Thirty-One
Phoenix
My brain can’t help replaying Holden’s declaration in my brain repeatedly while he stares up at me. The intensity in his gaze burns like a raging fire, speaking volumes about desire and lust. It’s palpable. Intoxicating.
It’s enough to spur me into action, gripping his waist and tunneling inside him with a single, powerful thrust. I bottom out, my hips pressed flush against his ass while a sharp gasp escapes him.
“Holy fuck,” Holden pants before sinking his teeth into the plush bottom lip.
And holy fuck is right. Being inside him is nothing short of being sent straight into Nirvana, and the way he’s clamping and squeezing around my length tells me this could all be over much sooner than either of us would like it to be.
I lean in, capturing his mouth with my own while I let his body adjust. My tongue prods at the seam of his lips before spearing between them, fucking and rolling against his in a seductive dance. Claiming it. Taking ownership of what’s mine, just like he said I could.
My hips start moving of their own accord, pulling back so just the tip is still inside him before sliding all the way home. Nothing about this is slow or sensual, how things normally are. The way I fuck him with reckless abandon—now pistoning my hips relentlessly—is downright carnal.
I’m pounding into his ass like being inside him is the only thing keeping me grounded to Earth.
And honestly? It very well might be.
He’s the first to break our kiss, letting out a breathy moan when I brush over his prostate, and the sound is music to my ears. All gruff and raspy as I drag it from his mouth the same way I’m pulling every ounce of pleasure I can out of him.
Taking it all. Leaving nothing left behind.
“Nix,” he whispers, a plea that I steal straight from his lips.
I mold my mouth to his again, swallowing down every breath and sigh that dares to escape from where they’re joined. His fingers claw at the back of my head, holding me there while our tongues and bodies meld together in a perfect rhythm.
One I’ve never experienced with anyone else, only him.
He starts meeting me thrust for thrust, arching up into me as I pump my hips forward at a haphazard pace. My self-control is hanging by a thread, and every moan Holden makes against my lips or squeeze of his ass around my length frays it by the second.
And though I’m desperate for release, I’m not ready for this to end.
Breaking apart for air, I rest my forehead against his and slow my movements slightly, giving us both a little time to breathe.
Mainly because it feels like all the oxygen in the atmosphere has vanished with a single kiss.
Except Holden’s not having it, and his hands leave my hair in favor of my hips to draw me in deeper.
“Give me everything you have,” he rasps, the blunt tips of his fingers digging into my skin. “All of it, Nix. All of you. No holding back.”
His eyes might as well be two pools of molten gold as he stares up at me, want and desire bubbling at the surface. But I see something that feels more profound swirling in their depths too. Something eerily familiar to what I’m feeling now.
And though neither of us has said it to the other, I swear that’s what it is.
I’d be willing to bet my life on it.
“I’ll give you anything you want.” My gaze flicks between his eyes. “Name it, and it’s yours, baby.”
It’d be impossible to miss the way his eyes soften, and I know without asking what he’s thinking. And God, if I don’t want to give him everything he could ever ask for. Even if it scares the living shit out of me.
But instead of bringing life to those thoughts, he asks for something else entirely.
“Then make me yours.”
I can barely breathe past the knot in my throat as I close the distance between our mouths again, his words ringing loud in the recesses of my mind. And though he might want me to own and claim him here tonight, little does he know, he’s been doing just that to me.
Has been for months now.
His hands find my hair again, yanking at the strands while his tongue flicks and rolls against mine. A firm grip keeps me locked in place, unable to escape the raw passion he’s unleashing on my lips while I drive into him with zero control.
But I can’t help it. The way he claims my mouth only makes the aching need for him grow.
To the point where I’m consumed by it. By him.
That tingling feeling of impending release gathers at the base of my spine, and I know I won’t make it much longer. But I want to take him with me when the ground drops out from under me, and I’m sent into free fall.
“Need you there too,” I pant before wrapping my hand around his length.
I roll my fist over the head of his cock on every upstroke, paying extra attention to the sensitive spot below the crown.
A mixture of pain and pleasure crosses his face as he arches off the bed below me, and I recognize it as the desperate need for more.
A sexy, tortured groan escapes from Holden’s lips; the rolling motion of my hips allows my cock to swipe over the spot inside him that makes him see stars.
Each pass takes him closer and closer to blissful ecstasy.
Shoves him toward the edge of release. And from his euphoric expression, he’s loving every second of it.
“That’s it. Fuck, baby. Just look at you,” I whisper in awe, my hand anchored at the back of his neck while I map his every feature. “You were fucking made for me. Meant to be mine.”
It’s not until the words leave my mouth that I realize how true they are. Until Holden, I’d never put much stock into the sense of possession. The ownership of another person—mind, body, and soul. But with him, I want it. Crave it, even.
I want him to be mine in every sense of the word.
And I’m not gonna stop until it happens.
“Shit. I’m close, Nix,” Holden groans, his head sinking back into the mattress below him as his hand covers mine around his shaft.
A set of perfect, white teeth sink into his lower lip as his eyes slide closed, and I watch as the pleasure takes hold before shooting him sky-high. His release drags a long, guttural moan as cum spills from his cock, coating his stomach and our fingers with the milky liquid.
I slip my hand from beneath his, watching as he continues working himself through his orgasm.
His ass clamps around my length, squeezing me to high heaven until it’s nearly unbearable.
But I hold on, still fucking into him frantically until he’s completely wrung dry and panting below me.
Only then does all the tension leave his body, that sated, blissed-out state taking over.
I’m left staring at him in awe, and I swear on my entire life, nothing is more beautiful than this man falling apart beneath me. It’s a sight to behold, and I’ll never stop wanting to watch it happen.
I could do this forever, and I’m not talking about just the sex, either.
I’m talking about all of it. All of him.
Everything.
Fighting, fucking, chasing, loving.
My throat constricts and my heart twists, the last word hitting me harder than expected. Probably because it’s a feeling I never thought I’d associate with Holden, despite having felt it for weeks.
And yet, it’s the only one that makes sense anymore.
I’m unsure if it’s the thought alone, the way Holden’s ass continues clenching around me, or some combination of both, but my orgasm slams into me like a ton of bricks only moments later.
Cum bursts free from my cock, and I quickly pull from his body and coat his stomach with it. Mark his skin with my essence.
Claiming him as mine.
And the look on his face as I do is nothing short of untamed lust.
My pulse races, pounding beneath my skin as I stroke myself through the climax. A mixture of his cum and mine is painted over Holden’s stomach and chest, and that feeling of pride—of ownership—causes my gut to churn and my heart to swell.
I trace my fingers through the sticky liquid, smearing it into his skin before dragging it down to his crease. A soft gasp leaves him as the digits breach him, pressing our essence into the tight heat of his ass and curling them inside him.
“There’s no part of you that’s untouched by me now, baby,” I murmur between pants before withdrawing from his body.
“No piece of you that isn’t mine.” Returning to the mess coating him, I spread the drops on his chest toward his heart and massage them into the skin over the prize I covet most. Emotion clogs my throat as I stake my claim to it, and I’m surprised when the last two words fall free from my lips. “Not anymore.”
The same emotion clenching my own heart is evident in his eyes, and it’s no more than a second before his fingers sift through my hair and he tugs me down to him for a slow, possessive kiss.
One that makes it clear while he might be mine, I’m just as much his.
He’s the first to break for air, but not without brushing his mouth over my cheek, then my temple, before his arms wrap around my lower back. I press my forehead into the crook of his neck, whatever remains of our release smearing between our torsos while he holds me tighter against him.
Like it’s enough to keep me there forever.
We take our time coming back to Earth, and the only thing I can focus on is the lazy paths his fingers trace up and down my spine. That is, until he breaks the peaceful silence lingering between us.
“I’m gonna say something that could possibly ruin all of this,” he murmurs, one hand sliding into the back of my hair.
Swallowing roughly, I pull my head back to look at him and nod. “Okay.”
His eyes search my face, the brown depths shimmering with little golden flecks as the light hits them just right. “I want to know just how far your promise goes. About you giving me anything I want.”
I roll my teeth over my lip, knowing I should’ve seen this coming. How could it not after a declaration like that?
“You want to tell Kason,” I say, and it’s not a question. It’s never been a question for him.
He nods. “I know I said we could do things at your pace and tell him when you’re ready. But I don’t wanna be your dirty little secret anymore, Nix. I can’t be.”
I want to love him out loud; I really do. Let every person on this planet know Holden Sykes chose me, and I’m never letting him go. If Kason wasn’t an issue, there’s a very real chance it would’ve already happened by now.
But that isn’t the world we live in. And though I want nothing more than to let those three little words spill off my tongue the way they’re dying to right now, I can’t.
Not when I can’t guarantee he loves me back.
Not when I have no idea if loving him in the first place will cost me my best friend.
And though I’m getting to that point with every passing day, I’m still not ready to find out either of those things yet.
“Baby, I—”
A loud knock comes from the other side of the door, and panic sets me on high alert. Thankfully, my rational side realizes it must be Theo, and that only causes irritation to lance right through me as I frown at it.
I told Theo I’d let him know when the coast was clear and it was safe for him to come to the room tonight. I told him twice.
But apparently it still isn’t enough when the knocking comes again.
“Look at you. Saved by the bell,” Holden muses, and I peer down to find him smiling. Only the smile doesn’t quite meet his eyes, and for once, I’m starting to see what he means by eyes and mouth.
Damnit.
“It’s gotta be Theo,” I mutter before brushing my lips against his throat. “Maybe if we stay quiet, he’ll go away?”
But when another set of knocking comes a couple of seconds later, I realize those chances are slim to none. Which means telling whoever it is to go fuck off before coming back for another round is my best bet.
“I’m gonna make him leave.”
There’s a suspicious glint in Holden’s eye—like he doesn’t believe me—before he hums a low, “Mhmm.”
“Don’t be like that,” I plead, grabbing my boxers from the ground and sliding them up to my hips.
“I’m not being like anything.”
“Sure. And I didn’t just fuck you halfway to Sunday,” I say with a roll of my eyes. “I’ll tell him to go away, and I’ll be right back.”
Not bothering to wait for a response, I head over to the door, ready to tell Theo to find Noah or Wyatt, or anyone else to room with tonight. It’s his best option, seeing as Holden and I are nowhere near finished.
“Might wanna wipe the cum up first,” Holden calls. “Unless you plan to save that as lube for round two.”
I roll my eyes again despite his point and grab a towel from the bathroom—stepping over our clothes like they’re landmines in the process.
“We can put a pin in that until I take care of this,” I tell him before tossing the cum rag in his direction.
There’s a hint of a genuine smile on his lips when I slip into a pair of sweats, and it makes my own lift in return. However, when another knock sounds, it falters, and I glare at the door some more while swiping my room key from where it lay discarded on the carpet.
“I’m coming!” I shout, annoyance evident in my tone as I go to give Theo a piece of my mind.
“I think you already did,” Holden calls from deeper within the room, and the playfulness eases some of the tension coiled inside me as I flip over the privacy lock and nearly yank the door off its hinges.
“Theo, I told you I’d text you when it was—”
The rest of my sentence dies right there on my lips when the door opens fully, because it’s not my teammate on the other side of the door.
It’s Kason.