Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
I stared at Cash and Cara. They were sitting on the couch, Cara leaning against Cash’s large frame, smiling as she pointed to something in the book she’d brought home—whoa, not home—to Cash’s house.
As if he knew I was watching, his eyes tipped up from the page and zeroed in on me.
And this right here had always been my problem.
As soon as those blue eyes touched any part of me, I felt the snap of our connection.
He had one thing right last night; he saw me—me, Stella.
From the first time I’d sat across the table from him he’d seen past all my bullshit, just as I’d seen past his.
Someone with romantic ideas filling their head would call us kindred spirits.
I’d call it trauma recognizing trauma. But that didn’t stop my stupid heart from beating a little faster when he was near.
Trauma bonding, nothing more. And maybe a whole lot of lust dressed up in pretty lies.
The kind I told myself when I was alone in bed at night convincing myself I could be normal.
I could give and receive love when the truth was I could do neither.
My father had made sure I’d always know my place, using my brother to reinforce his teachings.
I glanced back at Cara—head bent, finger touching something on the page, a gentle smile on her lips.
Except for her. I’d always love Cara, and maybe if I could do right by her, she’d love me back. And I might even deserve it after a while.
Cash’s phone ringing pulled me from my thoughts.
I went back to the laptop in front of me.
At Cash’s decree, we were working from home—not home—Cash’s house.
I hadn’t finished reading the first sentence of the report Kira had sent over when two things happened at once—neither registering quick enough.
Cash calling out my name and glass shattering.
But he hadn’t called out for Stella. He’d shouted for Lore.
I pitched to the side, hit the floor just as bullets tore through the living room. It took more time than it should’ve for my training to kick in, long enough for fear to saturate and my voice to crack when I screamed, “Cara!”
“Covered,” Cash yelled back over the glass shattering and wood splintering. “Kitchen. Top shelf in the pantry. Glock. MP5.”
I hesitated a moment—Cara or weapons? Trust Cash would protect Cara or go to her and do it myself?
Shit.
I rolled to my knees and crawled in the direction of the kitchen.
Just as quickly as the ear-splitting sounds disrupted the peace, they stopped, leaving an eerie silence. I heard Cara whimper, Cash grunt, and my own heartbeat pounding as I reached the pantry, stood, and made quick work of grabbing the weapons Cash had hidden.
The familiar weight of the Glock in my hand did nothing to calm my nerves. I was reaching for the HK when for a second time the world exploded. The blast hit, shaking the house.
Cara screamed.
The switch flipped.
The part of me I’d tried so hard to quash, to forget, flickered back to life.
Darkness infused. A feeling I was so well acquainted with I wore it like a second skin.
I heard the footsteps. I heard boots crunching over the glass.
With the Glock shoved in the waistband of my jeans, the stock of the HK fixed perfectly in the pocket of my shoulder, I thumbed the selection lever to fire and moved through the kitchen.
Rounding the corner, my first target came into sight and I pulled the trigger.
The second tango turned his head in my direction, another smooth pull and he dropped next to his buddy.
A third was halted at the blown-open front door and retreated.
Game fucking on.
I slipped farther into the dining area, glanced over at the now empty couch that Cara and Cash had been sitting on. Cash popped up off the floor, Cara in his arms, her small body squished against his chest, a face full of fury.
“Cover me!”
Three quick bursts in the direction of the front door gave him enough time to run across the room and disappear down the hall.
Then I silently waited.
I saw the barrel of his weapon first. I adjusted my aim, slowly pressed the trigger, taking out the slack, leisurely pulled in a breath, and a heartbeat later the asshole leaned his body through the door. My shot rang out and he hit the ground.
“Exfil. Now. Back,” Cash barked his orders.
Cara still tight against his chest, his left arm banded around her, Sig up and at the ready in his right hand.
“You lead,” he continued.
I did a quick onceover. Not seeing any blood, I turned and quickly opened the full-of-holes back door. I waited for gunfire. When none rang out, I slipped through and scanned the backyard. Nothing. Silence. No sirens. No neighbors yelling.
“Clear.”
I took off for the back gate hoping that if there was someone I couldn’t see waiting, I’d be their target.
“Twenty-two thirty-six,” Cash said from behind me.
I had no idea what he was talking about until I saw the keypad. I punched in the code then pushed open the back gate.
Nothing.
No gunfire.
Trusting Cash to take care of Cara if I stepped out and caught a round, I maneuvered into the alley.
“Clear.”
“Go right. Fifty yards down, silver Ford.”
I took off in a sprint, keeping my HK up and ready. Cash was on my heels. A few seconds later—that felt like an eternity with Cara exposed—I saw the silver sedan.
“You drive.”
I went for the driver’s door. On my second pull of the handle, it opened. I slid in, found the push button, and had the car in drive by the time Cash’s ass hit the passenger seat.
“End of alley hook a right.”
“Cara?” I asked as I fought against testing the zero-to-sixty capability of the car.
“Uninjured.”
I glanced over and gritted my teeth. She might’ve been uninjured but there was no way she wasn’t scarred.
Rage boiled in me.
“Lolo?”
No, wrath.
“Right here, Care Bear.”
“I’m scared.”
She didn’t sound scared; she sounded petrified out of her perfect little head.
“I know, but you’re safe now.”
I prayed I wasn’t lying as I slowed to check for traffic before I turned right.
“At the light make a left. Watch your speed.”
I refrained from telling him I wasn’t an idiot but only because he was speaking again, and this time it wasn’t to me, but to someone on his phone.
“Yeah, I know. I got three dead mother…” He paused, exhaled, and began again. “I’d say to send someone to do a sweep, but we’re out of time.”
And we were. Four cop cars, lights and sirens wailing, were speeding down the road. I pulled to the shoulder to let them pass, checked my mirror, then merged back into traffic.
“On ramp to 50 West, will be on your left,” Cash told me then went back to his conversation. “We’re headed to the safehouse.” Pause. “Yeah. I know.”
He tossed his phone into the cup holder.
I drove.
Cara whimpered.
“Cara, baby, you can open your eyes now.”
With my eyes on the road, I couldn’t see what was happening but obviously she hadn’t responded.
“Open your eyes and look at me, warrior princess.”
Now was not the time for my heart to melt. I needed to stay mission focused. I couldn’t let myself slip out of character and fall apart. Not now. Not ever.
“That’s it,” he cooed.
Yes, badass Cash Phillips cooed.
“Cashy.”
“Hey,” he whispered. “We’re safe now.”
“I’m scared.”
“It’s okay to be scared.”
She had nothing to say to that.
“Safehouse?”
“Ellicott City. Once we put more distance between us and…” he trailed off, not that I needed him to finish explaining we needed distance between us and the dead bodies. “We can switch and you and Cara can get in the back. It’ll be safer.”
“No!” Cara shouted. “Don’t leave me.”
Direct hit to my heart. One more painful than if I’d taken another fifty lashings of my brother’s leather strap.
I shoved aside the hurt and all of my inadequacies and focused on what was important.
“Damion?” I asked hoping he’d understand my question.
“Unclear.”
The very painful death I had planned for my brother just turned into a long, drawn-out torture session.
Days. I was going to start by slicing a thousand shallow cuts into his flesh.
Just deep enough to hurt. He’d then know the sting of alcohol being poured over open wounds.
Once the first course was over, I’d start peeling off layers of skin.
“Stella?”
Fingernails would be next.
“Stella,” Cash repeated.
I’d leave the teeth extraction until after he was seizing from the pain.
“Baby girl, breathe.”
“I am.”
“No, you’re plotting, which I fully support and will game day plan with you later. But right now, Stella, turn it off and breathe.”
I didn’t ask him how he knew what I was doing.
Not because I wasn’t interested in how he always seemed to know what I was thinking, but because I was too afraid of his answer.
Last night, Cash was absolutely correct when he said I was terrified.
But what he didn’t know was, I wasn’t only terrified of him, I was terrified of everything.