Fifteen #2
The weirdest part about this whole thing with Phoenix is I always separate myself from my attraction. I never let it cloud my judgment or make me do stupid shit. Or at least, stupid shit I actually regret. Yet something about him isn’t letting my old ways stick.
He’s crawled under my skin, burrowed beneath the surface and made a home there. And while it was irritating at first, it’s gotten to the point where…I like him there. Want him there.
My eyes sink closed, finally allowing myself to admit what I’ve known for a while now.
I want him.
This stick-up-his-ass, frustrating-as-hell guy who, quite frankly, wants nothing to do with me.
And I don’t know how to navigate it. Nor do I know how to navigate the pure, jealous rage that slams into me when my lids lift to find some random dude chatting it up with him.
Motherfucker. Where the fuck is Theo?
Fury ignites my own blood as I watch the two of them. The curly-haired surfer jackass is noticeably more into the conversation than Phoenix is. Then again, how can he possibly be interested in the guy when his eyes keep darting back to me every three seconds?
But then the fuck-face puts his hand on Phoenix’s arm, and Phoenix smiles.
Not at the douchenozzle.
At me.
Oh, hell no.
“Gonna get a drink,” I tell Kason, freeing myself from his grasp. Not waiting for a response, I storm to where Phoenix is still chatting it up with this dickweed, his eyes locked on me the whole way over.
Once I reach the bar, I slide into the space behind Phoenix and slip my arm around his waist.
“Hey, baby,” I say loud enough for numb-nuts to hear me. “You want another drink?”
Cum dumpster’s eyes lift to meet mine, the blue orbs widening when he realizes what I just said. It has the desired effect too, because he quickly removes his hand from Phoenix’s arm.
“Shit. Sorry, man. I didn’t realize.”
He doesn’t wait for a response, just grabs his beer and walks off toward the other end of the bar.
Gold star for the asswipe.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Phoenix seethes. He turns in my arm before attempting to worm his way from my grip. But even when I’m drinking, there’s not a chance in hell of that happening unless I want it to.
“Me? What’re you doing?”
His nostrils flare as he aims his infamous death glare at me. “I’m letting loose. Having fun. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to be doing?”
It is, but goddamnit. Not like that. Not when—
“You don’t even know that guy.”
The words come flying out of my mouth before I can stop them, and I really should stop them. What Phoenix does and who he does it with should be of little to no consequence to me. Yet here I am, all ragey and pissed off when another man was just talking with him.
Granted, his hands were on Phoenix, but still.
Something between a smirk and a snarl curls his lip up. “Careful, Holden. That sounds an awful lot like jealousy.”
I’m floored to realize…yeah, I’m jealous. Of some twat-waffle who has nothing to offer Phoenix that I can’t give him myself. The epiphany smacks me clear in the face, and it’s enough to have me releasing him.
He must see it in my eyes as he nods and steps away from me.
“Thought so,” he mutters. “Now, why don’t you go back to Kason and dry hump some more on the dance floor?”
I’m still reeling as I watch him cross the space toward the back hallway.
Something snaps me out of it, though, because I’m quick to follow as he disappears around the corner, heading toward the bathroom. Either he’s genuinely oblivious to me being behind him or doesn’t care, but regardless, he doesn’t see it coming when I grab his arm and drag him toward me.
His chest collides with mine, momentarily stunning him as I back his body against the drywall.
“Get off me, Holden,” he snaps, his dark eyes appearing pitch-fucking-black in this lighting.
I shake my head, alcohol and confusion swirling together as I stare at his pink lips and dark lashes, truly hating myself for noticing just how…beautiful he is.
My words come out in a harsh whisper; an angry, desperate plea for reprieve.
“What are you doing to me, Nix?”
“You’re the one pinning me up against the wall of a club,” he growls. “So I’m not the one doing a damn thing.”
“Not what I meant,” I bite out, inching in closer. “What are you doing to my head?”
“Someone finally getting sick of the mind games?”
“Yeah, I am.” My attention shifts, dancing between his eyes and mouth. “And I’m sick of knowing how sweet you taste, when in reality, you’re not sweet at all.”
He scoffs, and it’s filled to the brim with all the hatred and contempt he’s been trying to keep under wraps since we made it down here. But it’s all there now, pouring over the surface.
“Because people always want to be equated to a Sour Patch Kid, right?”
I can’t help but laugh, shaking my head. “See what I mean?” I implore, my hands fisting against the wall. “So. Fucking. Abrasive. It’s driving me insane.”
“You don’t think you’re making me feel just as crazy?” He shakes his head, equal parts disdain and desire laced in his tone. “I wish I’d never met you.”
His words instantly sober me, a slow smile creeping over my lips.
“You remember that thing I said about your eyes and your mouth not matching?” His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows before he gives me a slow nod in response, and I can’t help the smile that curves my lips. “Well, you’re doing it again.”
Phoenix’s eyes flare with resentment. “You’re full of shit.”
“I’m full of a lot of things. Hormones, lust, alcohol. But I know a lie when I see it, Nix.”
He scoffs, but there’s not the usual snark to it. And the same goes with his words when he says, “You’re sex-starved, drunk, and delusional.”
“I’ve already admitted to the first two, but the only one acting delusional here is you.”
I crowd in closer to him, my body nearly enveloping his against the cool drywall. We’re chest to chest, every inch of our bodies plastered together, and I know he has to feel my cock pressed into his hip.
I sure as hell can feel his.
“You want me, you’re just too loyal and proud to admit that not having me is killing you.”
“Like I said. Delusional.”
Avoidance has been his forte far longer than should be allowed, and I’m done letting him off that easily. It’s why I catch his jaw between two fingers and turn his head to face me again.
“You sure about that?”
He smacks my hand away, irritation once again bubbling to the surface as his demand comes out in a growl. “Touch me again, Holden. I fucking dare you.”
“Oh, you’ve got teeth,” I murmur, not at all affected by his venom. “Feel free to use them on me later.”
“Never again.”
He realizes his mistake the moment after I do, because his eyes flash up to mine. Worry and regret swim at the surface of their dark depths as he stares at me.
“Oh, so we’re finally gonna talk about this, huh, Nix?” I snap, pressing in even closer. Close enough for me to feel his breath and taste the hint of beer on his lips.
“Talk about what?”
“Us sleeping together,” I say plainly, not bothering to mince words. We’re long past the time for that. “Or were you gonna try keeping me in the dark about our little hook-up forever? Or better yet, maybe you were hoping Theo might let it slip so you’d never have to tell me?”
Phoenix’s lips part slightly as a look of astonishment takes over his features. His eyes dart back and forth between mine until something inside him just snaps.
“What do you mean by keeping you in the dark? ” he snarls, teeth bared. “You’re the one who has been acting like you have no clue who I am or what happened at the Kappa house back in May.”
“Because I didn’t.” My eyes dart back and forth between his, feeling the anger diffuse.
“I didn’t know. I thought the first time we met was in November.
You know, the night you decided to turn into the world’s biggest cock-block?
It wasn’t until Theo mentioned something on the way down here that I found out it wasn’t. ”
Something on my face must finally convince him—make him understand that this entire conversation is as foreign to me as the idea that he and I have slept together—and he blinks as if he’s seeing me for the first time.
“I…I don’t understand—”
“Hey, there you are,” Kason says, appearing out of nowhere from around the corner. I can tell he’s drunk before he even approaches, only to be confirmed when I turn to him to find a massive, drunken grin on his face. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
“Bathroom,” I tell him as I step away from Phoenix. “Ran into Phoenix on the way out.”
I feel Phoenix’s gaze on me as I take another step back, only for it to get worse when Kason wraps his arm around my waist.
“You owe me a dance.”
Then he links his fingers with mine and drags me back to the dance floor. And just like the kiss after the volleyball game, I feel Phoenix’s eyes on me the entire time.