18. Tommy
18
Tommy
When I wake up, the sun hasn’t lifted in the sky just yet to greet me. Instead, it’s only been a few hours since we’ve laid down.
While Valeria easily fell back asleep, I’ve been left staring at the ceiling, looking for answers like I’ll find them engraved on the surface.
Listening to the soft sound of her breathing, I look down at her through the darkness. Dark tendrils of hair dance against her cheeks, one near her lips.
I want to kiss her. I always want to kiss her. At the same time, I don’t want to wake her up, not when I know how badly she needs rest. If I want her body to heal, then she needs to get as much sleep as possible.
So, I don’t kiss her. I just keep staring, realizing how gone I am for her. She’s the one. After thinking I’d be just fine by my lonesome, unlike the men surrounding me, Valeria has proven me wrong.
I need her.
If I don’t want to lose her again, then I can’t let the weight of expectations make her feel trapped. It’s why she left in the first place.
Ever so carefully, I lift her arm away from my chest and set it down. Making sure not to wake her, I slowly make my way off my bed. Letting her curl with my pillow instead, the trade works perfectly.
I stand there for a few seconds, maybe it’s minutes, taking her in. The longer I stare, the more I realize how deep I am.
When did this need to protect her stop being a job? At this point, it’s a necessity.
Rubbing a hand against my face, my eyes drift to the door.
I need to talk to Santino. In order to do that, I have to leave her alone. She can’t be with me, or else she’ll try to sacrifice the one thing she’s always wanted.
She deserves her freedom, and there’s only one way I can give it to her without letting her go.
Knowing he’s made sure there aren’t any threats after the last slip up, I know deep inside that she’ll be alright. Everything screams at me to stay at her side.
Taking strength I don’t realize I have, I make my way out of the room and hope that the eldest Bertelli sibling is awake.
It turns out Santino feels just as uneasy as I do. He seems to think there’s a risk of something eluding his safeguards, and I catch him in his office monitoring the cameras.
The glass of brown liquid near him looks untouched, but far needed. He doesn’t lift his gaze when I enter.
“We need to talk.”
He grunts. “Thought we’d have this chat in the morning.”
I can’t wait until then. If I do, I won’t get a wink of sleep. The thoughts running through my head are already ruining the man I am.
“Can’t wait,” I tell him as I move to take a seat in front of his desk. It’s a smaller chair, and I don’t typically find myself sitting in it. Trying to get comfortable, I sigh. “I’ll be quick with it.”
“If you’re worried about Renato trying to get his hands on my sister, rest assured, it won’t happen. Elijah has made this a straightforward transaction by acting on his own.” He scrolls his finger on the mouse, finally blinking.
I don’t give a fuck about Renato Marino.
My silence makes him finally look my way. He meets my frown with one of his own.
“I want out.” The words leave me, each one leaving me feeling lighter. “And I want to take Valeria with me.”
I won’t be like Lazaro, who goes behind Santino’s back to make it happen. Even if I’m sure Bia would be happy to help me out after all these years, I don’t want to take the easy route.
I need him to be able to let her go while knowing she’ll be safe. Wherever she wants to go, be it out-of-state or the next city over, that’s what I’ll fight for.
He stares at me like I’m speaking another language. Giving me more than enough time to take the words back, I don’t.
“You have been with the family for years now. More than a decade.” He pinches his brow and succumbs to the drink next to him, taking a sip. “And you want out?”
I nod, and he sighs.
“I get it, tonight has been one of the roughest we’ve had in a long time. Sleep it off, and we can talk about it–”
“I want out,” I repeat the words again. “Valeria is now my top concern. Tell me the cost, and I’ll make it happen. I won’t cut ties with the family, but I can’t keep doing what I am. Not with her happiness on the line.”
“Ever since she came back, you haven’t been yourself. Is it because she’s a handful? Should I put someone else to watch her? Fuck, does she even want to stay now that guy is dead? Valeria doesn’t need a babysitter anymore. You can go back to the way things were before. You love what you do,” he reminds me, referring to the past.
My fingers curl at my side, my hands fisting tight enough to make my knuckles ache. “Not as much as I love her.”
The words flow off my tongue, and I struggle to believe I’ve heard myself. Hell, even Santino has whiplash. He jerks back and takes me in like I am a man he doesn’t recognize. I don’t recognize myself either.
“Whatever you want to take, it’s yours.” I lift my hands, taking in my missing pinkies while noticing all the damage from using them over the years. “There isn’t a cost big enough.”
If he needs a final job done, one that risks my life, I’ll do it. He wants my hands, I’ll give them to him. Anything to keep Valeria at my side.
He knocks back his drink, shaking his head. “My little sister, seriously?”
“She’s not little. She’s the biggest handful I’ve ever met, but she’s the one. And you know damn well what lines I’ll be willing to cross to make her mine.” The words that leave my lips aren’t a threat, but a promise.
He has a wife and a kid. He should understand better than most.
From the way his eyes close and he sighs heavily, I can see the years are taking a toll on him. He’s much softer than he was before Camellia came into his life.
“I’ll keep her out of trouble. Something tells me now that she’s reacquainted with everyone, she won’t want to stay away, either. Not if we don’t suffocate her.”
“My mother will be crushed if she leaves again,” he sighs, “Urzo as well.”
Silence fits between us for a few passing seconds. “We’ll come visit. More than Lazaro does. She’ll miss you too, Santino.”
Even if their bond isn’t as strong as what she has with her other brothers, I’d be blind to see that Santino isn’t worried about her. As the eldest, he was the angriest when she disappeared the first time. Through experience, he’s learned not to lead with emotions. This is just his poor attempt to not let them show.
Every time Valeria is involved, he’s done a terrible job at staying platonic.
Sitting back in his chair, the leather creaks, and he turns his attention back to the camera footage. Flicking his hand at me, his fingers assure me to leave. “I’ll consider it. Please, get some sleep, you look terrible.”
Despite dismissing me, there’s a shift in his voice. Something that leaves enough room to allow hope to fill my chest.
It seems I won’t have to risk everything by kidnapping her away from here, disobeying an order given by Santino himself. To do something so out of character for myself, I know there’s no going back. This is who I am now.
Not a monster. Just a man weakened by love. I can’t even be upset by the change, not while Valeria is the one who’s the reason behind it.
Thanking him, I do as I’m told and shuffle my way out of his office. As soon as the door is shut behind me, I realize I must have left my guard at the door before entering. No, it must have been even before that.
Valeria Is sitting on the ground, her knees tucked to her chin. Knowing I left her sleep, I guess she must have noticed my disappearance rather quickly.
When she looks up at me, I don’t expect to see wide, glossy eyes. The site is enough to make my breath catch in my throat.
Did something happen? Did someone say something to her while I was talking to Santino?
“I can’t believe you,” she mutters under her breath as she moves to stand.
She’s upset. She must’ve realized that I’ve gone behind her back to do something so outrageous. I can explain it to her, I can make her understand why I’m willing to part ways.
When she stands, I’m ready to do just that, but she catches me off guard when she reaches for my face. It’s not anger or hurt that’s on her face, but the complete opposite. She’s smiling.
“You should be sleeping,” I murmur as her fingers stroke my cheeks. It’s hard not to close my eyes and lean into her touch.
Santino has a point. I am exhausted. Tired of fighting the way I feel.
“Not without you.” Stroking my cheeks with her thumbs, despite the exhaustion simmering in her eyes, her smile remains. Her hands slide down until she’s reaching for one of my hands. Grabbing it, she gives it one squeeze before tugging me away from Santino’s office door.
She’s moving with purpose, leading me through the empty halls. Not giving me much to work with when it comes to what’s happening in her head, I imagine she heard plenty while I was talking with her brother.
If she looks happy, that’s good, isn’t it?
Once we finally return, I realize quickly that yes, it’s a good thing, especially when she’s grabbing my shirt once the door shuts behind us and pulls me down for a kiss.
It’s not slow and sleepy, but more intense and full of energy. Like she’s suddenly full of vigor, her hands keep moving like she can’t stay still. I don’t complain, not when her nails drag along my throat to cup the back of my head.
Having her here feels right. There’s no other place I’d want her to be. Pressed against my chest, molding her front against mine, we both sigh together. Reaching down, I scoop her up with ease.
As her ankles cross at my hips, her breath tickles my lips. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re the last thing in this world that can.” Knowing I can go on and on about having her in my arms and how good it feels, I choose to carry her over to the bed instead. Instead of dropping her, I ease her down with my body on top of hers.
Itching to get my mouth on more than just her lips, I’m caught off guard by just how beautiful this woman can look when her eyes are swelling up with more than just happiness.
“How much did you hear?” I ask her softly, aching to know which parts moved her to this point.
“Plenty enough.” Closing her eyes, her smile remains. “You really love me? Or were you just telling Santino in hopes he’d agree?”
My chest rumbles and I shake my head. “I’d never lie to him to get something in return.” Leaning down, my mouth finds her throat, and I place kisses up to her ear. “Is it that hard to believe that you’ve got me wrapped around your finger?”
Her hands stroke at my back, dragging along the length of my spine. “Do you really?”
Scoffing, I lift and meet her gaze. “Valeria. You’re going to make me spell it out, aren’t you? I love you. I’ll say it until I’m lightheaded, if that’s what you need from me.”
“I might take you up on that another time, but for now…” She sits up on her elbows so she can eliminate the space between us. “Show me.”
I have no problem with that.
This woman has my heart, and if I’ve got to prove it by appreciating her body, then I’ll do it.
When I pull away, the first thing I do is make her shirt disappear. I don’t let her breasts distract me at first, despite the way my mouth waters the moment I see her rosy nipples peaking up. Instead, my palms meet her skin below her ribs.
The last time, did I even take my time to appreciate her beauty? This time around, I want to make sure I do.
She lets out a soft laugh as I drag my fingers up. Almost like she’s ticklish. While I might not want to make her giggle to extinguish the heat in her gaze, I’ll make sure to test her limits another time.
Valeria is so warm, so soft against my hands. When I reach her breasts, I make her groan when I skip over them. Instead of letting me move higher, she grabs my hands and presses my palms against her round mounds.
“So impatient,” I mumble as I give them both a squeeze. Knowing I enjoy the way she feels, I lean down and press a kiss between them.
Despite her disapproval, I don’t linger. My hands remain, but my lips trace the curve of her stomach.
Soon, I have to pull my touch away to get rid of my own shirt. Needing to feel her skin against mine, my cock firms up when I see the hunger growing in her gaze.
She looks like she is the one who wants to devour me .
I’m willing to prove to her that I’m fucking starving.
Lapping at her stomach and making her body flinch, I kiss my way down to her shorts. Peeling them away next, I’m happy to see her without underwear. Like she’s wanted me to have easy access to her pussy, I don’t waste time before I’m kissing her glistening folds.
Fuck.
Just the sight of her—glossy and flushed, already trembling for me—makes my chest tighten.
I let my tongue drag through her, one long, filthy stroke that has her hips jerking off the bed. She tastes like salt and sin, like everything I’ve ever craved, and I groan against her, drinking her in. Every flick of my tongue, every suck at her clit is a worship, a devotion. I want her to feel it—how badly I need this, how fucking good she is for me.
Her thighs clamp around my ears, her moans turning ragged, and I don’t let up. Not until she’s shaking, not until her voice breaks around my name.
She moans my name again when I swirl my tongue around her clit, showing her just how sensitive she is. Once her hips jerk and her legs stiffen, I’m pulling away before her orgasm can wash over her.
No until my cock is inside. I need to feel her velvet walls twitching around me, squeezing me for all I’m worth.
Drinking her in while she’s this wound up is my weakness, leaving me feeling like I could ruin my pants if I’m not careful enough.
Listening to her whine as I pull away, I move quickly. Shoving my pants down to free my cock, I swipe my fingers against her pussy to collect some of her juices against my skin.
“Tommy, please …” Her body squirms against the sheets, looking fucking mesmerizing while she does it.
I drag my hand away, ignoring her whimper, and grip my cock, stroking once, twice, slick with how badly she wants me. Her eyes fly open, dark and desperate, just as I notch myself against her.
“Look at me,” I growl.
And then I push inside.
She shakes, a broken moan tearing from her throat as her body clutches at me, wet and tight and perfect. I don’t give her a second to adjust—I sink deep, burying myself to the hilt, and her climax crashes into her the second I’m fully seated. Her walls flutter around me, pulsing, and I groan, fucking her through it, my thrusts turning rough, erratic.
“Come—fuck—come with me,” she sobs, dragging me down into a kiss that’s all teeth and shared breath.
I lose it. My hips slam into her, rough enough to make the world tilt, and then I’m coming harder than I ever have, spilling inside her with a groan.
We’re left panting as we collect ourselves, and I’m relishing in the fact that Valeria is the woman for me. It’s her or no one. Lucky for me, I have no intention of letting her go.