Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
“Denny, say hi to Granny.” Marianne stood on the doorstep and wished Denny was in her arms to reintroduce him to her mother. But when she’d taken him from Joey, still sleepy from the journey, he’d squealed and held tight. She’d decided her mother would be more annoyed by a howling grandchild than by seeing him in the arms of a stranger.
Joey lowered him to the ground and directed him toward where her mother waited with pursed lips. Denny screamed and slipped behind Joey’s legs, hiding his face.
“It’s to be expected. I’m a stranger to the child now.” Her mother folded her arms.
It would help if you didn’t look so terrifying. “Denny, come here, sweetpea.” Marianne coaxed him out from behind Joey’s legs and lifted him. “You remember your granny, don’t you?”
“Gwanny.” Denny held out a hand hesitantly and she resisted the urge to cover him in kisses. When she shot Joey a look of relief, they winked.
Her mother’s face softened, and she took his little hand. “Welcome, Deniz. I haven’t seen you for such a long time.”
Guilt burned in Marianne’s throat. Her self-exile had come at a cost to others, and she hadn’t cared enough. Denny relaxed in her arms, so she passed him over and released her breath when he put his arms around his granny.
“I’m sorry, Mum.”
Her mother turned away into the house with Denny. “You’re here now.”
Joey lifted their multiple bags and followed her into the cavernous hallway, looking around with wide eyes. “This is…fancy.”
Marianne wondered what they really thought. They’d only traveled for a few hours, but they were a world away from the cottage on the stony beach.
“My mum does like to make an impression.” She took the bags from Joey and pushed them into a corner. “We’ll take those upstairs later.” She took Joey’s hand and squeezed as they followed into the drawing room where her mum liked to entertain guests. It was full of breakage hazards for a two-year-old, so she wasn’t planning to relax anytime soon.
Her mum’s long-suffering domestic help, Mary, pulled the door wide open. “Welcome, Marianne. It’s been a while.”
Marianne pulled her into a hug and ignored the look of disapproval her mum cast over her shoulder. “It’s lovely to see you, Mary. I hope Mum isn’t being too high maintenance.” Her mum liked to play up the fact she had a paid employee and referred to poor Mary as “the staff.” But the reality was a kind of symbiotic relationship. Mary got to live in comfortable quarters rent free, and Kathleen Browne got a carer, cleaner, confidante, and friend. Somehow, it worked for them both.
“Kathleen has been so excited to see little Denny once again.” There was no censure in Mary’s soft voice, but Marianne felt another jab of guilt.
“Mum, before you get too carried away with Denny, this is Joey.” Marianne pulled Joey inside the drawing room.
Joey crowded into the overly ornate room with its delicate furniture. They stepped forward and held out a hand. “How are you, Mrs. Browne? It’s good to meet you.”
Her mum turned and looked Joey up and down. “So, you’re Joey.” She shook their hand, still watching them with a crease on her brow.
Marianne appreciated that if she wasn’t sure what to say, she’d gone with the minimum.
“Have a seat, Joey.” She indicated a couch, knocked off-kilter by how clearly Joey didn’t fit into this place where, even though she wouldn’t have chosen it, she had grown up.
Joey sat with their limbs pulled together, looking uncomfortable.
“I’ll get us some tea.” She turned toward the door.
“Don’t be silly, darling. Mary will bring it in now.” Her mother indicated where Mary had appeared at the door with a tray piled with bone china teacups and saucers.
“Thanks, Mary.” Knowing Mary enjoyed her role didn’t make Marianne any less uncomfortable with being served in her mother’s house.
“Will you come with me to the party tomorrow, Mum? Joey’s going to drive us there.”
“I’d rather not.”
Marianne had always wished her mum would make more effort with Amira’s family, but she’d never hidden her disapproval.
“It’s Denny’s birthday, so it would be nice if you came with us.”
“Can we not have our own party today?” Her mother fussed with her tea, and the clinking of the spoon on the crockery made Marianne clench her jaw.
“Well, Amira and her mum want to have Denny for a sleepover, so I’m taking him there this evening.” She poured a cup for Joey and watched as the cup all but disappeared inside their large fist. “But I won’t be far if anything changes.”
“So, the in-laws get priority, even though Amira has made no effort to see Deniz for months?”
“Please don’t speak like that in front of Denny, Mum.” Denny picked at the pearls hanging around her mother’s neck, thankfully oblivious to the conversation. “Let’s make the most of our time now.” Marianne stirred milk into her own tea and hoped the conversation would be over.
“Down.” Denny wriggled until her mum let him down to the floor where he made a beeline for Joey. They glanced at Mari and then scooped him up onto their lap. He settled there with his arms wrapped around their larger one.
Her mum frowned. “He doesn’t appear to be suffering from the absence of his other mother.”
“He’s happy, Mum. He feels safe and loved, and whatever else is going on isn’t his problem.”
“I just hope he settles with Amira and her family or tomorrow will be a long day.”
Marianne rubbed her eyes. She suspected it was going to be a long day, anyway. The biggest part of her wished she was alone with Joey and Denny, back on Inishderry.
“Thanks for waiting.” Marianne stretched her arms above her head in the confines of the van. Her shoulders crunched with the stress of the day.
“How did it go?” Joey glanced at her before pulling out into traffic.
“It wasn’t too bad. Amira’s mother was as passive-aggressive as ever. Denny was happy to see them both, which helped. Or happy to see the cake for tomorrow at least.”
“Well, he’s with his mummy now, so you can focus on visiting your friends.”
She placed her hand on Joey’s hard thigh, needing the contact to ground her. “They were always business acquaintances more than friends. But good contacts for you. I’m going to try to fit in a meeting with Imelda before I leave. I want to look at all my options.”
Joey stroked the back of her hand, and she felt it everywhere. “It’s supposed to be a party. Can’t you put aside career plans until tomorrow? I’m looking forward to a fun evening out with you. It’s our first date away from Inishderry.”
“I know, and I’m looking forward to showing you off. But not one of those people got in touch after the business folded. It’s made me reassess things.”
“And if any of them had been in a similar situation, would you have checked in?”
That was a good question. She’d never stopped to evaluate her relationships before this. She’d had friends in the food industry since she’d started out, and she’d taken them at face value. When she’d moved to Galway, she’d been disappointed to hear little from her big city friends, but she’d put it down to them being as busy as she was.
“I don’t know. But I am looking forward to catching up. It’s so difficult for chefs to socialize with the hours we work.”
Joey pulled into the car park indicated by the GPS, and they got out. “Where are we going? Don’t we need to go home to get ready?”
“Soon, but I want to take you somewhere first.” She was looking forward to seeing Joey’s reaction.
They turned a corner, and she led Joey by the hand to a shop front covered in graffiti. Joey’s eyebrows drew together as they turned to her.
“This is the barbershop I told you about. You’ll love it. I made an appointment with Mac. They’re non-binary too.” She faded off when the frown didn’t leave Joey’s face and they ran a hand through their hair.
“I thought you’d be pleased. I promised you a haircut.” She was confused by Joey’s lack of enthusiasm.
Joey smiled, but it didn’t reach their eyes. “Yeah, thank you.”
She squeezed their hand. “Are you sure? You don’t look very happy.”
Joey shrugged their shoulders and stood a little straighter, squeezing her hand in return. Their smile widened. “No, of course I’m happy. Is the appointment right now?”
She checked her watch. They were right on time. “Yes, go on in and ask for Mac. I’ll wait in there.” She indicated a coffee shop on the opposite corner. “I’ll catch up on my social posts.”
Joey kissed her cheek and took the steps to the shop in long strides. She watched them go and then went to get a coffee, wondering what had happened to change Joey’s mind about the haircut. She got completely engrossed in editing together some recent clips that it felt like only minutes before a quiet cough made her look up.
Joey had their hands stuffed into their jeans pockets, and their eyebrows pulled together. Marianne got up for a closer look. Mac had shaped and softened their bangs and the rest looked as silky soft as Marianne knew it was. It hung perfectly straight to their square jawline. It was still unmistakably Joey’s hairstyle but a version more suited to the streets of Dublin than the wild Atlantic Ocean. Marianne smiled and ran her fingers through it. “You look mighty fine.”
Joey rolled their eyes. “It’s not that different.”
“No. But you weren’t looking for a new style. It’s just a little smarter.” She pulled them into a seat. “Did you enjoy the experience?”
Joey pulled the bowl of sugar sachets across the table and started to rearrange them.
What’s going on? “Joey.” She rubbed their knuckles. “Talk to me, please.”
Joey kept their eyes on the sugar bowl. “The barbershop was fine. Everyone introduces themselves with their pronouns, and there were no assumptions made. It was refreshing.”
“But?”
They looked up. “Did you arrange it because you’re embarrassed to introduce me to your friends tonight?” They blinked. “Because I look like I do?”
“What? No, of course not, Joey. I wanted you to have a positive experience of getting your hair cut. So you know it doesn’t always have to be so stressful.”
“Of course. I’m sorry. Let’s go and get ready for the evening.” Joey finally gave a smile of sorts and stood. Marianne followed, a knot twisting in her stomach. How had her gesture been so misunderstood? Had there been a small part of her that had planned it this way so Joey would look more groomed to meet her friends? The shirt Joey would be wearing tonight was a gift, too. Was she trying to change them to fit her city life?
She was still mulling it over as Joey drove them to the party. “Are you okay? You do want to go, don’t you?”
Joey squeezed her fingers. “Of course. It’s your welcome home party. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” They stopped for a red light and turned, lifting her hand to their lips. “And I’m sorry for what I said earlier. You did a nice thing, and I made it weird.”
Marianne pulled her hand free of Joey’s kisses and stroked their jaw. Her heart clenched at how gorgeous they looked with their new shirt buttoned up and their shiny hair still salon fresh.
“You never make anything weird. I should’ve given you some notice, I’m sorry.” She kissed Joey. Everything felt better when they kissed. She pulled away as the light turned to green and she leaned back in her seat.
She was nervous about this evening. Not just for Joey, but many of these people she hadn’t seen since she’d left Dublin four years ago, when she’d been at the top of her game, respected and admired as one of the top chefs in the country. What had happened this year had left her feeling bruised and vulnerable. She didn’t doubt her skills in the kitchen, she was still one of the best, but would people believe in her like Joey did?