Rhys #3
He wasn’t wrong about that. My cock looked almost obscenely large with his slender fingers holding it down to his body.
I let out a choked moan, bracing my hands on either side of his head as I tried not to think about how this was the closest I’d come to fucking someone in actual years.
Every neuron in my brain was lit up like a Christmas tree, all the cells in my body tuned to process his reactions.
“Ah, Rhys. That feels amazing, baby. Keep going.”
I couldn’t have stopped even if I’d wanted to. I felt like a machine, like I’d been created for the sole purpose of making Kendall come. Dragging out more of his beautiful little moans, making his hips do that hot little twitching thing up against me, and receiving his praise.
He tilted his head back, his thighs clamping around me as his moans stuttered out. The muscles in my abs were tensing up, my balls drawn up tight to my body and I willed myself to slow down, just enough that I wouldn’t embarrass myself by finishing first this time.
“That’s it, baby,” he purred, his emerald eyes so big and deep that I felt like I was drowning in them. “Be a good boy and let go, okay? I want to watch your beautiful cock unload all over me.”
So much for the plan of not embarrassing myself. No one had ever called my cock beautiful before, and the words hit me like a truck.
“Fuck. Ngh, fuck, Kendall.” I groaned out his name, bright lights exploding behind my eyes as my orgasm crashed over me.
It was so intense I actually started trembling, shooting out hot, aching pulses of cum onto his smooth torso, coating his tight abdominal muscles and pooling all over his bellybutton piercing.
Fuck, why did that look so stupidly hot?
He started coming just a few seconds after me, his moans and the way his cum sprayed out to mix with mine practically sending me into spasms of pleasure.
It was the hottest thing I’d ever seen in my life, by a wide margin.
I didn’t think it was possible, but he was even prettier lost in total fucking bliss.
Because of me. Because of my cock. My beautiful cock, which he’d imagined pushing up deep inside him.
I watched him as I tried to catch my heaving breath, tingles washing over my heated skin as I floated back down. He looked totally sated and satisfied, sucking his plush bottom lip in between his teeth for a moment before letting out a soft sigh.
My Adam’s apple bobbed in my throat as I swallowed, a vague sense of panic creeping in to taint everything else. I was totally fucked.
“That was so good,” he said, cracking open one eye after a few quiet moments and instantly clocking the shift in my mood. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly. “That was just… Yeah,” I finished, deciding to keep it vague so I didn’t sound like some lovesick, obsessed dork. “Really hot.”
He grinned, popping up an eyebrow as he dragged a finger through the mess of both our loads.
When he lifted it up toward my mouth, my heart practically stopped.
A neon sign flashed in my head, warning me that lapping up cum, my own and another guy’s, was a line I couldn’t uncross. Something I couldn’t go back from.
That was stupid. I’d already made out with him, rubbed cocks with him. Why was this the thing that felt like a step too far?
I forced my lips open, instinctively swirling my tongue around his fingertip when it breached them.
The unfamiliar taste and texture surprised me, but I didn’t hate it.
My stomach clenched with a jolt of anxiety as I processed the fact that I didn’t hate it.
One more clue that one of those flags probably did represent me.
Before I could swallow, he pulled his finger back from my mouth, cupping the back of my neck so he could pull me down into a kiss.
My shocked moan exploded out to collide with his breathy one as he sucked my tongue, enthusiastically cleaning the cum off it.
Holy fuck. It was like something out of a porno.
We made out until I started to worry our lips would be bruised, and when I finally peeled myself off him to balance on my knees, the look on his face was unmistakable. He adored me. He would have let me do anything to him, time restraints or no time restraints.
How long had it been since someone had felt that way for me? Had anyone but him ever felt that way for me? Would I ever be able to mess around with anyone else ever again, inevitably waiting for this mind-melting expression that would never come?
While I pondered that very frightening thought, Kendall wriggled under me a bit so he could reach up toward the front of the car. Flipping open the center console, he extracted a pack of wet wipes and pushed them into my hands.
“Are you going to be a good boy and clean me up?” He asked, sweeter than the ripest, darkest honey.
I nodded eagerly, ripping some out of the opening and carefully using them on him, practically drooling when he let out an adorable laugh as I swept over his abdomen. He was ticklish. Of fucking course he was ticklish.
Truthfully, I wanted to clean him up in a different way.
Drag my tongue over his body in long, hot licks, periodically returning to his mouth so he could suck the traces of his cum away.
But if lapping it off his finger was crossing a line, doing that would be like volunteering myself to serve a life sentence in Bisexual Jail.
And anyway, if I started that I’d probably be hard again before I finished, and then we’d be stuck in a disastrous loop of getting each other off and cleaning it up. Better to play it safe for now.
As I finished cleanup duty, Kendall’s phone started vibrating from the crumpled pile of his jeans in the floorboard.
“It’s Josie,” he informed me, once he’d reached down to retrieve it. The screen was lit up with the indicator of the incoming call.
“Y-you’re not going to answer it, are you?” I asked, a chill snaking up my spine as I zipped my pants back up.
“Why wouldn’t I?” He asked, giving me an odd look.
“Well, she… She probably knows we’re together. Benjamin probably told her we were.”
“So?”
“So… I don’t know,” I finished weakly, confused and scared for reasons I couldn’t even understand. “What if she can tell we did something?”
He stared up at me for so many tense, silent seconds that his phone stopped vibrating. I was mildly ashamed by it, but relief flooded me now that she was no longer waiting for him to pick up and potentially reveal what we’d done. What I’d done. What I’d really, really fucking enjoyed doing.
“How would she know we did anything?” He asked. I couldn’t decode his tone, or the sudden blankness exuding from his eyes.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, my guts churning a bit. “I just don’t, um…”
“You don’t want anyone to know you’re hooking up with me,” he finished flatly. “I know that. I’m not an idiot, Rhys.”
“N-no,” I stammered out, the sharp acid in his statement shocking me and blanking out my brain function. “That’s not… I don’t mean…”
“I already told you I’m used to that,” he reminded me, and I scrambled back when he shoved at me to get off him so he could awkwardly stuff his legs back into his tight jeans.
“Why would I rat you out when I haven’t ratted out any of the other straight guys who thought it’d be fun to mess around with me? ”
“I didn’t mean it li-”
“It’s fine,” he cut me off, with an authoritative finality I hadn’t even known he could exude. “We don’t have to talk about it. I get it.”
He didn’t get it. I didn’t even get it. But I knew I’d fucked up and hurt his feelings, which was the last fucking thing I’d ever wanted to do.
But as we pulled back out onto the road, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know if I should apologize. If he’d want or accept my apology, or even what exactly I’d be apologizing for, beyond just making him unhappy.
I felt like the world’s biggest asshole, but… everything in my brain was so mixed up. I wasn’t embarrassed about hooking up with Kendall. He was gorgeous, sweet, funny, and unbelievably caring.
Did I really care that much about anyone finding out I was messing around with a guy?
Or was it because I didn’t know what the hell I wanted or what was going to happen when I figured it out?
Did I want everyone knowing I was a huge fucking perv who’d drunkenly stumbled into his apartment begging for sexual contact?
Did I want my parents knowing I’d done that?
Would people think I was taking advantage of him?
Would I ever want to fuck other guys? Would I want to date guys?
I didn’t know what anyone would think of me. I’d never been anything but a straight guy. I’d never been the object of scrutiny and judgment. Not about that kind of thing, anyway.
It was too much to think about, too overwhelming. I had enough going on in my life.
But was I… Trying to take the easy way out?
Was I fucking Kendall over, because once we decided we were done needing each other I could go on with my life as a straight guy and everyone would be none the wiser?
But he wasn’t like me. He would always have to deal with everyone’s judgment and disdain. Like he’d said, he couldn’t hide it.
I wasn’t ready to think about any of that either.
We were basically silent on the way home and I had to bite down into my tongue to keep from babbling out an apology, for the fear that he’d spit it back in my face. And I wouldn’t blame him.
And then when I got home and Mom realized Kendall hadn’t come in with me, she’d sighed with obvious disappointment about not getting to visit with him, which was also my fault and racked me with guilt.
That night, huddled in my bed under my blanket, I typed out five variations of an apology or explanation on my phone, but deleted each of them before I could work up the guts to send them to him.