Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
“You’re going back to Dublin?” Joey tried to keep their tone neutral, but they’d known this time would come. They gazed across the stony beach at the few day visitors who’d ventured to this side of the island.
“No, not back. I’m just going for a visit. Denny needs to see his mum. And my mum.”
Joey’s insides felt torn apart. They knew it was important for Denny to see his family, especially Amira. It had been nearly four months since she’d spent any time with him. And they guessed it was a good sign Marianne was recovered enough to return to the city. But it was like she was turning a corner away from this idyllic summer they’d been enjoying together. Especially now they’d moved on to…whatever this was.
Marianne’s hand on their face brought them back to the present. She ran a thumb over their cheekbone as she turned their head back toward her. “Hey. It’s just a visit. I came to tell you immediately so I could ask you to come along.”
“To Dublin?” Why would Marianne want Joey along for the ride as she started to rebuild her life?
“Yes.” Marianne’s gaze never left their face. “Remember that haircut I promised you? And I thought we could go visit some of my restauranteur friends and tout for business for you.”
They couldn’t see a way out of it, but the thought of observing Marianne as she reintegrated into her old life made their chest ache. “I don’t know. Dublin would be a long way to deliver.”
Marianne frowned. “You could do a trip once a week. And you’ll be able to charge higher prices to make it worth your while. Come on, Joey. If you’re serious about not selling to a wholesaler, you need to find a stopgap for a couple of years while your oyster beds develop. I want to help.”
Joey put a hand over Marianne’s on their shoulder and squeezed. “Thank you for thinking of me. When do you leave?”
“Monday morning, and I need to be back for evening service Thursday.” When her expression had brightened, Joey knew they would do anything she asked.
“If you can wait until I’ve done the island deliveries and we go via the city on the way, I can drive you there. Donal and Liam can hold the fort here.”
“Ooh, wonderful. A road trip. Denny will be so happy you’re coming with us.”
It seemed to Joey an odd thing to say when the whole point of the trip was to reunite Denny with his real family.
“I’ve got a fisher friend in Howth I can ask to stay with. We can talk equipment.”
Marianne’s forehead creased. “Only if you want to stay with them. My mother’s mansion…” she rolled her eyes, “has many rooms.”
Joey took Marianne’s hand and led her back toward the cottage, wondering how she would introduce them to her judgmental mother.
“Well? Will you stay with me?” Marianne pulled back, forcing them to stop on the deck. “I don’t know what the future holds, Joey, but for now I want to spend as much time with you as I can.”
They nodded resignedly, knowing they’d never say no to the chance to be with Marianne. “I’d love to.”
Marianne pulled them in close and their lips met. Joey wrapped their fingers in her short hair and kissed her hard, never wanting to stop.
“Hey, Joey, what are you two up to?”
When Marianne pulled back with a start, Joey turned to fix their most murderous glare on their younger brother, Liam. He grinned back evilly.
“Mari, meet Liam. He’s the youngest, so he’s a spoiled brat.”
Liam’s smile turned to charm as he held out a hand to Marianne. “ Very pleased to meet you.” They shook hands. “This old sea dog is clearly way out of their depths. If you want to move on to a more sophisticated sibling, everyone would understand.”
Marianne’s eyebrows shot up. As an only child, she most likely wasn’t used to this level of sibling banter. Before Joey could apologize, Marianne had tucked her arm around their waist and moved in close.
“I’m very happy with the O’Hara I’ve got, thank you. I doubt you could keep up.” Her own smile was equally mischievous. “And you’re really not my type.”
Joey chuckled. They shouldn’t have underestimated Marianne. She would never have survived life in the kitchen without being able to give as good as she got.
Liam laughed loudly and turned back to the cottage. “I came to tell you Dad’s ready to go for dinner.”
Joey sighed. They didn’t particularly want to drag everyone to the Waterside but there wasn’t the space in either house to cook for four, and their dad hated to eat outdoors. He said it was uncivilized.
“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Marianne looked at her watch. “I should’ve known I wouldn’t be able to get back in time.”
“It’s okay, I’ll take you. It might be a squeeze, though.”
They headed for their bedroom. “Liam, make yourself useful and get Dad in the truck.”
Marianne studied them from the doorway as they pulled off their old, ripped T-shirt and reached for a worn, but folded, denim shirt. Her pose was relaxed as her gaze raked over Joey’s body, but her foot tapped restlessly.
“You’re the boss. They should be able to manage without you.”
“It’s about appearances. It doesn’t look good if I turn up late.”
Joey ran a hand through their hair and turned to her. “Well, I’m glad you came to visit.”
Marianne’s face softened. “Me too.” She leaned in for a kiss and straightened the collar of Joey’s shirt before they reluctantly pulled away.
Their brothers had loaded their dad into the front and were crowded into the small back seat of the cab.
“Hi, Michael. How are you?” Marianne leaned into the cab and Joey’s dad gave a curt nod.
“You drive. I’ll squeeze in here with the lowlife.” Joey moved toward the back door, but Marianne pushed them aside.
“Don’t be silly. I take up less room.” She pulled herself into the tight space and the brothers shuffled up, grinning. “No fighting now, boys.”
“You have no idea.” Joey jumped in the front. “When we were kids, I always had to sit in the middle, even though I was the biggest.”
“Not the biggest anymore.” Donal’s singsong taunt reminded them of the relief they’d felt as a teenager when their brothers had finally caught up in height. “Hi, I’m Donal, the middle child and the well-adjusted one.”
Joey watched in the rearview mirror as Donal leaned across to shake Marianne’s hand and elbowed his brother in the face. They pulled out onto the dark lane.
“How are we going to get any dinner if the cook is here, messing about on the beach?” Joey’s dad turned in his seat to glare at Marianne.
Joey clenched their jaw at his rudeness.
“I’m not the only cook, Michael. Connor and the team will have everything ready when we get there.” Marianne’s upbeat response disguised the stress Joey knew she was feeling.
“Marianne’s the head chef, Dad. Her job is more about managing the kitchen than cooking your bacon and cabbage.”
“Sounds like she doesn’t pull her weight.”
Joey was glad when the short journey ended. Marianne tumbled out of the door, shouting her thanks as she crossed the car park at a sprint.
“I like her, Joey. Good work.” Donal squeezed their shoulder.
“Yeah, you’re punching there.” Liam flicked the back of their head as he exited the truck.
“She’s a bit fancy Dublin for my liking,” muttered their dad.
Joey got out of the truck as Liam helped their dad. “Oh, Da, you’re just mad ’cause Joey’s not giving you all their attention.”
“I give him plenty of bloody attention,” Joey said through gritted teeth. Their dad was never a bundle of laughs, but he really had it in for Marianne.
They followed their brothers across the car park, watching as they made him laugh with their jokes. He never laughed at anything Joey said. Feeling sorry for myself will get me nowhere . They straightened their shoulders and followed their family into the restaurant.
When the main meal had been demolished, and they were waiting for desserts, Donal cleared his throat. “We’ve both got a bit of news for you.”
Liam nodded quickly. “You go first.”
Donal elbowed him. “I was planning to. Mine’s more important, anyway.”
“Get on with it, then.” Joey couldn’t think what either of them would want to announce other than maybe they were returning home. But they’d given up on that ever happening years ago.
Donal sat up straight. “So, you know I’ve been seeing Olivia for a while now, when I’m back in port?”
He’s met a girl, and he’s never coming home. Dad will be devastated.
“She’s a Spanish girl, is she?” Their dad frowned.
“Yeah, Dad, she’s Spanish. I live in Spain." Donal scratched his chin. "Anyway. I've asked her to marry me, and she's said yes." The words came out in a rush, as though he was desperate to be rid of them.
Joey watched their dad’s reaction. His face crumpled for just a moment, then he shook his head and straightened. “Is she a good girl? Does she look after you?”
“She’s a teacher, Dad, so she’s not sitting at home waiting to feed me. But she’s good to me, and I love her.”
Joey stood and went around the table to hug him. “I’m really pleased for you, Donie. Can’t wait to meet her.” They turned to their dad. “Aren’t you pleased, Dad?”
“Will you be coming home for the wedding?” He scowled and Joey wished he could at least congratulate Donal.
“We’ve not even set a date yet, Dad.” Donal bit his nail and glanced at Joey. “But I think it’s more likely we’ll have the wedding in Olivia’s hometown.”
Liam leaned over. “But we’ll get you over for it.” He turned to Joey. “Won’t we, Joey?”
In other words, won’t I? “Of course, we’ll make a great holiday of it in the sun, Dad. It’ll be wonderful.” Their smile was baked on by this point. They hoped the last of the food would come soon so they could go home. Not that it’d be more peaceful once they got there.
Their desserts arrived, and as they ate, Donal reassured their dad he would return home often and if and when there were grandchildren, Michael wouldn’t lose out on seeing them grow up. Joey thought that was unlikely.
Donal wiped his mouth and dropped his serviette on the table. “Liam’s got something to tell you, too.” They all turned to Liam, whose eyes widened like a deer in the headlights.
“Maybe it could wait till later. I can’t top Donal’s news.” His smile was nervous, and Joey wondered how much worse the evening was going to get.
“You might as well get on with it,” their dad growled. “Are you going to tell me you’re moving to Timbuktu?”
Liam blinked. “Uh, no. The good news is I’ve been offered a captain’s position.”
“Liam, that’s wonderful. Well done.” Joey reached over and squeezed his hand.
“And the bad news?”
Joey scowled at their dad. “Dad, give him a break. You could say congratulations.”
“Nah, he’s right, Joe, there’s a downside. The job’s based in Alaska.”
“Alaska?” Joey and their dad spoke together.
“I know, I know. It’s a long way.” He pushed his empty plate aside to rest his forearms on the table. “But it’s much better paid. I’ll be at sea for months at a time, but between jobs, I’ll be able to come home for a few weeks.” He looked Joey in the eye. “I’ll be able to give you a break from the boat, so you can have proper holidays for a change.”
“I’m okay as things are, thanks.” Their brothers had left them to manage the family fishing business for nearly twenty years, and never asked if they minded. They had long ceased to think of Liam or Donal as having any involvement in the business. “I like working on the boat.”
Donal leaned forward. “We know you do, Joey. But we’re worried about you. You need a chance to get out and live your life.”
“No, I don’t.” They laughed, but it sounded hollow to their own ears. “I’ve got Dad living next door…” Donal and Liam shared a look and their dad glanced away.
“Good friends nearby.” They tipped their head toward Kasia, who was showing a family to their table. “And I’m seeing Marianne at the moment. That’s not lonely.”
“But you’ve never had a real relationship. Not just a summer fling with a celebrity chef who’s going to run back to Dublin and leave you all alone again.”
Liam wasn’t trying to be cruel. He probably had no idea of the crushing pain Joey felt in their chest at those words vocalizing their worst fears. He was just making a point.
“You need the chance to go out and meet someone who might be the person for you.”
“Like Donal has? Miles away from home? I’m happy where I am, thank you. Stop trying to manage my life.” They stood and pushed the chair back a little too aggressively. The loud noise caused Kasia to look up from what she was doing and raise her eyebrows.
“Get Dad in the truck and take him home. I’ll pay the bill and walk back. The exercise will do me good.”
They left their family sitting open-mouthed and went after Kasia, who led them out of the dining room to her office. “I can’t stay out here long, but is everything okay?”
Joey was grateful for her concern but felt a little silly now about why they’d got upset. “I just had enough of my family trying to manage my life for me. I know I’m a fuck-up. I don’t need that reinforcing.”
“Oh, Joey, I’m sure they just have your best interest at heart. What did they say?”
Joey rubbed their face. “Liam was telling me how Marianne is going to leave and break my heart. I don’t need to hear that.”
“I’m sure that’s not what he meant, and you don’t know Marianne will leave. Just try and enjoy what you’ve got.”
“I do know, though, don’t I? Mari will leave soon, and I’ll be alone.”
“Nothing’s written in stone, Joey. I never thought Tierney would stay and make her home here with me, but this place gets under your skin. Maybe Marianne will decide it’s here she belongs.”
“It’s not the same thing. This is Tierney’s family home. She belongs here; she just didn’t know it back then. Marianne’s only here because she was desperate and exhausted, and I made it easy for her. Someone like her would never settle here. It’s only a matter of time.” They stood up. “Anyway, I’m going to take a long walk with my own thoughts and enjoy the peace and quiet that I’m not gonna have when I get home.”
“Shall I take the bill off what we owe you?” Kasia asked.
“Yeah, thanks.” Joey headed for the door. “I’ll drop in to see Marianne before I go.”
Kasia laughed. “Well, if she doesn’t stay, it won’t be for lack of attention on your part.”
“I’m not sure knowing that will help.”
Joey headed for the back door to the kitchen and slipped in. “Hey, Connor, will you let Marianne know I’m here if she’s got two minutes to spare?”
He nodded as he bustled past. “Yeah, will do.”
Joey waited in the passageway and rested their head back against the wall. Liam was right. Why were they putting themself through this?
“Hey, Joey. This is a surprise.”
That was why. Because every moment spent with Marianne, every time she spoke their name, it made it worthwhile. They pushed themself away from the wall as she approached. “Hi. I’ll pick you up tonight. Save you walking home.”
“That’s very kind, but you don’t need to do that. Connor will take me.” Marianne moved in close.
It wasn’t kind, it was purely in Joey’s own interest. They hadn’t wanted to abandon their brothers the moment they returned, but they’d barely had time to explore what they’d started with Mari and the few nights of separation already had been agony. Now it was looking like Marianne might not be here much longer. “I really want to see you.” They pulled her close.
Marianne pushed them away with gentle pressure. “I can’t now.” She smiled. “But yes, take me home later.”
Joey slipped back outside and started the walk home. Liam was absolutely right. They were going to get horribly hurt some time in the near future. Until then, they would soak up the absolute joy of being with Marianne. It was too perfect.