Chapter 4
Trill-Land, Jungle Estate
I’on even know why Sha’Nelle asked me about Reni, but for some reason, that shit was stickin’ to a nigga like glue.
I had brushed it off like it wasn’t nothin’, said what I needed to say, and kept it movin’ like I always do, but the second I stepped away from her and went in my room, that question came right back and sat on my chest like a weight.
I ain’t even turn no lights on, but just walked in, shut the door behind me, and took my clothes off. I sat on the edge of the bed for a minute, rubbin’ my hands together, tryna shake the feelin’ off me.
Don’t get it twisted, it wasn’t like a nigga was confused about his life. I knew who I had, and I knew who I wanted. I knew who had been holdin’ me down and who was loyal before muthafuckas started comin’ around for what I had instead of who I am.
Reni had been solid, and a nigga like me ain’t just throw that word around like it ain’t mean shit. She knew how to deal with me when I was on edge, just from runnin’ wild, killin’ for those I loved. She knew how to talk to me without backin’ down, and how to press me when I needed it.
So, nah… I wasn’t sittin’ here questionin’ my girl.
But that ain’t change the fact that Sha’Nelle asked me that shit and looked at me the way she did when she said it.
I leaned back on my hands, lookin’ up at the ceilin’, replayin’ the whole night without even meanin’ to. The laughin’, the talkin’, the way we kept cuttin’ each other off like we already knew where the other one was goin’ with it… it was wild.
Every time I kicked it with Sha’Nelle, whether we was arguin’, gettin’ on each other’s damn nerves or jokin’, she never made me feel like I had to be somebody else just to be around her. That wasn’t no regular shit to me, so it was hard for me to not feel it.
I had been around women my whole life, and most of ’em came the same way.
They flirted, laughed a lil’ extra at shit that wasn’t even that funny, and found lil’ ways to be close to me like I wasn’t gon’ peep what they was doin’.
I always let that shit roll right off me ’cause it never moved me like that, and it never really did.
But ’Nelle…
It was the way she sat there and actually listened when I talked, even when she joked it off.
It was the way she laughed at the dumb shit I said like she couldn’t help it.
It was the way she looked at a nigga sometimes and then looked away like she caught herself doin’ too much, and I always caught that shit even when she thought I didn’t.
I let out a slow breath and sat up, draggin’ my hands down my face.
That’s exactly why I brought my ass in here…
Shid… it was outta sight, outta mind. That’s how I had been movin’ for a while, and that’s how I needed to keep it.
I reached over and grabbed my phone, starin’ at it for a second before I unlocked it and scrolled down to Reni’s name. It was late. I already knew that, but I ain’t care. I needed to hear her voice and to ground myself in somethin’ that made sense.
The phone rang a few times before she picked up, and as soon as she did, her voice came through low and heavy with sleep.
“…Hello?”
I smiled without even thinkin’ about it. “What you doin’, baby?”
“…I’m sleep,” she mumbled.
I leaned back against the headboard with one hand behind my head. “I can hear that.”
“You woke me up,” she said, and I could hear the slight irritation in it even through the sleep.
“I know. My fault,” I said, softer now. “I just wanted to hear you, baby. I miss you.”
There was a pause on her end, and I could hear her movin’ around in the bed. “You ain’t have time to hear me earlier?”
I smirked a lil’ and shook my head. “Baby, my phone was sittin’ outside on the table all day. I ain’t even been on that shit like that.”
“Mhm,” she hummed, and I already knew she wasn’t fully buyin’ it.
“I’m serious,” I went on, sittin’ up a lil’. “I been out here with the fam, drinkin’, chillin’. I wasn’t duckin’ you or none of that.”
She ain’t say nothin’ right away, and that silence told me more than any words she could’ve said. I rubbed the back of my neck, lookin’ down at my lap for a second.
“I wish I was layin’ up with you right now,” I added, lettin’ that sit between us.
“You could be,” she replied, still dry, but still low. “But you always too busy not answerin’ your phone when I call.”
I let out a light breath through my nose, smilin’ a lil’ even though I knew she wasn’t tryna be funny. “You act like I do that shit on purpose. I don’t. I be movin’ around, baby.”
“You don’t?” she asked, and now I could hear her wakin’ up a lil’ more.
“Nah,” I said, real simple. “I don’t.”
There was another pause, and I sat here listenin’ to her breathe for a second before I spoke again.
“I been thinkin’, though,” I said, shiftin’ so I was sittin’ more upright. “You need to start stayin’ with me sometimes. Like, for real.”
She ain’t respond, so I kept goin’.
“That way you can see how I be movin’ and see that I don’t be glued to my phone like that. You can be here instead of tryna guess what I’m doin’ all day.”
“…Renza…”
“I’m serious,” I cut in, not lettin’ her brush it off. “I want you around more. I want you in my space. I ain’t tryna keep you on the outside of my world like you be sayin’ I do.”
She went quiet again, and this time it felt heavier.
“I love you,” I added, meanin’ that shit.
I sat here for a second, my jaw tightenin’ just a lil’ while I waited on her to say somethin’ back, but all I got was that same quiet. I could feel that coldness through the phone, and it rubbed me the wrong way, even though I knew where it was comin’ from.
In my head, I was doin’ what I was supposed to do.
I made sure Reni was good. She ain’t have to worry about nothin’.
She lived how she wanted to live without stressin’ about bills or none of that shit, and I still made time for her when I could.
I wasn’t perfect, but I wasn’t no nigga out here playin’ games with her either.
“I ain’t been ignorin’ you on purpose,” I said again, calmer this time. “I wouldn’t do that to you, baby.”
“…Okay,” she finally said, but it ain’t have no weight to it.
I exhaled slow, about to say somethin’ else when somethin’ in the doorway caught my eye.
At first, I thought I was trippin’…
I squinted a lil’, sittin’ up straighter while I tried to make it out in the dark, and then my whole body went still.
“Baby, give me a second,” I said into the phone, my voice lower now.
“Yeah,” she murmured.
I ended the call right after that, not even givin’ it another second, ’cause my full attention was locked on what I was lookin’ at.
Sha’Nelle was standin’ in my doorway…
And she ain’t have shit on.
For a second, I just sat here, tryna make sense of it, like my mind needed a second to catch up to what my eyes was already seein’. The light from the hallway hit her just enough to outline her, and that alone had my chest feelin’ tight in a way I ain’t like.
I swallowed, my hand droppin’ from the back of my head to the bed beside me while I watched her.
She ain’t say nothin’. She just stood there, lookin’ at me like she already knew what she was doin’ to me. Then she stepped inside, and that’s when it really hit.
The way her body moved when she walked wasn’t somethin’ a nigga could ignore even if he tried.
Her hips rolled with every step, the motion startin’ low and carryin’ through her whole body.
Her waist dipped first, then them wide ass hips followed behind it, full and thick, shiftin’ side to side in a sexy ass rhythm.
That sway had some serious heat to it. It was soft but heavy, pullin’ my eyes down and holdin’ ’em there.
I caught myself watchin’ how they moved, locked in on that slow roll, knowin’ this wasn’t no act… this was just her.
Her thighs kept kissin’ with every step she took. They was thick as hell and movin’ with her in a way that had me watchin’ without even meanin’ to. And that lil’ soft stomach… yeah, that shit sat just right.
My jaw clenched while I watched her get closer.
Her chest rose slow while she walked, and them big ass titties moved with every step, heavy and full, sittin’ high and bold. They bounced just enough to catch my attention. Her shit sat on her crazy like real jugs, and every step she took kept remindin’ a nigga they was there.
Her skin looked smooth as hell, glowin’ like she had just stepped outta somethin’ warm, and her hair fell down her back in long waves that moved every time she did.
I ain’t even realize I stopped breathin’ until I had to pull in a slow one through my nose.
This was exactly what the fuck I was tryna stay away from. And now she was in my damn room.
I changed positions on the bed, my hands pressin’ into the mattress on either side of me while I watched Sha’Nelle come closer. It was like my mind was runnin’ but my body wasn’t followin’ none of them thoughts.
I sat for a second like my body forgot how to move.
She stopped right in front of me, close enough now that I could see every detail I ain’t have no business payin’ attention to, and my hands curled into the sheets without me even thinkin’ about it.
My head tilted up so I could look at her face, but even that ain’t help nothin’. If anything, it made shit worse, ’cause now I was seein’ her and feelin’ everything that came with it.
Before I could open my mouth, and say anything that made sense, she moved. She stepped forward slowly and then climbed on the bed like she already knew I wasn’t finna stop her. Her body lowered until she straddled me, settlin’ right on my dick like my shit had her name on it.
“Say girl… what the fuck is you doin’?” I whispered, tryna keep my voice low, but it came out rough anyway while Sha’Nelle sat on me with them thick thighs locked around me, and all that ass pressin’ down like she ain’t have no type of sense.