Change of Heart

Chapter 23

23

I keep my eyes screwed closed for several minutes when I wake up the morning after the fundraiser. The morning after I kissed Ben. The morning after Ben showed me exactly what that smart mouth of his can get up to.

I finally open just one eye, just a sliver. Just enough to check for sunshine and lace and a mountain of throw pillows piled in the corner of the room, where I ceremoniously toss them every night, where I leave them every morning, yet somehow by the time I’m ready to go to sleep, they’ve made their way back to the bed.

My vision catches on the sunshine first. It’s bright, beckoning through the sheer white curtains. The light somehow seems more blinding this morning, and I wonder if I’ve just fallen into some kind of love bubble where the flowers smell sweeter and the sun burns brighter.

A wave of relief washes over me when I open both eyes, take in all the details, and realize I’m still in my bedroom in Heart Springs. Still warm and cozy yet cool enough to sleep under the butter yellow covers. Still hair and makeup ready despite sleeping like the dead the night before.

I don’t stop to think about why I’m happy to still be here, despite the previous night with Ben all but fulfilling my final task.

The only noticeable change is in my wardrobe. When I throw open the doors of the closet, I’m faced once again with a brand new set of clothes. Everything hanging in the closet is in shades of red and green, a couple of gold sweaters and spangly silver dresses tucked in among the holiday spread.

I dart into the living room, which has been transformed overnight. A huge Christmas tree, reaching the ceiling, stands in one corner, already decorated with blinking white lights and a flurry of ornaments. Presents I definitely didn’t buy or wrap stand ready under the tree and the whole house smells like cinnamon and pine.

It sort of reminds me of Ben’s scent.

Just the thought of him brings a smile to my face.

And apparently just the thought of him brings the real him to my door.

I answer the knock, taking in a sleep-rumpled Ben with a grin. His eyes look tired but bright, and he offers me a mug of coffee in case I didn’t already think he was the greatest person in the world.

“You’re still here.” He says it with a relief that lets me know his confidence the night before wasn’t totally legit.

“We’re still here.” I take the coffee and gesture for him to come in.

But he shakes his head, softening the rejection with a sweet and all too closed-mouth peck. “You need to get to work.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Everything okay?”

“Now that we’ve gone rogue, I think it’s essential that we focus on making sure your other tasks are thoroughly and unarguably completed.”

I stick out my lower lip. “But work is boring and kissing you is way more fun.”

He laughs and leans in to kiss the pout off my face. “I’m glad you think so. But work is not boring. Don’t you want to check in with Emma anyway? See how the rest of the fundraiser went?”

I nod, begrudgingly. “Yes. I suppose.” I actually do want to—need to—talk to Emma so I can apologize for running out on the event and leaving her to fend for herself.

Plus, I need to see how she’s feeling about her upcoming date with Ethan.

I finish the final swig of my coffee, handing Ben my empty mug. “All right then. Be off with you so I can strip off these PJs and get dressed.”

His pupils widen, my words having their desired effect.

I pop a button on my pajama top, just to see if I can get him to break, but he shakes his head and focuses his eyes on mine.

“We should go see Mimi at the café later today.”

That’s enough to halt my fingers. “You were expecting to end up back home this morning, weren’t you?”

He shrugs, but his eyes can’t hide the truth. “I don’t really know what to expect anymore, Cam, but whatever ends up happening, we’ll deal with it.”

“Is this where you tell me we can face anything as long as we face it together?”

“You really are an asshole sometimes, aren’t you?”

I grin, leaning in to leave him with a lingering kiss. “The sooner you accept that, the easier your life will be.”

“Have a good day at work, dear.”

“Have a good day playing doctor since no one in this town ever seems to get sick or hurt.”

He rolls his eyes, bounding down my front walk with a spring in his step.

I take a minute to enjoy the view of him walking away before ducking back inside and getting dressed for the day. Skinny jeans and a red sweater and knee-high brown boots. Nothing I ever would have picked out for myself before, but when I check my reflection in the full-length mirror on the back of my bedroom door, I have to admit, it doesn’t look too bad.

I double back for a real coat once I step outside and realize that along with the wardrobe update and décor explosion, the weather has changed once again, a chill in the air and heavy clouds in the sky, the kind that look like they might open up and dump a snowstorm on you at any moment.

Pushing into the front door of the bakery, I slip out of my coat and hang it on the rack that yesterday stood empty, but today is dotted with scarves and jackets.

The bakery is crowded, a line extending almost out the door, so I jump behind the counter and start pouring coffees. “Sorry I’m late,” I call to Emma over my shoulder as I grind espresso beans and tap them into their little pod, which I now know is called a portafilter, ready to slot into the machine.

“We will be discussing the reason for your tardiness in great detail.” She offers a harried smile and a bag of muffins to the customer at the counter. “As soon as we get through this line!”

I hand one of our regulars his pumpkin spice latte. “Here you go, Fred!”

“Thanks so much, Cam! Great event last night!” Fred takes his first sip and sighs with pleasure. “Perfectly made, as always!”

I wave to him as he exits the store and turn to help the next customer.

It takes longer than usual for the bakery to calm down, people continuing to come through the door long past the typical end-of-the-morning rush. The delay could be chalked up to the fact that everyone wants to talk about the fundraiser, nothing but effusive praise directed at both me and Emma, but mostly me, if I’m being honest.

Finally, around midafternoon, the door closes behind our last customer and Emma flips around the “Open” sign, even though it’s a half an hour before we usually close for the day.

We collapse at one of the tables, neither of us bothering to wipe the sticky trail of crumbs the last person sitting here left behind.

I hoist myself up again a second later, needing a second boost of caffeine more than I need a break for my feet. “I can’t believe I’ve been standing next to you all day and I still don’t know how the fundraiser turned out. Please tell me you can forgive me for bailing on you early.”

Emma stays put at the table near the door, but even from across the room, I can see the sadness in her eyes. “I hate to say this, Cam, and I really hope you don’t blame yourself, but unfortunately…”

My stomach drops, and despite her preface, I don’t know if I’ll be able to forgive myself if the fundraiser was a failure. I never should have left, but typical selfish Cam had only one person on her mind—me.

“Unfortunately, you’re going to have to keep working at the bakery for the foreseeable future because we made more than enough money to buy the shop!” She jumps out of her chair, joining me behind the counter.

I don’t even resist when she grabs my hands, jumping up and down with excitement. The motion forces me to jump up and down too, or maybe it’s just the sheer joy of the moment seeping through and working its way into my formerly cold and dead heart.

“Emma! I’m so fucking excited for you, I can’t even stand it!” I throw my arms around her, squeezing tightly.

“I’m so excited for me too!” She spins us around in a circle, breaking my hold on her when the espresso machine beeps for attention. “A bakery and a date with Ethan, all in one night.” She pours each of us a shot of espresso, though I’ve never seen her drink anything less sweet than a flavored latte piled high with whipped cream and a chocolate drizzle on top. I must be rubbing off on her, and that thought makes me a little bit proud. “I never could have done this without you, Cam. Seriously, with all the work you put into the fundraiser, all the money we made, you’ve completely changed my life.”

I clink my tiny espresso cup against hers, and we both swallow the rich, bitter brew. I hide my teary eyes behind the mug. Between Emma and Ben, I’m hearing things about myself that I still don’t know if I can fully accept.

A tap on the front door draws my attention away from my thoughts. A grin splits my face when I see Ben waiting for me in front of the bakery.

Emma nudges me. “Don’t think you’ve escaped this conversation; you will be telling me what happened with Dr. Loving. I want all the details.” She winks at me, the move more adorable and endearing than salacious.

“I’ll tell you everything tomorrow, promise.” Though it strikes me that I maybe shouldn’t make that kind of promise anymore, one that I don’t know that I will be able to fulfill.

Emma wraps me in another hug before I can turn to leave. “Thank you again, Cam. For everything. Bringing you into the bakery was the best decision I ever made!”

I don’t want to remind her that it wasn’t her decision at all—I was forced on her by Mimi just like I’ve been forced on everyone else—but she doesn’t really know that. Instead, I return her hug, letting her gratitude warm my core.

Which is useful, because it’s fucking freezing outside. The moment I step through the front door of the bakery, I have to tuck my hands inside my coat pockets and burrow down into my collar. I guess the scarf and mittens hanging on my coatrack at home this morning weren’t just there for ambiance.

Luckily, Ben seems to be my own personal furnace. He tugs me into his embrace, placing a soft kiss on my cheek before tucking me into his side for the short walk to Mimi’s.

“So…don’t keep me in suspense, how did everything work out for Emma last night?”

Another wide grin splits my face—I can’t seem to stop them today; they just keep on coming. “Amazing! She made enough money to buy the shop! She’s going to be able to keep the bakery open. And we were packed today. It feels like everyone in town came in at some point.”

“That’s amazing, sweetheart. I’m so happy for both of you.”

“Thanks.” I don’t voice the worrisome postscript in the back of my mind—that I’m actually a little bit sad I won’t get to see the true fruits of our labor. At some point I’m going to go back to New York and I won’t get to work with Emma any longer.

But at least I can leave knowing I helped her secure her dream. And a date with her man, which we didn’t even get to talk about today. I’m going to miss catching up with her and seeing all of her happiness come to fruition.

“Hey.” Ben nudges my ribs with his elbow. “We’re going to get some answers, okay? Not knowing is the hardest part.”

I hope he’s right about that, because right now it feels like leaving might be the hardest part. Then again, there’s no guarantee that we will be leaving. I might have totally destroyed that possibility by hooking up with Ben last night. Though I don’t think either of us would consider what happened to be merely a hookup. And if I’ve irreparably screwed up my chances at accomplishing my tasks, what does that mean for Ben?

The bell over the café door tinkles as Ben pushes it open, holding it for me before shutting out the cold behind us. As usual, the homey space is bare of people. Mimi waits for us at our regular table, two mugs already sitting and waiting for me and Ben. I can practically hear the ominous tones underscoring our entrance.

We slide into our seats like kids waiting for a punishment from the principal. Which is ridiculous, really. We haven’t done anything wrong.

I wrap my hands around my mug and take a careful sip. The brew inside is pepperminty and chocolatey and I really wish I didn’t find it so damn delicious.

Ben sits stiffly next to me, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jacket, his face tight with some unreadable emotion. “Look, Mimi—”

Mimi stops him with a pointed glare. “Well. You two have managed to get yourselves into quite the little pickle.”

I peek to my left, but Ben’s eyes are now firmly locked somewhere in the distance over Mimi’s shoulder. So I guess it’s up to me to present our defense. “Believe it or not, Meem, I didn’t exactly set out to break all the rules here.”

One of her eyebrows arches like a Disney villain’s. “Why do I find that hard to believe?”

I refuse to let her fluster me. I have stared in the face of way more foreboding characters than Mimi, and most of the time, I’ve come out on top. Except when facing off with my grandmother, of course. Who, now that I think about it, does bear a slight resemblance to Mimi herself.

But none of that matters. I pull back my shoulders. “Look, Mimi, if we approach this whole situation logically, you’ll see that really, I’ve done exactly what was asked of me. I found a job I’m passionate about—look what we accomplished with the fundraiser last night!” I inject cheer into my voice, but Mimi’s face doesn’t give me even an inch. “Everyone has been super nice to me lately, and they don’t even seem to be pretending!”

Mimi offers me a mere grunt of assent, but doesn’t bother to expand beyond that.

“And…” I look to my left again. This time Ben meets my eyes and the softness in his gaze bolsters me. He pulls a hand from his pocket, taking mine in his and squeezing gently. “And you told me to fall in love, Mimi. And I did.”

I sort of hate that the first time I’m saying the words out loud, it’s not just to Ben. But on the other hand, it makes it easier having a buffer here. In case he’s wised up since last night and changed his mind about me.

Mimi sits back in her chair, her eyes flitting back and forth between the two of us. “You’re in this then. Both of you? For real?”

I hold my breath, waiting to hear Ben’s answer.

His grip on my hand tightens and for a second, fear sinks my stomach. But then he lifts our joined hands, kissing mine before looking right at Mimi and saying, “I couldn’t be more in this, Mimi.” Ben hesitates for a minute before speaking again. “I’ve waited a long time to find someone who felt like a match for me. I’ve watched so many of my friends and colleagues find their partners, and for years I thought I was doomed to never find one of my own. But I knew from the moment I first saw Cam that she was different. Even if she was a complete jerk that night.” He shoots me a grin. “Getting stuck here together seemed like it might be the worst thing to ever happen to me, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that Cam is the one I’ve been waiting for, that being here was really just bringing us together. She’s my best friend.”

I know the man himself told me to be prepared for more sap, but good god, could he at least break me in gently? Is there anything worse than tearing up in front of Mimi as he makes a declaration of love so grand even Hallmark would call it cheesy?

Mimi’s eyes soften as she listens to Ben’s speech. She leans forward, resting her arms on the table between us. Then her entire face changes, going from soft to smug.

And a realization dawns on me. “This was your plan the whole time, wasn’t it?”

Mimi shrugs, tossing her gray curls over her shoulder. “I admit nothing.”

“You are the one who brought us here.” I point a finger at her. “You assigned me men you knew I wouldn’t fall for and told Ben his only task was to help me.”

A smile pulls on Ben’s lips. “Ensuring Cam and I would spend plenty of time together.”

I cross my arms over my chest, not nearly as amused as he is. “This was your plan from the beginning. Fess up, Meem.”

She sighs, smiling. “All right, fine. I knew when I saw the two of you at that café that there was something between you. You were both just too stubborn to see it. So, I decided to give you the push you needed to bring you together.” She gestures to the table, where our joined hands rest. “Don’t pretend to be mad when it clearly worked.”

She has a point there, but I’m not ready to hand it to her yet. “Why didn’t you just tell us that from the beginning? Save us the trouble?”

Mimi snorts. “Like that would have worked. When in your life have you not done things your own way, Campbell?” She turns her all-too-observant eyes on Ben. “And you. You say you’ve been looking for love, but being in love requires vulnerability. It requires opening up to people and letting them see who you really are.”

It took a long time for Ben to open up to me. I mostly thought that was because it took me forever to ask him questions about himself, but maybe that wasn’t the only reason.

“It’s been hard to let people in,” Ben admits. “Sometimes my job requires me to compartmentalize. Maybe I was doing it so much, I forgot to turn that part of my brain off.”

“Why do you think it was different with me?”

His eyes meet mine, and his whole heart is reflected in his gaze. “Everything is different with you, Cam.”

“Just as I expected, you two were made for each other.”

Okay, fine. Another point for Mimi.

“So what happens now?” Ben asks, his grip on my hand tightening.

Mimi hesitates before answering. “When the tasks have been completed, then you’ll both go home.”

Ben and I exchange a look. “So I haven’t completed the tasks yet?”

“Not yet.”

“And what happens when we get home?” Just asking the question makes my stomach spin, but if Ben and I aren’t going to come out on the other side of this together, I think I need to know now.

Mimi’s face softens, but her eyes betray nothing. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Ben releases my hand and sits back in his seat. “How long are we going to be stuck here, Mimi?”

“That depends on you.”

“Depends on me, you mean.” My hand feels empty without Ben’s in it. Here we are, just getting started together, and I already feel like I’m failing him.

“Yes,” Mimi confirms.

“I realize that the way I’ve gone about things might be a little unorthodox, but you know what?” I scoot my chair closer to Ben’s. “I don’t do this whole love business, okay? I go on occasional dates. I hook up when the mood strikes. But I don’t open myself up to people. I don’t let anyone in. And Ben did that for me. He cracked me open like a freaking walnut in a Christmas nutcracker, which is maybe not the best metaphor but whatever, you get the point. And now you’re telling me we can’t go home until I what, build my own fucking bakery? Spend my whole life doing community service? Why should he be stuck here because of me? This is bullshit.” I finish my tirade like I’m finishing closing arguments, waiting for some kind of similarly rousing response.

Instead, Ben is full on fucking beaming and Mimi looks proud, despite my harsh words aimed directly at her.

“That was beautiful, Cam.” She pushes back her chair, coming around to our side of the table and hugging us both, the motion squishing our faces together. “I’m so happy for you guys, really, and I promise all hope is not lost. You can still find your way home.”

I gently tug out of her embrace so I can, you know, breathe again. “Thanks, Meem. We appreciate your support.”

“Yeah, we appreciate you,” Ben says, standing and taking my hand back in his, yanking me out of my seat. He pulls me along, the two of us practically running down the street toward our houses.

“Dude, where’s the fire?” I can barely get the words out.

Ben throws open his door, shutting it behind us just as quickly. “No fire, I just really needed to do this.”

And with that, my back hits the door as his lips crash down on mine.