Chapter 96 Zadyn
ZADYN
“Well, this isn’t depressing at all,” Kai mumbles, drumming his fingers on the high-backed leather chair.
It’s been a quiet night. After dinner, all of us gathered in Sorscha’s rooms—all except Jace, who’s either been warned by Serena to stay the hell away from her, or he’s decided to outcast himself.
I was just as responsible for getting myself killed as he was, but Serena is clinging to her anger like it’s the last thing left on this earth. I wonder if that’s because without it, there would be nothing standing in their way.
I know she’s mine. But I also know that part of her is his. I either have to accept that, as Gnorr said, or walk away. And gods know I’m fully incapable of the latter.
The mood is somber, not even Kai wisecracking like his usual self. Two weeks is up tomorrow, and despite the coronation in the morning, no one seems remotely inclined to celebrate.
“So that’s it?” Kai prods. “We’re just giving up?”
The room is silent—heads low, spirits lower.
“We’re not giving up, Kai,” Serena says. “I’m just doing what I have to do.”
She tries to smile, but I catch the crack in it. The chink in the armor. And I realize that she is just as scared as the rest of us.
Kai’s brow ticks up. “Forgive me for saying so, but that doesn’t sound extremely confident.”
“I’m not sure what else we can do at this point,” Serena answers, her voice filled with quiet regret.
“Anything is better than sitting here sulking.” He pushes away from the chair, pacing over to the window. Rain slides down the glass in slow, heavy clumps.
“Zadyn has scoured that library. If there were something to find, he would have found it by now. Right?” She turns to me.
Sighing, I nod. “There was nothing there. I even checked with Gnorr. The deal is binding, short of death.”
“So we kill him,” Kai concludes. “Before he takes you.”
“That would require catching him first.”
Serena’s head snaps around like a whip. Jace is leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his leathers.
“I know you don’t want to see me right now, but I might have an idea.”
“Pass. Your ideas suck.” Serena turns back toward the group, folding her arms over her chest.
“Luckily, I care little for your opinion.”
She snorts. “If that ain’t the truth.”
He gives her a dark look and moves to stand beside us on the settee. “We know he’s coming. One way or another. So we set a trap.”
“He’s not a fucking mouse, Jace,” Serena snaps. “He’s a king. And a powerful one.”
“You think I don’t know that?” he retorts. “And what does he want? You. So we dangle the bait and watch him walk right into it.”
It’s my turn to interrupt. “We’re not luring him out with Serena as bait.”
“I can shield her. But if you’ve got a better suggestion, I’m all ears.”
“He’ll penetrate your shield like that.” Kai snaps his fingers. “You don’t know the extent of what he can do.”
“Not if he’s incapacitated. We outnumber him. All we have to do is get him alone.”
“You think he’s showing up here solo? He’s going to have an army with him, Jace. Use your big-boy military brain,” Serena goads.
He takes a deep breath, attempting to maintain his composure. “I’m trying. To help you.”
“I don’t want your help. In fact, I don’t even want to see your face.”
“Serena,” Mar warns.
But she continues, “I don’t want your plans, I don’t want your help, I don’t want you—period. So just get out.”
He recoils as if she’d slapped him. He’s even got the flushed cheeks to go with it. He opens his mouth and then closes it, grappling for words, his eyes a cocktail of misery and pain. Then without so much as a goodbye, he stalks from the room.
Kai blows out a long breath. “Harsh much?”
“It’s better this way. Trust me.” Serena leans forward, pushing her hands through her hair. “I’m not going to let Kylian get away with this. He is not coming for our home. And I fully intend to be the one to walk away from this fight. But just in case—”
She gets to her feet. Mar holds up a hand to stop her. “No. We are not going there.”
“Absolutely not,” Sorscha adds, shifting to the edge of her seat.
“Look, if I don’t say this now, I might regret it.”
Serena’s lips curve into a sad smile.
“I used to think that living my life alone was the best way to protect myself. I thought the more you love, the more there is to lose. And I couldn’t fathom losing anyone else that mattered to me.
I was broken when I came here. Maybe I still am.
But I also found strength I didn’t know I had.
Strength in all of you. Because now there is a reason to fight.
I never realized how lonely my life had been, how empty it was, until I met you.
Until you showed me that love is always worth the risk—worth the pain.
So even if this all goes up in flames, you need to know that I don’t regret a single moment of the time I’ve had with you.
And I promise I will fight like hell for more of it. ”
We all just stare. And this girl doesn’t think she could be queen?
“Cousin.” Sorscha lifts a trembling hand to her mouth, springing out of her seat and throwing her arms around Serena’s neck.
“Sorscha.” Serena catches her and holds tight. “I need you to trust yourself and know how much you’re worth. You’re so strong, and brave, and you are going to make an incredible queen—”
“Hush! This is not goodbye. I refuse to allow it.” She sniffles, tears leaking down her cheeks.
Serena smiles, planting a kiss on her forehead, which only makes Sorscha sob harder. “Thank you. For being my friend. For being the sister I always wished for.”
“We are family,” Sorscha manages to get out. “I would do anything for you.”
A tear escapes down Serena’s cheek. “Ditto.”
She deposits the shaking princess into Eaton’s arms and turns to embrace the rest of our friends. Even Cece, to whom she sincerely apologizes for breaking her nose.
“I refuse to take part in this ridiculous sob-fest.” Mar’s steely gaze remains fixed on the opposite wall, fingers locked around her crossed knees.
“I would expect nothing less, but I’m hugging you anyway. Don’t worry, you don’t have to return the favor.” Mar stiffens as Serena bends to wrap her in a hug. “I want you to know I’m going to do everything I can to free those witches. So that they don’t have to choose.”
Marideth finally looks at her, a sad glimmer in her eyes.
“Be happy.” Serena straightens and glances around at everyone. “All of you. No matter what happens.”
“It’s sounding more and more like you don’t intend to be the one to walk away from this fight, savior.”
“I promise you, Kai.” Serena moves toward him, taking his hands. “I will fight and claw and kill my way back to all of you. If it’s the last thing I do.”
In their eyes, I see the echoes of their trauma. They forged a bond in Kylian’s clutches, their loyalty so deep it’s fused into their souls. I can read it as they cling to each other.
Serena looks at our friends like it might be the last time—which has me deeply concerned. But I don’t say anything as she reaches for my hand. We’ve just made it to the door when Kai calls out, “Savior.”
She turns.
“Give him hell.”
Nodding, she says, “All the hell he deserves.”
Serena’s head nuzzles against my bare chest. I drag the tips of my fingers down her arms, listening to the sound of her breaths.
“Do you still think we’re doing the right thing?” she asks.
I hope so. But I don’t know. Margot’s message to Serena wasn’t exactly comforting. Or clear.
“Kylian needs to be stopped. For various reasons.” I tilt my head to look down at her. “But that doesn’t mean you have to do this. Not if you don’t want to.”
“But the deal—”
“Fuck the deal, we’ll figure something out.” I push up to my elbows. “If we have to run until we can find a way to kill him, then you and I will go someplace. I’m not letting you go. Not now. Not ever.”
Her lilac eyes blink up at me. “If I leave, he’ll kill everyone I know.”
“I can’t lose you.” My voice is no more than a whisper. It’s my deepest fear. One that came far too close to becoming a reality the last time Kylian backed her into a corner.
She cranes her neck to peer at me. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
“Then stop trying to leave me.”
She closes her eyes and sighs.
“Zadyn—” I cut her off with a kiss. She kisses me back for a moment, then breaks away.
Can I tell you something without you trying to convince me not to do this?
No promises.
She rolls her eyes but continues, I know I’m supposed to be strong like my ancestors. Brave. But I’m scared. I just have this feeling that something bad is about to happen.
My heart cinches as I drag her forehead to mine. Then don’t go.
What did I just say? I need you to be objective for two seconds.
You want me to be objective? Fine. What do you think makes someone strong? Brave? It isn’t being fearless. It’s having fear. It’s coming face to face with it and deciding to fight anyway.
So you see why I can’t turn and run. I wouldn’t be the person you fell in love with if I did.
When will you understand that no matter what you do, I will love you?
I won’t be a coward, Zadyn.
I don’t care what you are as long as you’re alive.
He won’t kill me. He wants me too much.
Serena—
“Please,” she says out loud. “I just want to spend this night with you. I don’t want to talk about Kylian. I just want you. So just be here with me. Okay?”
I rake my fingers through her hair, and she yields to my touch, her eyes closing. This time when we kiss, we don’t stop.