13. Bay
THIRTEEN
bay
The sharp squealing of tires fills the air as Levi hands over another cold beer and sits next to me on the top of the hood of his classic Malibu.
With his leg propped on the front bumper, we take in the space together. Everyone from South Shore is out tonight in honor of Dad’s passing.
It’s overwhelming.
We didn’t need to buy food because everyone chipped in and insisted on doing so. I can tell Levi was relieved, one less thing to plan, because he barely let me do anything in the first place.
There’s a burnout contest happening on the dead-end street. People cheer the drivers on, and others dance by the DJ booth. Ellie and Mae are surrounded by every single mom in the vicinity, but they don’t seem to mind it.
One of Ellie’s friends is scooted up to her as they talk and eat. Ellie smiles at whatever she’s saying, which keeps my anxiety down a tad.
My sister isn’t going to want to leave her friends behind. Her whole life.
I’m going to have my hands full with breaking the news to her as well as her reaction.
No matter how perfect this get-together is and how much Dad would’ve loved it, it doesn’t hold the same vibe without him.
Not for me, anyway.
He always enjoyed block parties and conversing with everyone. He was part of this town. He had a deep fondness for South Shore.
And I can’t believe we’re about to leave it behind.
“You wanna talk?”
I don’t look over at Levi because what’s the damn point? The last thing I want to do is talk about Torin, how we’re going to tell the girls about our plan of action, or how I’m feeling.
The latter is a moot point.
Torin is a means to an end.
The girls are obviously the most important.
“About what?” I ask, cocking my beer back again and swallowing more than a quarter of its contents.
“Whatever you want.”
I shrug because he doesn’t have to do this for me. The only thing I require is that he’s here.
Everything else, I’ll sort out and work through in time.
“When do you wanna talk to Ellie and Mae?”
Levi flicks the filter of his cigarette to remove the ash from the end. I’ve rarely seen him smoke anything but weed, so I know how upset and concerned he is without having to say the words. “I don’t think there’s a good time. However, I think maybe we should sit on it until we’re ready.”
“Why?”
“Ellie might get ideas,” he vouches. “And we don’t need the extra stress.”
Truth.
“How much do we need?”
“Perfect world?” Levi takes a drag from his cig, then exhales the smoke while saying, “I’d love fifty grand. That’d last us a while.”
“How are we gonna get fifty grand in a small amount of time?”
“Real talk?” I inwardly groan because that verbiage alludes that I’m not going to be a fan of the answer. “I got a guy who wants me to run some meth for him. Twenty grand out the door.”
I begin to shake my head, but where else are we going to get that amount of money the legal way?
We won’t.
I already told Levi I don’t want us to be reckless, but the longer we’re here, the more shit that might happen.
“I’d say I’d go with you,” I mutter. “However, someone needs to be on the outside.”
“And that’d be you.”
No shit.
I slide off the hood of his car and get to my feet. “I’m going to get another beer.”
“Get something to eat while you’re at it,” he says as I begin to walk away.
I won’t.
I just need a minute alone to gather up some free oxygen. To not be in the presence of someone or something.
Today was a bitch. It’s only going to get harder. No amount of time is ever going to wipe away the grief or the empty loss of my father.
Not Emilio.
Roger.
Dad.
“Bay!” I glance over my shoulder, finding Kyle, one of Levi’s buddies, jogging over to me with an uneven pattern of breathing. His long dark hair is pulled back in a man bun as he stops on a dime at my side and immediately begins panting. “Reeve Stanton…is stumbling around here like he fuckin’ forgot where home was. He just got into it with one of our dudes.”
Several things happen at once.
First, butterflies scurry and bump into each other in my gut before they’re shot down, one by one. Then, a shred of dread fills my veins and empties out into the vital organ because of what happened. Memories of how he begged me to not marry Ramsey and that he’d take care of everything.
I rejected that help.
I pretty much, in so many words, told him to go fuck himself.
There’s no way I’m ever going to be able to erase the look on his face when I annihilated what he wanted to do for me. I murdered him in that moment. I shoved everything we ever said or did and hinted he wasn’t good enough to do the job.
“Where?”
Kyle isn’t so quick to give me an answer at the pace I require when I glower at him.
“Last time I saw him, he was by the DJ—” I don’t wait for him to say anything else, my feet carrying me over to the area.
My pulse slams viciously with each step. My breathing stutters as my eyes skip around to each person, looking for sandy blonde hair and the surfer boy vibes that made me weak in the knees with just one glance.
“Lil Freak” by Usher booms from the speakers surrounding a patch of grass and the makeshift dance floor people have made.
Along the street, cars are still scorching rubber onto the hot cement, heating up their tires to make a good run as the throng bumps and grinds against each other along the sidelines.
I make another sweep before I land on my target.
The reason I left my guys behind.
The reason why my body begs to see him.
The reason my heart is still lying in pieces in my chest.
But it’s not just my target.
No, it’s a Reeve sandwich.
Two blondes are on either side of him, one with her arms wrapped around his neck, her lips melded and locked with his. The other with her skanky little paws snaked around his hips and…rubbing at his cock.
Red .
If that’s even described as a feeling. That, and how some of those pieces of my heart disintegrate into nothing.
Reeve opens his mouth wider to shove his tongue down bitch number one’s throat. A handful of beach blonde hair gripped possessively in his palm.
They continue to grind to the music as bitch number two decides she wants attention, stroking him faster, to where Reeve recognizes it and pivots, replacing bitch number one with her.
Their mouths find each other immediately before Reeve bends over and picks her up, almost losing his balance for a second while she laughs at his mishap. He seeks her lips again, and she gladly offers, as they practically dry hump without a care in the world about putting on a show.
They’re practically fucking, as far as I’m concerned.
And I’ve had enough.
Glimpsing over my shoulder, I instantly locate two of Levi’s dudes, Shorty and Dino. They’re watching me like they were told to do it, and I know it’s Levi’s order.
And currently, it’s only working in my favor.
Jerking my head, they promptly move to me like I’m their leader and I could tell them to sit, stay, and lie down.
When they get to my side, I don’t even bother glimpsing at what Reeve is doing now. I just throw out my orders like I have a right.
“Get rid of the blondes.”
I apparently don’t have to give them any more explanation because they move in.
I inhale as deeply and smoothly as I can because I’m about to face off with Reevie.
I can feel that shit.
The loud protests of female voices take a grip on my attention as they’re being dragged away from the man who’s never going to do that in front of me again.
Ever.
Especially in my fucking town.
I’m met with furious hazel eyes when I zone in on Reeve. Beautiful, flawless storms of greens and browns.
Ones I miss terribly.
Reeve is already stomping his ass in my direction, piqued with resentment by my intercepting his fun.
Too fucking bad.
He should’ve stayed in The Landings and threw his own fucking party if he wanted to fuck a bunch of bitches he didn’t know.
“You got married.” It’s the first thing he says to me as he stops within a foot of my body and glowers down at me like I’ve just ruined his whole life.
Maybe for tonight.
Regardless, I still don’t fucking care.
“And you’re in South Shore actin’ a fool,” I snap back, fixing my glower against his sterling glint of hatred. “What did you think was going to happen?”
His eyes narrow. “So you took my entertainment away?”
“I took the STDs away.”
His hard chest promptly bumps into mine, and he’s in my face within seconds, smelling of weed and a lot of alcohol. “You got married .”
Motherfuck…
I swallow down that reality for the millionth time since it happened.
However, I’m not going to allow it to soften what the hell he thought was going to go down.
“I did,” I agree. “But?—”
“You got married,” he repeats for the third time. “And not only did you get married, McQueen, but you got married to my fuckin’ brother .”
Well, it didn’t start out that way…
“Ozzy—”
“Don’t say his fuckin’ name around me,” he leers, spitting on me slightly from the way he literally spat it out.
His hazel eyes are dark pools of shit I can’t make out besides being upset. He’s drunk and high, but with the things spinning around in his head, I thought maybe my being with Ozzy would soften the blow a little bit. Except, maybe they’re not close or even like each other.
“How is it?” he presses, shifting his weight and licking his bottom lip. Strands of blonde hair cover half of his eyes, and gone is that mellowed-out aura that always wafts around him. “What’s it like to be married to the fuckin’ mute? The crazy motherfucker who kills with just the drop of a word. You know he’s Emilio’s pet, right?”
No.
I open my mouth to come back with something, but no sentences form other than I miss him.
I miss the way he used to look at me. I was falling in love with him, and I fucked our relationship up to save the one with my family. I had to assassinate what was forming between us because I couldn’t have both.
“Just so you know, baby,”—he drops his voice, the sheer depths of it brushing over the front of my body like how he used to do when he was inside me. When he was so enthralled by kissing and driving recklessly into me—“that night I was in your house to off your dad…that wasn’t Cairo there with me. It was your new husband. You pointed that shotgun right at his chest and pulled the fucking trigger.”
I mindlessly shake my head in denial against his accusation. But it only illuminates a sinister smile to grace Reeve’s beautiful features to confirm its ugly truth.
He hates me. Reeve has every right. But I didn’t do it for selfish reasons.
Fuck, I didn’t want to do it at all.
“Oh, yeah.” A jovial chuckle rumbles from his throat, and I don’t recognize him at all. The warning he threw out at me, holding tried and true to his actions. “The motherfucker has been around you longer than I have.”
My body graces me with a small shiver, alluding to my previous comment about how everything with Ozzy was way too good to be true. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
His face twists as if that was ever owed to me. “Because I keep my word. My promises. I don’t chicken out when times get rough. I took the heat for his bullshit. I didn’t go run off and fuck some other bitch because you were some South Shore slut.”
I hate how my body reacts with hot tears searing the backs of my eyes. That he’s distressed and I’m the one who caused it.
I deserve all his words and more. He begged me not to go along with my brilliant plan, but I shoved it in his face.
“Reevie—”
“Bitch, don’t ever fuckin’ call me that again, or I’ll kill you.” I’ve never heard his voice so disgusted before, not even with Vivian. He keeps his eyes securely locked with mine, freezing me to my spot when he lowers his head only inches from my lips. I feel the blanket of heat from his body as his words drape over me uncomfortably until I feel like I can’t breathe. “I might not spill your blood, but I’ll make you bleed out from the inside. Torin may just put a bullet in your head, but not before I make you watch me fuck several girls while your heart shatters.” He looks down between us. “That’s if you even fucking have one. I’ll come inside them and hold your stare when I do. To show you that you mean nothing to me anymore. That magic wore off the moment you signed that marriage certificate. You became like every other selfish little whore who ever crossed my path.”
“ Stop ,” I chide, digging my nails into my palms to keep my voice steady. “I get it, you’re mad. You love me, and I?—”
“Eh, I didn’t love you.“ He takes a step back like it’s nothing while my body gravitates toward his to get closer again. “I loved fucking you. I see that now.” Bobbing his head, as if confirming that fact as a sharp pain forms in my gut. “Honestly…it’s not that big of a deal. However, I’ll keep in mind where I party so that your goons can’t take away the two chicks I was going to bone tonight.” He slaps my shoulder like I’m one of his buddies. “But don’t worry, there’s plenty more where that came from. And I’m not particularly picky. I swing both ways, so any chick or dude will do just fine to get me off a few times a night.”
“Don’t be like that.” My jaw trembles with each word, searching for a morsel of the dude I fell in love with.
But I don’t find him anywhere. Even when he’s right in front of me, he’s gone.
“Be like what?” He cocks his head to the side before something crosses over his features like an epiphany just hit him. “Ahh…I see.” I’m not sure what he sees, but he’s quick to fill me in. “Ozzy’s not gonna touch you.” He tsks as if that’s a pity. “Bad move, little McQueen. You’re not gonna get any dick.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Torin’s out of the picture, for sure.” He continues as if I said nothing, scanning the party behind me. “Cairo, he won’t fuck you because he’s smarter than all of us.” His hazels swing back to me. “I guess that leaves me.”
“We can work through this.” At first, I’m not sure if my muttered words even make it to his ears but realize they did because he hits me back with more revulsion.
“Relax,” he coos softly, but not offering any comfort. “You can detach easily enough, and so can I, baby. Plus, I never had a problem making you come before. I mean…I’m not sure how Ozzy would enjoy me fucking his wife, but he didn’t give a shit about how he took my piece of ass so”—he dismissively shrugs—“I guess I’m not going to give a shit about it.” His gaze falls down the length of my body. “And if anything, you were a really good fuck, Bay.”
My whole body burns at my bad—but necessary—decisions. The way he’s speaking to me as if I was so easy to toss away makes my chest ache. My stomach guts itself out as he looks down at me like we never had anything.
That it was all in my imagination.
The words he spoke.
The promise he offered.
The dreams he created and passed along. All of them are gone.
“I’m sorry,” I quake, because I don’t know what else to say. He’s too unsettled with how things unfolded, and he’s not going to want to hear it, but I need it said. No matter what I did and why, I need him to know I still give a shit about him.
“You might be,” he replies collectedly. “But I can guarantee you’re really going to be soon, McQueen. Wait until you see me without you.”
I already have, and I hate it.
Reeve gives me an ominous smirk before he turns to walk away, and I don’t stop him.
I’m cemented to my spot in sheer heartbreak, and nothing wants to work.
I’ve lost him.
And he’s never coming back.