17. Valeria
17
Valeria
Their home smells like those brown sugar candles I’d find in the store, the ones I stop and smell without buying. It smells so much better here than that cabin.
Abigail offers up food as soon as we settle at her table, and I don’t realize how hungry I am until she’s putting a sandwich in front of me. When I make the first one disappear in a minute, she’s happy to replace it with another.
While I chew, Tommy fiddles with the first aid kit. Watching him pull out a bandage, I fight the urge to snort.
Knowing what he does for a living, I find it hard to believe that he knows how to tend wounds since he’s usually the one causing them.
Other than the bruises on his body, did he get injured? I don’t believe so, but I didn’t exactly get a lot of time to look while we were in the shower. Not while he was numbing my senses.
Without warning, he grabs one of my hands. His mouth works with a frown as he looks at the matching rings around my wrists. Not speaking a word, not even warning me about sting from the alcohol wipes, he tends to my wounds.
Has his touch always been this warm? This gentle? For a few seconds, I get lost in the motion of his fingers as he wraps my wrist with the bandage. He then holds his hand out, silently demanding my other one. So, passing my sandwich from one hand to the other, I offer it up to him.
My brother watches me from the counter, his arms crossed over his chest, while his wife assembles another sandwich for Tommy, despite his reluctance to eat something.
He no longer has that baby face of his. Having more ink on his skin, and more piercings on his face, I’m just now noticing all the differences.
“I don’t know what they had to do to convince you to help out, to come back even for a short period, but thank you.” The words leave my lips, and I feel a lump growing in the back of my throat.
Past me wouldn’t have come back unless it was a life or death situation. As far as I can tell, Lazaro wouldn’t want to risk losing this life he has. To enter something so dangerous…
The corners of his eyes crinkle, and he smiles. He’s my only sibling who knows how to.
“They told me you needed help, and I wanted to see you with my own eyes,” he explains before his smile lessens. “It took me years to get over the thought of you dying. So, since you are alive, I didn’t want to relive it.”
My stomach tightens, and I nod. Chewing on my lip, I wince when Tommy dabs another wipe against my cheek. “Thanks to everyone, you will have to.”
I take a few more bites, struggling to swallow as I try to shove the unpleasant thoughts away.
“When Urzo told me you got away, I struggled to believe it. How did you do it?” I ask instead, hoping the story will be far lighter and pleasant.
Tommy shuffles around for a larger bandage, his brows furrowed.
Lazaro bites his lip to hide a grin as he looks over at Abigail. “I met this woman. At the time, she didn’t know who I was, but I knew if I wanted to make her mine, I had to get out. After striking a deal with Mom, and her pulling some strings beneath Santino’s nose, we made it happen.”
Our mother always wanted our happy endings. She was always more loose with my brothers, hoping they’d find the right woman to cross their path. She never breathed down their neck, never prepared them like she had me.
I’m jealous, in truth. To have the opportunity to fall in love naturally, with a partner who can return their love without batting an eye…
My gaze momentarily drifts toward Tommy as he tears into the bandage he’s found big enough to cover the mark on my face.
I’ve told him how life felt. However, he hasn’t done the same. Sure, I haven’t even given him enough time to soak in my confession, so I can’t be upset with him.
He came after me, which means something. It means enough.
I can’t help but remember what my mother had said about Tommy being devoted to me. Maybe she knows more than I do. She thinks he could be more loyal to me than Santino. As hard as it is to believe, he risked his life for me .
“Your cheek is hot,” he murmurs as his fingers brush my skin as he presses the bandage on. “Make sure to keep a close eye on it in case it tries to get infected.”
It’s not just my cheeks, my entire face feels warm. The injury has nothing to do with it, all to be blamed on Tommy, himself.
As Tommy ignores the sandwich slid his way, he keeps his eyes on mine as he pulls his hands away. We stared at each other for a few passing seconds before his brows pinch together. Lowering his voice, he sighs. “You want out again, don’t you?”
Now isn’t the time for this conversation, but with the way he’s looking at me now, I know he needs an answer. He deserves the truth. “I never wanted to stay. Up until a few days ago, I wanted my problem solved and to return to my old life.”
Each day I spend with Tommy, I lose a piece of my old self. The carefree, stupid Valeria who got herself in this mess. The woman who didn’t mind being all alone.
The things I want now, it seems like it will be at the cost of my freedom.
If I stay with my family, what’s stopping me from falling back into my original role? Tommy and I are on entirely different levels. If he doesn’t love me, and I’m clinging on to feelings that will slowly die off, what will stop me from turning into a piece to be used in the future?
“Well, your problem is now solved.” Pulling back slightly, his hand moves to cup mine. It’s like he needs some form of contact as badly as I do.
Biting my lip, my brows pinched together. “I meant what I said earlier, Tommy. Leaving isn’t on the table. I’m yours, remember?”
As he nods, his hand finds my leg, and he gives it one squeeze before pulling away. Cleaning up his mess, he leaves it out for Urzo once he’s finished his shower.
* * *
By the time we make it back to the estate, I expect to see complete chaos. Instead, it’s rather eerie.
We don’t have to go hunting for my family. They’ve collected in a room that looks like it’s meant for meetings.
Santino is sitting at the head of the table, his thumb rubbing at the rings on his fingers. He looks annoyed despite Camellia rubbing his arm. Alle is on her lap with a marker in her hand as she colors.
As we step inside, Eliza jumps up to see Urzo. At the same time, my mother does the same when she sees me.
Not wanting her to exert herself, I meet her halfway so she can pepper my cheeks with kisses. Her eyes flickered with something I don’t ever see with her when she sees the bandages. Anger.
“I am okay,” I promise her softly, “Tommy took good care of me.”
She lifts her gaze to the man at my back, and a gentle smile replaces her expression as she moves to grab his hands. Squeezing them both, she thanks him.
As Santino moves to stand, he calls my name, motioning me to come.
My chest tightens at the look in his eye. Every time I look at him, I’m reminded of just how much he looks like our father. He’s always had a stern look on his face during the more stressful times.
So, what will it be? Will he scold me for bringing trouble the moment I step into the estate? For endangering those he loves?
Will he ask me to leave now that I have nothing keeping me here? Not that he has any idea of what’s been happening with me and one of his soldiers.
I never considered I’d be kicked out, funny enough. Now that it’s a possibility, it’s making my heart thunder in my chest.
Straightening my shoulders, I step toward him and keep my chin high, refusing to let it wobble.
If he wants to kick me out, then I won’t beg him to stay. Though I may be tempted to drop to my knees and plead until he lets me take Tommy with me. That’s something I’d beg for until my voice ran raw.
Reaching him, I try to find the words to say. An apology should come first. Maybe it’ll soften the blow.
“I’m sorry.”
I blink in confusion as he clamps one of his hands against my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “What?”
His lips curl into a frown as he squints at me. “I let my guard down, and you could have been killed because of it. I’m sorry.”
Like he’s speaking a different language, I try to register his apology. I don’t think he’s ever apologized to me in his life.
“I should have upped the security, but didn’t because I didn’t take the threat seriously enough. Thankfully, there was only one pest that made his way in here, but that’s one too many. I won’t let it happen again.” The words leave him, and he glares at my cheek.
What feels like seconds pass by before the tension in my chest snaps into two and I let out a much needed laugh. “You are terrible at this. I take it you don’t fuck up much, do you?”
A sigh rolls out of him. “Hardly ever.”
Despite giving his apology, he doesn’t move away to take his seat again. His brows furrow even lower.
“I’m okay,” I finally tell him. “They came before anything could happen. Just a few marks that’ll go away on their own. You might not know it, but I’m tough in my own way.”
He releases my shoulder as something foreign passes his eyes. Is that… relief?
“Good to hear it.”
Giving me a stiff nod, he finally turns and leaves me alone for all of two seconds before I feel a presence close behind me. I don’t need to look to see who it is.
“You missed Lazaro. He gives his regards,” Urzo calls to Santino as he moves to settle at the table with Eliza.
When Santino sighs and asks about our missing brother, Tommy grazes the middle of my back with his hand. The little stroking motion of his fingers makes me feel too relaxed, and I lose a little focus.
“I need to get clothes that fit,” he murmurs against my ear. “Will you be alright by yourself for a few minutes?”
In truth, I don’t want to be here at all. I’m exhausted from all the events that have taken place. I tell him that, too, closing my eyes momentarily. When I open them, he’s looking down at me with a softness behind his gaze.
“We’re going to go unwind,” Tommy calls out, his eyes never leaving mine. He doesn’t mind leaving the chat that needs to happen with the family.
Santino sighs at his dismissal. “Find me in the morning. We need to talk.”
He nods in agreement before using his hand to guide me out of the room before someone else wants to gush about my survival.
When we make it back to his room, I’m surprised to see the state it’s in. More messy than not, it’s like a tornado has made its way through his room.
“I searched thoroughly for you,” he explains behind me as I step further inside to start picking up the mess. However, once I see the spilled contents in front of the closet, I pause.
A bunch of my belongings, things I cherished when I was a teenager, sit at my feet. Kneeling, I grab a picture of my father with me on his shoulders when I was a toddler, and squint. “I thought you got rid of all my stuff?”
“At the time, I couldn’t admit that I kept some,” he explains as he undresses. “Didn’t need you knowing that I’d hoped you’d return one day.”
At the time, what seems so long ago at this point, he didn’t want me to know a piece of him still cared. Now that little piece has grown into a bigger chunk.
Unable to contain my smile, I pack everything carefully back into the box. I’ll take my time going through it all another time when sleep isn’t weighing heavily against my eyelids. Even my muscles are extra heavy from exhaustion.
Once the mess is cleaned up, I’m crawling into bed, and it’s a wonder how I don’t pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow.
When Tommy joins me, I expect him to finish what he started in the shower. Instead, the moment the light is out, he’s pulling me to his chest and breathing me in. He’s a wall of heat I can’t help but want to wiggle closer to.
Even after returning here, he’s so tense. Stroking my fingers along his spine only helps so much.
“Tomorrow will be a better day,” I promise him softly.
As he grunts, I close my eyes and hardly get the chance to count the seconds we’re together before I’m falling under.