Chapter 13 #2
I hold my breath so tightly I’m about to combust.
Once she’s out of view, I’m able to move like a normal person, still puzzled about what happened. I exhale a long breath, knowing that deep down, I want to see her again.
I’m fascinated.
A bird coos overhead as someone slides into the seat behind me, and I can feel the weight of their shadow. It’s overwhelming.
I tense up, ready to run.
“Hello, Reeve,” a woman greets.
I turn around in my seat to catch her slicing gaze, as tender as a butcher’s knife—the same one she had when I first met her. She still scares me more than any man my size. I’m defenseless around her because I will never lay a hand on a woman, even if she lays a hand on me.
“Hello, lady,” I reply, slowly leaning back.
“Romina,” she corrects—even their names rhyme. “How are you?” she asks. It doesn’t sound fake, and I can tell when it does.
Why does she care so much?
I still don’t understand why she did all of this for me.
I’m nothing to her.
“I’m okay.”
“That’s all?” She crosses her arms over her chest, waiting for my reply.
I don’t know what to say. I like it here and don’t want to be forced to leave.
I have never had that kind of stability.
There were days when I had to scrape the remnants of butter and salt from the vendors just to get by because what we had wasn’t enough to satisfy everyone, and Mom always came first; otherwise, she couldn’t function.
She made the money anyway, so I needed to ensure she could.
She needs to see that I’m a good boy and wouldn’t cause trouble because I’d be finished if she kicks me out of here. That’s my last resort.
I gulp so hard I nearly choke.
“I really like it. I want to stay.”
“Don’t worry. This is your new home for the next five years. Keep training and enjoy the routine. The freedom. After you finish training, you’ll come work for me.”
I exhale a breath of relief, glad I don’t have to worry about the next five years for now.
“What will I do for you?” I cock my head and squint against the harsh sunlight peeking through the trees.
“You’ll start small and make your own money.”
I definitely like the sound of that.
I want to be independent and provide for myself and my future…
Yeah, I don’t know if I will have a future with anyone.
I clench my jaw as the realization hits, but I nod at Romina’s softened features. So, she is capable of expressing human emotions.
“I will revisit you in two and a half years to check on you.” Her decisiveness cuts through the air between us, which means I won’t see Winona until then—if she even plans to bring her at all.
I will count every hour of every day just for a chance to see her again. Maybe I’ll earn her smile next time. It’s enough time to ask the older guys around here how to act normally instead of being a mountain of crippling anxiety.
I don’t want to disappoint her by acting like a complete idiot.
“For how long are you planning to stay here?” I ask, hoping for a thrilling answer. One that will give me the green light to pursue my new obsession. I don’t have comic books around here, which are usually my go-to; just old books and “the classics.”
Her deadly eyes study me with no end. “A month.”
It’s longer than I expected.
“How’s my mom?” I change the subject. Right before I left, I asked Romina if she could check on my mom this one time to make sure she was okay. No one was there to look out for her when I wasn’t around—not even those clowns from the circus who called themselves “friends.”
A heavy sigh that feels as though it weighs like a gigantic rock escapes her mouth. Why do I feel like I need to prepare for a bomb drop? The vise-like grip on my chest makes it harder to breathe.
“I’m sorry, Reeve. I’m truly sorry. She was found dead.”
No.
No.
I clench my hands into tight fists.
She was fine when I left.
“How?” My voice is barely a whisper that falters as I try to process her words.
“She overdosed the day you escaped the circus.”
I killed her, too.
She trusted me, and I let her down. I had one job. Even when she wasn’t aware of all the details, she knew I kept her alive.
What have I done?
She kissed me on the cheek and told me she loved me right before she fell asleep.
Sometimes, that love turned into anger when Mom was on edge, but it was her addiction—not the trapped voice beneath the wreckage. She surrendered to that black void, letting it consume who she was because of that place.
I gasp.
My chest tightens so much that I can barely breathe.
“Reeve, it’s going to be okay. It’s not your fault.
” Romina’s voice mixes with the ringing in my ears and distant voices from my past. Everything spins around me.
The pulse in my throat pounds violently, and it feels like it’s about to detonate.
Nausea churns in my stomach. Black spots blur my vision before everything goes dark.
I snap my eyes open at the sound of a howl. My cheek is pressed against the mud, and the fresh, earthy smell fills my nose as I realize I’m outside.
Dented cans lie a few feet away, and cartridge cases are scattered beside me.
Fuck… I fainted.
The cold paralyzes my already aching bones. My wounded shoulder pulses violently. I push myself into a sitting position and rub my eyes before I remove the mask.
I pull the cigarette from behind my ear and fish my lighter from my pocket. The first puff always helps me relax. All I want is a moment of peace. The fighting never stops, and it gets harder the farther I am from her.
When I became Winona’s bodyguard, I became a permanent part of her life and felt like the happiest man alive.
I finally found my best friend. My other half.
The first girl who smiled at me and made me feel like I wasn’t alone stood before me with her sassy attitude and endless questions.
All grown up. Extra curious. She still had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.
I couldn’t break character around her grandma, but I let her see sparks of the real me.
I didn’t feel invisible.
She showed me every day that I wasn’t.
Her grandma saw me, too, and gave me a chance at a better life.
They are my only family.
“You can’t tell Winona,” Romina says right after she finishes.
Earlier, I feared she would send me away because she found out about Winona and me. Now, after all the things she shared with me, I’m not sure what scares me the most.
“She is twenty-one now. I kept it from her this long, but I need an ally—someone I can trust to help me deal with this.” Her eyes reflect her inner turmoil: a deep fear for Winona and the trust I have earned by being part of this family.
Her family.
“I’ll do whatever you tell me to keep her safe under one condition,” my words are sharp, cutting to the chase, just like I learned from her. I will do anything to stay in her life. I’ll be dead anyway if I don’t.
“Go ahead.”
That woman never blinks.
“If she accepts me, I will marry her. Somewhere in the future, it doesn’t have to be now.
But you won’t need to worry about her safety.
” I know she would order me to stop seeing her or assign me to another job.
But she trusts me more than anyone because there’s no one else I care about.
I only have eyes for Winona. Right now, I’m the strongest card in her hand, and she can’t fold.
I’m not afraid to sacrifice myself for her. My only fear is being pushed out of her life for no reason or making her hate me. That would wreck my heart.
Pursing her lips, Romina sighs and nods. “Deal. Whatever Winona decides, I won’t intervene.”
I’ve uncovered Romina’s deepest secrets and revealed the most unsettling truths. She’s not a saint—clearly—she has blood on her hands and enemies across the globe.
The worst is yet to come.