28. Caspian
CASPIAN
T he warm water of the shower cascaded down my body after a long fucking day.
I’d needed this to clear my head.
Our numbers had more than doubled because of the Lucchese takeover, which meant we had more men on the payroll, more assignments to give out, more mouths to feed, more backs to watch. More everything.
The organization of our Italian forces fell to me, and I worked with Giulio to reorganize and structure the new men within our ranks. While I’d been worried about loyalty problems, the Lucchese Family had been going downhill for a while, so the men were ready to jump ship. What a relief.
To manage the takeover, we’d promoted Giulio to an actual underboss, reporting to me as my right-hand man.
He’d stepped up since that fateful night at the Tommaso estate when we’d locked eyes across the front yard.
On top of regular duties, it was his job to ferret out stronger men who could manage their own teams and report to him so our structure could get stronger.
Our syndicate needed underbosses and capos and leaders to keep everything running .
Meanwhile, we’d put our new men to work, organizing hits against Max.
We’d busted up one of his underground fight clubs, and we’d been strong-arming his drug dealers to push them out of their turf.
The drugs we got from the Russians were higher quality, and Makarov had been great with his supply, so our customer base was expanding.
Money flowed, and we were already paying our people more than before.
With our increased numbers, we were growing from a thorn in Max’s side to a two-by-four.
The goal was to keep bleeding him until he couldn’t keep up with it.
It filled me with great pride every time I got a report from Giulio that we’d stolen something or intimidated one of his men into backing off.
We finally had the resources to win the game.
I washed my body with soap and scrubbed my hair with shampoo while my thoughts turned back to our life within the penthouse.
I’d hoped our victories would help Leona, ease her fears or make her open up a little bit more. Killing Lucchese and his sons had legitimized us in a new way, and I thought she’d be relieved and happy. The men were saying her name with pride now instead of disbelief.
But it didn’t.
Her nightmares were getting worse.
She’d wake up screaming. She’d complain about feeling frozen, so we’d pile more blankets on top of her. I’d think we’d all fall back asleep, but then in the morning, I’d find her in Obi’s bed. He texted us all that she wouldn’t tell him anything, but she’d at least sleep.
The rest of us were trying to find the balance between supporting her, giving her space, and showing her we wanted her, but she was so up and down.
Ciel told us she didn’t feel wanted, which broke my fucking heart, but then when I tried to talk to her about it, she laughed me off and said she was feeling better .
We’d kissed a few times, and she’d done the same with the other guys, but I’d still feel her body stiffen and her hands grip me just a little tighter, so I’d pull away. Something still wasn’t right, and I had no idea what to do about it.
I’d promised myself I wouldn’t push her. It would just make things worse. I’d give herself the time to process what happened on the ship and tell us the truth on her own terms.
But if things were getting worse anyway, what was I supposed to do?
I had to think of something.
I let the water run over my face, praying that maybe the answers would fall out of the showerhead and smack me in the nose.
When nothing came, I shut off the water and stepped out. I was just wrapping a towel around my waist when my phone buzzed on the bathroom counter.
My lips pulled down in a frown while I read the message.
I threw on some clothes, hastily towel drying my hair, before heading into the living room.
Ciel sat at the kitchen island eating some dinner while playing a game on his phone. It was already past 8 p.m. I wasn’t sure where the rest of the guys were, but I thought I saw Ryuji heading down to the gym when I got home earlier.
“Do you know where Leona is?” I asked.
He pointed his fork toward the hallway. “I think she’s in the library working.” I sighed. She needed to rest. “Why? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just need to talk to her,” I replied. “Thanks, Ciel.”
“I’m going to make some food for Wynn,” he called after me. “Do you want anything?”
“I’m fine!” I called back just as I got to the closed library doors.
I knocked and poked my head in. She sat at Obi’s desk, legs crossed with a blanket over her lap, while she typed on her laptop. She looked up and smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey yourself.” I walked in and pulled the door shut behind me. “What are you working on?”
“VCI stuff,” she replied. “One of our vendors is changing, so it alters the route Anton needs to take through Arizona and New Mexico to Texas. I’m trying to plot a better alternative.”
Her eyes floated back to the computer screen, and that little wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows. I leaned on the desk and reached out to smooth it. Her eyes closed with a heavy sigh.
“I have something to tell you if you can spare some minutes for your lowly bodyguard,” I said softly.
She laughed. “Only if it’s something good.” When I didn’t immediately reply, she shot to her feet. The blanket fell to the ground. “What is it, Cas?”
I grabbed her hands and pulled her against my chest. Her fingers trembled. “Hey, it’s fine. Nothing’s wrong, okay? Take a breath.”
She blinked, inhaling and exhaling. “Don’t scare me like that.”
“I wasn’t trying to.” I brushed my thumb over her cheek. “It’s technically good news.”
“Okay,” she said cautiously. “Then what is it?”
“Giulio just texted me that the Albanians hit Max pretty hard tonight.” We’d made no more progress in locating Vokshi since we lost him at the marina.
He’d been a ghost, and it was driving Wynn and Ciel crazy with frustration.
The two of them had been trying to pool their efforts to figure out how he had disappeared.
Her eyebrows knit together. “What? How?”
“A bomb went off in one of his casinos. Diamonds.”
“That’s the big one.”
I nodded. “Giulio said the word on the street is that five of his men died, and about a dozen customers.”
“Holy shit,” she whispered. “That’s going to hamstring his operations. No one will want to come, especially not if the attack is going to be investigated by the cops. How the hell did they get a bomb inside?”
I shook my head. “I’m not sure, but it was a big hit. Well-planned.”
She looked up, her voice tight. “Was Max there?”
“I think he was, but I haven’t heard if he was injured or not.”
She let go of a breath. “This is… good, right? I mean, our enemy hit our other enemy. That’s what we want, isn’t it?”
My lips pressed together. My brain said yes, but my body couldn’t decide. My chest felt tight. It felt nothing like relief or happiness. We should be jumping for joy right now. “Yeah. I think so.”
“Yeah. You’re right.” She wound her arms around my neck. My palms planted on her waist. “My heart is racing, probably because it’s good news. This will distract Max. It’ll make it easier for us to keep hitting him, won’t it?”
I drew her closer, pressing her chest against mine. “Yeah. That’s definitely it.”
“I mean, he’s a total dick,” she said, her voice growing stronger. More confident. “He deserves this. The Albanians are doing us a favor. Maybe now he’ll stop interrupting our business. Vokshi only got free at the marina because of him.”
“That’s right,” I agreed, pulling her tighter against me. “It’s a taste of his own medicine. Remember when he tried to blow you up at Ryuji’s club?”
“Fucking asshole,” she said. “I almost forgot about that.”
“Yeah, so, fuck him.” I cradled the back of her neck. I’d almost lost her then. I’d almost lost her with the Albanians. I was so fucking grateful to have her in my arms now.
“Cas,” she said, pulling back. Her eyes flicked down to my lips, and a slight blush dusted her cheeks. The air between us crackled. “I…kiss me.”
She pushed up on her toes and pressed a kiss to my lips.
I met her softly at first, but it only took the sweep of her tongue on my lips for a wave of emotion to overtake me.
Fuck . I tilted her head back to deepen the kiss, and it turned heated in an instant.
I switched our positions so she was against the desk, gripped her ass cheeks, and sat her on the wooden surface.
My hips wedged between her legs while her heel wrapped around the back of my thigh.
I was so fucking greedy for her. Desperate, even. I loved her so goddamn much.
“Touch me,” she whispered.
My hands traced the outline of her waist and ribs, feeling the smoothness of her skin. With a groan, I dipped my head and inhaled her scent as my nose brushed against her collarbone.
“Princess,” I breathed. My dick strained in my pants. I wanted to be buried to the hilt inside her, to mark her and claim her and remind the entire world that she was ours . She wore my ring. She’d be my wife. Our souls were twisted together, and no one could tease them apart.
My fingers were just skimming the waist of her leggings when her phone dinged on the desk next to us. Then it dinged again. And again. Until Leona broke our kiss with a laugh.
“Sorry,” she said, picking it up and silencing it. “It’s just Fallon and the girls.”
“Yeah?” I nipped her bottom lip. “What are they saying?”
“Willow roped us all into a group chat,” she answered, breathless. Her hands reached for my sweatpants at the same time an idea popped into my head.
“Maybe you should go visit them in Philadelphia?” I doubted Ryuji would be happy with her leaving the penthouse—he’d probably camp out in front of Willow’s or Fallon’s house—but I had a feeling that she needed that.
She paused just as her fingers dipped inside my sweats. I almost groaned at her touch on the dip of my muscles. “But we’re so busy here… ”
“Yeah, but maybe seeing Willow and talking to her would be good.” I tried to sound light and encouraging while I left a trail of kisses up the column of her neck. “Maybe you could talk to some girls at her haven, too.”
She pulled away. “What do you mean?”
“I just mean…” I swallowed, searching her eyes. All my blood was in my cock, not my brain. “It might make you feel better.”
If she couldn’t talk to us, maybe she could talk to them. They’d understand in a way we couldn’t. They could be a safe space. I didn’t care who she talked to, just that she started feeling better. I wanted her nightmares to stop and for her to stop flinching when one of us caught her off guard.
Her palms pressed against my biceps, forcing me back. “I’m fine, Cas. I don’t need to feel better. Nothing is wrong. What happened is over.”
My heart sank to my fucking stomach. Her face closed up, and she pulled from my grasp, hopping off the desk.
Instantly I was fifteen again, in Max’s room, telling him he could talk to me about his father’s death.
He’d been closed off for weeks, shutting both Leona and me out.
The grief he’d felt had consumed him. I’d told him he could talk to me, but he shut down.
Not knowing what to do, I’d changed the subject and promised myself that I’d support him by being there for him, but I wouldn’t push him again.
Eventually, he’d come out the other side, and I knew I’d made the right choice by being patient.
“Wait,” I said, hooking my hand around her waist. I pulled her back to my chest and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“I’m sorry. I know nothing is wrong. I was just thinking you’re friends with Willow.
It’s good to have girlfriends. You’ve been locked up with five guys. I know how horrid we are as roommates.”
Her back shook with light laughter. “Look, I love you, Caspian, but you never wash your dishes and you leave days old cups on our nightstand. There was a coffee cup in our room that I swear was growing a new species of bacteria. Clean up after yourself.”
I grinned, hugging her. “Sorry. I’ll do better.”
“Thanks.” She twisted in my arms and cupped my cheek. “I have to get back to work, though. I need to get Anton this route by tomorrow so his transports aren’t delayed.”
I nodded, giving her one more slow kiss.
I wasn’t going anywhere. I wouldn’t push her until she was ready.
One breath at a time .