Chapter 25 #2
I looked at her and for a split second I thought about Zurie, and her always runnin’ around the house with her dolls. I thought about how I would even kill for her if somebody even looked at her wrong. That’s when it really sank in what Toni had survived.
She started cryin’, her hand coverin’ her mouth. It broke me to see it. I reached over, and put the blunt out. Then, I wiped her tears with my thumb, and kissed the inside of her thigh. “Don’t cry, baby. You know Papa got you,” I said, my voice low and calm.
She ain’t say anything, but I felt her body relax just a lil’ bit.
I moved down, pulled her panties to the side, and kissed her again, this time where she was softest. I ain’t rush to taste her.
I kept my lips between her thighs, breathin’ against ‘em, lettin’ her feel that I wasn’t going nowhere.
I wanted her to know she was safe with me.
When she gave me the smallest shake of her hips, I opened her thighs wider and pressed another kiss to her, slow and gentle like I was kissin’ something bruised.
I spread her legs and started licking her pussy slow.
My tongue moved in long, warm strokes like I was calmin’ her heartbeat with every touch.
I could feel her tryina hold it together, her breath shaky and her chest risin’ quick like she ain’t know how to steady herself.
I slid my hands under her thighs and pulled her closer to my mouth, lettin’ her feel how serious I was about takin’ care of her.
I took my time, givin’ her everything she needed without rushin’.
My jaw moved as I sucked on her clit softly, tryna nurse the pain out of her body.
I felt her fingers slide through my hair and grip my head when she let out a small cry, and it made me lick her deeper.
I kissed her between every stroke, tastin’ her slow and soft, like my mouth was the only thing keepin’ her together.
She squeezed my head tighter, her fingers diggin’ deeper as her breath started comin’ in short gasps.
Her thighs shook against my shoulders and her stomach kept tightenin’ like she ain’t know whether to cry or let go.
I sucked her again, tender and full, lettin’ my mouth wrap around her clit while my tongue moved beneath it, kissin’ her like she was somethin’ delicate that needed healin’.
Her body trembled and I knew she was close to cumin’.
I licked deeper, and slower, givin’ her one long pull that made her whole body arch into me.
When she came, she gripped my head and cried my name like a baby.
I kept kissin’ her through it, lettin’ her feel me care for her until every shiver in her body faded.
When she came down, I slid her panties off with my teeth, lettin’ ‘em fall around her ankles. I gripped the thin lace between my teeth and dragged ‘em down slow, keepin’ my eyes on her the entire time. My hands stayed on her hips while my mouth did the work, my breath hittin’ her skin and makin’ her legs shake even though she tried to keep still.
I let the fabric slip past her thighs and down her calves until they dropped at her feet, and that shit made my dick hard.
I kissed her feet, lettin’ my mouth move soft over the top of each one before I lifted her left foot and brushed my lips along her arch.
Then I took her toes in my mouth and sucked them until she started moanin’ through her tears.
The sound hit me low, and made me want her even closer.
It made me want to hold her until she stopped shakin’.
Then I climbed up her body, my skin brushing’ hers, our chests touchin’. My hands slid up her sides as I rose over her, my lips tracin’ a line up her stomach before I reached her face. Her breath mixed with mine, and she looked up at me like she could feel every part of me settlin’ against her.
She pulled her shirt off, her eyes locked on mine, and I pushed my briefs down. Our bodies lined up like they was made for each other. I slid my dick inside her slow, watchin’ her eyes flutter as she wrapped her legs around me.
I moved in her slow, kissin’ her mouth, her neck and her shoulder. “We gon’ figure this shit out,” I whispered in her ear. “I’mma still put my seed in you, one way or another.”
She looked up at me, her eyes wet and full of love. “You really think so?”
“I know so,” I said, pushin’ in deeper.
The way I did it made her gasp, but that next push was different.
I gripped her hips and gave her one strong, deep thrust, a full stroke that made my pelvis meet hers with a soft pop of pressure.
Her body jolted underneath me like the pleasure hit her all at once.
Her head flew back into the pillow, her eyes shut tight, and her mouth opened like she couldn’t take air in fast enough.
Her legs trembled around my waist, and she let out a sound that was half a cry and half a moan, the type of shit that comes when it hurt but feel good.
I felt her pussy clench around my dick so hard it damn near pulled me deeper on its own. I stayed right there for a second, my dick buried as far as it could go, lettin’ her take all of it while her chest lifted against mine and her fingers curled into my shoulders.
“Yeah… you feel that, baby? This dick gon’ give you that baby we want.”
Her answer wasn’t even words at first. It was her body tightenin’ around me again, her hips risin’ into mind like she wanted that pressure back, or like she needed me to hit that exact spot again.
Her mouth stayed open, her breath shaky, her eyes still shut while she tried to catch herself, and I held her close while I kept givin’ her the depth she reacted to.
She held on to me tighter, her hand grippin’ my waist, the other grabbing at my ass, squeezin’ hard as fuck.
When I came, it was deep inside her and warm, our bodies still pressed together. I stayed there, breathing against her neck, feeling her heart beat under mine.
She was still cryin’, her tears runnin’ across her temples and into her hair, her body shakin’ under me like she couldn’t hold herself together.
She wrapped her arms around me tight, pullin’ me closer like she needed every inch of me to stay inside her.
Her nails slid down my back and she whispered, “Kay’Lo, it feel so good…
I love you… I love you so much.” Her voice cracked every time she said it.
I pulled back just enough to look at her, and her eyes were wet and full and shinin’ with all the love she couldn’t hide. I slid my hand under her thigh and lifted it higher while I pushed deeper, lettin’ her feel every part of me. She gasped again, her mouth openin’ wide.
“Baby… you feel me,” I whispered, my voice shaky, almost pleadin’ as I stroked her again. “You feel what I’m givin’ you.”
She nodded fast, her eyes closed with tears slippin’ out the corners as she held on to me. “Yes… I feel it… I feel you, baby… I swear I do,” she whispered, her voice tremblin’.
Her pussy tightened around me again and the feelin’ hit me so hard my hips jerked. I pushed deeper and held it, grindin’ slow into her while my forehead dropped to hers. I could feel myself losin’ control, and feel that second nut pullin’ up hard from the base of my spine.
“I want you to take all your dick, mama,” I whispered, my mouth right against her ear. “Every bit of it. I want you carryin’ my baby.”
She whimpered, her voice breakin’. “Kay’Lo… don’t say that unless you mean it.”
“I mean every word,” I breathed, thrustin’ deeper, lettin’ her feel how serious I was. “I been meanin’ it. I want you swollen with me. I want you walkin’ around with a big belly knowin’ I put somethin’ in you that nobody else could ever give you.”
Her whole body reacted. Her stomach tightened, her back arched and her eyes closed tight while her mouth opened wider like she couldn’t keep a sound inside her. She grabbed my shoulders and rocked into me, her voice tremblin’. “It feel too good… you makin’ me shake.”
“I’m supposed to make you shake,” I whispered, kissin’ her neck, her cheek and the side of her mouth. “I’m supposed to get so deep in this pussy that you feel me hours later…Days later. I want you wakin’ up thinkin’ about what I put in you. I want you carryin’ me.”
Her breath turned into a helpless cry, like her heart was collapsin’. “Kay’Lo… I can’t take it when you talk like this.”
“Yes, you can,” I whispered, holdin’ her face so she had to look at me. “You takin’ it right now. You takin’ all of me, and I’m gon’ keep givin’ it. I’m gon’ keep fillin’ your body ‘til your womb open for me and pull my baby in.”
She trembled so hard I had to hold her hips still.
“Say you want it,” I murmured, thrustin’ heavy, and deep enough to make her cry harder. “Say you want my baby, Toni. Say you want what I’m givin’ you.”
“I do!” she cried, grabbin’ my face with both hands. “I want it… I want everything you fuckin’ givin’ me… I swear to God.”
Hearin’ her say that made my chest break open. My next thrust landed deeper, harder and full of desperation and love at the same time.
“You gon’ have my baby,” I whispered, my voice shakin’. “I’m plantin’ somethin’ in you tonight. You gon’ feel me for real.”
Her moan hit my mouth and she melted into me completely, her legs fallin’ open, and her body surrenderin’ under me like she was givin’ me her whole soul.
And I kept going, kept talkin’ to her and kept lovin’ her through it, ‘cause both of us was too far gone to come back.
I grabbed her face in my hand and kissed her while I came again. My moan broke into a growl. My whole body tightened, and I held her to me, my breath shakin’ while I spilled into her even deeper.
“Baby… I love you,” I groaned, my voice raw, my lips right against her ear. “I’m givin’ you everything. You hear me… everything.”
She cried harder, her arms wrappin’ around my neck, holdin’ me like she was scared to let go.
“I love you too,” she whispered, runnin’ her fingers down the side of my face.
Her voice cracked when she said it, her whole body still shakin’ underneath me while my dick was still deep inside her like it was the only thing anchoring her to the bed.
When she looked up at me, her eyes was red and swollen from all the cryin’ she had done. They was glossy and puffy like she ain’t have the strength to hide anything else from me. Tears was still slippin’ down the sides of her face.
Seein’ her like this fucked me up for real. She looked so vulnerable, so open, and raw, like she had finally let everything fall off of her at once.
“I love you for you,” she whispered again, her bottom lip tremblin’. “Not for what you got… not for what you do… I love you ‘cause of how you see me… how you hold me… how you protect me.”
I slid both hands up her back and held her tight, pressin’ her closer to me.
“Baby… look at me,” I whispered, liftin’ her chin with my thumb so her eyes stayed on mine. “I’mma always protect you. Always. You don’t ever have to wonder if I’m standin’ behind you or beside you. I’m right here. Right now. And I ain’t movin’.”
Her tears fell heavier and she tried to blink them away, but they slid down her cheeks anyway.
“You ain’t gotta be guarded with me,” I told her. “I don’t want the strong version of you that the world forced you to be. I want you. I want all the soft parts you scared to show people. I want the parts that shake. The parts that cry. The parts you hide.”
Her breath skipped, and she gripped the sides of my face, her thumbs brushin’ my cheek.
“I see you,” I whispered, kissin’ the corner of her wet eyes. “All of you. And I love every single piece. You hear me. Every piece.”
Her face crumpled the moment I said it. Her whole body trembled around me, her legs tightenin’ around my waist.
“I’m never lettin’ nobody else hurt you,” I whispered, kissin’ her jaw, her cheek and her temple. “I’m never lettin’ you feel alone. I’m never lettin’ you hold all this weight by yourself again. You got a man now. You got me.”
Her cry hit my neck. It was broken and full of years she never let herself feel.
“I need you,” she whispered, tremblin’. “I need you so bad.”
“I’m yours, baby,” I breathed, holdin’ her tighter, keepin’ my dick deep inside her. “I’m your safe space. I’m your peace. I’m your man.”
Her tears ran down her face, heavier now.
“It’s okay,” I murmured, kissin’ her cheek, kissing her tears. “Let it out. You safe with me.”
She cried harder, her face buried in my neck now, and her fingers grippin’ the back of my head like she ain’t want me to move, even though I wasn’t goin’ nowhere.
“You hear me,” I whispered, slidin’ my hand under her thigh and holding her open to stroke her again. “I’m your safe space. I ain’t ever lettin’ you go through shit alone again.”
“People hurt me,” she whispered. “They ain’t care. They ain’t protect me. They ain’t love me right… and it messed me up… it messed me up so bad.”
I grabbed her face with both hands, forcin’ her to look at me while I kept hittin’ that pussy right.
“You ain’t messed up, baby,” I whispered, my forehead touchin’ hers. “You survived shit that woulda broke anybody else. You stronger than all them lies they made you believe.”
I kissed her tears, kissed the softness under her eye, and kissed the side of her mouth.
“You with me now,” I whispered. “You with a nigga who will kill behind you. You with a nigga that don’t play about you, and who gon’ love you the way you always deserved.”
Her hands slid to my cheeks. Her thumbs wiped my face even though I wasn’t the one crying.
“I don’t wanna lose you,” she whispered, her voice terrified, but honest.
“You not,” I said. “I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I don’t give a fuck what come our way. It’s me and you. You hear me.”
Her lips parted, and she clung to me like I was savin’ her life.
“It’s me and you, Toni,” I whispered again. “Forever if you’ll have me.”
Her whole body gave out then, meltin’ underneath me, her heart finally lettin’ itself be held. I stayed inside her, holdin’ her like the world couldn’t touch her.
‘Cause right now…it couldn’t.
We laid there like this the whole night with my dick in her, tangled up in each other, the room smellin’ like weed, sex, and skin. It was the type of peace I never thought I would find right here in my arms, and her name was Toni Roc.