Chapter 20 #2
“Good?”
“More, please. Now.”
I chuckle at his needy command and push my finger inside him, going slow and easy. I want to make it good for him.
“Deeper,” he rasps.
“Are you sure?”
“Baby, I need it.”
I drill my finger deeper, and when I hit his prostate, he jolts and shouts my name.
“Right there! God, don’t fucking stop.”
Ethan cups my jaw and devours my mouth, sucking on my tongue.
I can taste myself on his lips, and I love that he holds nothing back.
His hands cup my ass as he pulls me in as close as we can get, not an inch, not a breath between us.
We hump fast and hard, like it’s a competition that we’re both determined to win.
“Jett, baby,” he moans, and my balls draw up tight. “I need you to come for me.”
I don’t need to touch myself at all; I’m going to come like this.
I thrust my hips one more time and it’s game over. I’m coming hard, wave after wave of pleasure washing over me as Ethan jerks in my arms. He shouts my name as hot lashes of cum—his, mine—make a mess of both of us.
Ethan collapses on top of me, and I relish it as he buries his face in my neck.
“We’re damn good at that,” he pants.
“Yeah, but we’ve got zero staying power,” I chuckle and slowly withdraw my finger from his hole.
When I start kneading his ass cheeks, he grunts and rubs against me.
“But practice makes perfect.”
I smile against his cheek.
“Or as close as we can get.”
“It’ll take hours. Days. Weeks,” he teases, and trails soft kisses along my jaw to my lips. “I’m willing if you are.”
“I’m up for the challenge.”
We make out for ages, and kissing Ethan is like a fever dream.
I can’t get enough.
The room fills with our husky moans, dirty sighs, and the rustle of bed sheets as we roll around. His dick is half hard and getting harder, and mine is too, ready for round three. Until I hear a loud rumble and realize it’s his stomach making the noise. I try, but fail, to hold back my laughter.
“My dick isn’t happy with my stomach right now,” he mutters.
I smack his ass playfully and give him one last kiss.
“Grab a sub and we’ll split it. And a bottle of Gatorade too.”
Ethan grunts and slowly pulls away from me, as I lie in the wreck of the bed, staring up at the ceiling, too blissed out to do anything but revel in the moment.
Next thing I know, Ethan’s got a towel in hand and is cleaning me off before I get a chance to object. Not that there’s anything to object to, but still, I’m used to guys getting off and taking off, even Renner. I’m used to taking care of myself.
Ethan, on the other hand, is being kind, attentive, sweet.
I don’t know if I can handle it.
“Thanks,” I whisper, my face heating.
He throws the towel on the floor, and I roll my eyes.
“Don’t you have a clothes hamper?”
Ethan shrugs.
“Somewhere.”
I bite my lower lip but it’s no use, I can’t help but smile at his messy tendencies.
“Washroom?” I ask.
He stands up and stretches that long, beautiful body, all six feet of him, and I’m momentarily speechless.
Padding over to the dresser, he pulls out two pairs of boxers, handing me one, and once we’re decent, he takes my hand and guides me into the hallway and down to the bathroom.
It’s exactly as Ethan described it, with wet towels everywhere and a shower with moldy grout.
It looks like something from a horror movie.
“You guys should have a biohazard warning on the door,” I quip.
“It looks worse than it is.”
“It looks pretty bad,” I chuckle. “Next time I will bring my hazmat suit.”
He swats my ass in retaliation, and we tussle until we’re making out again. We pause only to quickly clean up, and then he ushers me back into his bedroom, and his bed.
“Don’t move,” he demands.
There’s no doubt that his bossiness is hot, so I do as I’m told.
While he’s rummaging through his fridge, I grab a couple of pillows and sit up against the headboard.
We have a picnic of sorts on his bed, sharing bites of the sub.
It’s good, and before I know it, we’ve finished the whole thing.
Guess I was hungry too. And thirsty. I take a swig of the Gatorade and pass it back to Ethan.
“You seemed surprised when I ate your ass.”
I cough and swallow hard.
“Not as surprised as I am that you want to talk about it.”
Ethan takes my hand and brings it up to his lips, peppering my skin with kisses. I don’t even know if he realizes what he’s doing.
Don’t read anything into it. He’s an affectionate guy.
“I love rimming,” Ethan admits. “Giving and receiving. You?”
“Hell yes. But not everyone’s into it. Renner never was. Or so he said. I think he was punishing me because I didn’t let him fuck me.”
Ethan rolls on top of me, blanketing my body, his hands cupping my face.
“He’s an asshole who didn’t deserve you. Any part of you.”
“Thanks.”
“I mean it, Jett. Don’t let what happened with him mess with your head. He took his insecurities out on you. He’ll do it with the next person too. It’s about him, not you.”
I stare into Ethan’s chocolate brown eyes. The flippant frat boy is gone and the man staring down at me is someone I can’t unsee.
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I know I am,” he says confidently and gives me a resounding kiss.
“For someone who’s never had a romantic relationship, you sure know an awful lot about them.”
Ethan sighs and rolls off me.
“I learned from my parents. I hate to say it but Renner kind of reminds me of my dad. There was always an excuse for how he treated my mom. He cheated and then blamed her. And then she got payback by doing the same, and the war escalated, with me and my siblings caught in the middle. I never want to repeat their mistakes.”
“Shit, that sounds awful. And you knew all this?”
“They never hid their fights or the reasons why. Arguments that continue to this day,” he confesses. “And it’s why I’ve decided I’m not going home for Thanksgiving this year.”
“Really?”
“Mom wants us in New Hampshire, but Dad’s rented a place in Maine. Either way, if I say no to one of them, it’ll start an argument, and I don’t need the guilt trip or the backlash about any of it. I’m fed up.”
“I’m sorry.”
At least his parents are alive, I think, wishing I could spend one more day with my mom.
“Shit, here I am rambling about my parents… I forgot about your mom.”
Ethan pulls me into his arms, and we lie tangled together.
“It’s okay,” I whisper.
“If you don’t mind my asking, what was she like?”
I rest my head on his shoulder, the flood of memories rising to my lips.
“Her name was Amelia, but everyone called her Amy. She loved hard and she gave the best hugs. There was nothing she couldn’t charm; people, animals, you name it.
The ranch was her passion. She got pregnant with me when she was seventeen.
My father was her high school sweetheart.
Well, not so sweet. He took off out of town after she told him the news and he never came back, so—” I shrug.
“I didn’t want for him anyway; I had my mom, and she was everything.
She finished high school but decided not to go to college and stayed home to raise me even though my grandparents insisted they could take care of me. ”
“She loved you.”
“She did,” I reply, my voice hoarse. “Only, I wish that she had gone to college. Maybe then things would have been different.”
“What do you mean?”
“I told you that she passed away, but I didn’t tell you how—” I pause, taking a deep breath.
Even after all this time, talking about her death is difficult.
“Mama worked on the ranch, but she also had a part time job at a local bar during the fall season, which gave her extra cash for the holidays. She wanted to make sure I didn’t want for anything.
Only, on one of those nights at the bar, a fight broke out, and Mama being Mama, she tried to intervene.
She was stabbed and died on her way to the hospital. ”
“Oh my God, Jett. I… Fuck, I’m so, so sorry.”
Ethan holds me even tighter, and I blink away the tears that threaten.
“I didn’t know the details about how she died at first, but it all came out eventually.
We had to relive it again when the man who killed her was arrested.
Losing her was—” I try to swallow past the lump in my throat.
“I mean, it is, the most difficult thing I’ve ever faced.
Afterward, I was clinically depressed, anxious, and like I told you, acting out.
I was a fucking mess until I discovered rowing.
Eventually, I went to a therapist and things got better.
But even now, there are times when the pain of losing her hits me so hard that I’m not sure how I manage to get back up.
But I do it. Every day. I do it for her. I want to make her proud.”
Ethan kisses the top of my head, and the sweet gesture tips me over the edge, tears spilling down my face.
“Sorry,” I whisper into his skin. “I don’t know why that all came tumbling out. My timing is shit.”
“No it’s not. I asked. And I’m glad you told me. Do Archie and Hudson know about your mom?”
“Yeah, but not the rest of the Crew. I mean, they know my mom passed but not how. I never told Renner either. Only a handful of people. It’s a lot for me to talk about.”
Ethan rubs his cheek against my hair. I’m suddenly bone tired, and I can’t keep my eyes open.
“Do you realize that this is one of the longest conversations we’ve ever had?”
“I know. Who would have guessed? Not me.”
My voice is slurred, and I burrow into Ethan’s warmth. Nothing has ever felt so good or right. Not in years.
“There’s no going back,” he whispers. “You’re stuck with me now.”
Despite my tears, Ethan’s comment makes me smile. It’s the last thing I remember before sleep claims me.
I open my eyes and jolt when I realize I’m not in my own bed.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m right here.”
Ethan’s sleep-roughened voice teases my ear, and I settle back into his arms. I wonder if he even realizes that he calls me “baby”?
It’s not the first time he’s said it, but it’s the first time he’s called me that when we’re not having sex.
I’m curled up on my side, my back to his chest, and Ethan’s wrapped around me like a python.
Even in sleep he’s possessive.
I wriggle in his arms and turn over to face him. In the darkened room, I can’t see him clearly, so I use my hand to trace his profile, lingering over his sharp cheekbones and finally his soft lips. He makes a humming noise as he nips my finger, and I go from sleepy to wide awake in a heartbeat.
“Did I wake you?” I whisper.
“No, I couldn’t sleep.”
I smile and lean over to kiss him, our tongues tangling.
“Sleep is overrated anyway.”
“Sugar, you took the words right out of my mouth.”