Thirty-Eight
Stacy
“We should try this outside of practice,” I hear Reece mutter from below me.
My cheeks flame but I hold my heel stretch to split nonetheless, pulling my leg tight as I clench my abs.
Since Thanksgiving, Reece and I have stunted better than ever.
It pisses me off that he was always right about our bodies connecting, but I can’t even be that mad because everything’s sticking.
Propst is happy, our comp routine is nearly flawless now, and I guess I don’t mind exactly what we had to do to get our stunts to the level they’re at.
Or what we keep doing, I should say.
“Lower your voice,” I scold when Reece dismounts me from our stunt.
Reece smirks. “I’m just saying, you can do the splits. We should take advantage of that more often.”
Heat pools in my stomach and I have to look away from his face before I get us kicked off this cheer squad. Propst has been watching us like a hawk since our conversation and if anything, it’s even weirder now to pretend we’re not in a relationship after so many months of doing the opposite .
This semester is giving me whiplash.
“You need to behave,” I hiss at him quietly as Propst orders us to warm up more of our comp routine stunts.
“You love it,” he taunts.
“Not today.”
Reece cocks his head at me, raising a brow as we start to set up for a cupie. I know he’s sending me a silent message.
What the hell is wrong with you? You’ve got an attitude.
And truthfully, I do.
As good as Thanksgiving break was in some aspects (also see: falling further and further for Reece and finally having mind-blowing sex for the first time in my life), there were still other parts of it that left me unsettled and dejected.
Also known as, the Dunn family.
I sigh when Reece pops me out of our cupie. “Sorry. I know I’m being a pill today.”
Reece titters. “I never thought I’d hear the word sorry come out of your mouth.”
“Don’t push your luck,” I snap.
He raises a dark brow at me. “Something you want to talk about, Stace?” He lowers his voice and leans into me. “Need me to do something about that attitude of yours?”
I swat at his arm as we trail over to the center of the cheer mats. “It’s like you want to get kicked off the team,” I hiss as we get in place to run through our routine.
Everything goes smoothly, even our hands to hands, and after a couple more run-through’s, we’re out of practice and on our way to Sip Society with Drew, Mae, and Jamie to grab some coffee.
Reece wraps his hand around my wrist, causing us to fall behind our friends while he drops his lips to my ear. “ Seriously, you okay today, angel?”
I sigh, staring forward as we walk across campus. “I used to love the holidays.”
“Okay?”
I grind my teeth for a minute as we trail behind our group, knowing Reece is one persistent man and won’t stop until he gets me to open up.
Asshole.
“Now I just dread them,” I say honestly. “I used to get so excited when it’d get cold out because I knew that the best time of year was coming. I loved the family time, the food, the traditions. But now, I…” I trail off and feel Reece’s hand land comfortingly on the small of my back.
Thanksgiving at my family’s house was something of a mess.
We hadn’t even gotten through apps before my parents were down my throat about the future, referencing my older sister’s wild success at my age for the umpteenth time.
When I mentioned Reece’s idea of combining cheer and business, they were less than impressed to say the least.
It’s a cute idea but you need something stable.
You’re going to let your hobby dictate your career?
You should get an MBA, it’d open so many doors for you.
You should’ve considered law school, Stace.
You should talk to your older sister about careers. She’s incredibly successful.
Charlotte.
Charlotte.
Charlotte.
I left the holiday defeated. Tears were brimming my eyes the whole drive back to Wing Haven and I know Reece could sense my pain. He was surprisingly quiet during the car ride and hasn’t pushed me about it since. I know he wants me to open up on my own, come to him about my feelings when I’m ready.
But he can only wait for so long, the nosy, impatient man.
I shake my head as the coffee house comes into view, hiking my shoulders higher against the brisk wind.
“I feel like I barely survived Thanksgiving. And in a couple weeks, we have to go back for Christmas?” I shudder at the thought.
A mental image pops into my head, the family sitting around a beautiful Christmas ham while sly comments and jabs are thrown in my direction.
The mashed potatoes will get cold while my parents shove graduate programs and criticism down my throat, my grandparents will dote on their favorite granddaughter, and Reece will only be able to distract my family for so long.
It makes me want to crawl inside of my own skin. The thought of being berated and beaten down makes me feel small. I’m already shrinking and I’m afraid that, the more time I spend with my family, the more I’m going to disappear.
I don’t want to disappear. Not when I have Reece. He’s been doing a good job at making me realize that I’m more than what my family makes me feel but it’s not quite enough to balance out the years of being put down and compared to my sister.
As we walk into Sip Society, I glance up at Reece. He’s gnawing at his lip, seemingly lost in thought as we make our way to the counter. We place our orders, get our coffees, and make our way to the corner of couches where Miles is sitting before Reece speaks again.
“What if… we didn’t go home?” he eventually asks as we settle into the orange loveseat while Miles and Mae bicker ab out something insignificant.
Shocker.
I snort. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it?” he challenges. “Thanksgiving was a disaster. With both of our families.”
I reflect back on the snide comments and petty remarks I made to Tashia on Thanksgiving, feeling immature and a little remorseful.
But frankly, not remorseful enough because she deserved it.
“My family has that cabin up on the lake. They’re not going this year because Gemma’s work schedule is crazy and Tashia can’t get away from the hospital. What if we went up there? Just the two of us?”
My stomach bottoms out at the thought of being alone with Reece for the holiday.
The image in my head of my family Christmas is pushed aside as a new image comes into focus.
Reece and I snuggled up in front of a wood burning fire, looking out at the snow that I’m manifesting will be on the ground in a couple weeks.
Baking Christmas cookies together while some ridiculously cheesy Hallmark movie plays on the TV, Reece undoubtedly burning his first batch.
Waking up on Christmas morning in Reece’s arms, spending the day sipping Irish coffee or hot chocolate while we play Uno and listen to all the horrendously overplayed Christmas songs that I still love regardless.
Replacing the bad memories he may have of that goddamn hot tub with new memories. Better memories.
Much, much hotter memories.
Clearing my throat, I will away the inappropriate thoughts before my face can flush, glancing around at our friends.
No one seems to be paying attention as Drew and Jamie mediate Miles and Mae’s argument about the best Thanksgiving side.
(Mae is team sweet potato casserole while Miles is holding strong to classic stuffing).
Even with the group distracted, I still drop my voice and lean slightly into Reece. “What the hell would you tell your family?”
Reece tosses me a smirk before leaning back into the couch and throwing a lazy arm around my shoulders. “Easy.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “I’d tell them the truth.”
I snort. “That we’re actively running away from holiday commitments because we both have unbearably dysfunctional families?”
Reece chuckles and drops his voice. “Nope. I’d tell them I’m spending the holiday with my girlfriend.”
My lips freeze on the rim of my latte, my stomach churning in a beautiful, treacherous, warm way.
Girlfriend .
The one thing I said I didn’t have time to be.
The thing that’s distracting me from my future, that could get me kicked off the cheer team.
The one thing that could break through my icy exterior and shatter my heart.
My heart that’s actually made of glass no matter how hard I try to pretend that it’s made of concrete.
Reece has been the most unexpected wrench in my plans. He’s uprooted my senior year, changed my perspective and plans and goals. He’s been a frustrating and dizzying ride, but he’s somehow become a risk I’m willing to take.
I’m putting a lot on the line for this man. He has a power over me that terrifies me and he damn well may destroy me.
And for him, I might just let it happen .
So, instead of fighting it anymore, I lean back into Reece. I take a deep breath, letting his warm smell fog up my senses while Mae and Miles fight about pie flavors, and simply say, “Yeah. Tell them the truth.”