Chapter 95 Serena
SERENA
The last thing I feel like doing the next day is going to train with Jace. I was content to stay in bed, next to Zadyn, and make all kinds of mischief, but he, of all people, insisted. Said it was important to “air my grievances” with Jace.
I’m gonna air something, alright.
But there’s a pit the size of Rhode Island in my stomach as we make our way to the training ring. Half of me hates him for what he did. The other half hates that I don’t really hate him. Not even a little. Maybe not at all.
So here I am, the Julia Stiles to his Heath Ledger. I won’t hold my breath for him to buy me a fucking apology Fender.
Zadyn and I pause in the threshold. Jace is already there, warming up, throwing punches into the padded post, the cuts in his muscled arms made even more defined with each artful thrust of his fist. He turns when he hears us.
“I’ll see you later.” I give Zadyn a slight smile, squeezing his hand. His eyes skirt from me to Jace before he disappears down the hall.
“So what? Are you two together now?” He approaches, a cocky look on his face.
“Maybe.”
“Did he profess his undying love, and did it just suddenly occur to you that you felt the same?” he asks, his voice bleeding sarcasm.
“None of your business.”
He coughs a snide, mocking laugh. “Okay.”
Then he pauses, looking me up and down before glancing toward the hall. His nostrils flare, and he takes a menacing step toward me so fast I jump in response. His face pales a few shades, his body going rigid.
“What?”
He leans in closer, and I freeze. He’s…smelling me. Then he grabs my hair and wrenches my head to the side, taking in the bite marks Zadyn left on my neck. I wince, shoving against him until he lets me go.
“You fucked him, didn’t you?”
Instead of answering, I sink onto the ground to start stretching.
“Serena.”
I roll my eyes at the sternness of his tone. As if I owe him any sort of explanation.
“Wasn’t this what you wanted? For me to explore my relationship with Zadyn?”
Jace drops to a crouch before me, his voice low. “What I wanted, witch, was for you to get it out of your system.”
“Why, so I could run back to you?” I glower at him. “Maybe it’s you I need to get out of my system. Not him.”
A nasty sneer covers his mouth. “Sounds like you’re just looking for an excuse to fuck me.”
“I don’t plan to ever touch you again after what you did.”
“Readjust your plans because we’re about to get up close and personal.” He pushes to stand and gestures to the empty training ring.
“You know exactly what I mean.”
“I also know you don’t mean what you say.”
“Stop acting like you know me better than I know myself.”
“Stop acting like you’re a saint. Like you’ve never done anything questionable to protect the people you care about.” His words are pointed. And I know exactly what he’s referring to.
“You’re never going to let it go, are you?” I shake my head.
“Let what go?”
“Kylian.”
He doesn’t say anything. He just stares down at me with the same bitterness that reminds me of the ruthless version of him I first met in Derek’s throne room.
“It bothers you to no end.” He scoffs, turning toward the center of the ring. I shove to my feet, stalking after him. “It’s the root of everything that’s spoiled between us. You stood there and told me to fuck Zadyn, but Kylian—”
He whirls to face me. “The thought of anyone else touching you bothers me. It makes me want to do terrible, horrific things even your worst nightmares couldn’t contrive.
It makes me want to burn this whole fucking world to the ground.
But you and him? Together? No, witch, that doesn’t bother me.
It fucking eats me alive,” he says. “It burns me that after everything, after all he and his family have taken from me—“
“So this is about you. You and your vendetta against Vod.”
“No, it’s about the fact that he, of all people, got to have you when—”
“When what? When you never will?” I take a step closer, knowing full well the cruelty behind my words. His golden eyes flash, his chest heaving.
I know what the Trioris cost him—his parents, Derek. But I’m more than a piece of collateral in this mess. I’m a person, not a possession to be lost or gained or taken. By anyone.
“I hope that pride of yours keeps you warm at night.” I knock his shoulder, brushing past him.
“That’s right,” he spits. “Push me away. It’s what you do best.”
“You are the one pushing me away, Jace.” I turn back to him.
“What happened to you? When did you go from being on my side to judging my choices to survive? When are you going to stop damning me for doing what I had to do? You were born a male and raised a fighter. You’ve never been powerless.
Not really. So you don’t know what it’s like to have all of your power just erased in the blink of an eye.
And the only one you have left is your power as a woman.
Your body. And so you have to make the choice between your dignity and surviving.
You don’t know what it’s like to bargain with your own flesh.
To know that really, despite the blood in my veins, despite the absurd power I’ve found myself with, I am easily reduced to just a girl.
Just a helpless, weak little girl. You have no fucking clue. ”
When he doesn’t say anything, I know I’ve won. Too bad it doesn’t feel like a victory worth celebrating.
It isn’t hard to spar with him for the next two hours. Every punch I throw is packed with conviction. Every blast of my power has meaning, has weight.
Once again, Jace has given me a brick wall to shove against. He has pushed me, made me one second faster, one degree stronger.
I would be grateful if I could feel anything but pain when I look at him.