella.”
Another shake of her head accompanied by a tight grip on my hand. I leaned across the space that separated us and rested my forehead on hers.
“Be brave, Stella, and ask me how I know.”
“How do you know?” It was barely a breath, a sigh that had the words floating between us.
“Because I was too terrified to recognize what I was feeling. I was too scared to admit who was standing right in front of me, and because of that I almost lost the one thing I’ve wanted more than anything but was too scared to hope was out there.
But months later you, or the universe, or God, gave me something so pure, so precious, it cut through all that fear.
I had no choice but to surrender or live the rest of my life regretting that I lied to myself and I’d have to live with the knowledge I was such a coward I turned my back on something beautiful. ”
“You’ve known her days,” Stella rightly pointed out.
“It was the second time I’d fallen in love on sight. The second time I looked into a pair of blue eyes and knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. The first time I fucked it and nearly lost my shot. I’m not dumb enough to make the same mistake a second time.”
She jerked her head back, putting distance between us. “You can’t.”
“I can and so can you. We just have to stick together. Be brave with me, Stella. Leave the past where it belongs. Drop the walls, the facade, the mask, Lore, leave it all behind and step out of the darkness with me.”
That moment of hesitation burned but I understood it. Just because I’d waved the white flag and conceded didn’t mean that the fear didn’t linger. If anything, it had grown. I played my hand and now it was up to her to catch my play or drop it.
“For Cara?”
“No, Stella, for us. I see you and part of the reason I do is because you see me. Not the Cash is King bullshit, not my ego, not the armor—me. And there is no way in fuck I’m letting you go.”
She was already shaking her head again.
“Cash—”
I dropped my mouth to hers, cutting off her protest. Words would never work with Stella—she needed proof, she needed action, she needed me to dig that fear out and while I was doing that, I’d let her do the same for me.
No more walls.
No more shields.
“Be brave,” I whispered against her lips before my tongue traced the seam of her lips.
As soon as they parted, I took advantage and got my first taste of the woman who owned me. Her tongue darted in, tangling with mine in a show of power and control. There was nothing tentative about Stella—she was a fighter, she needed dominance to feel safe.
But here in our bed, with my mouth on hers, she was going to learn there was safety in her surrender.
I deepened the kiss. With every stroke of my tongue I felt her soften until I’d stripped back all her layers of control, tasting the power of her submission.
I ended the kiss.
That was enough for now.
“Sleep, baby girl. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”
Her sigh was tinged with so much irritation I nearly smiled.