Chapter 21
JETT
A WEEK LATER - NATIONAL COLLEGE ATHLETIC COMPETITION
Ethan and I have spent every spare moment over the past week at his place or mine, and I want to say that it’s only fooling around, a bit of extracurricular fun, but that would be an outright lie.
I thought he was the one obsessed with me, but it turns out that works both ways.
If we’re not in our respective classes or practices, we’re together.
The sex is off the charts and sometimes we can’t wait to get to my dorm or to his house.
We make out behind the rink, the boatshed, or in any bathroom in any building.
But it’s more than hooking up. We can talk about everything.
Ethan likes to play into his frat boy image, but I know now what his closest friends were trying to tell me.
He’s loyal, protective, and always honest, sometimes painfully so.
I know what we have is more than sex and more than friendship, and I suspect Ethan knows it too, even if he doesn’t want to put a name to what we’re doing.
He waits for me before class, after rowing practice, and becomes my training buddy at the gym.
And I’m there to cheer on his first home ice hockey game, screaming louder than anyone when he scores a goal.
I keep having to remind myself that he only thinks of us as friends. Friends who fuck, but still, friends.
A friend who makes me laugh like no one else and drives me crazy in the same breath. A guy who makes me want so bad that I can’t imagine going a day without kissing him.
Ethan’s surprisingly sensitive too, dropping off snacks when I confess I have a craving for chocolate dipped potato chips. Not to mention the constant texts, video calls, and pics we share on the daily.
And now that the biggest competition in college sports is about to unfold on campus, I’m going to be spending even more time with him. Unfortunately, all of it will be spent either volunteering or competing, so our sex life is on hold.
Maybe that’s a good thing. It’ll give me a breather to get my growing feelings under control.
And there’s no better distraction than a major event.
Today is Welcome Day and the campus quad is buzzing with hundreds of students decked out in their college colors.
Ethan and I, along with Dane and the rest of the welcome crew, stand on the makeshift stage, surrounded by school banners fluttering in the breeze.
We’ve got our tablets in hand, our mics ready, and our Sutton ambassador T-shirts on so we’re easy to spot in the crowd.
Dane’s phone buzzes and he glances at it before motioning to me and Ethan.
“I’ve got to prepare for the opening press conference with the president,” Dane explains. “I’ll leave you guys in charge here if that’s good with you?”
“We’ve got this,” Ethan confirms.
I nod in agreement, even as the nerves in my belly take flight. Dane gives us each a hug and heads off the stage and into the crowd.
Ethan taps his mic and holds his hand up.
“Alright, folks, welcome to Sutton U and the National College Athletic Competition launch day! Phew, that was a mouthful, am I right?” He laughs, and the crowd claps in return. “Are you excited?”
The clapping gets louder, and shouts ring out as the students gather around the stage.
“I said, are you excited?!” Ethan shouts and points at the crowd.
This time, the response is a resounding roar that carries over the quad.
“That’s what I want to hear! My name’s Ethan Walker, and I’m one of the student ambassadors for the games.
I’m proudly representing the Sutton U hockey team, so you’ll be seeing a lot of me this week.
I’m joined by my partner in crime, Jett Hawthorne, who’s a member of our elite rowing crew. Give him all the applause, please!”
I stand by Ethan’s side and wave to the crowd.
“Any questions about this week’s activities—what’s the schedule, where do I go, and where the best parties are at?
—just ask us,” Ethan continues with a smile.
“We’re gathering this week to compete for important college standings, but we’re also here to have fun and make new friends.
And since today is Welcome Day, that means we’ve organized lots of games to break the ice, and trust me, you’re going to have a blast. Let’s get this party started! ”
I look around and spot Archie, Finn, and Hudson waiting at the front of the stage. The rest of the Crew and the Cougars are interspersed among the crowd, some as participants, some as volunteers.
“First up is name-tag switch!” I announce. “Use your phone to scan the code on the tag you received in your welcome bag. You’ll get a clue, a fun fact, or a photo about the person whose name is on that tag, helping you find your match. Are you ready? And… go!”
The quad erupts into motion as students scan tags, call out names, and claim victory when they find their matches. It’s wild and chaotic, but in the best way. Judging by the smiles I see, we’re off to a good start.
When it looks like all the matches are found, we move on to a photo scavenger hunt.
“Snap a photo with someone from another college, a mascot, and a team. First team gets a special prize!” I call out.
Phones are out in a flash. I spot a group trying to convince a Wildcat mascot to join their pyramid, and another team dragging our namesake Cougar into a selfie.
I can’t wait to see the pics on our school socials.
After the winner’s declared, we pause for a refreshment break.
Thankfully the weather’s cooperated, and while the breeze is cool, the sun is shining warm and bright. All in, it’s a perfect fall day.
After everyone’s recharged, it’s time to wrap up the morning session.
“Alright, now, this is the event you’ve been waiting for…
the mascot showdown! And it’s all about showing your school spirit!
” Ethan encourages. “Each mascot has ninety seconds to show off their best, or most unhinged, dance moves. Crowd applause decides the winner! Are you ready? Let’s see what you’ve got! ”
The mascots take to the stage to bust out their moves, and there’s a clear winner from the start.
It’s none other than a… banana. Yep, a banana who twerks so hard he nearly loses his peel.
The mascot’s moves are hilarious, and the crowd loses it.
They’re not the only ones. Ethan and I are laughing so hard we’ve got tears running down our faces.
“We have our winner!” I call out.
After we award the prize, we break for lunch. Ethan and I quickly scarf down a sandwich and do the rounds of the quad to get to know the visiting students. There are so many names and faces to remember, tons of selfies, and plenty of laughs too.
The afternoon session kicks off with a classic game, the ultimate rock-paper-scissors tournament.
There’s plenty of friendly trash-talking as the game winds down to the two finalists.
The champion, a hockey player from California, is crowned the winner, then it’s back to getting students moving again with the ultimate frisbee contest. Some throws are wickedly accurate, others go careening off course, but everyone seems to be having a great time.
It turns out to be the most popular game of the day and is fiercely competitive.
Dinner is a mix of local food truck pop-ups that line the exterior of the quad. Ethan grabs us a couple of chicken gyros and fries and we sit on the grass and enjoy our meal, the first time we’ve had a real break all day.
“We’re almost there,” Ethan encourages.
“It’s been crazy busy, but in the best way. I think everyone’s having fun. There’s nearly the same amount of students here now as there was this morning.”
“That’s because the games—and the volunteers—are awesome.”
We end the day with a very loud karaoke contest. Teams take to the stage and perform their favorite game-day hype songs.
Everyone sings along, waving neon-green glow sticks and cheering for their favorites.
It’s tough to choose the winners since every team is enthusiastic, but after we award the top three teams with their prizes, we finish the day with more pictures, and finally, the blast of fireworks that lights up the sky with a rainbow of colors.
Ethan and I head for the stage to officially close out the day, exhausted but knowing it’s been a job well done.
“Who had a good time today?” I ask the crowd, my voice hoarse but happy.
Judging by the thunderous applause, I think we succeeded. I turn to Ethan, who holds up his water bottle. I tap it with mine and offer a smile. I’d like nothing more than to lean over and kiss him, but I don’t think the welcoming committee had that in mind.
It’s clear from working with him today that our strengths balance each other out.
I’m the planner, managing the details and acting as a sounding board for students who were feeling overwhelmed by the size of the crowd.
Ethan’s the cheerleader, ensuring that no one was left out of the games, and also, getting them primed for the week ahead.
Honestly, there’s no one more suited to being a welcome ambassador than Ethan.
“That’s what we like to hear! To new friends, fun memories, and of course, college sports,” Ethan adds. “Thanks for participating today, and I hope everyone has a great week!”
There’s more clapping and cheering, and I know we’ve set the right tone.
Thank God I don’t have any races tomorrow because I’m going to need the rest. It’s been a long day and the week’s just getting started. Sensing my tiredness, Ethan reaches for my shoulder and gives it a squeeze, his hand lingering for a moment.
“We did it, Sugar.”
“You were amazing.”
“You too.” He smiles at me. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”
When he steps away, I want to follow him. But I don’t. Because we’re friends. Friends with benefits, and that’s it.
The reality of my situationship doesn’t sit well. Not anymore.
As the crowd disperses, the quiet around me is strangely loud. Too loud.
And it hits me. Right here, right now. Fucking around isn’t enough.
I’m falling in love with Ethan.
It’s foolish, and I know I’m asking for heartbreak, but I can’t help it.
My eyes wander to Ethan, as they have all day.
No matter what I was doing or who I was talking to, inevitably my attention turned to him.
Even now, my gaze can’t help but track him as he talks to several students who have hung back to chat.
One of them’s a beautiful blonde, and as she edges closer to him, I can tell that she’s flirting.
I can’t blame her, but my stomach turns over and jealousy sparks like wildfire in my blood.
I want to shout that “he’s mine” but the words are stuck in my throat. And they’ll stay that way.
Ethan only does the casual thing. That’s it. I’m a fuck buddy. Nothing more.
I told myself I would never be in this position—falling for someone who could never return my feelings.
First the disaster with Renner, and now Ethan.
Only, this is worse. Much worse. I was never all in with Renner, always holding part of myself back.
But with Ethan? I’m ready to hand my heart over to him, and he’d probably smash it like a hockey puck.
Not deliberately, not maliciously, but he’d smash it just the same.
Ethan turns his head, and when his gaze locks on mine, I’m helpless to do anything but take him in, a flash of heat and longing knocking the breath right out of me.
Fuck, what am I going to do?
As if sensing my unease, his brow furrows, but I shake my head.
Nothing’s wrong. Act cool.
Ethan turns his attention back to the students.
I force my feet to move, helping the volunteers clean up the stage, but halfway through tidying up, I get a weird feeling, like someone’s nearby, watching me.
And not in a good way. I turn around, but I don’t see anything unusual, and Ethan’s still busy with his conversation.
There’s no one paying me any attention, other than the people I’m working with.
You’re exhausted and your mind’s playing tricks on you.
I push away my unease and get back to work. When I notice Ethan finally making his way over, I take a deep breath and put on my game day smile to greet him.
“Hey.”
“What’s up?” Ethan asks as he takes hold of my shoulders.
“Nothing. Everything’s fine.”
“You look upset. What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I shrug off his hands. “I’m tired. That’s all. It’s been a hell of a long day.”
Tired doesn’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling. It’s hit me like a truck that I’m falling for someone who doesn’t believe in love.
Oh God, Ethan, what have we done?
A warning echoes in my mind over and over as I stare into his eyes. I hope my poker face is good enough to fool him.
“I’m exhausted too, but I think it turned out great.” He smiles at me. “There’s a lot of positive feedback.”
“A job well done, Walker.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you, Hawthorne.”
“Sure you could’ve. You’re a natural.”
“You kept me on track. But now I’m wondering if I picked the wrong major. Economics might get me a job, but sports and people are where my true passion lies.”
“Didn’t Axel switch to sports management?” I ask. “Maybe you could do a double major?”
“I’m gonna give it some thought,” he murmurs and steps in closer. “Come back home with me?”
I glance around but no one’s near enough to hear our conversation. Our friends know what’s up between us, but not the entire campus. Although, if Ethan keeps looking at me that way, it won’t be a secret much longer.
“Tonight?”
He nods.
“We don’t have any scheduled activities until tomorrow afternoon.”
“I don’t know—”
“I can’t sleep without you.”
Why did he have to say that? Not that he’s the only one, but still. How am I supposed to guard my heart now?
“I meant what I said, Ethan. I’m worn out.”
“I didn’t mean go back and have sex.”
“You want to use my body as your pillow?” I quip, trying to ease the tightness in my chest.
“I will neither confirm nor deny.”
He slides his arms around my waist and leans forward, like he’s about to kiss me. I put a hand on his chest and push him away.
“Not here.”
“Shit, I’m sorry.” He drops his hands and looks around. “But fuck, I can’t help it.”
“Try.”
“I don’t know, Jett. Asking me not to touch you is like asking me to stop breathing. I can’t do it.”
Lord help me, I’m in so much trouble with this man.
“If I say no, are you going to follow me back to the dorm?”
“What do you think?”
My lip twitches, but I manage to hold in my grin.
“Help me finish the cleanup first.”
A slow smile graces Ethan’s lips. It’s wicked, seductive.
I’m totally fucked.
If I’m gonna fall, I might as well go all the way.