Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
“So, Marianne’s staying for the season?” Joey stared at the top of their perfect, creamy pint. They’d made time to go to the pub with Tierney for the first time in weeks.
“Yep, she signed the contract yesterday. I’m surprised she hasn’t shared the news yet.” Tierney was chewing on bar snacks and flicking through the brochure advertising all the summer’s events on the island.
“I’m trying not to crowd her. Kasia was saying she doesn’t seem to mix much with the islanders so I thought it might be because I’m always hanging around her, not giving her a chance to meet anyone else.” They kept their voice low so Seán the bar manager wouldn’t hear, but he was busy talking to Jacky.
“I think she meant that, outside of work, Marianne relies a little too much on you organizing things for her. If she wants to get on here, she needs to build her own relationships.”
Joey took a long drink from their pint. “I’m worried about becoming too reliant on her company.”
“Well, now you know she’s here all summer. Are you pleased about that?”
“Yeah.” They ran a finger through the condensation on their glass. “I can’t help but be delighted. I am trying to be more normal about it.” They nearly shared what had happened with the kiss, but it felt too intimate and private, even with Tierney, who they’d known all their life.
“She seems to like you a lot. D’you think if she sticks around, you might get together?”
Joey laughed at Tierney’s eternal optimism. “Do I think a celebrity chef might decide to stay on this rock, sort out all her other shit, and then fall in love with…” They waved at themself. “Me? I don’t see why not.”
Tierney didn’t join their laughter. “Joey, don’t do that. You’re a great catch. Don’t put yourself down.”
They finished their pint, suddenly wanting to be alone. “This has been grand, but I need to head back.”
“Please don’t run off. We were having a good evening. I’d almost forgotten I’m not drinking.” Tierney grasped their sleeve as they stood. “Please, Joey.”
They dropped back onto their stool. Perhaps talking to Tierney was healthier than dwelling on things alone. At least that’s what Doc Scott would tell them. “I thought I was doing okay.”
“So, you really like her, then?”
“Oh, yeah. I always did. But it was easy to write it off as some silly crush when she was a city customer with a wife. Now she’s here on Inishderry, my home, every single day. And the more I get to know her, the deeper I fall.”
“Have you talked about it?” Tierney’s brown eyes shone with empathy.
“We’ve talked about her getting her life sorted and needing a good friend. I want to be there for her without making anything awkward.”
“You’re an amazing person, the best. She’s lucky to have you in her life, whatever that looks like.” Tierney’s words were said with such sincerity, Joey had no doubt she meant them. But hearing that didn’t help them believe any of it.
“If you want me to stay, can we talk about something else?” Joey finished their pint and licked their top lip. “Another 7-Up?” They waved their empty glass at Seán, who nodded.
Tierney laughed. “One’s plenty, thanks. Shall I tell you about the dreary job my dad wants me to work on back in the US? You need to help me come up with a good excuse not to go.”
They chatted about Tierney’s plans for wildlife photography tours after the baby was born, and other casual topics, for the rest of the evening. Joey was glad of the easy company and the distraction from other thoughts for a while. They reminded themself that the summer was about to kick off, and no one would have a chance to think about anything else for a few months. That included their obsession with Marianne. Busy was good. They left the bar with a renewed sense of confidence. They should spend more time with Tierney. She was good for the soul.
“Hey there, stranger.”
Marianne’s voice sent a shiver through Joey. They turned to see her poking her head out of the kitchen delivery doors. Her bandanna was in her hand and her short hair was damp and mussed.
“Hey, how’s it going?” They put down the empty crates on the trolley and walked back up the path.
“You used to run the deliveries by me before you left.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought Connor was senior enough to check them. I didn’t want to disturb you.” Didn’t want to see you and stare into your eyes like a lovesick puppy, just like I’m doing now.
“He is. It’s fine, it just feels like you’ve been avoiding me. I thought we were good?” Marianne’s freckled forehead creased.
“Yeah, yeah, all good. I’ve been busy with the business planning, and I thought you would be, too. How’s Denny doing?”
“He’s settled in well with Bridie. He loves going with her to the school to pick up the other kids. They’re doing him good.” Marianne’s face brightened and Joey was glad she was feeling more reassured about Denny.
“Actually, I was going to call you.”
Joey’s finger had been hovering over Marianne’s number all week, but they didn’t know if it was helpful to find out she’d been thinking of them, too.
“You know you said you’d help with Denny if I needed it?”
They nodded.
“Aisling can’t do Saturday night, and I’m on evening service. I don’t suppose you’re free?”
I’m always free. Especially when you smile at me like that. “I think so. I’d like to spend some time with Denny. Let me know what time.”
“Thanks, Joey, you’re a star.” She turned her head toward the kitchen door. “I’d better get back in. See you Saturday around five?”
They gathered their crates and wandered back down to the boat, pleased that they’d be seeing Denny. So, why were they disappointed Marianne only wanted them for childcare? Aagh. Why is there no pleasing me?
Saturday night came around and they turned up in plenty of time before Marianne needed to leave. They knocked and heard a distant “Coming!” After a minute, Marianne opened the door, a toothbrush in her mouth and dressed in nothing but bra and panties.
The heat that spread through Joey made them unsteady. They sucked in a breath in an attempt not to pass out on the doorstep. Marianne reddened.
“Oh, God, I’m sorry,” she mumbled around the toothbrush. “You’re early and Denny isn’t quite at the answering the door stage yet.” She dashed back toward the bedroom.
Denny was playing on the floor with some Duplo bricks and Joey dropped to join him. “Hi, Denny.” Think about Duplo bricks.
“Joey.” Denny reached his chubby little arms out and sat between Joey’s crossed legs. “Boat?” He held up a construction that bore no resemblance to a boat that Joey could see.
“That’s grand. Shall we try and make another one?” They picked up some more blocks and guided Denny to put them together in a vaguely hull-shaped structure. As they worked together, Denny’s little fingers made up in enthusiasm what they lacked in precision. Joey was completely engrossed in the process until Marianne cleared her throat.
“You two make a good team.” She was standing in the doorway, a crease between her eyebrows, but thankfully fully dressed.
Denny pointed at their creation. “Joey boat.”
“It is Joey’s boat. You’re a clever boy.”
Joey sat him down and stood up, stretching their legs, stiff from the time on the floor.
“Sorry about earlier. I didn’t think.” Marianne flushed again.
“It’s okay. I want you to feel safe around me.”
“Oh, I do. Hence not thinking twice about answering the door to you half dressed. But I realize that might not be appropriate.”
“Really, it’s fine.” Joey wished they didn’t have every detail of Marianne in her plain but skimpy black cotton underwear etched into their brain. The way her small, perfectly shaped breasts rose out of the sports bra. They shook their head and wished they had time to go for a quick sea swim to cool off.
Marianne brushed past them and sat down next to Denny. “Mama’s got to go back to work now, sweetpea. Joey’s going to stay and play with you, but you must go to bed when they say, okay?”
Denny wrapped his arms around her neck, and she pulled him in close and kissed his little cheeks. He pulled away from the kisses and turned. “Joey story?”
Marianne laughed as she stood. “He’s so fickle in his love.”
“You’re so close, I don’t think there’s any danger of you ever having to compete for his affection.” Joey picked up Denny with one hand and swept him into their arms. “Let’s go and wave goodbye to Mama.”
As Marianne opened the truck door, she turned. “I appreciate the loan of this, too. I’m going to have to make other arrangements now I’m here for a while.”
Joey shrugged. “It’s impossible to get hold of a car around here. And I like riding my bike when I don’t need the van for deliveries.” They nodded to their beaten-up old mountain bike leaning against the wall.
“Oh, Joey, you can’t be riding a bike while I’m using your truck. That’s so unfair.”
“I mean it; I love the bike. It makes me feel good.” They enjoyed the way they could burn off some of their more negative emotions while riding in the fresh air. The ride home in the dark tonight might not be quite so much fun, though.
“I know what you mean.” Marianne leaned on the hood of the truck. “I used to ride everywhere around town before Denny came along.”
Joey shuffled Denny around so they could check the time. “You’re going to be late for your shift.”
Marianne checked her watch. “Oh, God. How did that happen?” She looked up with a grin as she jumped into the cab. “You’re a bad influence on me, Joey O’Hara.” She lowered the window. “Bye, Denny. Be good.” She blew him a kiss.
As she drove off, Denny turned to Joey. “Mama gone.” His little bottom lip quivered.
“Only for a little while. Let’s get you some dinner and practice that word so you can say “Mama” when she’s here.”
They had been looking forward to spending time with Denny since Marianne had asked the favor. They genuinely enjoyed his company. It was the one thing about their life that they’d never been completely at peace with. That they could never have a child of their own.
People who could walk away from their connection with a child were a complete mystery to them. How could they break that bond? They watched Denny doing his best to pick up his food with a fork and wondered how hard it was going to be to say goodbye when Marianne inevitably left to pick up her own exciting life.