Chapter 15
ETHAN
After lunch, I walk Jett back to the dorm. I fight the urge to reach for him, and mentally smack myself for even thinking it.
You don’t need to touch him all the time. Get a hold of yourself.
“You sure you don’t want to come back to my place?” I ask as we step inside the lobby.
Why am I so fucking needy for him?
“Not tonight. I’ve got to rest up before the race.”
“Right, sorry,” I reply. “But tomorrow, after?”
“I thought we were going to Boots and you were gonna help me find a hookup?”
“We can still do that,” I muse. “But the only one you’ll be hooking up with is me.”
Jett shakes his head.
“So, it’s sex, but you want to be exclusive? Is that what you’re saying?”
Uh. Shit.
“Well, yeah.”
What the fuck is coming out of my mouth?
Jett’s deep chuckle has me stepping closer to him.
“What’s so funny?” I demand.
“You. This situation. I’m your shiny new plaything and you don’t want to share? Be serious.”
“I am. I mean it, Jett. No one else while we’re fucking.”
“Keep your voice down,” Jett whispers.
“Why? No one cares. And if they hear us, so what?”
“I don’t want other people to find out.”
“Afraid you’ll have competition?”
Jett offers me his middle finger and it makes me smile.
“Don’t tempt me, Sugar.”
“Funny.”
“I’m not kidding. I like to play with my ass. You’re welcome to give it a go too.”
Jett slaps his hand over my mouth, covering my grin. Without thinking, I playfully kiss his palm.
“I’m leaving,” Jett states. “Don’t follow me upstairs and don’t text me. Not until after the race.”
I place my hand over his and there’s no mistaking the desire that flashes in his eyes. Slowly, I move his hand away from my mouth, but I don’t let go. Instead, I thread our fingers together and squeeze gently.
“Ethan?”
Before Jett can utter a word of protest, I slide my free arm around his waist, haul him in tight, and plant a blistering kiss on his sexy lips. When he kisses me back, I know that one is not going to be nearly enough. I’m so screwed.
“I meant what I said,” I whisper. “No one else while we’re fucking each other.”
Jett nods, and the relief I feel is palpable.
“Good. Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Jett’s face is flushed as he looks around. No one’s about, so there’s no worry.
Against my better instincts, I let him go and walk away.
It’s strange that he’s more worried about people seeing us together than I am.
Then again, he’s out, so it’s probably not because I’m a guy but because I’m me.
That realization hits hard and it hurts.
It shouldn’t surprise me, and yet it does.
I know I have a reputation as a player, but it’s just that.
I’m not a liar and I’m not a cheat. I’m open about the fact that I don’t do relationships.
Although, what’s happening between me and Jett is different from anything that’s come before.
Not only is it the first time I’ve ever wanted a guy like this, but it’s also the first time I’ve been hung up on someone.
Yes, even I can admit that there’s some kind of feeling involved here and it’s not only about sex.
Not that I’d dare mention that to Jett at this point.
Hell, I won’t even tell my friends. Truthfully, I don’t know what this thing is between me and Jett, only that I want to explore it and find out.
Being close to him is more than a want, and after touching him, I don’t know if I can stop this obsession, no matter how many times I tell myself to let it go.
Lost in my head, I make my way back to the frat house.
I’m almost home when my phone buzzes.
Is Jett texting me? My heart accelerates so fast that I’m lightheaded.
But when I glance at my phone, it’s not him. It’s my brother, Harry.
Harry: The fighting has already started about Thanksgiving. Mom wants the three of us home, but Dad’s rented a cottage in Maine.
Ethan: It’s two months away. I can’t deal with it. I think I’ll stay in Vermont this year and avoid the headache altogether.
Harry: I don’t blame you. Maybe me and Cate can meet up with you?
Ethan: Why not? It’s better than bouncing from one dinner to the next and listening to them bitch all day as well as for the 364 days after.
Harry: You’re right. But they’re gonna be upset if we don’t see them.
Ethan: Let them be upset. They put us through this every year, every holiday. Fuck, every time we visit. I’m fed up. We deserve a peaceful holiday for once.
Harry: I’ll text Cate. How’s things at school?
Ethan: Things are good. We’ve got the National College Competition coming up and I’m a student ambassador representing the hockey team.
Harry: Awesome! Congrats. And your dating life?
Ethan: You know me, I’m having fun. Only…
Harry: Only what? Did you meet someone special?
Ethan: I meet a lot of people. It’s just that, well, I’ve been kind of obsessing over someone lately. Are you sure you want to hear this?
Harry: Fuck yes. This is big news. Details, now.
Ethan: You’re going to be shocked.
Harry: Nothing you do or say can shock me.
Fuck it, I’ve gotta tell someone.
Ethan: What if I told you that I’m not straight? That I’m bi.
I see three dots appear, then disappear. My nerves start to fray the longer I wait.
Harry: I’d say I’m not totally surprised.
Ethan: Really?
Harry: I’ve seen you flirt with everyone.
Ethan: Do I? Maybe you’re right. I never thought it meant anything until I met Jett. This guy’s got me all wound up. I’ve never felt like this before. He’s driving me out of my mind. It’s not like my usual fuck and run. It’s really intense.
Harry: It’s bound to be. First times are a big deal, right?
Ethan: I’m way beyond first times when it comes to sex.
Harry: You know what I mean.
Ethan: It’s not like that.
Harry: Tell me about him.
Ethan: His name’s Jett Hawthorne. He grew up on a ranch in Nevada. He’s smart, gorgeous, and he’s a competitive rower. And he’s the best kiss I’ve ever had.
Harry: Aw, Ean, are you falling in love?
Ethan: Don’t even. Never.
Harry: Just because mom and dad were a disaster doesn’t mean every relationship is.
Ethan: Doesn’t it? I gotta go.
When I get back home, the frat house is quiet—for a change. I put a frozen pizza in the oven and group text my Cougar teammates.
Ethan: The Crew have a regatta tomorrow morning at nine. Dane, obvi you’ll be there for Jackson, but I also said a bunch of us would come to cheer them on.
Axel: I’m in.
Jace: Me too. Meet at Lake Kinnear?
Ethan: Right
Dane: C u then
Kayden: Me and Maddox too!
Silas: Why you so interested in rowing, Walrus?
Ethan: I’m showing team spirit. We’re all reps for the school.
Silas: So it’s not because of Jett?
Ethan: What if it is? You have a problem with that?
Maddox: Wait, what did I miss? What’s going on with you and Jett?
Ethan: You guys need to promise to keep your mouths shut. I mean it.
Silas: Spill
Ethan: I kissed him. Or he kissed me. We kissed. It was the hottest thing ever, and he made me come my brains out.
Kayden: Whoa, whoa, you and Jett???
Ethan: And we were on the trail near the lake, outside, where anyone could see us. I’ve never been so turned on in my life.
Axel: Does this mean you’re dating?
Ethan: No way. I don’t date, remember? I fuck.
Maddox: But you’re going to his regatta? Are you hooking up with him again?
Ethan: Maybe
Definitely.
Silas: Another one bites the dust! I called it!
Jace: Damn, I owe Silas twenty bucks
Dane: Now two of us are dating rowers. It’s the skintight uniform, right?
Ethan: We’re NOT dating! And yes, Jett’s obscenely hot in those shorts.
Kayden: Jett just broke up with his ex. Is this a good idea? What if you get hurt?
Ethan: No worries, Kaybear. Like I said, it’s sex. No one’s getting hurt.
Axel: You say that now…
Ethan: I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth and said anything. You guys need to chill, we’re having fun. Remember that?
Dane: We’re here if you need to talk.
Ethan: I appreciate that, but I’m fine. See you guys tomorrow.
I put my phone aside, grab my pizza from the oven, and scarf the whole thing down.
It’s Saturday, so there should be a party happening, but for once I’m not in the mood to have anyone over.
Instead, I grab a couple of beers and head up to my room.
Spread out on my bed, I grab my phone and scan every article and video I can find about rowing.
And of course, I download some of Jett’s races again. Fuck, he’s something to watch.
I don’t even notice the time until there’s a knock at my door, and I glance at my phone. Wow, I spent two hours watching videos of Jett? What’s up with that?
“Come in!” I call out.
The door opens and Gage and Marshall appear.
“What’s up, Ethan?” Marshall asks.
“Nothing. I’m chilling. I’ve got to get up early tomorrow.”
“For what?”
“Uh… I’m going to the rowing regatta. Then I have hockey practice at one.”
“Rowing, huh?” Marshall smirks. “Say hi to Jett for us.”
“Why don’t you come with?”
Gage cocks his head.
“What time?”
“The race starts at nine, so I’ve gotta leave here at eight thirty at the latest.”
“That’s way too early, bud. Maybe another time,” Gage replies. “You want to join us downstairs? I invited some of my engineering classmates over for drinks.”
“Nah, but thanks. I’m gonna finish some homework and crash early.”
“Who are you right now?” Marshall quips.
I tap on my chin with my middle finger in response.
“Try to keep the sex noises to a minimum.”
“I can’t promise that.” Gage chuckles.
“Later,” Marshall adds.
They shut the door again, and I take another swig of my beer. It’s warm now, but so what? I need the buzz. I’m relaxed but wired. That’s not unusual for me. My meds help me focus, but they don’t stop me from being overstimulated.
I need to talk to Jett, and I need to do it now.
Ethan: What are you doing?
Jett: I thought I told you not to text me!
Ethan: I can’t help it. Come on, what’re you doing? Talk to me.
Jett: Nothing exciting. Cooking. I’m carb loading.
Ethan: You guys do that too?
Jett: Of course. Now stop interrupting me or I’ll overcook my pasta.
Ethan: Why didn’t you invite me to join you? I would’ve offered to help clean up in exchange for a meal.
Jett: It’s Saturday, don’t you have plans?
Ethan: Oddly enough, no. I mean, I could, but I’m not in the mood.
Jett: Did you eat already? And pizza doesn’t count.
Ethan: That’s freaky. How’d you know that’s what I had for dinner?
Jett: An educated guess.
Ethan: I had beer too. BTW, I’ve been watching your races on YouTube. You are fucking fire, Sugar. How do you make it look so easy?
Jett: It’s anything but.
Ethan: I know. The rowing machine is my least favorite workout.
Jett: Then you’re not doing it right.
Ethan: How about we meet up at the gym this week and you can show me?
I wait for his reply, and watch the three little dots appear, disappear, reappear.
Jett: What do you think?
I glance at the snap he sent me. He’s made a huge bowl of pasta with sausage and peppers, and my stomach growls at the sight, despite my earlier snack.
Ethan: You’re a tease.
Jett: Me?
Ethan: Yes. That looks amazing.
Jett: It’s simple. I only cook the basics.
Ethan: How about we meet up at the gym on Wednesday, then you can make dinner for me after?
Jett: Why don’t you cook for me?
Ethan: I like you and I don’t want to give you food poisoning lol?
Jett: I don’t know if it’s a good idea. The gym or dinner.
Ethan: We both need the workout, and we both need to eat. It’s hanging out, not a date.
I don’t know who I’m trying to convince, me or Jett.
Jett: Since you put it that way… maybe. But no complaints if you don’t like my food.
Ethan: I never complain if someone else cooks. So, are you nervous about tomorrow?
Jett: Yeah, the usual pre-race nerves. But I thrive on the pressure once I’m in it.
Ethan: Me too. It’s a high I love to chase.
Jett: I better go. I need calories and zzzs. C u tomorrow
Ethan: I’ll be the loud one
Jett: As long as you’re cheering for our side
I wish I’d called him instead. I want to see his face, hear his voice. Fuck, it’s only been a few hours, and I’m like a teenager with their first crush. Or an addict needing their next fix. I rub my chest but the tightness that’s settled in there won’t leave.
Suddenly, music blasts through the walls of my bedroom. I can hear voices too, as Gage and Marshall’s party gets underway. I should go down and join them. Relax, have fun, flirt, drink. I’m not the least bit tempted to join them.
Instead, I spend the rest of the night studying.
Jett, that is.