31. Forgive Me Tonight
31
Forgive Me Tonight
“ I s your back turned?” Nessa’s small voice asked from behind the door to Rayna’s living room where Spencer stood, in a tux, waiting for her.
“Yes, Nessa, my back is turned.”
“Are your eyes closed?”
“Yes. They’re closed. Now can I turn around, or are you not ready yet?”
“Hold on!” Another minute passed, the only sound being her and Rayna’s muffled voices behind the door until Spencer heard the door crack open. “Okay, you can turn around.”
Spencer turned slowly, giving her the chance to change her mind. When she didn’t, he opened his eyes and his breath left him. Nessa stood in a lavender princess dress, the sleeves short, and the skirt billowing out. Her braided space buns were gone. Rayna transformed her hair into a cornrow ponytail with two-strand twists.
She was wearing the tiara Spencer had bought her, the pink jewel in the middle shining as bright as she did.
“Oh, my god.” Spencer was speechless. “You look like a real princess. ”
“Feel like one too. Thanks, Uncle Spence, for the compliment and the party.”
He didn’t deserve her praise. He wasn’t paying for the party and almost let his stubbornness get in the way of her vision of it. If it wasn’t for Nicole, this party wouldn’t be happening.
“Come here.”
Spencer knelt, hugging her. He couldn’t believe she was six. Where did time go? The day she was born could’ve been yesterday from how well he remembered it. He woke, hungover, to a voice message from his mom. She was fuming, having called him eight times to no answer.
When he finally did, she gave him the name of the hospital and he showed up, wearing sunglasses. They didn’t hide his hangover or him from Rayna’s wrath, but he showed up. Which was more than Ronnie could say.
While Melanie slept and his parents each took a turn ripping Ronnie a new one over the phone, Spencer held Nessa. With a banana bag IV in his arm, he hummed “All the Stars” to her and told her how much he loved her. Spencer didn’t think his life would change all that much with becoming an uncle, but when those brown eyes and pudgy face met his, she instantly owned his heart.
Six tumultuous years later and Nessa had grown and developed into her own person. Their roles and what they meant to each other had changed. The one constant was how Nessa still owed every bit of Spencer’s heart. He loved this kid, would give her the world if he could. Tonight he would have to settle for giving her back the one thing she’d been missing.
“Happy Birthday, Ness.”
“Thanks.”
Her voice was off. Spencer looked up at his mom. She didn’t have a guess for why that was. “What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling back to look at her .
“Nothing. I was just hoping mom could’ve come.”
Neither he nor Rayna had let it spill that Melanie was coming. Currently, she was at Spencer’s apartment, waiting for Rayna to pick her up. Spencer hated keeping it from Nessa, but the joy from the surprise when she saw her would be worth it.
“She wanted to, Ness, but she couldn’t.”
Nessa’s small frown was enough to make Spencer second guess keeping this a secret.
“She wanted to. Really, really bad, but her rehab didn’t think it would be a good idea. She’s working really hard to come home so she can see you again regularly.”
That made her nod, but her smile was still weak.
“But hey.” Spencer lifted her chin, “I’ll bet money they’ll let her call you when we get home.”
“Really?” The last time they talked was a year and a half ago.
“I’m positive.”
“Okay, Uncle Spence.” She smiled, a little brighter.
“Good. Now come on, you can’t keep your guests waiting all night.”
Spencer took her hand, giving his mom a look that he hoped she read as, ‘tell me if I’m going to hell’ because he felt like it.
Spencer was stunned when they arrived at the party. New Horizon looked even better than it did when Nicole originally showed it to them. Art donned every wall of the community center. Not just any art either. It was art customized for Nessa.
A sketch portrait of her smiling was the first sight guests saw when they walked in. Spencer recognized the artist as Emma, the artist Nessa, worked with the day of the cake tasting. After helping her practice, Emma sketched Nessa. The finished product was better than Spencer could have imagined it.
Following the music brought guests downstairs to the ballroom. The large space had been taken over by a dancefloor stage so the kids could dance to the DJ. Like promised, rooms in the center were open dedicated to a different art activity with a professional artist specific to the craft.
One room allowed the kids, with the help of a vendor, to paint different picturesque images. On the projector, the artist displayed images of ocean cliff-sides, zoo animals, superheroes, and more. He would go around the room, guiding and helping the young minds. Something Spencer could see himself doing and loving.
In another room, a pottery class was held. A vendor helped kids make clay mugs, plates, jewelry trays. A third and fourth room had canvas and easels set up, while Emma and another artist taught the basics of sketching.
Spencer and Nessa trek through the litter of kids and parents to get to the dining room. Set up like a rehearsal dinner, there was a table up front for the guest of honor and her guests. With smaller tables filling out the rest of the room.
Pink and purple cloth dressed the tables with matching flower centerpieces. Number six balloons were tied down to the floor. No chance of them getting loose. Between the dining room and hall was a face painting and photo booth. Kids could choose what they wanted to be painted as, then get their pictures taken.
In the opposite corner was where the avalanche of gifts Nessa was racking up stood. “This is amazing.” Nessa smiled as she took everything in.
“It is.” Spencer had to agree. He hadn’t seen anything like it before. Nicole really pulled it off.
“There you are!”
Both Spencer and Nessa looked toward the voice, finding Nicole walking over to them. Spencer’s heart sped up seeing her. She wore an olive green a-line knee-length chiffon dress. She easily could’ve been mistaken for a bridesmaid, but looked every bit as beautiful as a bride.
“Ms. Nicole!” Nessa met Nicole halfway and waited for her to bend down to hug her. Spencer saw Nicole’s eyes close as she held Nessa tight for the last time. She wanted to be rid of Spencer, which unfortunately meant letting go of his little girl too.
“Hey, little one.” Nicole kissed her cheek, her brown eyes blinking back at hers.
“Why do you look sad?”
“In all honesty, Nessa, it’s been a hard two weeks for me. But nothing brought me more happiness than planning this party. I knew how much it meant to you. I wanted it to be the best.”
“It is, Miss Nicole! I love it.”
“That makes me so happy to hear.” From the distance they were apart, Spencer could still make out that the stars in Nicole’s eyes weren’t the reflection of the above lights, but tears.
“Nicole,” he called. It was the first time her gaze fell on him since she entered the room. “Can you keep an eye on Nessa for me for a second?”
She must’ve been questioning it, but didn’t vocalize it. “Sure. Nessa, do you want to a tour of the kitchen and see the delicious food we’re about to eat?”
The kid nodded her head and took Nicole’s hand as they walked out of the room. It gave them time to hang out one-on-one like they both wanted and for Spencer to check in on the surprise. A text was waiting for him.
Melanie: Mom and I will be there in 10 minutes. Can’t wait to see her. Thanks again for this.
Spencer smiled at the message. For all he had done wrong lately, he was glad to have gotten this one right. “Spence,” a voice deeper than a kid’s shouted towards him.
It was Lawrence with Yara by his side. “Where is the birthday girl?” Lawrence questioned, looking around the room for her.
“You didn’t forget her at home, did you?” Yara teased.
“She’s with Nicole on a tour of the kitchen.”
“Is she coming back soon? Cause we would like to give Nessa her gifts personally since we’re special to her.”
Yara nodded. “Exactly. I didn’t buy this overpriced teddy bear from my campus gift store just for it to get lost in that mountain.”
“She’ll be back soon, guys, but I would recommend holding off on them. The best gift she’s getting will be here in about five minutes.”
Lawrence arched his eyebrow, then unfurled it. “Melanie is coming?”
“Oh,” Yara added. She took Lawrence’s gift wrapped present out of his hands. “The mountain suddenly doesn’t look so bad anymore. I’ll go and add Teddy and your gift to it.”
Lawrence waited until she was away to ask, “How could you not give me a heads-up on that?”
“It came together at the last minute. Otherwise you would’ve been one of the first to know.”
“Alright, alright. You’re forgiven. I’m just glad everything worked out. She should be here for this.”
“That’s what I thought too. This wouldn’t have been complete without her being a part of it.”
Spencer looked down at his chiming phone again, then at Lawrence again. “My mom and Melanie are here.”
Anxiety started to set in. “Relax,” his friend advised him, seeing it take over his demeanor. “I’ll go and get them while you get Nessa.”
Spencer nodded, liking the sound of that. “Have them waiting in the courtyard. I want the moment to be Nessa’s. No gossipy parents or overtly curious kids watching and commenting on it.”
“I got you, man.” Lawrence slapped his arm as he walked past him.
“Thank you.” Spencer didn’t know if Lawrence understood how much his friendship meant to him, but he hoped he got to repay him for it one day.
After checking every room in the building what felt like a dozen times, Spencer found the kitchen. Catching Nessa and Nicole stealing cupcakes from the platter. “Nessa,” he warned, walking in.
Nicole turned around and gave him a dirty look. “She’s the birthday girl. She should get what she wants,” she told him as she tried to defend their actions.
“I don’t think the birthday girl wants a stomachache.”
“I won’t get a stomachache. My stomach is strong.”
“Oh yeah.” Spencer laughed. “I forgot, you have the stomach of a goat.”
“A goat?” Nicole and Nessa both questioned him.
“Yes. I read they’re supposed to have the strongest stomachs of all animals.”
“Uncle Spence, stuff like this is why you’re single.”
Nicole snorted, covering her mouth when Spencer shot her a look. “Alright birthday girl, I’ll let you have that one because it is your day and because it’s time for you to get one of your gifts.”
“Gift opening isn’t supposed to happen until after they eat.” Nicole eyed him warily.
“This one gift requires her to open it now.”
That piqued Nessa’s interest. She ate the rest of her cupcake in one bite. “I’m ready,” she said with her mouth full.
“Drink something before you choke.”
“I got it.” Nicole gifted her with a strawberry milk carton.
She drank it long enough to seal Spencer’s approval. Then he took Nessa’s hand. “Close your eyes.”
She did, and he led Nessa out of the kitchen. Spencer kept looking back to make sure Nessa hadn’t opened them. She didn’t, but each time he checked, it surprised him to see Nicole tailing them .
“Why are you following us?” he mouthed.
“We’re on a schedule,” she replied, pointing to the imaginary watch on her wrist.
She was right. They had a party to get back to. “5 minutes. That’s all we need.”
Nicole’s face showed reluctance, but she didn’t fight him on it. She stood a few feet away as Spencer stopped Nessa in front of the double doors leading into the courtyard. He opened the door.
“Don’t peek,” he whispered into her ear. He held onto her shoulders, guiding her to the middle of the garden where Melanie stood. Rayna and Lawrence stood aside, their faces beaming from a moment they knew this would be.
“Open your eyes,” Spencer told her.
She did, her breath catching as she saw who was standing in front of her. “Mom?” Her eyes widened, looking between her and Spencer, who was bent down, closer to her height. “Is she real?”
“Yeah, sweetheart. She’s real.”
“But you told me—“
“I know. I lied.”
“You say to never do that.”
“There are exceptions. This was one of them.”
Nessa looked at her again. Melanie was doing her best not to scare Nessa away by blubbering, but the tears were threatening to escape her.
“Go ahead, Nessa. Give her a hug.”
His request gave her the permission to do the thing she’d been seeking for a year and a half. Spencer watched Nessa, in her ballet flats, run into Melanie’s arms. His feet stayed planted where they were, knowing they needed this moment without interruption.
“You came!”
Melanie picked her up, holding her close to her heart. “I didn’t want to miss another one of these. Going forward, I want to be here for every one of your birthdays, baby.”
“What about when I’m sixty? You’ll be pretty old by then.”
Melanie laughed, wiping away her tears. “If I’m still here and you want me, I’ll be there.”
“I always want you, mommy.”
“Me too, Nessa.”
Spencer stood to his full height. Lawrence had his arm around Rayna’s shoulder, while she sent Spencer air kisses. This moment wouldn’t have been possible if he hadn’t loosened the reins.
He could be protective of Nessa without being controlling. People she wanted could come into her life, and he didn’t have to worry they’d disappoint her. Spencer couldn’t take back the time Melanie missed or the pain that could’ve been avoided if he’d been less afraid, but he could be better. He planned on doing better.
“I really hate myself for interrupting this, but you all should probably get inside.” Nicole’s voice rang through his ears, breaking the spell. He turned and saw her standing by the door, the stars having formed constellations in her eyes. “The birthday girl has a party to attend.”