Chapter 3 #4
We had tables set up playin’ cards and then dominoes smackin’ loud as hell.
Niggas was yellin’, and the music kept switchin’ from old school to some island shit, then back to somethin’ that had everybody singin’ along.
I don’t even know how many drinks I had, but at some point, I was feelin’ good.
I was loud and talkin’ my shit like I always do.
And I was whoopin’ they ass too…
I slapped my cards down on the table so hard it made the cups shake. “I guess I just had to beat on y’all ass one mo’ good time before I leave.”
Kay’Lo leaned back in his chair, laughin’. “We can tell you been waitin’ all day to say that.”
Renza leaned back in his chair, watchin’ me like he was already irritated by how loud I was bein’, but that dry ass smirk on his face told me he was waitin’ on his turn.
“Girl, you done only won them two lil’ hands and you hollerin’ like you done ran the whole table.”
I popped up out my seat quick. “Two? Nigga, count again.”
“Sit yo’ ass down,” he shot back, finally leanin’ forward. “You cheatin’ anyway. Ain’t nobody watch you shuffle.”
That made ’Lo shake his head. “I said the same shit. I ain’t trust that last lil’ shuffle she did.”
“Damn…y’all boys really mad ’cause I’m whoopin’ y’all ass real bad out here,” I said, pointin’ at both of them.
We went back and forth like this all damn day, talkin’ shit, laughin’, drinkin’, and enjoyin’ each other just ’cause it was about to be my last night out here for a minute.
Toni was the one who messed it up, though. Not in a bad way, but just… Toni bein’ Toni.
She had been drinkin’ all day, laughin’, dancin’, and then outta nowhere, she came up to me with tears in her eyes like a switch flipped.
“I’m really gon’ miss you, bitch,” she said, grabbin’ me.
I looked at her, then I started laughin’. “Bitch, you actin’ like you, ’Lo and ’Lo’Lo ain’t flyin’ out this weekend.”
She wiped her face quickly. “You know what I mean.”
“I do,” I said, pullin’ her to me and holdin’ her tight. “I’m not goin’ nowhere forever. I just gotta go home for a minute.”
She nodded against me, still snifflin’, and Kay’Lo walked up behind her like he already knew she was about to start cryin’.
“Aye,” he said, lookin’ at me while he reached down and grabbed the black leather Louis Vuitton bag sittin’ by his chair.
Before I could even ask what he was doin’, he stepped over and pressed the whole bag into my hands.
I blinked, lookin’ down at it, then back up at him. “What is this?”
“Take it,” he said, like it wasn’t even a conversation.
I frowned a lil’, openin’ it just enough to see what was inside, and soon as I did, my eyes went wide. “‘Lo, what the hell…?”
“It’s yours,” he replied. “You goin’ back home, and I don’t want you goin’ back without bein’ takin’ care of.”
I looked at him like he lost his mind. “You know you ain’t have to give me all this damn money.”
“I know,” he replied, smirkin’. “But I wanted to.”
I shook my head, but I still leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I appreciate you, cousin. For real.”
“I know you do,” he said, grinnin’.
I zipped the bag, then looked back at him. “I’m still gon’ get my ass on the city bus and fill out some job applications.”
That had everybody around us laughin’.
“You better not,” Toni said.
“I am,” I said, smilin’. “I’m not about to sit around spendin’ y’all money like I ain’t got no home trainin’.”
The sun started droppin’ after that, and the moment just went into somethin’ lighter. The music slowed down, and everybody started to spread out more, and the drinks started hittin’ harder than they was earlier.
By the time night really settled in, I was fat, full, drunk, and sittin’ here feelin’ like tonight ain’t owe me nothin’ at all.
Pressure had got too drunk, and Pluto had to take his ass in the house, talkin’ ’bout he was doin’ too much.
Kay’Lo and Toni disappeared not long after that, and I already knew they was knocked out in his old room ’cause that’s what they did if neither of them felt like drivin’ home.
So, I ended up out back by myself for a minute, sittin’ at the table, hummin’ along to some old school R&B playin’ low through the speakers, just lettin’ everything from the day sit with me.
That’s when I heard the door open.
“Where the fuck everybody go?” Renza’s voice came from behind me.
I smiled to myself before I even turned around. “They drunk.”
He walked over, lookin’ around like he expected somebody to pop back out. “I knew Pressure drunk ass was gon’ tap out.”
I laughed under my breath while he pulled a chair out and sat across from me, already reachin’ for what he needed to roll up.
For a second, neither one of us said nothin’. He lit it up, took a pull, then passed it to me without lookin’ up.
“Yo’ crazy ass finally leavin’ tomorrow,” he said after a minute.
I took the blunt. “Nigga, let me find out you sad about it.”
He stared at me with a serious look on face. “This actually the happiest night of my life.”
I shook my head, laughin’. “You full of shit.”
I leaned back in my chair, takin’ a slow pull before I passed it back. “You gon’ miss me kickin’ yo’ ass in spades?“
He glanced at me this time, just for a second. “Girl… you barely be winnin’ now.”
I tilted my head, lookin’ at him. “That ain’t what I asked you.”
He looked away first, bringin’ the blunt to his lips. “I’ll be a’ight.”
I leaned back in my chair, lookin’ out into the yard, shakin’ my head. “This shit feel so crazy. After spendin’ over a year out here, I’m really finna get on a plane and leave.”
Renza looked at me, then nodded slow like the shit was hittin’ him too. “Yeah… we finally get some peace.”
I cut my eyes at him. “You so lame.”
“I’m dead serious,” he said, but that lil’ smirk was sittin’ there. “House gon’ be quiet as hell.”
I shook my head, smilin’ a lil’ even though I tried not to. “Uh huh.”
As the hours went on, we ain’t even realize how long we had been sittin’ out there. The music switched up a few times, goin’ from some slow shit to somethin’ with a lil’ bounce, then back down again, but it all still fit the same night.
The blunt kept goin’ back and forth between us, and somewhere in the middle of all that, we got to talkin’.
We slid from one topic to the next, cuttin’ each other off, finishin’ each other’s sentences, then talkin’ over each other again like it ain’t even matter who was sayin’ what first.
At one point, I started sayin’ somethin’, and before I could even get it out, Renza already knew where I was goin’ with it and said the rest of it for me.
I looked at him like, “Nigga…”
He just looked back at me like it wasn’t nothin’, and that made me laugh harder than it probably should’ve.
We told dumb ass jokes that probably wouldn’t even be that funny to other muthafuckas, but we was sittin’ here cryin’ laughin’ like we was the only two people who got it.
I threw my head back at one point, laughin’ so hard my stomach started hurtin’, and he leaned back in his chair, shakin’ his head at me like I was doin’ too much, but he was laughin’ just as hard.
It got so bad that I couldn’t even get my words out right. I was tryna talk, but nothin’ was comin’ out but broken sounds, and I put up my hand, tryna stop this nigga from talkin’.
“Please… Renza… please shut the fuck up…” I managed, my breath all over the place. “I can’t-I can’t fuckin’ breathe…”
And he still kept laughin’, and that made it worse.
Now I was bendin’ forward, grabbin’ my stomach, shakin’ my head, feelin’ like I was really about to pass out over some dumb shit. Every time I tried to calm down, we would look at each other and lose it all over again.
We finally started comin’ down, both of us sittin’ here breathin’ hard, and quiet for a second.
Then he let out this lil’ laugh he tried to hold in…
…and I just looked at him like, nigga, don’t—but it was too late.
I folded right back over, gaspin’, laughin’ all over again, and now he was right back with me, both of us soundin’ crazy like we ain’t have no fuckin’ sense.
After a while, I ain’t even peep when it happened, but we wasn’t sittin’ all the way across from each other no more. It’s like our chairs just ended up closer without either of us makin’ it a thing.
I ain’t see him move, and I know I ain’t consciously move either, but somehow the space between us got smaller.
My knee brushed his, light at first, then again. I looked at him, and he looked at me.
Then we both moved back at the same time, real slight, like neither of us was finna play in this space.
I smacked my lips and grabbed my cup. “Yeah… watch it.”
Renza let out a low laugh, shakin’ his head. “You the one slidin’.”
“Nahhh. That’s yo’ ass,” I muttered, side-eyein’ him.
Even after we moved, that lil’ moment ain’t go nowhere.
I sat back with my cup in my hand, watchin’ the way the light hit his face when he leaned down to roll again. He was quiet, and focused, like he always was when he was just doin’ him.
Every now and then, I caught him lookin’ at me. It wasn’t long enough to call the shit out, but it was long enough for me to notice. And instead of sayin’ somethin’, I just looked away like I ain’t catch it, lettin’ it be what it was.
The house was quiet behind us ’cause everybody was knocked out. It felt different out here, like the night slowed down just for me.
Renza moved in his seat, restin’ his arms on his knees for a second before leanin’ back again, glancin’ over at me like he was about to say somethin’, then didn’t.
That almost-sayin’ somethin’ shit sat between us for a second, and that’s what made me look at him a lil’ longer than I meant to.
After a while, he looked at me again. “You gon’ be happy back home?”
I held his gaze for a second, feelin’ his energy, then I smirked a lil’. “You sure you happy with yo’ girl?”
Renza went still…
His eyes stayed on mine, and whatever passed through ’em… it ain’t match his mouth.
“Don’t do that,” he said low.
I ain’t move. I just kept lookin’ at him. I let the moment sit for a second, then gave a small nod, finally lookin’ away.
“Yeah,” I said, playin’ it off. “I know. I was just askin’.”
But when I looked back at him, he was already lookin’ at me again. Finally, he broke eye contact first.
“I’m takin’ my ass to bed,” he said, standin’ up.
He stepped closer to me like he was about to do somethin’, maybe say somethin’, but he paused, just for a second, then he shook it off and turned toward the house.
I watched him walk off without sayin’ nothin’, and when the door closed behind him, it got quiet again.
I leaned back in my chair, lookin’ out over the yard, feelin’ that pull in my chest that I ain’t even have a name for.
Trill-Land had really become home to me in a way I ain’t expect, and now I was leavin’ it.