12. Bay
TWELVE
bay
I wish I could take credit for most of this, but Levi was the one who chose and organized Dad’s funeral arrangements.
From the casket to the flowers, right down to the songs that would be playing during the viewing—a mix of 70s bands that didn’t make it any less depressing—Ellie, Mae, and I have been zombies.
They cried for hours as I held each of their hands in mine while we sat at the funeral parlor for God knows how long. Folks came and tried to pay their respects, but they took the hint we weren’t doing well.
Nothing was going to make this right or better. We lost someone who loved us all dearly, and I’m the lucky one. I got to spend the most time with him. Ellie has barely gotten to pull the whole teenager, I-know-everything bullshit, and Mae…she’ll start to lose memories of him as time goes by.
And we’ll all start to forget the sound of his voice.
Levi has been acting as a guard dog and personal bodyguard. He hasn’t left our sides once. Every bathroom break, he’s outside silently waiting and guiding us back to our seats. He has one of his boys grab water, snacks, and small things for us to eat. Only one person or group at a time could speak to us—or try—and I did my best to show my appreciation to the town who helped Dad raise me and always had our back.
We would be watched and handled with care in this town. The one we plan on leaving, and I felt guilty as each person stood up and spoke of fond memories with Dad, each one making a promise that they would look out for us but always sending small glances at Levi because they know it’s covered.
At Levi’s request, no one came with us to the cemetery. I appreciated the peace and fucking quiet for once without a million people staring at us.
Especially when we watch the cemetery workers lower Dad’s casket six feet deep, and I finally lose it.
Levi stands behind me in silent comfort, while my two sisters sob and whimper. His warmth, which I feel wrapping around me and radiating at my spine, didn’t change this.
There are no takebacks.
We’re lost to the world alone, with only each other, and there’s no bringing our once-formed family back.
He’s gone.
Forever.
And that word holds so much despair and conviction that it’s cruel to think we’ll never see him again.
“Wallace.”
I sense Levi move away from me at the sharp clip of one of his men’s tones, but I ignore it.
Or tried.
That was the intention, obviously.
But the dude’s next words send an ice-cold chill through my veins.
“Wildes is here.”
The fuck?
“This is a cute scene. However, I don’t think my cousin will like it.”
Dread floods my chest at a rapid pace before Hot Rod and Juice step in front of us, guarding and watching silently, as I contemplate what to do and how to keep Ellie and Mae from dealing with any more bullshit today.
“Mae, do you wanna go get some ice cream with me?” Juice asks softly, holding out his hand in more of an order for her to go with him.
She bobs her head but doesn’t utter a word, and I squeeze Ellie’s hand to please go with her.
“Why don’t you go?—”
“I’m staying here,” she whispers back as Levi barks out something I don’t pick up on. “I don’t wanna leave?—”
“Let Levi take care of this.” She’s old enough to understand. She needs to know we’re not safe here anymore.
We never were.
Ellie loosens her grip on my hand and follows our youngest sister and Juice. I watch them walk up toward his Black Impala and climb inside before I’m able to breathe again.
“How badly do you want him hurt?” Hot Rod mutters above me, gaining my immediate attention.
I can’t say a single thing about it.
I can’t move.
I just buried my father, and Torin wants to show up like a bat out of hell to make it worse.
Why wouldn’t he? He hates me. Despises what I did.
“Levi is going to fuck him up, Bay,” Rod puts forth more urgently. “If you want?—”
“Please stop him,” I exhort, clenching my fingers into tight balls. “I can’t?—”
“Say another fucking word,” Levi barks out then, causing my whole body to grow taut at the fury brewing in his tone. “And your father is gonna be down to only one kid.”
“Relax, Wallace,” Torin drawls too casually.
He’s drunk.
I know he is.
Torin speaks in this haughty, confident tone, and that’s not what he’s projecting now. It’s the loss of Judah that’s making him act a fool out here, through slightly slurred words, and he’s going to get himself killed.
“Stay right here,” Rod says, placing a soft palm on my bicep before stepping around me and going to help with the problem.
But it’s not until I hear Rod’s growl of commands that I whip around to face him. “You’re not going by her, fucker.”
Torin pushes at Hot Rod’s arm that’s currently out to block me, but Levi is the one who snatches the back of Pretty Boy’s shirt and yanks him backward.
He stumbles a bit, not on his game at all, when Levi gets in his face.
“You’re not going near her,” my best friend snarls, putting some distance between us and stepping in the middle. “I’ll kill you , bitch.”
Torin chuckles, but there’s no pleasure or exuberance behind it. It’s cold and void of anything that intrigued me before. “My bad, Wallace. I forgot she was your girl. You must really be in your feelings about her marrying my cousin.”
Levi’s fingers ball into fists at his side, but he doesn’t move.
“Does it bother you that I fucked her, too?” Torin taunts, inching closer to my best friend. “That she moaned my name when she was about to come? Fuck me, that sound…” He shakes his head and glides the pad of his finger along his bottom lip. “I’d kill someone to hear that sound.”
“Good for you,” Levi deadpans then points onward. “Get the fuck out.”
“I want her,” Torin continues, not heeding my best friend’s impending temper that’s about to snap. “Isn’t that fucked? But I can’t get enough of her body and all the things I want to do to her for murdering my brother.”
“That’s too bad.”
Torin scoffs then slices those tawny browns to me.
And I can’t explain the way I feel.
All I can do is express how much I used to love how he looked at me. How he sought me out and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I was intrigued by how adamant he was, even though half the time, it was annoying.
But I can’t deny the gravitation between him and I.
Torin and I have always had this pull. Even when he stares at me with nothing in his eyes, I still care about him.
I think I’ll irritatingly always care about him.
“You’ve gotta go,” I’m finally able to get out. Because if Torin lets this go on for too long, Levi is going to unleash. And he’s got enough pent-up anger right now to fill up the whole town.
He continues to look at me intently, and I see the glimmer of anguish in his eyes. The sorrow that’s embedded in those light honey eyes. There may be video evidence he’s seen of me being at the scene, but he has to know.
Why would I kill Judah?
There’s no rhyme or reason. And Torin has to know that. He has to be aware, deep inside, that I don’t randomly kill people.
“Whatever you want, Wildfire,” I hear him mutter before he shocks the shit out of me and pivots, trudging up the grassy knoll toward the cemetery’s small road.
What the fuck was that?
Levi doesn’t waste any time acknowledging what happened, and I can’t help but be grateful for that.
He extends an arm, and I step in stride with him as we leave Dad behind.
I dare not look back.
I can’t.
My main focus is looking forward and trudging toward the semi-laid-out plan Levi and I are striving toward.
There’s nothing left for us here.
South Shore is a grave I just buried Dad in. It holds no solace anymore.