Twenty
Phoenix
We make great time returning to Nashville the next day, giving us the remainder of the late afternoon and evening to spend with my family. And all three of them are a welcome sight in the doorway after ten miserable hours in the car with Kason and Holden.
No amount of Netflix, Spotify, or reading could save me from the thoughts circling around the three of us and the fucked-up situation we’ve found ourselves in—one Kason is still wholly oblivious to.
Or from looking in the mirror, only to catch Holden’s gaze already on me, which was so much worse.
Because every time our eyes collide now, there’s a lot more depth in them.
I don’t know how to describe it other than that, and it’s enough to have me looking away every time.
Just like right now, as he brushes by me to enter the house with the rest of the guys.
“Phoe Phoe!” Charlotte screeches, steering my gaze to her.
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” I sweep her off the ground the second she’s within reach and swing her around in circles, drawing out endless bouts of laughter and giggles.
“I miss you so much,” she says, wrapping her arms around my neck in a bear hug.
“I miss you too, Bug,” I tell her, squeezing her a little tighter than necessary. I didn’t realize how much that was true until I was actually holding her in my arms.
“Did you have the best time?”
Her hazel eyes twinkle as she smiles at me, ready to hear all about our adventures.
Ones probably far more epic in her head than in reality.
Nonetheless, Charlotte’s always had a massive love for the ocean, and in turn, any time we spend down at the condo.
I think it’s the place she’s happiest, which is why the next words to come out of my mouth are nothing short of the truth.
“It was fun, just not as much fun if you would’ve been there.”
If possible, her smile grows even wider.
She babbles on and on for a couple minutes about all the things that happened at school this term, and I probably only understand half of it because she’s speaking so fast. But the animated way she talks and tosses her hands in the air while she does wraps a fist around my heart and squeezes.
Not as much as when she pauses and looks me dead in the eye to ask, “Do you really have to go back to college tomorrow?”
One single emotion slams into me at full force at her words. Guilt. It’s all I seem to be feeling these days. Maybe it’s because I feel like I’m constantly letting everyone down.
“You know I have to go back to school,” I tell my little sister, hating the sadness on her face the moment the words leave my lips. “I would stay here with you if I could. You know that, right?”
She nods and quickly bounces back into more cheerful spirits when she remembers we have company. Lots of it.
“Put me down so I can go say hi to KK,” she commands. “I didn’t get to see him yet. Or anyone else. I want to meet all your friends.”
Charlotte didn’t see any of the guys when we passed through last week. She was already asleep when we got here on the way down, and with a heavy driving day the next morning, we left before she was even awake. So naturally, her FOMO is demanding she gets the chance now.
I laugh and, per her request, set her on her feet so she can find wherever Kason’s disappeared to within the house. Probably in the room directly across from mine, where he’s always stayed when he needed an escape from his own home.
“She’s cute,” a voice says from behind me as I watch her scamper off, instantly creating a warm, fuzzy sensation in my stomach.
I was so distracted by giving Charlotte my undivided attention, I hadn’t realized Holden was still standing there. Hadn’t felt his penetrating gaze boring into me, so I assumed he’d gone off with the rest of the guys to find a place to sleep.
“Yeah, she is.” I peer down the hall where she disappeared before adding, “She’s one of my favorite people on this planet.”
In truth, I’m close to my entire family. It’s not common these days, but we’ve always had a very tight-knit bond. Despite Dad’s demanding career, he’s always made time for our family, and it’s something I’ll forever be grateful for.
“I can see why.” Holden gives me a soft smile that does something stupid to the organ in my chest. “She seems like a little spitfire. I wonder who she gets it from.”
“Whatever you’re implying, I can guarantee you’re wrong.”
“That your little sister is just like you?”
My eyes flash to him, and I murmur, “An impossibility, seeing as she’s adopted.”
Holden blinks, like he’s not sure he heard me correctly. “What?”
“She and her parents were in a terrible car wreck when she was six months old. She lived, they didn’t.
” I pause and clear my throat, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me.
“Mom and Dad always wanted another kid, and when the opportunity presented itself, they took it. She might not be my blood, but she’s my sister in all the ways that matter. ”
It’s strange, sharing this bit of my family with him. The only person at Leighton who knows the truth about Charlotte’s birth parents is Kason, and that’s because he lived it with me. But as strange as it might be to give Holden this information, I don’t have the power not to.
“I…I didn’t—”
“I know you didn’t,” I cut in, letting him off the hook. “How would you have?”
His teeth roll over his bottom lip, worrying it in a way that makes me think I’m missing something, yet I have no idea what it could be. But then he just shrugs, throwing my thinking entirely off course.
“I guess you’re right.”
I don’t have the chance to open my mouth because Charlotte comes running back down the hall.
“Phoe Phoe, this is your friend Holden, right?” she asks, still running toward Holden, making no sign of stopping until his hands land on her shoulder so she doesn’t collide with his legs.
I open my mouth to speak, but Holden’s charismatic charm takes care of it for me when he squats down, dropping to her level to speak with her.
“I sure am, but I don’t think I’ve met you. What’s your name?”
“I’m Charlotte Louise Mercer, and I’m six years old,” she says, a big smile on her face. “But Phoe Phoe calls me Bug, and since you’re his friend, that means you can too.”
Holden glances up at me and lets out a fake little scoff before giving her his attention again. “You look more like a princess than a bug to me.”
“Thanks, I think so, too.”
He lets out a laugh, “And modest.”
Charlotte’s blonde brows scrunch together as she looks at me. “Phoe Phoe, what does that mean?”
I smile at her, not quite sure I’m ready to explain the inner workings of sarcasm to a six-year-old. “He’s just being silly,” I tell her.
She gives a little shrug before turning back to Holden, totally unphased. “KK said you have pictures to show me.”
“KK?” Holden repeats, his eyes flicking up to me. “Seriously?”
“Judge the nicknames, I dare you,” I warn, my brow arched in his direction. “Because I can easily get her to start calling you HoHo.”
God only knows it would be fitting.
“Like Santa says!” she pipes in, and all three of us start to laugh.
I smile down at her. “Something like that, Bug. Now what do you mean by pictures?”
Even I have no idea what she’s talking about, and from the looks of it, Holden doesn’t either.
Charlotte is radiating happiness and joy when she peers back at Holden again. “KK told me you took pictures of Mingo, and I want to see them.”
Confusion is written all over his face before glancing at me. And then, just like that, the lightbulb switches on.
“Charlotte, I’m more than happy to do that, but I need to tell you a little secret first.”
Her tiny eyes widen and she nods quickly. “Okay. I can keep secrets.”
“Okay, well…I called Mingo something else when I was there. Francesco. Is that okay with you?”
She giggles a little, her tiny nose scrunching up as she does. “That’s a funny name, but I don’t think Mingo would mind.”
“Good, then where do you want—”
“Let’s go!” Charlotte grabs his hand and starts yanking him toward the living room, breaking out into a run.
A hilarious sight, considering he takes one stride for her three or four.
Still, the sight of the two of them hand-in-hand also makes the organ in my chest stutter and stumble as it beats, especially when he glances over his shoulder and beams at me.
I’ve really gotta get a fucking grip.
I follow as she pulls him into the living room, only to find some of the guys already in there chatting or scrolling through their phones while we wait for the pizza Dad ordered for dinner.
Charlotte isn’t fazed however, dragging Holden over to the giant beanbag in the corner she’s claimed as hers since the day we brought her home.
She plops down on the thing, and Holden carefully folds himself into it beside her and pulls out his phone.
Together, the two of them swipe through whatever images are on there.
A few of them I saw him take, like one with his duck on top of the flamingo’s head or one with him sitting on the float, legs on either side of the neck, tossing a “hang loose” sign in the air.
They go on like that for twenty minutes before she’s asking to start all over again.
“Let me see the duck one again,” Charlotte says, drawing my attention back to them.
“Okay, okay.” He chuckles and starts flipping through his phone again before showing her.
Giggles come bubbling from her lips, the sound music to my ears after the turmoil I’ve been feeling lately, and a sense of lightness settles over me for the first time in weeks. Being around Bug always seems to have that effect.
“More, more,” she demands, while doing a little bounce beside him. Only, rather than waiting on Holden to do the swiping, she grabs the phone from his hands, clearly intent on doing it herself.
“Shi—oot, hold on,” Holden mutters, grabbing his phone away from her. “There’s a couple in here that shouldn’t be viewed by innocent eyes.”