Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
Joey had enjoyed the evening with Denny so much they were a little sad when it was his bedtime, and they had to stop reading and leave him to sleep. Their experience of childcare was very different from the responsibilities of real parenting, when you had to fit a busy life around the demands of a small child. But still, they wished they had more time with him.
They’d just checked in on Denny for the umpteenth time and found him still fast asleep when the truck pulled up outside. They opened the door for Marianne. “Hi, how was your evening?”
Marianne’s cheeks were pale, and her hair was plastered to her head. “Good thanks. No disasters. I’m ready for my day off, though.”
“I’ll get away and let you relax.” They pulled their coat from the hook, but Marianne closed the door.
“Please stay for a drink?” She went into the kitchen. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
Joey’s insides froze. Had she changed her mind about staying? They followed behind. “Okay.”
Marianne swung open the fridge and pulled out a bottle of white wine. “Open this and pour us a glass while I jump in the shower.”
Joey watched her walk up the corridor, pulling her clothes off as she went. Quickly turning away, they went in search of a bottle opener.
They’d filled two glasses and had been waiting in the lounge for just a few minutes when Marianne reappeared, dressed in old worn sweatpants and towel-drying her wet hair.
She launched herself onto the couch and picked up the glass, taking a long mouthful. “Thank you, I needed this.” She pulled up her bare feet and rested her head back.
Joey felt for her. They wished they could do more to lighten her load. “It’s a lot for you. A demanding full-time job and being a single parent of a toddler.”
Marianne rested the hand with the wineglass on the back of the couch and turned her gaze to Joey. “Yeah, I don’t think I can do it long-term. I need to think about where my career is going next. And not being able to talk about Denny’s future with Amira is driving me to distraction. She surely can’t just walk out of his life. She’s legally his parent as much as I am.”
“I don’t know how she can bear to be away from him so long. He’s…amazing.” Did that sound lame? Joey was virtually a stranger to Denny. They doubted Marianne was looking for their emotional input.
Marianne was still watching them, and she chewed her lip for a moment. “He really thrives around you. I often feel I’m rushing my time with him. Amira was the same. We were always too busy with the business. But you put everything on hold when you’re around Denny. I need to learn from you.”
Joey laughed uncomfortably. “I don’t think you should take parenting tips from the person least likely to be a parent.”
“Maybe you should think about it. Some people are naturals. You’re one of those.”
“There would be nothing natural about me becoming a parent.” Joey hoped she hadn’t picked up on the undertone of bitterness, but their earlier thoughts came back, and they hated that they could never have a child.
Marianne sat up. “Hey, don’t talk like that. Amira and I didn’t just drop into it in the easy way many hetero couples can and conceive without even thinking about it. But maybe having to work harder at it makes us more deserving of the privilege of parenting a child.” She shook her head. “Or at least that’s what I thought back then.” Her expression darkened.
Joey swirled the wine in the glass. “Maybe we should change the conversation topic.”
The wine splashed dangerously close to the rim as they watched with concentration, not wanting to hear what Marianne had to say next.
“Oh yes, the thing I wanted to talk to you about.”
Marianne got up and returned with the wine bottle. She topped up her own glass with a generous measure, but Joey waved away a refill. They weren’t particularly looking forward to their nighttime ride across the island as it was. They didn’t need to add falling in a ditch to their day.
“I need to get back on social media. I posted that I was taking a month’s break and that’s over now. I’ll need to come back with a bounce.”
‘You’ve got a stunning backdrop and a beautiful restaurant to film in. You’ll soon get back in the swing of it.” Joey had long been a big fan of Marianne’s channels. Her snippets of life as a chef were engaging and illuminating and had always made Joey feel they knew her better than they did.
“You remember when I came out on the boat with you, and we filmed the journey of the lobsters? From you pulling up the creels to me serving them up in the restaurant.”
“Yeah, it was a good day.” The day they’d realized just how strong their inappropriate feelings were. They remembered every moment like it had been yesterday.
Mari took a drink. “It was fun, but it was also one of the most popular reels I’ve ever made. The engagement it got was off the chart.” She looked at Joey. “I’d like to do it again. Maybe a series covering everything you catch. And we could go out to the oyster bed.”
Joey was torn. The opportunity to spend time with Mari was so tempting, but they were trying to keep their distance. Cramped together on the tiny Queen Maedbh wasn’t the best way to do that. Besides, they were uncomfortable on camera, though Marianne seemed to have an inexplicable interest in featuring them extensively in her videos.
“I don’t think I can fit it in. Between work and Dad, and now trying to take time to get the funding in place for the new trestles, there just isn’t any spare time.”
“Please. It would really help me get my career back together.” Marianne put down her empty glass and grasped Joey’s hand. “I can come out when you’re working, so it won’t mean extra trips. Just having me along for the ride.”
Marianne threw them into all kinds of confusion every time she held them in her pastel blue gaze. But she needed this, and even if it hastened her departure, they had no choice but to help.
“Okay, if it doesn’t take too much time, and I can actually work while you’re filming.” There was a limit to the number of times they could stage pulling a lobster out of a creel for the camera.
“I promise. It’ll be authentic footage of you working, and I’ll do my thing and stay out of your way.” She leaned across and kissed Joey on the cheek. “I’ll find a way to thank you, somehow.”
Joey jumped up. The intimacy was too much. “I’ve got a dark ride ahead of me. I’ll get going.”
Marianne stood, too. “Oh no, you must take the truck. I don’t need it tomorrow. If the weather’s good, I’ll take Denny out for a walk.”
“If you’re sure?” Joey was glad to avoid the bike ride and pushed down the thought that this meant another reason to see Marianne when they brought the truck back.
Marianne followed them to the door and handed over the keys. “Thanks again, Joey. For everything.”
“No bother.” They turned Marianne’s hug into a quick embrace and almost ran out the door. How were they ever going to keep a lid on this attraction if they kept agreeing to cozy projects together? It felt like they were inviting a whole lot of heartache, the very thing they’d been trying hard to avoid.
Joey waved to Tierney’s cousin on the road the following afternoon. Aoife was still dressed in her Walsh Ferries uniform as she walked with her three children up the lane. They stopped the car, and the oldest child ran up to the window. “Hi, Joey.”
“How’s it going, Gracie? Are you looking forward to big school next term?”
Gracie screwed up her face. “I think so. I’ll have to get up really early to get on the ferry with Mum, but there’ll be lots of new people to meet.”
Aoife came up behind and dropped a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “We’ll be having some very early nights to begin with, until we get into the new routine. It’ll be good for her. Sure, everyone needs to get off this island for a while, don’t they?”
Joey nodded agreement.
“How are Marianne and Denny settling in now they’re here for the whole summer? The girls have been telling me he and Ruane walk together back to Bridie’s every day after school.”
“Yeah, he loves the school run, apparently.”
“It’s good for them both to have some companionship. Will you tell Marianne he’s welcome for a sleepover anytime? It’s usually just me and the kids while Seán’s at work, and another one is no trouble at all. Especially when he’s such a good lad.”
Pride rushed through Joey at the comment. But what were they thinking? Denny wasn’t their child to be proud of. “He is a great kid. I’ll let Mari know. She needs a bit of downtime, too.”
They waved the family past and drove on down to the Waterside, where they’d promised to pick up Kasia for a swim. As the road descended to the hotel, the vista opened out in front of them: distant mountains, gleaming sea, and the beautiful natural harbor in the foreground. It was a glorious day, and they wished they’d offered to spend time with Mari and Denny. But their swims with Kasia were difficult to schedule in the busier summer months, and today worked for them both.
Kasia grabbed her bag the moment Joey entered the foyer. She leaned over the counter and kissed Tierney’s cheek. “Are you sure you’ll be okay for an hour or two?”
Tierney grinned at Joey. “I think I’ll cope.”
Joey waved and followed Kasia out.
“Let’s go before I get pulled into something else.” Kasia jumped into the truck, and they pulled away toward the beach.
“How are you feeling?”
Joey glanced across. “Good, I guess. Marianne’s asked me to do some filming with her.”
“And do you want to?”
“Yeah, of course. Marianne needs to regain her confidence and keep her fans happy.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Joey pulled the truck to a stop on the narrow lane and turned in their seat. “I know you love me and you want to look out for me.” They took a deep breath as they formed the words they wanted. “But there are some things I really need to work out for myself, Kasia. Can you rein in the advice a little until I’m looking for it?”
She frowned and opened her mouth. Then she blinked and nodded. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m just so worried you’re going to get hurt.”
Joey squeezed her knee. “Maybe I will. But at the moment I’m enjoying Mari’s company, and Denny’s, and I like helping her out when I can.”
“Okay.” Kasia put her hand over Joey’s. “But I’m here if you need me.”
“I know.” They restarted the engine. “Thank you.”
They drove on in comfortable silence, but before they reached the beach, two instantly recognizable figures stepped out onto the path in front of them. Kasia laughed. “I wondered why you wanted to swim down here.”
Joey ignored the warm feeling that filled them at the sight of Marianne and Denny. “I swear I didn’t know. Do you want to swim from the harbor instead?”
Marianne was swinging a beach bag from one hand, while she firmly clutched Denny’s smaller one with the other. She turned at the sound of the engine and her face lit in a smile.
“Because turning around now wouldn’t look weird at all.” Kasia waved at Marianne. “Let’s go and join them, and I can practice being child-friendly.”
Marianne greeted Joey with a fierce hug and Kasia with a more restrained one. “Hey, fancy bumping into you two. I hope you weren’t planning a quiet swim.”
“Joey, Joey, Joey. Swimming.” Denny had extracted himself from his mother’s grip and was determinedly trying to drag Joey by their shorts toward the sea.
“Denny, hang on. We’re all going to swim.” Marianne followed behind with Kasia as Joey was propelled toward the water.
They scooped up Denny and held him high, making him squeal with laughter. “Calm down, shrimp. You need your wetsuit on.”
They selected a spot behind the sea wall sheltered from the ever-present wind, and Marianne wrestled Denny into his wetsuit and arm bands. “Sorry, Kasia, you’ve got some competition for Joey’s attention.”
Kasia spread Marianne’s rug on a flat rock. “It’s fine. I’ll let these two wear themselves out, and then I’ll have a nice sedate swim.” She sat down and leaned back, her face bathed by the warm sun.
Joey hoped Kasia didn’t mind spending her free time with her newest employee as they rushed down to the sea with Denny. He splashed about excitedly, but quieted when Joey picked up a shell to show him or pointed out a shoal of tiny fish.
Joey kept one eye on the beach where Kasia and Marianne appeared to be having a relaxed conversation. They were glad Mari was able to chill out while they entertained Denny. After half an hour of splashing about, without the exertion of swimming and wearing just board shorts and a rash vest, Joey shivered.
“Hey, shrimp. How about we go and sit on the beach in the sun for a while? You can build castles.”
“Nooooo.” The word ended in a shriek as his little hand pulled out of theirs and he launched himself back into the shallow water. “Denny swimmin’!”
“Hi, Denny.” Joey turned to see Kasia approaching and threw her a grateful smile. “Would you like to come and look for crabs in the rock pools?”
“Yes. Cwabs.” Denny ran toward her, making pincer movements with his hands.
“Crabs don’t run forward, they go sideways.” Kasia was saying as Joey ran up the beach.
They dropped onto the rug next to Marianne, who lounged on one elbow, gaze following the antics on the beach. Kasia was leading Denny sideways across the sand toward the rocks, both of them imitating crab claws with their hands.
“I think becoming a parent will be good for Kasia.” They leaned back on their elbows to bask in the sun, but also so they could throw a side glance at Marianne in her emerald green tank top. Suncream was slathered over her freckled skin.
“Yeah, it’s a strange mix of having to slow everything right down, but also learning to multitask in a way you never knew was possible.” Mari’s smile was lazy and relaxed, warming Joey more than the sun.
Marianne looked away toward the shining sea. “It’s like paradise here when the weather behaves.”
“I think we appreciate it all the more because it’s not the norm.” In truth, Joey loved Inishderry in all conditions. The soft rainy days; the wildness of the wind. It was perfect whatever the weather. “It would be a very different island if we had this for three months of the year. But I agree, on days like this why would you want to be anywhere else?” They sat up. “But I guess it must feel very isolated and quiet compared to what you’re used to.”
Mari turned back to them, shading her eyes. “And why would that be a bad thing? Your home is the most wonderful place I’ve ever visited, Joey. I love that you don’t take it for granted.”
But only wonderful enough to visit. Joey pushed themself up from the rug. “I’ll rescue Kasia and let her swim.”
Mari jumped up. “No, Denny has had enough free entertainment. I’ll take him home, and you can finally relax.”
She ran down the beach before Joey could object and was soon returning with a squirming child in her arms. His howls echoed across the bay. “Denny find cwabs!”
“I know you did, sweetpea. You’re a clever boy. But it’s time to go home. We’ll come back soon. Say goodbye to Joey.”
Denny turned away and buried his head in her shoulder, causing an ache in Joey’s chest.
Marianne swung around to face them. “Sorry. He’s tired. Don’t take it personally.”
“Ha, of course not.” Joey laughed away Denny’s rejection. They kissed Marianne’s cheek and ruffled Denny’s hair. “See you later, shrimp.”
Joey forced themself not to stay and watch as Marianne walked back up the beach. Instead, they turned to see Kasia waist deep in the water and beckoning for them to join her. They could do this friends thing. They ran into the surf, the waves chilling their sun-warmed skin. And if it gets too much, the sea will always cool me off.