Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
Donal was dishing up breakfast as Joey stepped in the door. They’d been hoping for a discreet return home so they could get changed before starting work, but their brothers looked up with smiles plastered across their faces.
“Did you get a good sleep, Joey?”
“Yeah, you look perky.” Liam nudged Donal and they snickered.
“Yeah, thanks.” The less they engaged, the sooner their brothers would give up. “Give me some of those sausages before I go out on the boat.”
Liam handed over a plate and they sat at the table, while Donal loaded up a dish to take next door to their dad.
“Will I come out with you today? Make sure I know the ropes before you go off gallivanting.”
Joey flicked their eyes up from their meal, knowing he was teasing, but unable to suppress the surge of irritation. “Do you know how long it is since I spent more than a night away from this island?”
He held his fork up in surrender. “It was a joke. I know how tied you are to Dad and the business.”
“Come with me, then. I’ve got a shellfish safari trip this afternoon, though, so I’ll be out all day.”
Liam stopped eating. “Will I need to run trips next week?”
“Kasia has no advance bookings, but sometimes she gets ad hoc requests and calls to see if I can take them out. It’s up to you.”
“Let me get a taste for it first and we’ll see.” He tucked back into his food.
When they got the boat out in the bay, Liam’s enthusiasm to get back into this far more intimate form of fishing meant Joey could stand back and watch. An easy morning suited them just fine. They stretched out the knots in their shoulders that had developed from lying with their arms around two bodies instead of one. The posture might not have been ideal, but they’d slept deeply until dawn. Then they’d crept out from the warm bed and left Marianne and Denny with a kiss on their cheeks. I could get used to that life. The lovemaking with Marianne had been as intense as before. They loved how accepted and desired Marianne made them feel. They’d never imagined they could have such a connection with anyone.
“Joey.”
They blinked and focused on Liam.
“I could literally have gone overboard then, and you wouldn’t have noticed.” He was at the wheel with an expectant look on his face.
“What?”
“Where. Are. We. Going. Next.”
They took the wheel. “Just over there. Surely you can see the buoy.”
They were annoyed with themself for allowing their thoughts to drift back to Marianne so easily, but happy to take it out on their youngest sibling.
“Ah, yeah, of course. Silly me.”
As he pulled up the next creel and carefully extracted their catch, Liam turned. “Joking aside, I’m loving this, you know. It’s what it should be all about. Fishing carefully and sustainably. You respect the ocean. What I do is the opposite of that.”
Joey had their opinions about trawlers and mass production ships that caught, processed, and froze their catch at sea, staying out for weeks or months on end. The volume of fish caught was staggering. But was it sustainable? Of course not. But it wasn’t their place to judge how other people made a living.
“You do what you need to earn a wage. It’s not your job to police the fishing regulations.”
Liam baited the pot and lowered it back to the sea floor. “But it doesn’t feel real like this does.”
Joey shrugged as they moved on to the next creel. “Then come home. We’ll buy another boat and widen our market. And I’ve started a long-term project to extend the oyster beds. They’re definitely worth the investment if you’ve got the time to do the work. There are so many options.” They knew Liam would never move home, but sometimes they got so frustrated by the opportunities that passed them by without anyone else to work with them.
“Ahh, I’d love to be back. It’s been great craic this last week, catching up with the lads and revisiting all our old stomping grounds.” He looked back across to where the bulk of Inishderry sat on the horizon. “But Alaska, you know?” He turned back to Joey and held out his hands. “I’m getting to see the world.”
Joey was filled with love for their little brother and pulled him close with a crunching hug he returned with equal enthusiasm. His attempt to lift them from the deck resulted in them scuffling for a few moments, until Joey remembered they were in an environment filled with hooks and knives. They caught their breath and stood laughing.
“Do what you’ve got to do, little brother. We’ll always be here when you come home.”
Liam leaned out toward the island. “Will you, do you think? You’ll never leave? Even just for a while.”
Joey busied themself with a rope. “Why would I? Everything I’ve ever needed is here.”
“Everything?” Liam turned and sat on a bench. “I always thought you enjoyed the solitude. What I would call being lonely as fuck. But being in a relationship has lit you up, Joey. Me and Donal are worried about you when the summer’s over.”
“The summer ends every year, Liam. I cope.”
Liam went to the wheelhouse and started up the engine. They’d never been good at the deep conversations, any of them. Not since their mum had died, anyway.
Joey followed him into the wheelhouse. “I’ll be fine, Liam. Please don’t worry about me. I’ve got Dad, and there’s a whole community of friends here over the winter. There’s Kasia and Tierney, Doc Scott on the mainland, Aoife and Seán. I have plenty of friends.”
He turned, concern etched across his forehead. “But are friends enough for you?”
It was a good question. They always had been before. The conversation was starting to bring out their anxieties about Marianne leaving. They wanted to put their head in the sand and hope everything would be okay. But that wasn’t in their nature.
“I hope so, Liam, I really do.”
Joey added Marianne’s luggage to the back of the truck alongside the small bag containing their minimal requirements.
“Sorry, it’s all Denny’s stuff, you know?”
Joey suspected quite a lot of it would be Marianne’s clothes, packed to ensure she made the right impact on her city contacts.
“There’s plenty of space in the van on the mainland. It’s all good.”
Marianne came around the truck and tucked her hands into Joey’s back pockets, shifting their hips close to her. “I’m so pleased you’re coming with us.” Her eyes shone and Joey dipped in for a taste of her lips. Marianne responded and pulled them even closer.
They broke away. “Denny’s in the cab.”
Marianne leaned into their chest and laughed. “I don’t know what it is about your truck that gets me so horny.” She stood back. “Let’s get this over with.”
When they got off the ferry, Joey loaded the trays of lobsters headed for Galway into the refrigerated van. Then they moved the bags, and Denny’s toys.
Denny was beside himself when he realized he would be sitting on the front seat between Joey and his mum.
“Denny driving.”
“Yes, you are, sweatpea.” Marianne pulled on her seatbelt. “This van is much more comfortable than your island truck.”
“It’s new. I only got it a couple of years ago.” When I had a moment of ambition to expand the business and deliver nationally. But then the Waterside had relaunched, and Joey had got plenty of business from there. Alongside Batiya, that had been enough. “It’ll be useful for the extra oyster deliveries in a few years.”
After their detour to Galway, they got on the road to Dublin and Joey enjoyed listening to the constant flow of conversation between Denny, who had questions about everything he saw, and Marianne.
Marianne reached behind Denny and squeezed Joey’s arm. “I can’t believe how much his speech has come along.”
“Will Amira see a big difference in him, do you think?” They couldn’t help asking, even if they didn’t want to think about it.
“Oh, God, yes. He wasn’t speaking at all before we came to Inishderry.”
“Not even ‘boat’?” Joey flashed a grin at Denny.
“Joey boat?” Denny looked at Marianne expectantly.
“Not today, sweetpea. We’re going to see Granny and Mummy and Nana, remember?”
“Mummy?” Denny screwed his nose up.
“Tomorrow, Mummy’s going to have a big party for you, and you’ll have a wonderful time.”
“Denny eat cake and chocolate?”
“Yes, sweetie, lots of cake.”
A small, very sticky hand rested on Joey’s arm. “Joey eat cake?”
They flashed a glance at Marianne, who blinked and scrunched her nose in a very similar way to her child.
“I can’t come with you to your mummy’s house but after, we’ll all have cake together, okay?”
Denny’s dark eyebrows drew together. “Want cake with Joey.”
Marianne took his hand and wiped it with a cloth. “If you’re a good boy while we’re away, when we go home, we’ll eat cake on Joey’s boat, okay?”
Joey half paid attention as Marianne continued to chat to Denny, her voice getting lower and more hypnotic. The other half of their brain was asking how they’d got into this position where they resented Denny was spending his birthday with his own family, instead of an adult he’d known for a few short months. But it did hurt. Whether it was appropriate or not, they’d developed a bond with Denny that felt real. Their feelings for his mum were a whole other problem. She’d just described Inishderry as home. Did she really think of it that way? They jumped when Marianne’s cool hand touched their arm, a damp cloth wiping off the sticky fingerprints.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have given him those berries.”
Denny’s head was lolling against the side of his car seat. Marianne placed the cloth on the dashboard. “At least we’ll get some peace for a while, now. The motion of a car always settles him.”
Joey kept their eyes on the road. “And how do you feel now about seeing Amira and her family?”
“It’s starting to feel a little real.” Marianne let out a long breath. “But I need to make it work, Joey. For Denny’s sake.”
They reached across Denny and squeezed her leg. There were some benefits to long arms. “You’ll find a way through this and give Denny the best childhood. You can do anything you put your mind to.”
She ran patterns around the back of their hand and entwined their fingers. Joey basked in the contact and wondered how long they could stay like that before a gear change was needed.
“Your confidence in me means a lot. I was wallowing in self-doubt and pity when I came to Inishderry. I didn’t know what I wanted or what I needed, but there you were, quietly coming to my rescue again and again. You’ve turned everything around. I’ll never…be able to thank you enough.” Marianne’s fingers tightened, but Joey couldn’t help turning that slight pause around and around in their head as they drove east. Had Marianne been about to say she’d never forget them? Is that how they’d end up? A pleasant memory from a disruptive time in her life. They blinked as the road ahead blurred, then shook their head. They couldn’t allow their thoughts to go there. Marianne needed them here and now.
“Are you okay?” Marianne was watching them.
“Yeah, of course.” Joey reluctantly pulled their hand free and fiddled with the car stereo until they found a news station. Anything to distract them from thinking about Marianne leaving. But here they were, driving her back to her past. And if Joey was realistic, most likely her future.